LEGOS!!!

You know, as a dad to two little girls, I've experienced my fair share of horrible, horrible bullshit.

From Disney Princesses to Disney Fairies, shitty TV shows to webisodes on Netflix, Barbies to My Little Ponies, dress-up outfits to sticker books, there isn't a whole lot of awesomeness in my house.  At least not by my standards.  Sure, once in awhile one of the kids will start getting into something that gives me a small glimmer of hope:  Alayna will occasionally ask to watch Star Wars or Indiana Jones, which leaves me with goosebumps, but those moments, alas, are sadly few and far between.

Indiana Jones just can't compete with Rainbow Dash or Barbie.

Lego Ninjago

We got Alayna this for next week's Easter Basket.

Over the course of the last couple of weeks, however, we've noted a change.  Alayna's always been somewhat into boys shows on Netflix.  She was on-and-off obsessed with the Power Rangers series (a few different shows, too) for nearly two years, and will watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles now and again.  This inclination towards boy shows led to her deciding to check out a show in her Netflix account called Lego Ninjago - a computer-animated series based on Lego ninjas.

Basically a show to sell toys.  Right out of the early 1980s marketing playbook.

Give this kid blonde hair and thirty lbs or so, and that was me.

Now, as you all probably know, I love me some Legos.  I grew up with them, I was obsessed with them, and - frankly - if you sat me down in front of a table with covered with Legos today, you could safely walk away with the understanding that'd I'd zone out and be there for several hours.

They're plastic heroin, and I was convinced that having two girls would forever prevent me from sharing this creative outlet with my offspring.

Not anymore.

The infamous Knights Castle set - I still have most of this.

Alayna's new obsession with this random Lego show prompted me to pull out my old sets from the ol' closet and break them out on the back patio table.  It was a huge hit - both kids took to it instantly.  The girls, of course, have Lego sets already - a few sets from Papa and Nana they received a few months back, along with a basic 'girl'-themed starter tub (or whatever the hell that's called) they got a year or two ago.

Neither kid really took to them at first, but now that there are Lego shows on Netflix, they're suddenly infatuated with the toys.

And this dad's not complaining in the slightest.  Not at all.

It sure beats the hell out of playing Barbies with the kids.

F***ing terrible.

Coincidentally, around the same time Alayna started watching Lego Ninjago, Abby started really getting into Lego Friends - a hugely-popular line of Lego sets aimed towards girls aged 6 - 12.  They, too, have a show on Netflix, but sadly there are only three episodes available.

This means that we're forced to watch the same three episodes over and over and over again.  Every Goddamn day.

The set we bought Abby for Easter.

Still, the silver lining here is that Abby has started playing with her Legos as well, and this opens up the door for Yours Truly to start buying Lego sets for birthdays, Christmases, Bar Mitzvahs, what have you.

I'm not sure how long they're going to be into Legos - with young kids, their obsessions are fleeting - but I'm going to ride this one out as long as I possibly can.

FOR GLORY!!!

- Brian

Summerhood

Hi again, fans.

As the soggy month of July grinds to a halt, here's some more visuals from the Houghs' last couple weeks.

Bam!

Playing in the rain - swapping out swords for umbrellas this time around.

Getting them to put up the Disney Princess umbrellas can be a pain in the ass. . . not surprisingly.

The Cannonball

Abby shows off her Ariel umbrella

Rockin' Hello Kitty boots (those Japanese were on to something. . .)

So the pool - on its third summer of heavy use - finally sprung a leak.  Well, technically it's the same leak from last summer, but, seeing how it's late July and all - and I'll be heading back to school next week for class prep, etc. - we decided to drain the sum'bitch. . .

The kids are going to have about a week of bathtub-level water to splash around in before we put the thing to the curb (the pool itself is only $90 - it's all the accessories that get ya - so we can just buy another one next summer)

Two Power Rangers, armed with Fire Smashers, engage battle with the sinister Mom Monster. . .

The Hough gals suit up for taking their PowerWheel out on the town er, subdivision.

Abby got to go first, but didn't bother to stop to let Alayna jump on.  She also had a tendency of going off-road, and kicked the gas pedal instead of holding it down.  Basically, it took her about five minutes to drive the length of the sidewalk in front of our house.

. . . so we let Alayna take a crack at it.  Turns out she's a pretty good driver.

Hell on wheels.

Rollin' through Ginger Mill

Getting them tooths clean.

Another big fan of Dad's camera obsession. . .

Drawing Power Ranger 'symbols' (some magical crap from the show, I don't know) with bath crayons.  In the show, the symbols are Japanese. . . and I'm not well-versed in Japanese, so I don't know if these are 100% accurate or not.

This'll teach those frickin' kids to stand up in the bathtub. . .

Another stormy sunset over Central Florida. . .

Hawks have really, really taken a shine to our house.  There were four along the fence (two flew away by the time I came back with a camera.)

. . . the swords come out. 

Fighting bad guys in the rain

Dancing around the front of the house, as yet another massive storm comes barreling down on us. . .

Abby utilizes the Virgin Mary's old 'stage.'

Alayna's turn.

Kris shows Abby how to doll herself up. . .

Abby helps Kris out with her eyes. . .

. . . then does her own.

And of course, a three-year-old has to have lipstick.

- Brian

Preach it, Sister

Hi fellas,

You know, I've been meaning to post some of the random crap that comes spewing out of my kids' mouths for some time now.  It happens so much, on a daily basis, that you don't really stop to think about jotting it down.  Rest assured, if I had been doing that from Day One, I'd have a tome to rival War and Peace.

With that in mind, I decided that perhaps, from time to time, I'd collect tidbits of wisdom from my children and group them, by category, for public amusement (and horror. . . also horror).

This time around, I'd like to share with you some of the Cannonball's recent theological musings.  As she gets older, she starting to ask more and more questions about life, death, and what comes next.  Pretty hardcore topics for a chick that just turned five, but hey - at least she's not burning ants in the backyard. . .

Concerning Life After Death:

Alayna: "When you get old, and your skin gets curly, you go to Heaven."
Brian: "That's right."
Alayna: "Does everybody go to Heaven?"
Brian: "Some people do."
Alayna: "Do animals go to Heaven?"
Brian: "Well-"
Alayna: "Dogs go to Heaven.  Like the movie with the girl."
Brian: "Oh yeah, that's -"
Alayna: "You know who's in Heaven?"
Brian: "Who?"
Alayna: "God.  And Jesus."
Brian: "That's right."
Alayna: "And chickens."
Brian: "... what?"
Alayna: "You know, 'cause it rains."


Alayna: "When are you going to Heaven?"
Brian: "Hopefully not for awhile.  When I'm really old."
Alayna: "You're really old now!"

Concerning Jesus Christ:

Brian: "So. . . what'd you learn about in Sunday School today?"
Alayna: "Jesus was doing magic, then he fell on his butt.  Then he bumped his head.  Then the mean boy came and took him.  Then he laid down in his nest.  Then he took him back."

Alayna: "When I turn into a grown up, I'm going to get a Baby Jesus."

Alayna: "Jesus loves us, and he died for us.  When I get old, I'm going to marry him."
Brian: "I can think of a few things wrong with that.  He's in Heav-"
Alayna: "Fine!  When I go to Heaven I'll marry him!"

Concerning God:

Alayna: "You know, God made everything."
Brian: "Oh yeah?"
Alayna: "Yup.  He made animals, and flowers, and boogers.  And Wal-Mart."

Alayna: "God's really strong.  He'g got super big muscles.  Can he beat up the Ninja Turtles?"
Brian: "All four at once?  Yeah, probably."
Alayna: "The Power Rangers?"

Alayna:  "When it rains, God's peeing on people."

- Brian

'Memorial Day,' or 'How the Houghs Sort of Reclaimed Their Yard'

Last time I touched base with you guys, I mentioned how we had set up our pool.

Remember that?

Well, as it turns out, we did discover a small, pin-hole leak in the pool - one that slowly and eventually grew into the size of a quarter.  What prevented the leak from being noticeable before was the fact that it was directly on the bottom of the pool, which meant the water was leaking out very, very slowly.  We knew something was up when, each morning when uncovering the pool, the pool was slightly lower.

Oh yeah, and the ground was soaked.

Not awesome.

'Soaked' doesn't really do the situation justice, though.  Our yard was soggily saturated with water (that better?)- anywhere you stepped, muddy water rose up through the grass to drown your feet.  How much of this was the pool leak and how much was the broken sprinkler line running from the exterior waterline to one of the side yard sprinkler heads remains to be determined (yes, it's been one of those summers so far).

Summer's First Hero.

Long story short, I purchased an underwater, vinyl patch kit off Amazon and, one day after work, jumped in the pool and fixed the sum'bitch.  Meanwhile, Kris ordered a plumber to come out and - thank God - the line leak to our sprinkler system wasn't anything serious.


Now summer was on.

Making cupcakes for Abby's class, commemorating her 'technical' birthday.  (We like doping other people's kids up on sugar whenever possible.)

A beautiful, gay rainbow, following our daily, afternoon, torrential downpour.

Classroom cupcakes.

Remember this Don Bluth gem? All Dogs Go to Heaven has been a daily staple these last few days, which I'd take in a second over the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. . .

Abby opening presents from Grandma and Papa John (this, I believe, is a Periwinkle Dress)

Skypin'

With the pool repaired and the levels in good shape, we've been getting some serious action out of the pool this last week or so. . .

Both girls have gotten a lot better with swimming on their own. . .

This Memorial Day weekend was definitely spent outdoors.  The weather down here was awesome (if not hotter than Hades), and after many hours of yard work - toiling with weeds, overgrown tall grass behind the house, insects, and even pit bulls (seriously) - we spent the majority of the day in the pool.

The greatest thing about letting the kids swim in the pool is that it wears them out like nobody's business. . . which makes putting them down for naps a total breeze.

Enjoying an afternoon pipe, having spent the morning lounging on my newest toy. . .

The S.S. Nap Time.  Perfect for sunbathing while the kids are napping and the sun is at its zenith.

Matching sunglasses.  Not sure if that was planned or not.

In closing, here's a picture of an abandoned, black, baby doll Alayna spotted on Orange Blossom Trail on the way home from Sunchild the other day.  Rest in Peace, kid.

- Brian