The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. CXXIV

A true behemoth of a Holiday album awaits thee, music-lovers. Strap yourself in. . .

Album Title:  Winter Wonderland

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Kids, I've had this double-LP release on my list for years.

Years.

I took one look at the track list on this this thing and realized it wasn't something that could be realistically passed up. Alas, seeing how it was out of print I wasn't thrilled with paying Amazon's exuberant, post-Covid price. Eventually, over the summer, it dipped down to like $22 and I pulled the trigger on it. Sadly it's not pressed on colored vinyl - which would have been a nice, if not trivial, bonus.

Considering most of the songs on here are well-known, I figured the easiest thing to do here is lean hard into those tracks on this album that aren't seasonal favorites. I mean, at this point in the grand scheme of things, what more am I going to say about Brenda Lee's 'Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree?' Who the hell am I to comment on something like that? 

Some random guy dying on some random hill in some obscure corner of the World Wide Web, that's who. 

So, taking this into consideration, I'm going to break each of these four sides down one at a time and introduce you to some of the Holiday jams on here that you may or may not have heard. . .

The inner record sleeves for this release are pretty fancy, too.

Disc 1, Side A.

They come out of the gate strong with the first two songs, no question there. But Track 3 pumps the brakes pretty damn fast. This whole compilation is definitely themed, showcasing Christmas standards from the 40's - 60's. You have a whole splattering of familiar faces (looking at the track listing on these four sides, you can see who I'm talking about), but then you're presented with a handful of 'filler' artists that were probably label rank-and-file back in the day. Paul Anka is one of these guys.

Paul himself doesn't sound all that bad (for a '50s teen idol, I guess), but his backup singers - who introduce 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus' and then make weird little appearances throughout the following minutes - are really, really bad. You know that old elementary school taunt/chant, "So-and-so and so-and-so/in a tree/K-I-S-S-I-N-G"? That's essentially their delivery, except it sounds like the whole gaggle of hens got into a box of Franzia and had their way with it.

Billy Fury - who, honestly, sounds like he should be a G.I. Joe instead of a '50's crooner - isn't one I usually associate with Christmas, but 'My Christmas Prayer' is decent. I can't find any fault in it, really, but I've never heard this song before and I'm pretty sure I know why: this is 97% '50s teen ballad and 3% Christmas. If it weren't for the jingle bells playing softly in the background, and maybe half a dozen mentions of 'Christmas' and 'Snow' in the lyrics, you wouldn't think this was a Christmas song. If you were driving around in your car and this was in the background, you'd probably never know.

'Blue Christmas' wraps up the end of Side A, but for whatever f***ing reason the geniuses behind this compilation decided to pass on the quintessential version done by Elvis, opting instead for Bobby Vee. Bobby is to Elvis as The Chad Mitchell Trio are to Bob Dylan. 'Are they both folk artists?'  Yeah, sure. But one of them is Bob frickin' Dylan, and the others can be found collecting dust in your local Goodwill. While the arrangement itself isn't bad objectively, whoever recorded this dual-layered Bobby's vocals terribly, so it sounds like he's singing with his twin instead of just boosting his own vocals. 

So like The Proclaimers, if you will. But only they're a Chad Mitchell Trio-tier act covering a Holiday staple done by someone far superior.

Disc 1, Side B:

Every song on this side is a  Holiday banger. Every. Last. One. You've heard 'em all, they're great.

Move along, folks.

Disc 2, Side C:

This one defies all rational thought: who in their right mind would include 'Rockin' Robin'' on a Holiday album?  

When I first spotted this on the track list, I thought to myself, "Well, maybe they recorded an alternate version, where the lyrics are adjusted slightly to make it Christmas-y. And maybe they added jingle bells or something."

Nope. 

It's the same version you've heard your entire life. Did they throw it in there just because the rest of the album is mostly '50s music?  I didn't know folks could do that, just throw whatever songs you want onto a Holiday compilation.  

I really like Led Zeppelin's 'Good Times, Bad Times' but I'm NOT about to dump it into one of my Holiday playlists. Good f***ing Lord.

Pat Boone has never been one of my favorites, but his version of 'Here Comes Santa Claus' is easily over-looked. Not stupendous, but meh - it's unoffensive filler that's easily overlooked if not short in duration.

Bobby Vee closes out yet another Side with yet another lackluster version of a song done soooo much better by so many other performers in existence. It boggles the mind why the producers of this compilation leaned so hard into this guy.

Seriously. They couldn't pull the trigger on another Sinatra or Bing song? Those guys are BOTH already in this compilation, and their versions are leaps and bounds above this one.

Disc 2, Side D:

Again, another side of Christmas classics (thank God.) Just take a gander at the track listing here - each one of those is a song you know every note to, it's ingrained in your soul at this point. I don't have a single complaint on this side either.

So, after listening to four sides of this jam-packed, Holiday compilation, I'm not regretting this purchase at all. Odd music selections aside - and damn, some of those were really, really weird - I will give the producers props for creating a compilation that flows incredibly well. This era in Christmas music was perfectly captured in this release, and, while some of it could have definitely been stricken in favor of other (better) versions, this stands as worthy addition to one's Holiday collection.

. . . . seriously, though - 'Rockin' Robin.'  I mean, c'mon.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (A cavalcade of awesome with a sprinkling of lackluster, Holiday bullshit thrown in for good measure. This compilation could have trimmed off the fat and been whittled down to one record and it would have easily been a 10.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. CXXI

Okay, people. 

It's mid-November. The Holiday Pre-Season is upon us.

And you all know what that means. . . .

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey.

If you like pompous know-it-alls in their mid-40's who act as if they have some kind of authority on a super random - albeit obscure - piece of pop culture, look no further. Yours Truly has spent nearly a decade hunting down and amassing stacks upon stacks of Christmas Records. From the dusty shelves of thrift stores, to the dollar bins at record stores, to the hunting down of limited edition, color-pressings of new albums online, I have collected and deeply analyzed (and, more often than not, thrown out) over a hundred and twenty albums thus far. All of them celebrating the most glorious of time of the year. 

Seeing how it's the first installment of this year's season of vinyl scrutinization, I'll once again direct your attention to the sacred rating scale we use around these parts:

10 - . . . And Out Come the Wolves  (Perfection. Don't believe me? Name a better punk album. I'll wait.)

9 - Cowabunga!  (I'm Gen-X, guys - for people in my age group, this term encapsulates the feeling of being round-house kicked across the face by a Ninja Turtle. But in a good way.)

8 - Awesome  (Solid, without any major faults. Worthy of repeated spins during the Holidays. )

7 - Pretty Rad  (Generally, in order for an album of mine to stay in Holiday Season Rotation, it needs to be rated '7' and up.)

6 - Decent  (This is the point where it gets dicey. Once and awhile a '6' makes it into constant rotation, but only if it satisfies a previously-vacant Holiday music niche.  These albums almost always get 'Shelved':  I hold on to them - for the time being - but they lose turntable time for the duration of the Season.)

5 - Meh   (This is the dime-a-dozen wasteland, where you find your Julie Andrews and your Percy Como's. Anything below this point is almost always put into my annual 'Donate to Goodwill' pile.)

4 - Borophyll  (There may be some redeeming qualities here that might make albums at this score appeal to some people, but definitely not to Yours Truly.)

3 - Seriously?  (Comically bad, if you will.)

2 - Reality TV  (There's only one thing shittier than Reality TV, gang. . . .)

1 - Ohio  (Do I really have to explain this?)

Good.  Now that everyone's been refreshed with how shit works around here, let's just go ahead and get started, shall we. . .

Album Title:  In the Christmas Spirit

Album Artist:  Booker T. and the MG's

I managed to snatch this up on Amazon for an unheard-of-in-2024 price of $14, pressed on clear vinyl to boot. This one had been on my radar for awhile, but, like I've said before, I have serious problems paying $20 - $25 for a single-record LP. 

And I know that's the going rate now, guys, calm down. Doesn't mean I have to be cool with it. Open up another pressing plant already, this shit's getting ridiculous.

Anyway, this Holiday album is exactly what I expected it to be. If you haven't heard of Booker T. & the MG's before, that's fine - I guarantee you've heard the instrumental, '60s classic 'Green Onions.' If that doesn't ring any bells, do me a favor real quick and just Google it.  I'll give you a sec.

. . .

Sound familiar now? Okay. Take that 'sound,' and now make it do Christmas stuff. 

That's what this album sounds like.

This is solid background music for cocktails or hosting a dinner party. It's a soft, almost quiet album that fades easily into the background, yet somehow retains a presence without being forgotten or drowned out. I credit this feat with the simple fact that this Holiday offering just seeps 'coolness,' calling back memories of the great '60s soul artists that the MG's used to support in the studio back in the day. 

Much of this 'coolness' vibe comes courtesy of the Hammond B-3 Organ so often affiliated with Booker T. Jones' personal sound. 

If you have a problem with Hammond organs, you should probably steer clear of this one. Because there's a LOT of B-3 to be found here.

This album is a slow burn, guys. You're not going to get smacked in the face with a hook that just floors you, right out of the gate. You're not going to drop the needle down on this record and sit up and take notice. There aren't really any stand-alone tracks worthy of mention here, either - they all kinda sound the same, and bleed together with the same level of intensity, tempo, and volume. But, despite me bringing up 'monotony' before in previous posts as a telltale sign of a shitty Christmas album, this is definitely not the case here.

Booker T. & the MG's want to be a soft, cool presence in the background. They're a backing band, after all. If they wanted to write a Christmas classic that would get repeated airtime on the radio every Holiday season, they would've done it already. They simply chose not to.

If you had a super cool, elderly black uncle that dropped in and out of your life from time to time, and whenever he did so he'd like offer you a joint and drop some bit of soft-spoken, but profound, life knowledge on your ass, this would be it. 

Just, you know, in Christmas album form.

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad (A slow burn, to be sure, but nevertheless it's one of the coolest, low-key records you'll spin this Holiday Season.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. C

*cue elaborate fanfare*

We did it, folks.  100 Episodes of the greatest Holiday Vinyl review series on the World Wide Web (I assume - I doubt there's another asshole out there doing this.)

Because this is a special event (of sorts), I decided to mix things up a little bit with this installment.  It felt like too much of an honor for any shitty, old Christmas album pulled out of a dollar bin at a local record store to be scrutinized on this 100th Episode.  So, instead, I decided to re-evaluate a few of the past installments that were deemed acceptable enough to remain in my collection, but are now getting donated.

Bottom line is I'm running out of room in my Christmas Music crate - some of these mediocre LPs needed to be liquidated in order to make room for new additions later on down the road.  And, odds are, we'll be having another one of these mass-execution episodes in a few years - I can't just keep buying records and keeping them.  Kris would kill me.

So, without further adieu, here's the list of those old relics that are being taken out to pasture:

Album Title:  Remembering Christmas with the Big Bands

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 2 (Nov. 23, 2015)

Rating:  6

This album wasn't terrible, per se, but in the seven years since I reviewed this one I haven't put it on the turntable to listen to once.  Not once.  Jazz is one of those genres where you have to be in the right mood for it, and when that rare mood arises during the Holiday season when I feel like listening to jazz, I usually gravitate towards the likes of the Vince Guaraldi Trio, Sinatra, or Bing.  Sorry, Glenn Miller and Co., but the ship has sailed for you guys.

I'm sure there are thousands of World War II vets rolling in their graves over this decision, but whatever.

Album Title:  Your Favorite Christmas Music, Volume 4

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 6 (Dec. 1, 2015)

Rating:  6

Another perfect example of 'this is okay, but I have other LPs that are better.'  This compilation from the good people over at Firestone (seriously, what the f***) is fine example of contemporary '50s/60s music that was all the rage back in the day, but was over-shadowed by the counter-culture surge of Rock and Roll and 'the negro music.'  Traditional artists doing larger-than-necessary renditions of Christmas classics.  I honestly can't believe I gave this one a '6' seven years ago - had I reviewed this today it would probably be a '4' or a '5,' but back then I was new-ish at analyzing Christmas albums and was a little nicer when giving out scores.  Now that I'm a grumpy old man, I realize that this sounds like so many other boring Holiday albums I've reviewed over the years, and it has no business being in my record collection.

Sorry, (Mary Poppins.)

Album Title:  Enchantment of Christmas

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 10 (Dec. 8, 2015)

Rating:  7

This one is actually pretty good, and I don't have anything negative to really say about it - it's a great compilation of 50s/60s Christmas music.  Unfortunately, this version is in that VG/G+ range in terms of sound quality: no skips or pops, but some definite surface noise, and if I'm going to hold on to a record I want to make sure I have a decent copy of it.  More than that, however, is the fact that I already have every, last one of these songs on a multi-record, boxed set that's in NM condition, so owning this LP is, honestly, kinda redundant. 

Album Title:  The Little Drummer Boy

Album Artist:  The Abbey Chorale

Featured On:  Ep. 17 (Dec. 20, 2015)

Rating:  6

This one I felt bad about getting rid of at first, but then I realized the error in my ways back in 2015.  See, when I first reviewed this one, I wrongly assumed that this version of 'The Little Drummer Boy' was the definitive one - the classic one from the 1950's that everyone knows.  I can't be faulted too much for that, because it sounds nearly identical, but the version I was thinking about was the famous rendition by The Harry Simeone Chorale (1958.)  That (better) version I already own on an existing Holiday compilation, so there's no reason for me owning an album such as this if the only reason I'm doing so is because of that song.  The rest of the album is okay - like I said before, it's churchy, but done well - but I've rarely listened to it in the years since reviewing it the first time.  

I don't get the need to listen to church music very often (if ever), so this one's getting pitched as well.

Album Title:  What if Mozart Wrote Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?

Album Artist:  The Hampton String Quartet

Featured On:  Ep. 22 (Dec. 1, 2016)

Rating:  6

I love Classical music, and I love Christmas music, so this one should be a knock out of the park, but it just doesn't work for me.  I've actually listened to this one on occasion since hearing it for the first time back in 2016, and every time I do so I get bored with it.  It's a cool enough concept in theory, but the execution doesn't leave one with feeling the Yuletide vibes at all.  Most of the songs on here require active listening in order to identify a familiar Holiday melody, and that kinda dampens this one on the ol' Fun scale.

Album Title:  A Merry Christmas to You

Album Artist:  David Rose and His Orchestra

Featured On:  Ep. 71 (Dec. 8, 2020)

Rating:  6

This is a pretty solid instrumental album, and sounds like the orchestral, backing music to any one of the countless '50s compilations I've reviewed in the past.  It sounds like the sort of music Sinatra or Bing sang over, and it's mixed well - great background music for the Holiday season.  That being said, this copy is in pretty rough shape, and I have other instrumental albums that I gravitate more towards during the Holiday season.  Like I stated originally, there aren't a lot of highs and lows on this album to keep the listener engaged:  the medleys keep things from getting too boring, but a lot of it starts to sound the same after awhile.  All in all, I'd recommend it for sure if a.) you have a decent copy and b.) don't have anything else similar in your collection.

Album Title:  Christmas with The Canadian Brass and the Great Organ of St. Patrick's Cathedral

Album Artist:  The Canadian Brass

Featured On:  Ep. 90 (Dec. 15, 2021)

Rating:  6

How this LP still works is beyond me - it's not bad at all, but it's not necessarily great either.  It's just okay.  Like all of the other albums in today's post, there's not a lot to complain about, but there are better options in my collection, and I have to trim fat from somewhere.  I held on to this one because of the sheer balls of the brass section - it's not a sound you hear often on a Christmas album, so last year I deemed it was worth holding on to.  I would probably still be holding on to it if I hadn't just had my socks blown off a few days ago when reviewing this similar-but-better, brass-heavy Christmas album.

VERDICT:  n/a (We bid farewell to a few mediocre installments from the previous seven or eight years that were once deemed good enough to remain in Holiday Rotation, but shall now walk The Green Mile in order to make room for new additions in the coming years.)

- SHELVED -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XCVIII

It's been a loooong time comin', folks, but I do believe we finally have ourselves a winner here with this one. . .

Album Title:  Winter Wonderland

Album Artist:  The Brass Band

Good God.  I almost didn't think we'd ever find ourselves back in the realm of 'decent' music again, as we've been trudging through the muck and mire of the usual 3 - 5 range for over a year now.  This one, for sure, came as a shocker - didn't think this would be the one to get us back on track.

I mean, I picked this up from Radio Wasteland earlier in the year with zero expectations.  Campy '60s album cover art, generic title and track listing, no back information on the band or production to speak of, the subtle mention of 'brass,' etc. I assumed this was going to be just another offering of louder-than-needed brass, playing traditional Christmas songs.  Maybe I'd write up something witty about the fact that the lady on the album cover looks like she dipped her hand in wet cement and the cheap album art people tried to pass it off as 'snow.'  You know, that old trope. 

Now, when it comes to '60s instrumental albums (such as this one), I've found that 'brass' can mean one of four things:  traditional marches, Dixieland jazz, Tijuana jazz, or polka.

This one, believe it or not, is all four combined.  

Not only that, dear readers, but most of the time these musicians are switching back and forth between styles multiples times within the same song.  Sometimes a part of song comes across like Tijuana/Herb Alpert-ish Latin brass, but then other times it ditches everything South of the Border and instead makes a beeline straight for the whorehouses of 'Nawlins for some good ol' fashioned Dixieland jazz.  Then, next thing you know, there's a marimba trill, the tempo slows, and suddenly the Latin vibe kicks right back up again.  All within the same song.

It shouldn't work - from a musical standpoint, this is suicide - but holy shit, guys.  This one has restored my faith in humanity.

So, taking a closer look at the sound of this release, this album is definitely your stereotypical, full-band, '60s instrumental, featuring accents of the usual marimbas, surf guitar, bongos, etc.  But first and foremost, of course is the big, ballsy brass band, which takes front and center stage as it ducks-and-weaves through marches, polkas, sambas, tangos, cha-cha, you name it.  

What's crazy is that this album is so good I tried to find out who exactly did the recording of this album so I could add the album to one of my Amazon 'Holiday' playlists.  Sadly, there's no information on the back of the album to speak of - just a listing of other Holiday offerings from some obscure, likely-out-of-business record company.  Wikipedia had nothing on them (Gene Riley'd once again, folks), but neither did Google: all I found was a random Youtube video playing the album with the cover art as the video image, with the caption 'Forgotten LPs.'

Not a good sign.

Sadly, there are only ten short tracks on this offering, and each of the songs is somewhat short, which means this is a fast listen.  In other bad news, I'm going to have to get another copy of this pressing off of Discogs, because there's a pop on Track 1 of Side B of my copy that lasts about five or six seconds, juuuust enough to piss me off.  And something as unique as this LP requires a silent pressing, guys - something Near Mint, for sure.  Fortunately I was able to find a suitable copy easily enough (for $2.99 plus $6 shipping, if that tells you anything), so that problem will be remedied soon.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (The long-awaited Sleeper Hit of the season, coming out of left-field armed with an unknown 'Brass Band' that doesn't care in the slightest what kind of music you wanted to listen to before, you're gonna listen to what they're gonna play now and you're gonna like it.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. LV

I can't believe I'm about to do this. . .

Album Title:  A Partridge Family Christmas Carol

Album Artist:  The Partridge Family

Many times in the course of our lives, we willingly put ourselves in harm's way in order to brave the unknown.  Something calls to us, pulls us, forcing us to ignore the risks.  Call it curiosity, foolhardiness, or simple stupidity, whatever - most of us have met with dire consequences upon muttering the phrase, "screw it, let's see what happens."  

So goes this record offering I have for you today.

I regret spending a $1 on this piece of shit.  It looked hokey, and I knew what I was getting into upon purchasing it, but I thought to myself, "Well, maybe it'll be so bad that it'll be kinda funny. . ."  God knows that's happened a time or two-dozen on this here blog of ours before.

Nope.  Not this time.

This album is so overly-produced and stripped of all things remotely human that it feels plastic.  There's nothing funny about it, it's just awful.  The Partridge Family did to credible music what Rian Johnson did to Star Wars:  they polished it to a lifeless gloss, removed all of its edge and controversy, and presented the world with a smiley-faced, pastel-colored turd that was as fake as the president's hair.

This Holiday release is in the same vein as most of their other music (though, to be honest, I've never been brave enough to listen to any of their other bullshit 'music.')  The Partridge Family is in the same studio-spawned crowd as the Monkees, and sound similar (I'd also throw in Three Dog Night, even though they weren't created by a studio, they sound about the same.)  '60s/'70s Bubblegum Rock.  So happy and safe it might as well be a manufactured by f***ing Fisher Price.

So that's who the Partridge Family is.  They're not even a real family, they're an assortment of actors who had enough boxes checked off on some random's studio exec's checklist to make the cut.  Visual appeal?  Check.  Can carry a tune?  Check.  Eating disorder?  Check.

Only two members of this 'family' even bothered showing up for this snooze-fest of a Christmas album:  Shirley Jones and David Cassidy.  A few of the random siblings/future child-star-turned-coke-heads managed to show up for a cover photo-op, but they don't get to do any singing or instrument-playing this time around.

Lucky them.

The fact that this album was even made is a crime against music.

VERDICT:  3/10 - Seriously? (A cheesy, G-rated offering from TV's shittiest musical family.)

- SHELVED -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXIX

Welcome back, fans.  For today's installment, we're headed south of the border for some Tijuana-fashioned yuletide jammage. . .

Album Title:  Christmas Album

Album Artist:  Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass

I picked up this gem during last February's great Record haul with Dad.  It was a buck, it's a Tijuana Christmas album, it's a no-brainer.

It should go without saying that anyone sitting down and putting this record on their turntable knows exactly what they're getting themselves into.  Herb's trumpet is prominent on most tracks, with his band's '60s laid-back swing backing him up on familiar Holiday standards.  It's unoffensive, familiar, and doesn't take any chances with the well-known material - which, for a pigeon-holed genre artist like this band, is probably a safe gamble.  Still, it leaves you wanting a little bit more in terms of arrangement.

When I picked this up, I was honestly expecting a more upbeat Tijuana-styled album from Herb and Co.  Not so much with this record.  This LP is straight-up, '60s, holiday cocktail music, with a Latin-infused twist.  Like several holiday albums I've reviewed previously, this is turtleneck sweater-wearing, cigarette-smoking, holiday-themed martini-sipping music one would place on their living room Hi-Fi while they entertain their neighborhood guests.  Only, in Tijuana.

(Why someone would wear a turtleneck sweater in Mexico is beyond me - it's hot as shit down there.)

"Hey amigos, anybody down for a nap?"

Anyway, the music, despite it's obvious Latin sound, is very '60s - just that slooooow, chill '60s swing.  It's much more chill than I would have expected.  I guess if you're a huge Herb Alpert fan - and you're probably not, as most Herb Alpert fans must be dead (that's all you can find in the record section at thrift stores anymore) - you can probably already guess what these slow jams of his sound like.  As if his band started falling asleep halfway through the recording process and Mr. Alpert just said 'screw it' and kept the tapes rolling.

I love me some Holiday, well-wishing, 'from our house to yours' messages on the back of Christmas albums. . .

All in all, it's an okay background LP, but not something I'd put on very often.  I rarely feel the need to wear a sweater and chill out with a martini in Mexico.

VERDICT:  6/10 - Decent  (As expected, and definitely not too bad. . . just a little too chill for my liking.)

- SHELVED -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXVI

Feliz Navidad, muchachos (y muchachas.)

Album Title:  Tijuana Christmas

Album Artist:  The Border Brass Band

When I first stumbled across this gem in a thrift store, I nearly crapped my pants.  And that's something I haven't done in, like, twelve years.  Thereabouts.

Honestly, it's like this album was designed just for Yours Truly.  I mean, the cover itself looks like something Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue would throw on their Christmas album (it's still in the works, fans.)  From the get-go, the hombre on the LP cover clearly catches one's eye, as it did mine when I was ruffling through stacks of Katie Smith, Mantovani, and Andy Williams.  Clearly this dude's getting into the spirit of Christmas.

Es muy bueno.

Badass cover art aside, this music collection is super badass, and I don't like to throw a multiplier like 'super' around readily, gang.  No, this really does earn the 'super':  instrumental arrangements of Holiday standards, given a Tijuana twist.  It sounds more or less exactly how I imagined it would.

This doesn't mean every track on here gets the mariachi treatment, mind you.  We've got some harpsichord interludes here and there in a few songs, as well as that spy-themed, swingin' '60s sound.  It might not sound like it'd blend well with the more Latin-ish, typical-Tijuana instrumentals (a la Herb Alpert, per se), but, if you think about it, an entire album of mariachi Christmas music might be a little too much.

Even for me.

This is the Christmas album they made for those movies where James Bond has to track down a Mexican arms dealer during the Holidays, and as he flies through the crowded streets of Tijuana in some sporty '60s coupe - with a hot-ass blonde sitting beside him in the passenger seat, exchanging machine gun fire with multiple banditos on motorcycles in hot pursuit, 007 learns the true meaning of Christmas.

. . .

Sounds like a pretty shitty movie, actually.  But at least we know now that it'd have a bitchin' soundtrack.

VERDICT:  9/10 - Cowabunga! (Aye dios mio! )

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XI

Album Title:  We Wish You a Merry Christmas

Album Artist:  Ray Conniff and the Ray Conniff Singers

One look at this album and you can't help but chuckle to yourself.  "Are these guys serious?  How campy is this record?"

It does come across so, for sure; this album is one part Christmas carol medleys, one part the Hobbit's Glenn Yarbrough, one part Barbarella, one part CBS' Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, and two parts early '60s London swing.  You intrigued yet?  You should be, folks.  Is this indeed a strange mix?  Definitely.

But, believe it or not, it works.

Swingers (I especially like the creepy due in the middle, copping a feel.  For Baby Jesus.)

I like this one.

No idea who 'Dottie' is. . .

This album - like the cover art suggests, is a lot of fun.  Its total '60s cheesiness, but it relishes in it, and, like other albums I've reviewed so far, it does it so well embracing its roots that it holds up.

This album's collection of carols and holiday medleys ranges from early folk arrangements (pre-Dylan Greenwich Village folk. . . the kind of folk that didn't scare parents back in the day), to jazzy Yuletide renditions, to straight-up early '60s R & B and Shuffle.  The vocalists lead the songs instead of overpowering them, and to listen to it - ignoring the 'Singers' title on the front cover - you wouldn't think you were listening to a vocal album.  The music itself holds up and then some:  I'm a big fan of these medleys.

. . .is he doing a magic trick?

Dated?  Yeah, of course it is; if it's one thing the '60s did well, it was give their holiday tunes a signature 'sound.'  On this album, the folky accoustic guitar comes and goes, as does the full marching band, the orchestra, and the little collection of South-of-the-Border mariachi players.

If it sounds random, that's 'cause it is.  By all rationale, one shouldn't have a mariachi band playing The First Noel here, only to have a heavy folk rendition of Twelve Days of Christmas appear on the same side of the record.  But Ray Conniff does it.

I don't even know who the hell Ray Conniff is, but I'm a big fan of his now.  This album kicks ass.

VERDICT:  9/10 - Cowabunga! (A pleasant surprise.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

Album Title:  God Rest Ye Merry, Jazzmen

Album Artist:  Various Artists

I know this is going to ruffle a few feathers, but I need to get this off my chest once and for all:

I don't like  jazz.

There.  I said it.  Jazz bores me.

Meh.

While there are a few jazz albums I do like - Brubek's Take Five, Vince Guaraldi Trio's Charlie Brown Christmas  ("10/10" - The Houghs) - most of the rest I could happily do without for the remainder of my music-snobbish existence.

(Take that, hipsters.)

Jazz tries to hard.  And honestly, if music's so complex and so intricate that I can't whistle or tap my foot along to it, I really don't see a point in listening.  I don't care how talented you are, Jazz Musicians:  you don't need to try so hard convincing everyone you're awesome.

You ever hear the drummer from AC/DC?  That guy sure as hell doesn't show off, but he still rocks the drums.

Very rarely does any song on here in any way, shape or form resemble the Christmas song it's supposedly emulating.  Some bars you get the basic melody peaking through, but then it becomes drowned in overly-complicated drum fills, sax solos, and piano spasms.

Are these dudes talented?  Absolutely.  But I'd rather have a happy-go-lucky, homeless guy with two teeth slobbering into a harmonica and carrying 'Jingle Bells' than listen to this.

. . . come to think of it, that sounds awesome.  Someone round me up a hobo.  Post haste.

VERDICT:  5/10 - Meh (Tries too hard.  I'm not impressed.)

- SHELVED -

- Brian