The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXIX

Welcome back, fans.  For today's installment, we're headed south of the border for some Tijuana-fashioned yuletide jammage. . .

Album Title:  Christmas Album

Album Artist:  Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass

I picked up this gem during last February's great Record haul with Dad.  It was a buck, it's a Tijuana Christmas album, it's a no-brainer.

It should go without saying that anyone sitting down and putting this record on their turntable knows exactly what they're getting themselves into.  Herb's trumpet is prominent on most tracks, with his band's '60s laid-back swing backing him up on familiar Holiday standards.  It's unoffensive, familiar, and doesn't take any chances with the well-known material - which, for a pigeon-holed genre artist like this band, is probably a safe gamble.  Still, it leaves you wanting a little bit more in terms of arrangement.

When I picked this up, I was honestly expecting a more upbeat Tijuana-styled album from Herb and Co.  Not so much with this record.  This LP is straight-up, '60s, holiday cocktail music, with a Latin-infused twist.  Like several holiday albums I've reviewed previously, this is turtleneck sweater-wearing, cigarette-smoking, holiday-themed martini-sipping music one would place on their living room Hi-Fi while they entertain their neighborhood guests.  Only, in Tijuana.

(Why someone would wear a turtleneck sweater in Mexico is beyond me - it's hot as shit down there.)

"Hey amigos, anybody down for a nap?"

Anyway, the music, despite it's obvious Latin sound, is very '60s - just that slooooow, chill '60s swing.  It's much more chill than I would have expected.  I guess if you're a huge Herb Alpert fan - and you're probably not, as most Herb Alpert fans must be dead (that's all you can find in the record section at thrift stores anymore) - you can probably already guess what these slow jams of his sound like.  As if his band started falling asleep halfway through the recording process and Mr. Alpert just said 'screw it' and kept the tapes rolling.

I love me some Holiday, well-wishing, 'from our house to yours' messages on the back of Christmas albums. . .

All in all, it's an okay background LP, but not something I'd put on very often.  I rarely feel the need to wear a sweater and chill out with a martini in Mexico.

VERDICT:  6/10 - Decent  (As expected, and definitely not too bad. . . just a little too chill for my liking.)

- SHELVED -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXVI

Feliz Navidad, muchachos (y muchachas.)

Album Title:  Tijuana Christmas

Album Artist:  The Border Brass Band

When I first stumbled across this gem in a thrift store, I nearly crapped my pants.  And that's something I haven't done in, like, twelve years.  Thereabouts.

Honestly, it's like this album was designed just for Yours Truly.  I mean, the cover itself looks like something Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue would throw on their Christmas album (it's still in the works, fans.)  From the get-go, the hombre on the LP cover clearly catches one's eye, as it did mine when I was ruffling through stacks of Katie Smith, Mantovani, and Andy Williams.  Clearly this dude's getting into the spirit of Christmas.

Es muy bueno.

Badass cover art aside, this music collection is super badass, and I don't like to throw a multiplier like 'super' around readily, gang.  No, this really does earn the 'super':  instrumental arrangements of Holiday standards, given a Tijuana twist.  It sounds more or less exactly how I imagined it would.

This doesn't mean every track on here gets the mariachi treatment, mind you.  We've got some harpsichord interludes here and there in a few songs, as well as that spy-themed, swingin' '60s sound.  It might not sound like it'd blend well with the more Latin-ish, typical-Tijuana instrumentals (a la Herb Alpert, per se), but, if you think about it, an entire album of mariachi Christmas music might be a little too much.

Even for me.

This is the Christmas album they made for those movies where James Bond has to track down a Mexican arms dealer during the Holidays, and as he flies through the crowded streets of Tijuana in some sporty '60s coupe - with a hot-ass blonde sitting beside him in the passenger seat, exchanging machine gun fire with multiple banditos on motorcycles in hot pursuit, 007 learns the true meaning of Christmas.

. . .

Sounds like a pretty shitty movie, actually.  But at least we know now that it'd have a bitchin' soundtrack.

VERDICT:  9/10 - Cowabunga! (Aye dios mio! )

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XX

Merry Pre-Season, gang.  Let's get us some jammage analyzed. . .

Album Title:  Something Festive

Album Artist:  Various Artists

I think those of you out there who have been somewhat keeping up with this blog - specifically this Christmas Record Odyssey of mine - have caught on to the fact that Yours Truly enjoys his '60s music.  While not universally, at least frequently when it pertains to Christmas songs.  True, sometimes Christmas albums recorded in the '60s fall flat (you heard me, Johnny Mathis), but other times we find ourselves some true gems in the Holiday Music section of the Hough Family Record Collection.

This one, here, is. . . well, sort of in the middle.

This record, like others found in this year's run of Holiday music, was purchased on purpose from a local thrift shop for a mere 59 cents.  As such, my hopes weren't super high for this particular record, but given the cheesy cover art and some of the bands and songs on the track list, I was still anxious to give it a whirl on the 'ol Holiday turntable.

After listening to this album in its entirety, I'm satisfied with my spending less than a dollar on this.

Some of these songs, to be fair, are really good.  The instrumental Latin jams on here  (Herb Alpert, etc.) would definitely hold up all season long, as would Burt Bacharach's offerings:  why, I'd spend regular, non-thrift store money on a Christmas album if all it had were songs like these.  Those songs, on their own, would serve well as background music during a holiday cocktail party, with a bunch of older guys standing around in turtlenecks, perhaps eyeballing everyone else's wives while smoking cigars and not using coasters.

But, alas, those songs are not all that we have here.  We also have some really, really horrible songs on this album.

Most notably, there's a song called "Raggedy Ann & Raggedy Andy" that easily pulls this album down a a solid three points on my official one-to-ten scale, all by itself.  It's just brutal.  Nothing about it fits with the rest of the album:  there's nothing 'Latin,' 'jazzy,' or 'instrumental' about this song.  This not being an instrumental song is truly a shame, 'cause my main fault with this song is its vocal aspect.  What we appear to have here, upon listening to the song, is a drunken woman - the one and only Liza Minnelli, ladies and gentlemen - singing to a couple of shit-stained dolls in a dreary, long-neglected bedroom.

While that could be funny to watch - if not a little depressing, I suppose - it's not at all enjoyable to listen to.  It's so jarring I had a really hard time finishing it, and that's saying something.

Personally, if I want to hear Liza Minnelli make an ass of herself, I'll watch Arrested Development, thank you very much.

VERDICT:  5/10 - Meh  (The Good, the Bad, and the Minnelli:  it'd be a solid 7 if it were all Herb and Burt, but Liza and Co. drag it down into the Realm of Blegh.)

- SHELVED -

The Great Record Purge 2016

Alayna gets an education in vinyl collecting (these are ones I'm dumping.)

Hi, gang.

You all remember how I'm sort of obsessed with records, right?  I'm sure I've mentioned that before.  Anyway, lately Kris and I have been trying to de-clutter our house somewhat, and I figured it was high time to trim some of the fat in my massive collection.  Kris is opposed to me buying additional shelving for my records, so any and all space I can find is valuable indeed.  And if I ever want to buy new records - which is a given, considering it's a passion of mine - I need to make some serious room.

Some of my 'mood music' section.  Lots of ethnic music, historical pieces, instrumentals, and spoken word.  Not something you'd go out of your way to buy, but trust me - this section comes in handy, and works awesomely well as 'background music.'

Rock. And. Roll.  This is by far the biggest selection in my collection.

More Rock (arranged in alphabetical, by artist), into Folk.

This wasn't the first time I've purged my record collection, mind you:  back in May of 2015, I got rid of an entire two boxes of records prior to moving back to Michigan - maybe 100 records or so.  That was fairly easy, I owned more garbage than I realized (embarrassingly so.)  Now, however, I was hoping to dump four boxes worth - to get rid of albums that had pops and hisses (I had gotten rid of my scratched LPs years ago), albums that I never listened to, or only owned because I like the artist and not necessarily the album itself, etc.

Country, Western, Tijuana Jazz, and Country Gospel

It sounds easier than it is, people.  It's like parting with one's children.

This process took a week or two, but in the end I axed my three and a half boxes worth - probably 150-175 albums, total.  It was painful, but it had to be done:  eventually, the space that I freed up in my shelves will be replaced with new albums purchased off Amazon, so there was incentive for such purging.  I still had a lot of nonsense in my collection that was overlooked last year, so some of it went fairly easy.

Soundtracks, instrumentals, jazz, big band, etc.

For example, I had a lot of John Denver and Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass.  While John Denver has a few decent songs, he's not one of my favorites.  Do I need his entire discography (because I owned it, for some reason.)  No, I do not.  I'll keep his greatest hits, his Christmas album with The Muppets (duh.)  Do I need eight, individual Herb Alpert albums when I have a 5-LP boxed set of all his best music, considering I rarely listen to him?  No, I do not - they're all duplicates and filler.

This is what I'm talking about, America.  Trimming the fat.  Trimming the fat, and making room for new additions.

Clearing out space.  Here's some classical and Christmas music. . .

Some of this purge's casualties. . .

Bye bye, dear John Denver. . .

- Brian