More from the Holiday Season

Seasons Greetings, Cyberspace!

Everyone in this house has their eyes set on Dec. 20th - that's the last day of school before Christmas Vacation for 80% of the household (sorry, Kris.)  As we all run through gauntlet that is the last week of waking up early, dealing with kids (or teachers), or - in Watson's case - being stuck in a crate all day, here's a little snapshot of what's been going on around here lately.

Smurf it:

Suckin' in a Winter Wonderland.  Detroit back to being Detroit.

Abby shows affection by grabbing the closest living thing next to her in a headlock and squeezing the life out of it.

The Lions can't play in snow?!  They live in MICHIGAN!

On my way out the door the other morning, I stopped into the girls' bedroom to say goodbye to Abby, and this is what I found.  Someone decided to 'put her makeup on.'

I can't turn around in my house without seeing this.

Time for this year's batch of Christmas Cookies. . .

If this dough looks all jacked up, it's because we used wheat flour (having cut enriched flour from our diets, like a bunch of frickin' hipsters. . .)

Nothing hotter than a woman baking in the kitchen. . .

Abby strikes a pose with her umbrella. . .

. . . no idea why these are open inside the house, though.  Apparently these chicks aren't superstitious.

Alayna sits down for a Q & A session with some of her stuffed animals while waiting for the cookies to bake. . .

Guess how often dads get to take a nap around here?  Did you guess 'never'?  'Cause that was the right answer, if you did.

'Decorate one, eat one' seems to be the unofficial rule around here.

The apparent goal for my daughters while decorating Christmas cookies was to squeeze as many chocolate chips onto one, solitary cookie as possible.  They both got pretty good at it.

Yes, it's what it looks like.

MORE CHOCOLATE CHIPS!!!

Nothing says 'Christmas' like Smurf Blue.

In you face, Fox News!

. . . next year I think we'll make sure we have all the right colors of frosting before we start making cookies.  Oh yeah, and sprinkles.

Watson claims his first victim from the Hough Family Stuffed Animal Trove. . .

One of my favorite beers - Founders Breakfast Stout - now available at Knightly Spirits (my favorite beer store, conveniently located right around the corner from my house. . .)

You didn't see this. . .

A raccoon was cornered up in a palm tree at my school the other day.  As if our middle schoolers weren't already distracted enough as it is with Christmas vacation coming up and everything.  Throwing a rabid animal on campus was the last thing any of us needed. . .

The Merry Irishman - got this recipe from my brother, Chris.  Not too bad, if you follow the directions of the recipe, but I ended up cutting the amount of peppermint schnapps and upping the whiskey (I'd rather taste Tullamore Dew than candy cane, personally.)

Watson assumes his usual position while riding in the car. . .

Another evening spent battling kids to finish their dinner at the kitchen table.   Thug life.

Working on homework (Alayna's had quite a bit of this year so far in Kindergarten, but fortunately most of it is really easy for her, since she's somewhat ahead of the rest of her class. . .)

Non-Christmas Holiday Stress - had to replace my oil pan after noticing a bad oil spot on our driveway.  $300 later, I have a fancy new (well, technically used) oil pan.  Surprisingly enough, this was not on my Christmas List this year.

Grandma sent a festive toilet seat cover for the girls (at least I assumed it was for the girls - it may have been for me.)

Hanging out in my Study, about to battle it out in yet another game of Candyland. . . 

We've been piling all the Christmas presents in this room, as the girls are seldom in it.  All the gifts from 'Santa' - as well as some of the bigger, more-obvious ones - are hidden away in the closet, though the girls are pretty good about not snooping around them.  This may be the last year we can stockpile them in plain, open sight, though. . .

This is Abby's absolute favorite thing to do.  Consequently, I play this games about 4 - 5 times a day.  99% of the time, Abby wins.

BING!!!

- Brian

A Love/Hate Relationship with Potty Power

I like to credit myself with having impeccable taste when it comes to most things. I also like to assume that if the world thought the same way about most things as I do, it'd be an overall better place to live.

Perhaps you scoff.

Regardless, my taste in 'what's watchable' is generally accepted by others as 'legit,' or 'right on the money.' Hence, you readers out there in cyberspace should lend an ear (preferably two) to what I'm about to tell you:

Potty Power is a soul-crushing, twenty minutes of pure hell.

Like I said before, it just may be the worst twenty two minutes you could spend in front of a television. Then again, I could never bring myself to watch more than three minutes of Glee without wanting to gash my own wrists apart, so I could be wrong there.

The production value of this children's instructional DVD is somewhere around the local, community college audio/video department's daily operating budget. In fact, I'm pretty sure Potty Power was produced by some sophomore for his midterm film assignment.

If so, he probably got a 'C,' with 'Do you have a soul?!' slathered across the top of his attached paper in bright, red Sharpie.

But let's get back to why I'm talking about this horrible, horrible program in the first place. There's a reason why I've been watching this DVD every day for the last few weeks: Alayna has been on the verge of using a toilet (instead of her pants) for the last few months, and we've driven ourselves mad trying various strategies to help drive the concept of 'its better to pee in a sanitary receptacle instead of in your drawers' home.

Potty Power, as it turns out, is the Holy Grail of potty training:





As much as I hate to admit it, the shit works. And it works really, really good. The Cannonball voluntarily uses the bathroom whenever she has to go, without asking or announcing (unless she's outside of the home), and only wears a diaper now if she's going to bed at night. That's it. After months and months of random techniques, tricks, bribes, rewards, peer pressure, and perhaps even a little degree of condescension (I get annoyed with kids crapping their pants, what can I say), Potty Power ends up being the end-all, be-all in potty training.

I hate to endorse something so horrifying, but, if you're a parent and you're willing to subject yourself to twenty two minutes of pure hell on a daily basis for a couple weeks, you'll have a potty-trained toddler. You can purchase it via Amazon here.

Trust me. I'm awesome.

- Brian

Tub Probs

Hi folks.

Well, once again, something is messed up with our house. Since we moved in, we've endured several setbacks with appliances, services, and the like - some of which I've disclosed before in previous posts. Some of these were minor, and some were somewhat of a big deal.

The most recent dilemma to befall the Hough clan, alas, is somewhat of a big deal. The bathtub in our guest/kids' bathroom, for whatever reason, had a leak in it (or something, I don't know - I'm not a plumber). We only used it a few times before we started noticing that something was wrong. Whenever we'd drain the tub after bathing the Cannonball, the floor near the entry way of the Man Room would get wet. At first, I thought I spilled a drink on my way in/out of my hallowed sanctuary (crazier things have happened, for sure), but soon enough we managed to put two and two together and realize - with no small degree of horror - that the two occurrences were directly related to one another.

Here's what happened: whenever the tub would drain, water would seep into the floor in the adjoining hall linen closet and soak into the carpet of the Man Room. As mold has long been a scourge of mine - a vehement tormentor of mine for years - we knew that we couldn't let this disaster to continue. When we had a maintenance wiz (and I use this term with no small dose of sarcasm) come out and evaluate the situation for us, he concluded (over the course of a week or so) that he had to remove a crapload of tile and strip out the carpet in the Man Room in order to eleviate the problem.

Well, we did the ol' 'leave a door key under the welcome mat' thing for about a week and a half, and gave this guy and his unknown colleague(s) free run of our house in order to fix the problem. Eventually, after I had moved out half of my Man Room and we abandoned that bathroom completely for over a week, we were finally able to bathe our kid without bathing my carpet. Which was nice.

So... to date, we have had fixed or replaced: dryer ducts in the attic, several window blinds, a few window screens, a dryer, a fence, practically every light bulb in the house, a toilet, a refrigerator, and a bathtub.

...man, houses rule.

- Brian