'Twas the Night(s) Before Christmas

What's up, readers.

This Christmas Eve was, well, pretty different from the previous seven years since we've been back in Michigan.  The foretold 'Snowpocalypse' that was supposed to pummel the Tri-City area never really materialized, and while we were fortunate enough to finally get ourselves a White Christmas (the first one we've had in years), we were left with a paltry four inches of snow.  This was a far cry from the 8" - 12" that was promised by the weather folks, so we counted ourselves lucky.  

Unfortunately, Gaylord - where the majority of our usual Christmas Eve guests live - were snowed in.  Those poor bastards got the full brunt of the storm, and getting down to Midland for our annual Christmas Eve wasn't happening.  Kris' mom wasn't going to be able to make it out, either - without Mickey and them willing to shoulder some of the burden, we weren't about to drive to and from Clare twice on Christmas Eve to retrieve her.

So, the Houghs were on their own this year.  The day after the girls and I were done with school, and Christmas Vacation officially kicked off, the storm hit and we hunkered down while the wind and snow pelted the area.  We set the house up for company that had zero chance of arriving, and spent three days just sitting around the house, spinning Holiday vinyl, watching Christmas movies, grazing on our usual Holiday fare, and more or less acting like it was Christmas Eve.  

But, you know, for three days instead of just one.  It was pretty awesome.

Check it out, folks - the Night(s) Before Christmas, Hough-style. . .

On our last big grocery-shopping trip before the 'storm' hit, I picked this up for myself for the Holiday season.

I'm going to thoroughly enjoy this. . .

Watching the Jim Henson not-so-classic A Christmas Toy, which Kris gave me some serious shit for (apparently she didn't grow up with it like I did.)

The first day of Christmas Vacation (Thursday the 22nd) was spent streaming Christmas movies in the basement (whether folks were watching them or not), lounging around in pajamas, and playing games.

Trivial Pursuit.  I'm the blue one, near the center (shortly before my inevitable win), Alayna is the green one, Abby the orange, and poor, poor Kris is the yellow one.  This game is not Kris' strong suit.

Lotta wine drank over the last three days.  Nothing else to do but watch the wind howl outside and find ways to keep yourself Yule-fully entertained.

I found a decent-resolution version of this TV special on YouTube, including the vintage '80s commercials and everything.  Haven't seen those in years, so it was pretty nostaglic.

It had been a long, long time since we had ourselves a decent White Christmas, so were pretty stoked to have enough snow on the ground the really drive home the Holiday vibes.

Friday morning, the day before Christmas Eve, Kris and I loaded up the dogs into her van and drove them over to the vet for their annual check-ups and vaccinations.  The roads weren't too bad by Friday morning, as the city was prepared for a lot more snow than we actually got and were able to clear the roads quickly.  The check-ups went well, both dogs weighing in at 22 lbs and in good health (though we're going to have to start giving them both fish oil in their food to help with their aging joints.)

In the afternoon, Abby made a cake.  Because she was bored.

Yours Truly, meanwhile, started prepping my usual Christmas Eve turkey (Christmas-ish craft beer being a necessary component in the process.)

I did mine a little different this year, straying from my usual Michigander recipe and instead taking an extra three days in order to dry brine the damn thing.  I cut slits in the skin and created pockets between it and the meat in order to rub in a mixture of salt, pepper and various spices.  I did this on both sides of the bird, and, after the bird was thoroughly seasoned, I covered it and stuck it in the fridge for three days.  The science behind a dry brine - opposed to a wet brine - is that the salt sucks up all the moisture of the bird before re-releasing it back into the tougher flesh over the course of a few days.  The ending result is much juicier white meat, which was what I was shooting for.

I stuffed a few apples inside the bird as well in order to help lock the moisture in, and used toothpicks to keep the skin sealed up (as best as possible.)

Kris got a 13 lb turkey, since she and the girls don't really care for it all that much, so it only had to cook for like three hours.

This is more or less how we looked for three days.

Kris and Alayna, wrapping gifts in the basement.  Teenagers love getting their pictures taken.

A few hours later, pulling the turkey out of the oven.

This was, hands down, the best turkey I've ever made.  I accidentally cooked it upside down, which might be why - all the juices drained down to the white, breast meat, which turned out phenomenal.  I'm definitely repeating this exact procedure next year.

It takes a long, long time, but separating the white and dark meat and then freezing some of it for later use (like in a soup) helps it from going to waste. 

F***ing awesome.

Kris, continuing to enjoy drinks in front of Christmas movies.

Spinning more Holiday vinyl.  'Tis the Season.

The Cannnonball, on her phone with a dog in her lap.  The usual.

The grumpy old man.

Abby has to periodically record herself doing pom routines to send to her couches.  Not sure why.

Yuletide jams, the morning of Christmas Eve.

Black Santa keeps track for us.

We have a very festive basement this time of year.

I don't think Kris has taken off this robe in a week.

We kept this table stocked for grazing purposes over the course of the last few days. If we did this year-round, we'd all weight 200 lbs.

Decorating gingerbread houses.

Abby's a hot mess.

Abby and her gingerbread house.

The Cannonball and hers.

Watson and I take a look at how the neighborhood's holding up after the blizzard.

I was invited to decorate Christmas cookies with the girls.

My Santa is pissed.

Card games in the basement

Jammin' out to some Bing.

Kris whips up some cheesy potatoes as a side dish.

More Christmas movies.

After three days of being cooped up in the house, we were all getting a little stir-crazy.  Seeing how we had no company in our house for Christmas Eve for once, Kris motivated everyone to attend her church's 5pm Christmas Eve service.  This one was shorter, more informal (see child in pajama pants), and kid-focused - meaning lots of songs, no sermon, and an impromptu Christmas play thrown in for good measure.

As folks came into the church, at the beginning of the service, folks were randomly selected and given plastic bags filled with costume props and were assigned a role in the Christmas play.  Kris was selected to be one of the three Wise Men (hence the crown), and Abby was chosen to be God.  I shit you not.

God, doing some God stuff.

Later on in the play, Kris and two other Wise Men doing stuff.

The entire cast (minus God.)

Once we got back from church, we figured we'd let the girls open up their Christmas Eve presents.

Kris bought me some as well, which she usually does (I always forget to grab her some, so it's an ongoing joke at this point.)

Pretty much.

We snatched up a few cheap t-shirts for the girls that we came across, based on some weird-ass shows they watch.

Knowing that I'd once again drop the ball this Christmas Eve, Kris went out and bought herself pajamas this year.  And even went to the trouble of wrapping it herself.

She's an odd duck, all right.

Kris had coordinated the pajama pants this year so that we all matched for our annual Christmas Eve picture.  We didn't do Christmas Cards this year (we didn't have any ideas for one and kept putting it off to the point where we ran out of time), so this would have to placate the masses this year.

Putting on my second-favorite Christmas movie, A Muppet Family Christmas. I decided to stream it off YouTube this year, as the picture quality was better than the burnt DVD copy I had lying around, plus it was the unedited version, which was like 15 minutes longer (including songs that they had cut from the version I had, which I haven't seen in decades.)  Plus it came with all the original, vintage commercials from the '80s - which are hilarious - like this one from Osh Kosh B'Gosh (remember that place?)

Selfie with Abby.

Winding the kids down (Alayna couldn't have cared less about the movie.)

Greatest. Crossover. Ever.

Touching up nails.  This happens all the time in this house.

Jim Henson was a god among men.

Samson, ready for bed.

After the girls retired to their rooms (we knew they wouldn't be able to fall asleep for a couple hours, but told them not to come out of their rooms until 6am Christmas morning), Kris and I put on National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation - our traditional movie to have on while putting out the stockings and presents.

The Study, in full-blown Holiday mode.  Easily my favorite room in the house.

This is such a good movie - it sucks Chevy Chase had to be such a dick in real life to the point where he stopped making movies like this.

The stockings all stuffed and ready for tomorrow morning.

The blu-ray player was hooked up to the projector downstairs, so since we were lazy and didn't want to re-hook it up in the living room to play Christmas Vacation, we opted to stream it instead.  The streaming app that we had to use to watch the movie had a ridiculous amount of ads during the movie, and they were all for Rice a Roni.  Like, an ad every five minutes, probably.

Kris never makes it far into this movie.

SHITTER WAS FULL

The stage all set for tomorrow morning's grand reveal.

And now for six hours of shitty sleep. . .

- Brian