*cue elaborate fanfare*
We did it, folks. 100 Episodes of the greatest Holiday Vinyl review series on the World Wide Web (I assume - I doubt there's another asshole out there doing this.)
Because this is a special event (of sorts), I decided to mix things up a little bit with this installment. It felt like too much of an honor for any shitty, old Christmas album pulled out of a dollar bin at a local record store to be scrutinized on this 100th Episode. So, instead, I decided to re-evaluate a few of the past installments that were deemed acceptable enough to remain in my collection, but are now getting donated.
Bottom line is I'm running out of room in my Christmas Music crate - some of these mediocre LPs needed to be liquidated in order to make room for new additions later on down the road. And, odds are, we'll be having another one of these mass-execution episodes in a few years - I can't just keep buying records and keeping them. Kris would kill me.
So, without further adieu, here's the list of those old relics that are being taken out to pasture:
Album Title: Remembering Christmas with the Big Bands
Album Artist: Various Artists
Featured On: Ep. 2 (Nov. 23, 2015)
Rating: 6
This album wasn't terrible, per se, but in the seven years since I reviewed this one I haven't put it on the turntable to listen to
once. Not once. Jazz is one of those genres where you have to be in the right mood for it, and when that rare mood arises during the Holiday season when I feel like listening to jazz, I usually gravitate towards the likes of the
Vince Guaraldi Trio,
Sinatra, or
Bing. Sorry, Glenn Miller and Co., but the ship has sailed for you guys.
I'm sure there are thousands of World War II vets rolling in their graves over this decision, but whatever.
Album Title: Your Favorite Christmas Music, Volume 4
Album Artist: Various Artists
Featured On: Ep. 6 (Dec. 1, 2015)
Rating: 6
Another perfect example of 'this is okay, but I have other LPs that are better.' This compilation from the good people over at
Firestone (seriously, what the f***) is fine example of contemporary '50s/60s music that was all the rage back in the day, but was over-shadowed by the counter-culture surge of Rock and Roll and 'the negro music.' Traditional artists doing larger-than-necessary renditions of Christmas classics. I honestly can't believe I gave this one a '
6' seven years ago - had I reviewed this today it would probably be a '
4' or a '
5,' but back then I was new-ish at analyzing Christmas albums and was a little nicer when giving out scores. Now that I'm a grumpy old man, I realize that this sounds like so many other boring Holiday albums I've reviewed over the years, and it has no business being in my record collection.
Sorry, (Mary Poppins.)
Album Title: Enchantment of Christmas
Album Artist: Various Artists
Featured On: Ep. 10 (Dec. 8, 2015)
Rating: 7
This one is actually pretty good, and I don't have anything negative to really say about it - it's a great compilation of 50s/60s Christmas music. Unfortunately, this version is in that
VG/G+ range in terms of sound quality: no skips or pops, but some
definite surface noise, and if I'm going to hold on to a record I want to make sure I have a decent copy of it. More than that, however, is the fact that I already have every, last one of these songs on a multi-record, boxed set that's in
NM condition, so owning this LP is, honestly, kinda redundant.
Album Title: The Little Drummer Boy
Album Artist: The Abbey Chorale
Featured On: Ep. 17 (Dec. 20, 2015)
Rating: 6
This one I felt bad about getting rid of
at first, but then I realized the error in my ways back in 2015. See, when I
first reviewed this one, I wrongly assumed that
this version of '
The Little Drummer Boy' was the definitive one - the classic one from the 1950's that everyone knows. I can't be faulted too much for that, because it sounds nearly identical, but the version I
was thinking about was the famous rendition by
The Harry Simeone Chorale (1958.)
That (better) version I already own on an existing Holiday compilation, so there's no reason for me owning an album such as this if the only reason I'm doing so is because of that song. The rest of the album is
okay - like I said before, it's churchy, but done well - but I've rarely listened to it in the years since reviewing it the first time.
I don't get the need to listen to church music very often (if ever), so this one's getting pitched as well.
Album Title: What if Mozart Wrote Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?
Album Artist: The Hampton String Quartet
Featured On: Ep. 22 (Dec. 1, 2016)
Rating: 6
I love Classical music, and I love Christmas music, so this one
should be a knock out of the park, but it just doesn't work for me. I've actually listened to this one on occasion since hearing it for the first time back in
2016, and every time I do so I get bored with it. It's a cool enough concept
in theory, but the execution doesn't leave one with feeling the Yuletide vibes at all. Most of the songs on here require active listening in order to identify a familiar Holiday melody, and that kinda dampens this one on the ol' Fun scale.
Album Title: A Merry Christmas to You
Album Artist: David Rose and His Orchestra
Featured On: Ep. 71 (Dec. 8, 2020)
Rating: 6
This is a pretty solid instrumental album, and sounds like the orchestral, backing music to any one of the countless '50s compilations I've reviewed in the past. It sounds like the sort of music
Sinatra or
Bing sang over, and it's mixed well - great background music for the Holiday season. That being said, this copy is in pretty rough shape, and I have other instrumental albums that I gravitate more towards during the Holiday season. Like I
stated originally, there aren't a lot of highs and lows on this album to keep the listener engaged: the medleys keep things from getting too boring, but a lot of it starts to sound the same after awhile. All in all, I'd recommend it for sure if
a.) you have a decent copy and
b.) don't have anything else similar in your collection.
Album Title: Christmas with The Canadian Brass and the Great Organ of St. Patrick's Cathedral
Album Artist: The Canadian Brass
Featured On: Ep. 90 (Dec. 15, 2021)
Rating: 6
How this LP still works is beyond me - it's not bad at all, but it's not necessarily great either. It's just
okay. Like all of the other albums in today's post, there's not a lot to complain about, but there are better options in my collection, and I have to trim fat from
somewhere. I held on to this one because of the sheer balls of the brass section - it's not a sound you hear often on a Christmas album, so last year I deemed it was worth holding on to. I would probably still be holding on to it if I hadn't just had my socks blown off a few days ago when
reviewing this similar-but-better, brass-heavy Christmas album.
VERDICT: n/a (We bid farewell to a few mediocre installments from the previous seven or eight years that were once deemed good enough to remain in Holiday Rotation, but shall now walk The Green Mile in order to make room for new additions in the coming years.)
- Brian
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