The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. CXXI

Okay, people. 

It's mid-November. The Holiday Pre-Season is upon us.

And you all know what that means. . . .

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey.

If you like pompous know-it-alls in their mid-40's who act as if they have some kind of authority on a super random - albeit obscure - piece of pop culture, look no further. Yours Truly has spent nearly a decade hunting down and amassing stacks upon stacks of Christmas Records. From the dusty shelves of thrift stores, to the dollar bins at record stores, to the hunting down of limited edition, color-pressings of new albums online, I have collected and deeply analyzed (and, more often than not, thrown out) over a hundred and twenty albums thus far. All of them celebrating the most glorious of time of the year. 

Seeing how it's the first installment of this year's season of vinyl scrutinization, I'll once again direct your attention to the sacred rating scale we use around these parts:

10 - . . . And Out Come the Wolves  (Perfection. Don't believe me? Name a better punk album. I'll wait.)

9 - Cowabunga!  (I'm Gen-X, guys - for people in my age group, this term encapsulates the feeling of being round-house kicked across the face by a Ninja Turtle. But in a good way.)

8 - Awesome  (Solid, without any major faults. Worthy of repeated spins during the Holidays. )

7 - Pretty Rad  (Generally, in order for an album of mine to stay in Holiday Season Rotation, it needs to be rated '7' and up.)

6 - Decent  (This is the point where it gets dicey. Once and awhile a '6' makes it into constant rotation, but only if it satisfies a previously-vacant Holiday music niche.  These albums almost always get 'Shelved':  I hold on to them - for the time being - but they lose turntable time for the duration of the Season.)

5 - Meh   (This is the dime-a-dozen wasteland, where you find your Julie Andrews and your Percy Como's. Anything below this point is almost always put into my annual 'Donate to Goodwill' pile.)

4 - Borophyll  (There may be some redeeming qualities here that might make albums at this score appeal to some people, but definitely not to Yours Truly.)

3 - Seriously?  (Comically bad, if you will.)

2 - Reality TV  (There's only one thing shittier than Reality TV, gang. . . .)

1 - Ohio  (Do I really have to explain this?)

Good.  Now that everyone's been refreshed with how shit works around here, let's just go ahead and get started, shall we. . .

Album Title:  In the Christmas Spirit

Album Artist:  Booker T. and the MG's

I managed to snatch this up on Amazon for an unheard-of-in-2024 price of $14, pressed on clear vinyl to boot. This one had been on my radar for awhile, but, like I've said before, I have serious problems paying $20 - $25 for a single-record LP. 

And I know that's the going rate now, guys, calm down. Doesn't mean I have to be cool with it. Open up another pressing plant already, this shit's getting ridiculous.

Anyway, this Holiday album is exactly what I expected it to be. If you haven't heard of Booker T. & the MG's before, that's fine - I guarantee you've heard the instrumental, '60s classic 'Green Onions.' If that doesn't ring any bells, do me a favor real quick and just Google it.  I'll give you a sec.

. . .

Sound familiar now? Okay. Take that 'sound,' and now make it do Christmas stuff. 

That's what this album sounds like.

This is solid background music for cocktails or hosting a dinner party. It's a soft, almost quiet album that fades easily into the background, yet somehow retains a presence without being forgotten or drowned out. I credit this feat with the simple fact that this Holiday offering just seeps 'coolness,' calling back memories of the great '60s soul artists that the MG's used to support in the studio back in the day. 

Much of this 'coolness' vibe comes courtesy of the Hammond B-3 Organ so often affiliated with Booker T. Jones' personal sound. 

If you have a problem with Hammond organs, you should probably steer clear of this one. Because there's a LOT of B-3 to be found here.

This album is a slow burn, guys. You're not going to get smacked in the face with a hook that just floors you, right out of the gate. You're not going to drop the needle down on this record and sit up and take notice. There aren't really any stand-alone tracks worthy of mention here, either - they all kinda sound the same, and bleed together with the same level of intensity, tempo, and volume. But, despite me bringing up 'monotony' before in previous posts as a telltale sign of a shitty Christmas album, this is definitely not the case here.

Booker T. & the MG's want to be a soft, cool presence in the background. They're a backing band, after all. If they wanted to write a Christmas classic that would get repeated airtime on the radio every Holiday season, they would've done it already. They simply chose not to.

If you had a super cool, elderly black uncle that dropped in and out of your life from time to time, and whenever he did so he'd like offer you a joint and drop some bit of soft-spoken, but profound, life knowledge on your ass, this would be it. 

Just, you know, in Christmas album form.

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad (A slow burn, to be sure, but nevertheless it's one of the coolest, low-key records you'll spin this Holiday Season.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. C

*cue elaborate fanfare*

We did it, folks.  100 Episodes of the greatest Holiday Vinyl review series on the World Wide Web (I assume - I doubt there's another asshole out there doing this.)

Because this is a special event (of sorts), I decided to mix things up a little bit with this installment.  It felt like too much of an honor for any shitty, old Christmas album pulled out of a dollar bin at a local record store to be scrutinized on this 100th Episode.  So, instead, I decided to re-evaluate a few of the past installments that were deemed acceptable enough to remain in my collection, but are now getting donated.

Bottom line is I'm running out of room in my Christmas Music crate - some of these mediocre LPs needed to be liquidated in order to make room for new additions later on down the road.  And, odds are, we'll be having another one of these mass-execution episodes in a few years - I can't just keep buying records and keeping them.  Kris would kill me.

So, without further adieu, here's the list of those old relics that are being taken out to pasture:

Album Title:  Remembering Christmas with the Big Bands

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 2 (Nov. 23, 2015)

Rating:  6

This album wasn't terrible, per se, but in the seven years since I reviewed this one I haven't put it on the turntable to listen to once.  Not once.  Jazz is one of those genres where you have to be in the right mood for it, and when that rare mood arises during the Holiday season when I feel like listening to jazz, I usually gravitate towards the likes of the Vince Guaraldi Trio, Sinatra, or Bing.  Sorry, Glenn Miller and Co., but the ship has sailed for you guys.

I'm sure there are thousands of World War II vets rolling in their graves over this decision, but whatever.

Album Title:  Your Favorite Christmas Music, Volume 4

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 6 (Dec. 1, 2015)

Rating:  6

Another perfect example of 'this is okay, but I have other LPs that are better.'  This compilation from the good people over at Firestone (seriously, what the f***) is fine example of contemporary '50s/60s music that was all the rage back in the day, but was over-shadowed by the counter-culture surge of Rock and Roll and 'the negro music.'  Traditional artists doing larger-than-necessary renditions of Christmas classics.  I honestly can't believe I gave this one a '6' seven years ago - had I reviewed this today it would probably be a '4' or a '5,' but back then I was new-ish at analyzing Christmas albums and was a little nicer when giving out scores.  Now that I'm a grumpy old man, I realize that this sounds like so many other boring Holiday albums I've reviewed over the years, and it has no business being in my record collection.

Sorry, (Mary Poppins.)

Album Title:  Enchantment of Christmas

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Featured On:  Ep. 10 (Dec. 8, 2015)

Rating:  7

This one is actually pretty good, and I don't have anything negative to really say about it - it's a great compilation of 50s/60s Christmas music.  Unfortunately, this version is in that VG/G+ range in terms of sound quality: no skips or pops, but some definite surface noise, and if I'm going to hold on to a record I want to make sure I have a decent copy of it.  More than that, however, is the fact that I already have every, last one of these songs on a multi-record, boxed set that's in NM condition, so owning this LP is, honestly, kinda redundant. 

Album Title:  The Little Drummer Boy

Album Artist:  The Abbey Chorale

Featured On:  Ep. 17 (Dec. 20, 2015)

Rating:  6

This one I felt bad about getting rid of at first, but then I realized the error in my ways back in 2015.  See, when I first reviewed this one, I wrongly assumed that this version of 'The Little Drummer Boy' was the definitive one - the classic one from the 1950's that everyone knows.  I can't be faulted too much for that, because it sounds nearly identical, but the version I was thinking about was the famous rendition by The Harry Simeone Chorale (1958.)  That (better) version I already own on an existing Holiday compilation, so there's no reason for me owning an album such as this if the only reason I'm doing so is because of that song.  The rest of the album is okay - like I said before, it's churchy, but done well - but I've rarely listened to it in the years since reviewing it the first time.  

I don't get the need to listen to church music very often (if ever), so this one's getting pitched as well.

Album Title:  What if Mozart Wrote Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?

Album Artist:  The Hampton String Quartet

Featured On:  Ep. 22 (Dec. 1, 2016)

Rating:  6

I love Classical music, and I love Christmas music, so this one should be a knock out of the park, but it just doesn't work for me.  I've actually listened to this one on occasion since hearing it for the first time back in 2016, and every time I do so I get bored with it.  It's a cool enough concept in theory, but the execution doesn't leave one with feeling the Yuletide vibes at all.  Most of the songs on here require active listening in order to identify a familiar Holiday melody, and that kinda dampens this one on the ol' Fun scale.

Album Title:  A Merry Christmas to You

Album Artist:  David Rose and His Orchestra

Featured On:  Ep. 71 (Dec. 8, 2020)

Rating:  6

This is a pretty solid instrumental album, and sounds like the orchestral, backing music to any one of the countless '50s compilations I've reviewed in the past.  It sounds like the sort of music Sinatra or Bing sang over, and it's mixed well - great background music for the Holiday season.  That being said, this copy is in pretty rough shape, and I have other instrumental albums that I gravitate more towards during the Holiday season.  Like I stated originally, there aren't a lot of highs and lows on this album to keep the listener engaged:  the medleys keep things from getting too boring, but a lot of it starts to sound the same after awhile.  All in all, I'd recommend it for sure if a.) you have a decent copy and b.) don't have anything else similar in your collection.

Album Title:  Christmas with The Canadian Brass and the Great Organ of St. Patrick's Cathedral

Album Artist:  The Canadian Brass

Featured On:  Ep. 90 (Dec. 15, 2021)

Rating:  6

How this LP still works is beyond me - it's not bad at all, but it's not necessarily great either.  It's just okay.  Like all of the other albums in today's post, there's not a lot to complain about, but there are better options in my collection, and I have to trim fat from somewhere.  I held on to this one because of the sheer balls of the brass section - it's not a sound you hear often on a Christmas album, so last year I deemed it was worth holding on to.  I would probably still be holding on to it if I hadn't just had my socks blown off a few days ago when reviewing this similar-but-better, brass-heavy Christmas album.

VERDICT:  n/a (We bid farewell to a few mediocre installments from the previous seven or eight years that were once deemed good enough to remain in Holiday Rotation, but shall now walk The Green Mile in order to make room for new additions in the coming years.)

- SHELVED -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XCVIII

It's been a loooong time comin', folks, but I do believe we finally have ourselves a winner here with this one. . .

Album Title:  Winter Wonderland

Album Artist:  The Brass Band

Good God.  I almost didn't think we'd ever find ourselves back in the realm of 'decent' music again, as we've been trudging through the muck and mire of the usual 3 - 5 range for over a year now.  This one, for sure, came as a shocker - didn't think this would be the one to get us back on track.

I mean, I picked this up from Radio Wasteland earlier in the year with zero expectations.  Campy '60s album cover art, generic title and track listing, no back information on the band or production to speak of, the subtle mention of 'brass,' etc. I assumed this was going to be just another offering of louder-than-needed brass, playing traditional Christmas songs.  Maybe I'd write up something witty about the fact that the lady on the album cover looks like she dipped her hand in wet cement and the cheap album art people tried to pass it off as 'snow.'  You know, that old trope. 

Now, when it comes to '60s instrumental albums (such as this one), I've found that 'brass' can mean one of four things:  traditional marches, Dixieland jazz, Tijuana jazz, or polka.

This one, believe it or not, is all four combined.  

Not only that, dear readers, but most of the time these musicians are switching back and forth between styles multiples times within the same song.  Sometimes a part of song comes across like Tijuana/Herb Alpert-ish Latin brass, but then other times it ditches everything South of the Border and instead makes a beeline straight for the whorehouses of 'Nawlins for some good ol' fashioned Dixieland jazz.  Then, next thing you know, there's a marimba trill, the tempo slows, and suddenly the Latin vibe kicks right back up again.  All within the same song.

It shouldn't work - from a musical standpoint, this is suicide - but holy shit, guys.  This one has restored my faith in humanity.

So, taking a closer look at the sound of this release, this album is definitely your stereotypical, full-band, '60s instrumental, featuring accents of the usual marimbas, surf guitar, bongos, etc.  But first and foremost, of course is the big, ballsy brass band, which takes front and center stage as it ducks-and-weaves through marches, polkas, sambas, tangos, cha-cha, you name it.  

What's crazy is that this album is so good I tried to find out who exactly did the recording of this album so I could add the album to one of my Amazon 'Holiday' playlists.  Sadly, there's no information on the back of the album to speak of - just a listing of other Holiday offerings from some obscure, likely-out-of-business record company.  Wikipedia had nothing on them (Gene Riley'd once again, folks), but neither did Google: all I found was a random Youtube video playing the album with the cover art as the video image, with the caption 'Forgotten LPs.'

Not a good sign.

Sadly, there are only ten short tracks on this offering, and each of the songs is somewhat short, which means this is a fast listen.  In other bad news, I'm going to have to get another copy of this pressing off of Discogs, because there's a pop on Track 1 of Side B of my copy that lasts about five or six seconds, juuuust enough to piss me off.  And something as unique as this LP requires a silent pressing, guys - something Near Mint, for sure.  Fortunately I was able to find a suitable copy easily enough (for $2.99 plus $6 shipping, if that tells you anything), so that problem will be remedied soon.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (The long-awaited Sleeper Hit of the season, coming out of left-field armed with an unknown 'Brass Band' that doesn't care in the slightest what kind of music you wanted to listen to before, you're gonna listen to what they're gonna play now and you're gonna like it.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. LXXV

 Finally.  Time to liven up the ol' turntable with a solid helping of Yuletide badass-ness. . .

Album Title:  Complete Christmas Songbook

Album Artist:  Los Straitjackets

This is a FUN Christmas album.  I had never heard of Los Straitjackets before, outside of a couple songs they had released on existing compilations I own, and that I always thought were good jams.  When I saw this two-disc, brand new collection of every Holiday song these guys have ever recorded in their thirty-plus year career (yes, this band has been around that long), for an unheard of $6 on Amazon, I had no choice but to pull the trigger.

And that, dear readers, may be one of the best purchased I've ever made on Amazon.  Ever.

Folks, this holiday collection is practically flawless.  This is The Ventures with a Tijuana seasoning (despite that all these guys are gringos from Nashville, which you totally wouldn't guess from their sound and love of wearing Mexican Wrestling masks.)  This band dishes out an explosive mix of classic surf guitar and energetic drumming (with a twist of salt and lime) that roars out of the starting gate without once tripping up on its feet.  This truly sounds like a band that has played together for years - military-precision timing tells you these guys can anticipate one another's playing styles, which creates enjoyable, crisp, well-executed arrangements that perfectly capture every single Holiday song in a way that does each song justice, while maintaining the band's own signature sound.

I hate to say it folks, and you might think I'm crazy for sayin' it, but these guys do a better job of being The Ventures than The Ventures do.  There.  I said it.

There really isn't a weak song on this entire release, though I will admit that their strengths lie in their faster numbers.  Nothing necessarily wrong with their slower numbers, but they're clearly not as well-centered in the band's comfort zone.  

This album is perfect for so many situations, too.  Having a party?  Throw this sum'bitch on the turntable, no question.  Gift wrapping presents?  This one is perfect.  Decorating a Christmas tree?  Yup.  Driving around, looking at Christmas lights?  Can't think of a better album to listen to.  In all honesty, the only situation I can think of that this wouldn't be suitable for is, perhaps, sitting in a church service.  Or looking at one of those live-action Nativity scenes.

And even then, I'd still probably be cool with this.

As far as instrumental records go, this one very well may be in my Top Three.  Like, right up there with Vince Guaraldi Trio's Charlie Brown Christmas.  I think what eventually takes this one down a peg is the fact that, much like other albums I've reviewed over the years, many of these songs start to sound the same after awhile.  If this was a ten-track album, this might not be too big of a deal. . . but there are 27 tracks on this release, and most of them have a very similar sound.  That, and there's a couple 'live' songs at the end of Side D where there are actually vocals here and there, which, after three sides of pure instrumentals, is kinda like having a bucket of cold water thrown in your face.

Minor gripes, really, but there you go.

VERDICT:  9/10 - Cowabunga! (You'd be hard-pressed to find a better instrumental Holiday album.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. LXXI

Time to cozy up to the fire and put on another slab of Holiday vinyl, America. . .

Album Title:  A Merry Christmas to You

Album Artist:  David Rose and His Orchestra

Again, straight out of the Bethesda stack we've been working through over the course of these last few posts, comes this offering from 'David Rose' and 'His Orchestra.'  This one here didn't really stand out to me in the store, one way or the other:  the artwork is 'meh,' not awesome and not overly-hokey or anything like that, I was honestly pretty underwhelmed by the selection.

But I mean, come on. . . 59 cents.

If anything, the fact that is said it was David Rose was pretty funny.  I don't know if you guys watch Schitt'$ Creek or not, but David Rose (played by Eugene Levy's son) is a pretty hilarious character.  If that dude came out with a Christmas album I'd probably buy it (though, him being gay and everything, it'd probably be a lot of cabaret-ish, glittery nonsense. . . like Elton John or Liberace.)

Anyway, this album totally blindsided me.  This is a true orchestral record, not just saying '. . . and His Orchestra' like so many other albums do, and then featuring like a trombone, an accordion, a trumpet, a bass, and a piano.  Nope, this is the full set-up, folks:  string section, wind section, brass section, percussion section, you name it.  I don't get many true orchestral albums pass through this Record Odyssey of mine, so when they do it's like a bolt of silver lightning on a clear day.

This album is good.

Gonna have to go out on a limb here and say this is bullshit.

The arrangements rely heavily on the medley method, which is preferable when it comes to religious carols:  abridged carols and traditional songs get their chief melodies highlighted, then blended together seamlessly, as if the arrangers wanted to include every highlight of the season onto one Holiday LP.  This was a smart move, because being instrumental this release doesn't need to get bogged down into lyric-focused religious carols with their many, many verses.

Have you ever sung a Christmas carol at church?  There's like six frickin' verses to every song, they go on forever.)

If I had any criticisms, folks, it would be this:  this orchestra doesn't hit the highs and lows of, say, Tchaikovsky's Nutcracker (one of the few other orchestral albums we've reviewed here over the years.)  There's no dynamic forte sections here to speak of, as David Rose instead relies on dreamy, laid-back arrangements you might expect to find in a Christmas-themed Fantasia (if Disney ever produced a Christmas-themed Fantasia film back in the '50s.)  So if the majority of your arrangements are middle-of-the-road - never hitting those highs and lows that you'd find in a traditional symphony, for example - it's probably awesome for, say, television (where you need consistent background music), but not necessarily for focused listening.

Yep.  Another 'From Our Family to Yours' message.  Jesus. . .

I'd have to dock a couple points for that reason alone, folks.  Is this a good album?  Absolutely.  Would it benefit from maybe upping the ante in parts?  For sure.  I've had several albums I've reviewed over the years that stumble into this trap - the entire album sounds the same, so that eventually it just bleeds away into the background.  If you want to engage the listener, mix it up a little.  The great songs on here are great, no question about it, but there's a heck of a lot of filler, as well as some songs that, while there's nothing necessarily wrong with them, per se, aren't easily recognizable.  Rose is forced at some points to blend Holiday carols together with unique bits of melody in order to make them work, which is commendable, but since they're not recognizable you kinda don't get the Christmas-y vibe from 100% of this album.

So, as such, I'm going to have to officially state that this is a good record, that misses the opportunity to be great, which is regrettable.  However, due to it's uncommon sound (orchestral medley arrangements), I think I'll keep it in rotation this year, and re-evaluate its position next season.

VERDICT:  6/10 - Decent (A good orchestral Christmas album, that gets docked a few points for being too repetitive and bland in parts. Also, being from the '50s and everything, it's practically falling apart - kinda thinking I need to reorder this one on Discogs.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XX

Merry Pre-Season, gang.  Let's get us some jammage analyzed. . .

Album Title:  Something Festive

Album Artist:  Various Artists

I think those of you out there who have been somewhat keeping up with this blog - specifically this Christmas Record Odyssey of mine - have caught on to the fact that Yours Truly enjoys his '60s music.  While not universally, at least frequently when it pertains to Christmas songs.  True, sometimes Christmas albums recorded in the '60s fall flat (you heard me, Johnny Mathis), but other times we find ourselves some true gems in the Holiday Music section of the Hough Family Record Collection.

This one, here, is. . . well, sort of in the middle.

This record, like others found in this year's run of Holiday music, was purchased on purpose from a local thrift shop for a mere 59 cents.  As such, my hopes weren't super high for this particular record, but given the cheesy cover art and some of the bands and songs on the track list, I was still anxious to give it a whirl on the 'ol Holiday turntable.

After listening to this album in its entirety, I'm satisfied with my spending less than a dollar on this.

Some of these songs, to be fair, are really good.  The instrumental Latin jams on here  (Herb Alpert, etc.) would definitely hold up all season long, as would Burt Bacharach's offerings:  why, I'd spend regular, non-thrift store money on a Christmas album if all it had were songs like these.  Those songs, on their own, would serve well as background music during a holiday cocktail party, with a bunch of older guys standing around in turtlenecks, perhaps eyeballing everyone else's wives while smoking cigars and not using coasters.

But, alas, those songs are not all that we have here.  We also have some really, really horrible songs on this album.

Most notably, there's a song called "Raggedy Ann & Raggedy Andy" that easily pulls this album down a a solid three points on my official one-to-ten scale, all by itself.  It's just brutal.  Nothing about it fits with the rest of the album:  there's nothing 'Latin,' 'jazzy,' or 'instrumental' about this song.  This not being an instrumental song is truly a shame, 'cause my main fault with this song is its vocal aspect.  What we appear to have here, upon listening to the song, is a drunken woman - the one and only Liza Minnelli, ladies and gentlemen - singing to a couple of shit-stained dolls in a dreary, long-neglected bedroom.

While that could be funny to watch - if not a little depressing, I suppose - it's not at all enjoyable to listen to.  It's so jarring I had a really hard time finishing it, and that's saying something.

Personally, if I want to hear Liza Minnelli make an ass of herself, I'll watch Arrested Development, thank you very much.

VERDICT:  5/10 - Meh  (The Good, the Bad, and the Minnelli:  it'd be a solid 7 if it were all Herb and Burt, but Liza and Co. drag it down into the Realm of Blegh.)

- SHELVED -