Collierpalooza

Welcome back, readers

Today we attended what, in years past, has been the biggest party of the year for everyone in our Tribe: Collierpalooza.

The last few years, this annual Memorial Day Party, heralding the Dawn of Summer, has grown in size to eclipse all other parties this local friend group of ours throws. Even larger, traditional parties - like our Halloween parties and the Sheahan Christmas parties - pale in comparison. Collier goes all-in on these annual bashes of his, operating multiple grills, ordering a bounce house for kids, hiring living entertainment, facilitating multiple yard games (Cornhole, Jenga, etc.), and putting out a spread of food that could feed a small town.

The diciest element to this yearly tradition is the weather. Late May is a toss-up - some years we've been blessed with July-like weather, where it's sunny in the high 70s or low 80s and everyone is soaking up the sun in shorts. Other years, the colder weather of late April or early May requires everyone to walk around in jeans and hoodies. Then there's the on-again/off-again rain you have to contend with, as this time of year is notorious for raining for weeks without letting up. 

Great for one's grass, sure, but not ideal for an outdoor party.

This year, unfortunately, we were hit with absolutely horrendous weather. It started to rain in the late morning and didn't let up until about twenty minutes before the party started. This brought the temperature down into the low/mid-60s, and everything was wet. A couple of the guys went over to Collier's in the late afternoon as the rain was letting up to help him set everything up quickly at the last minute, and fortunately by the time the party officially started at 5pm Collier's backyard was ready to go.

Still, on account of the far-from-ideal weather, turnout for this year's annual bash was considerably lower than usual. Lots of folks were out of town, and others just didn't turn out due to the lackluster conditions outside. Everyone still had a good time, sure, but it was definitely a more laid-back, low-key vibe this year compared to previous years. As such, and which you'll see you for yourself here in a sec, there's a lot less pics and video to show off this time around.

So I leave you now with what ended up being Collierpalooza '26. Enjoy. . .

As folks began to roll in around 5pm, the initial food spread was laid out on the Colliers' back deck and the man himself was manning two grills (hotdogs and brats on the Weber and burgers on the Blackstone.)

Folks loading up plates.

As always, Collier had set up multiple tables and canopies along the side of the deck so folks had a place to eat.

Women and children prefer to eat at tables, while the dads just kinda hover around the food table eating where they stand.

As the first round of plates were finished off, folks migrated into the backyard to start off a series of Cornhole games.

Tom and Mitch (probably talking about golf.)

Abby, Ella and Logan showed up about a half an hour later (once they had finished getting ready, of course.)

The canopy in the far back there was the christened 'man hangout area,' equipped with a kegorator full of Miller Lite and a few standing tables.

The view from the man tent.

The stage, board, and fire pit area.

The previous artists that Collier had reserved in the previous years were all booked (or otherwise declined the offer to return, not sure why - I think we're a fun bunch.) He ended up booking a duo of female singers that perform with guitars, but one of them had to cancel at the last minute. This left us with one chick who performed angry lesbian music from the 90s all night - far from ideal.

Cornhole continues. . .

The older kids here at this table were playing some sorta game (I didn't walk over there to check it out, though - sorry.)

Collier's kegorator is unfortunately a bust - after multiple attempts to dial it in over the course of half a dozen parties since last summer, he's never been able to get the temperature cool enough, so he's going to end up junking it. Cory offered to bring his over instead (shown here) which worked flawlessly throughout the course of the evening. . . until we polished the quarter-barrel off.

Collier and Erik

Once the adults had finished their initial games, the Hough girls teamed up against their respective boyfriends in a game. . .

Logan tosses a bag.

They need some practice. It's inexcusable they're not better at this, considering we have boards at home they can practice on.

Some of the spread (in hindsight I should have removed the foil off these dishes so you can see everything, but I didn't feel like putting that much effort into this.)

More of the spread.

The battle rages on.

Mitch stands by, giving pointers ('cause it's Mitch.)

Big E, The Pro, and The Colonel.

The angry lesbian music continues as Collier lights the fire for the evening.

Hanging out with Mitch and Tom in the dude tent.

As the evening dragged on, and the temperature started to drop, folks began to gravitate around the fire.

Broke out my newly-acquired Rancid hoodie for this evening (the skull on the back is from their 1998 album, Life Won't Wait.)

At this point, as it started to get darker out, kids either zeroed in on the bounce house or else went indoors, leaving the adults to hang out around the fire.

Folks kept piling wood on this thing, so we had a solid funeral pyre going for like three hours or so.

Sebastian and the Cannonball.

Cory had wasted an entire case of Miller Lite, dumping it all out and not drinking any of it (not sure why) in order to create 'cups' for Collier's keg. This little gadget here open the top of a standard beer can without creating sharp edges (I'm guessing due to those little doo-hickies in the center), so you can drink keg Miller Lite out of a Miller Lite can. Kind of a cool, little toy.

Ella definitely being a Fifth Wheel, here.

Mees gets a couples pic of ours kids and their respective male counterparts.

Cannonball group selfie.

Later on in the evening, this is how we closed out the night for the last couple hours.

Adding even more wood to the fire (Collier was starting to get nervous we'd go through his entire reserve of firewood this evening, and the way Cory kept adding wood to this thing you'd think that was the plan all along.)

Overseeing fire safety protocols.

Took a pic of this rager to send to Morgan, who, by far, builds the biggest fires of this group (they decided to stay back this evening and hang out around the house, so they didn't turn out this year.)

Sebastian grills up some more brats over the fire (this kid ate, like, eight dinners and was still hungry - I don't know how his parents keep him and his twin brother fed.)

So there you go, gang - that's this year's Collierpaooza. Kris and I took off around 11:30pm or so, seeing how I had to be up somewhat early the next morning for the Midland Memorial Day Parade, which Erik and I would once again be marching in a long with the Midland Freemasons. Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment. . .

- Brian

The Soggy Month of April

Hey kids,

April lasted, oh, about eight weeks this year. Not nearly as grueling as it has been in previous years, but still a drawn-out, arduous slog. My students this year are probably the best group I've had in a decade, so that definitely helped my morale (last year's bunch made me want to take my own life, they were horrible), and that helped the month out for sure, because Spring tends to be the absolute worst time of year for student misbehavior. 

No, work hasn't been too bad this month, but the temperature swings certainly didn't help things out. It rained almost every day this month, which is par for the course obviously ("April Showers. . ." and all that), but we had a week of upper 70s weather that teased us into thinking that it was far later in the calendar than we actually were. Then, when temperatures plummeted back down into the usual 50s/60s, it felt like when you think it's Thursday during a work week but it's actually Tuesday. . . just in monthly calendar terms.

Not ideal.

We didn't do a hell of a lot this month, that being said. We wrapped up Spring Break with the purchasing of Abby's first car and a once-in-a-lifetime concert checking out Bob motherf***ing Bob Dylan in person. Kris went to Florida with a group of the wives for an extended weekend. Easter was a relatively mild affair again this year, seeing how we no longer are obligated to do all the bullshit that we had to do for the girls when they were younger (elaborate Easter Egg scavenger hunts and all that nonsense, etc.) Our local friend group didn't do a hell of a lot this month either, since folks were pretty busy with kids' sports (and most of the guys' activities this month were centered around golf and I personally despise that sport.)

So yeah - not a whole hell of a lot to share out this time around, but May's installment will be chock-full of end-of-the-school-year insanity and pre-summer celebrating. Stay tuned for that one, gang.

Anyway, here's how the Houghs rode out the four months that was April this year. Enjoy. . .

On the first of the month, Kris and I drove down to Alma to pick up a car for Abby - a 2014 Kia Soul with a reasonable amount of miles under its belt. Kris and I test drove it up US-127 for a few miles to make sure it ran well, and we stopped off at a gas station to take a few pics (like this one) to send on to Kris' best friend Kim's husband, Matt, who works on cars and knows them inside and out. He approved of this year/make/model, so we were ready to pull the trigger back at the dealership.

Kris, playing around with the backseats a bit. The car was in great shape, aside from the rear Kia emblem needing to be replaced (that's seriously it.) It was an old church lady's car, so it still smells like old church lady a bit, but a few weeks of Abby and her perfume should clear that right up.

The salesman requested a pic of us with the car to post to the dealership's Facebook page (like they always do.)

We were home by the late afternoon, and we had to get a pic of our cluttered driveway (and apparently we only own blacks in this family.)

Sending a pic to Abby, who was still stuck at work. 

Speak of the Devil. . .

Kris drove the new car up to Biggby so that Abby could check it out and actually drive it home. She was pretty pumped.

The next day, Abby and this friend of hers, driving around somewhere.

The Thursday of Spring Break, Yours Truly and some of the Kings that were still in town for the week decided to head out to Auburn and have some food and beers at The Duel - one of our favorite, local dive bars.

Mitch, Erik, and Lonnie tearing into some appetizers.

Yes, the communal urinal is still there. Frickin' disgusting.

Alayna spent another afternoon sanding off the paint of this non-functioning water pump in our backyard garden. She has bold ambitions for the Watson Memorial Garden back there, we'll see if they come to fruition this summer. . .

On Good Friday, it was finally time for Kris, Abby and I to check off a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see THE Bob Dylan in concert.

(Screenshot this pic off of my Instagram feed.)

The concert was held at the Dow Event Center in Saginaw, which was pretty convenient for us - only took us like 20 minutes to get there and find parking.

Kris wanted a selfie of us in front of the tour banner once we cleared the security checkpoints.

Bob Dylan is notorious for banning phones from his concerts, so we knew going in that we'd be having to surrender them at some point. Upon clearing Security they had employees working the show lock up concertgoers' phones in these little sleeves attached to lanyards, so you technically had your phone still on you but you couldn't access it. We found our seats right away, but still had about a half an hour before the show started, so decided to stop by a 'phones permitted' area right outside the theater doors so an employee there could unlock our phones sleeves. Kris and Abby got theirs unlocked right away, but I had stopped off to use the restroom first and by the time I rejoined them I got stuck behind a couple other people who, for whatever reason, couldn't seem to get their phones unlocked. Kris thought it was hilarious how annoyed I looked while waiting in line, so she snapped this pic.

Kris asked a stranger to take another pic of us before the show in the designated 'phones allowed' area.

So no pictures to share of the concert itself, obviously, but here's the set list for the evening. I recognized, like, three of his songs, but that was to be expected 'cause he has a track record of playing a lot of his new material (which isn't great) and whatever he wants (which varies according to his mood.) Same could be said for the entirety of his show, honestly: he came out on stage without speaking to the audience (he didn't throughout the rest of the evening, either), without an opening act at all, and sat himself down behind a keyboard. No announcement from anyone, just kicked off into the first song without fanfare. Then he'd flip his sheet music and launch straight into the next song, without missing a beat. He was wearing a hooded sweatshirt and sunglasses, and remained seated behind that keyboard of his the whole night, never picking up a guitar or standing up. . . but he did break out his famous harmonica a few times, which was so good it gave you chills. Thankfully his voice was really, really good, so it felt like seeing the legend and not some super old guy dying on stage (which, you know, he is.) So yeah - not one of the better concerts I've been to, but we were all really happy with it. I mean, c'mon - BOB DYLAN.

Alayna took a pic of my hair after I got out of the shower one evening after a session at the gym (teenagers enjoy making fun of everything and everyone.) There's nothing wrong with my hair, it's sexy as always.

My March wrap-up from Amazon Music was a little off from the usual. I listened to a shit-load of Hives in the weeks leading up to and following the concert I went to last month (because, like I said earlier, it was seriously the best show I've seen from a band, bar none.) Kris had Flogging Molly one day back around St. Patrick's Day while cleaning the house, so that ranked a lot higher than it should have. The Brandi Carlisle? That's also Kris, some new artist she's been super into lately, so that makes sense. Still, usually her music selections don't factor into my algorithms 'cause we have separate sub-accounts with the Family Plan. If these outliers weren't on here this month, I'd probably have more of my usual bands up there, alongside Rancid and Bouncing Souls (which are in my Top Five nearly every month), like NOFX, Bad Religion, Pennywise, etc.

Kris took a pic of the Cannonball snuggling with the dog on that Saturday at the tail-end of Spring Break.

Seriously.  All he does around here.

Later that night, Kris sat our their Easter Baskets, which was filled with beauty crap from Ulta, tanning products and accessories, towels, etc. - they're all good to go now for when it's warm enough to soak up that sun in our backyard.

Easter Morning. The dog was super into this, probably expecting treats like he gets from his own stocking on Christmas morning.

Both kids went through their baskets fairly quickly, as he were kinda in a rush to get around for the usual church service at 10am (Kris' church, First United Methodist, combined the 9am traditional and 11am contemporary services, and the place is back to normal in terms of attendance, following a slump of about five years we're numbers were down.)

In the afternoon, Alayna had to go in to Taco Bell for a shift, and her and some coworkers decided to make the most of working on a holiday. 

Abby, too, had to go in to work that afternoon, but she clearly wasn't feeling as festive about it.

Kris realized she hadn't gotten a pic yet of Abby posed alongside her new car, so she had to remedy that.

Super expensive, designer heels Alayna found on Depop (a shopping app where you can score used clothing from other users) for like $200. No idea where she thinks she's gonna wear something like this, but hell - whatever floats her boat I guess.

Abby and Logan, doing some trending weird-as-f*** dance off TikTok.

She found this dress at the store and has been talking about it ALL MONTH. She wanted us to buy it for her for Graduation next month, so we had to tell her that it's a little too formal for a high school graduation. She's determined to go back and buy it, just to have in her closet for when the need arises.

Samson, hanging out with Kris and the girls down in the basement one evening.

Abby and the MHS Varsity Pom Team went out to one of the local elementary schools to put on a show for the students. . . for some reason.

Performing at some kinda school assembly.

Kris and Alayna, taking a break from Prom shopping to get some massage chair use at the Fashion Square Mall in Saginaw.

I walked away from my Chromebook one day at work, leaving it by the podium at the back of my room (where I'll often teach from), and one of my students changed my wallpaper. The running joke this year is that I'm old. . . despite being the second-youngest teacher on my team, and objectively looking pretty young for my age. It's all in good fun, this is seriously like the best group of students I've ever taught.

Abby and Ella, following some kinda pom workout.

Victoria asked if Kris and I would watch Julian one Saturday while she was at work (her usual sitter fell through and she was desperate.) Like you've seen in the past, we've done this before on multiple occasions, so we were fine with it. We had him outside with us for a good chunk of the day while we started tackling yard work (taking advantage of the warm weather and sun.)

Not sure what the pig did to deserve this tragic end. . .

Sorta helping.

Not at all helping.

Alayna and a friend of hers from Taco Bell, driving around town later that evening.

Samson thoroughly enjoys chasing squirrels up the trees in our backyard. Then he'll stand guard at the base of the tree and glare up at them, not moving a muscle.

Still standing guard.

Another DnD session with the Dewdz, later that evening. BP will be joining our party the next time around -  we're just waiting for a natural spot in Russell's storyline for the introduction of his character (a Sorcerer) to make sense, and he needs help from the more experienced players with finalizing a few number details and spells and crap (all stuff to which I'm oblivious.) He hung on our video chat for about twenty minutes as we kicked off the evening's session, just to see how it all worked, before eventually signing off.

This session started off in another cavern (wherein our characters are still fleeing from a prison and trying to get back to the surface), and were thrown headlong into a fight straight out of the gate. 

We've been using AI to create images from the story as we move on - I'm keeping an illustrated journal of our exploits in order to preserve them, it's been pretty fun.

Russell's video setup is in a heated side room of his garage, and his Wifi signal is spotty sometimes, so he'll cut the video feed from time to time in order to preserve his bandwidth.

AI came up with this picture of our four characters and the six NPCs we're traveling around with (and the giant lizard we named Bomar and use as a pack mule - don't ask.) My dude is the thief character breaking into the chest.

The next day, Abby had her hair lightened over at Danielle's. She's been wanting to do that for awhile, and figured this was a good time to do it what with Prom being right around the corner.

Abby and this other kid from the MHS newspaper (The Focus) were teamed up together for an opinion piece on William Shakespeare being taught in school, with one of them being pro-Shakespeare and the other being anti-Shakespeare. 

Take a wild guess who was 'Pro' and who was 'Anti'. . .

. . . what?

We lost power during a pretty bad thunderstorm one night, and the next morning upon waking up I saw that we had a little flooding in our storage room. The sump had stopped working due to the power going out for a couple hours in the middle of the night, but fortunately the water flooded from the sump directly into a nearby drain, which saved our finished basement from being destroyed. 

Again, all those plumbing renovations the City funded for our street and house (like our free, fancy sump upgrade and all the new plumbing) appear to be working just fine. We're gonna invest in one of those battery backups that hook up to your sump so it kicks on when it senses the power going out, just to play it safe.

Alayna is graduating next month, and her Open House is slotted for June 6th, so this month we had to print off all the invites and get those out in the mail. She decided she wanted to design her own invites, so this is what she came up with.

Collier did an awesome job on these photos, that's for damn sure.

Abby's been slowly adding flair to her new car. Not as hardcore into it as Alayna was, but I don't think anyone goes as all-in to things as that one does.

Abby, live on location at Midland High School, in. . . the girls' bathroom.

My students hijacked my computer again. Gotta love teenagers. . .

One Friday after work, we drove over to the Bay City Ice Arena (or whatever it's called) to watch Sophie in some ice skating exhibition she takes part in. Kinda like a dance recital, just, you know, on skates.

Abby was working, but the Cannonball came with us to show support (the Larsons always come out for our kids' stuff, so we try and return the favor when we're able.)

My coworker sent me this pic over the weekend - her son (a former student of mine from years ago) is enrolling at my old alma mater for Engineering, and nowadays they lump similarly-majored students together in the same dorms. For Engineering these days, students are assigned to MY old stomping ground, Ackley Hall. I just hope he makes it up to the top floor (a.k.a. The Penthouse.)

Falling asleep sitting up. If there's a lazier dog in the continental United States, I have yet to see it.

Kris' flowers, coming in full force this Spring (along with a shitload of grass. . . and weeds.)

My dad and step-mom recently vacationed down in Tennessee, visiting my stepbrother Bryan and my nephew, Bradley, and also getting a stay in around Gatlinburg. While he was down there he made sure to swing by Smoky Mountain Knife Works to get a pic with the legendary sign (I'll be sure to do the same when we go down there ourselves in June. . .)

Alayna gets her hair touched up over at the Larsons' one day after school, in preparation for Prom (coming up in a matter of weeks.)

My hall pass was broken a couple weeks ago while a Substitute Teacher was watching my room, so my kids have been taking turns making new bathroom passes for my classroom. I'm kinda cool with it.

The new generation has recently started using 'Oi Oi Oi' (it's from some viral reel or video off of TikTok or Instagram or whatever some bullshit.) These little a-holes have ZERO idea of what 'oi' means, or Punk Rock at all - total cultural appropriation, folks.

Another month, another issue of Midland High's The Focus, hot off the presses (Abby has been promoted to an Editor, so, as a sophomore, that's pretty damn impressive.)

The Focus staff.

Seriously with these students of mine. . .

I screenshot a pic of of Life360 showing Kris in Florida (when her and some of The Real Housewives of Midland vacationed down by Daytona Beach.)

While Kris was away that weekend, and I was settling into another DnD session with my old college buddies, Alayna went out with some of her coworkers from Taco Bell, where they fell into an impromptu game of Gaga Ball at good ol' Chestnut Hill Elementary.

BP is now an active member of our party - his character was introduced and he hit the ground running and Matt threw us headlong into immediate combat (his Internet was still acting up, so he had to kill his video feed to cut down on the bandwidth again.)

Zack discovered that he can draw on top of our map during gameplay. Shit got weird REAL quick. . .

While we were playing, Alayna had parted ways with most of her Taco Bell coworkers but her and Sara did me a solid and picked up Abby from her shift at Biggby Coffee so I wouldn't have to take a break from my uber-nerdy hangout with my college buddies.

The Sorcerer, The Thief, The Warlock, The Fighter, and The Green Screen.

Attacked by giant purple fungi (this fight was weird.)

AI generated a pic of our entire party - the characters of us college dewdz, plus the NPCs - with my dude front and center (AI made my rapier look weird, but whatever.)

Alayna and Sara ran up to McDonalds for some late night food while I was still logged in to our session, and they took the opportunity to take a shit-load of pics while they were there. Not sure why McDonald's had this watermelon balloon arch thing going on. . .

Of course they made their way into the PlayZone. . .

(We should have made these her Senior Pictures, honestly. . .)

Looking pensive.

Let's just hope this doesn't end up part of her eventual career.

Still rocking and rolling, four hours in.

A time lapse video of Abby practicing in Orchestra one afternoon.

The Cannonball and Sebastian celebrated their One Year Anniversary this month, and decided to get all fancy with it, dressing up to the nines and hitting up The One Eighteen, one of Midland's fancier restaurants (which Kris and I have frequented a few times.)

The Cannonball's steak. She's a big fan of steak.

Post-dinner cruise.

In closing, here's a shot of what I do for about six to eight hours per week. Anything to maintain my current body, gang - gotta fit in the Medium shirts and 32x32 pants.

- Brian