A Love/Hate Relationship with Potty Power

I like to credit myself with having impeccable taste when it comes to most things. I also like to assume that if the world thought the same way about most things as I do, it'd be an overall better place to live.

Perhaps you scoff.

Regardless, my taste in 'what's watchable' is generally accepted by others as 'legit,' or 'right on the money.' Hence, you readers out there in cyberspace should lend an ear (preferably two) to what I'm about to tell you:

Potty Power is a soul-crushing, twenty minutes of pure hell.

Like I said before, it just may be the worst twenty two minutes you could spend in front of a television. Then again, I could never bring myself to watch more than three minutes of Glee without wanting to gash my own wrists apart, so I could be wrong there.

The production value of this children's instructional DVD is somewhere around the local, community college audio/video department's daily operating budget. In fact, I'm pretty sure Potty Power was produced by some sophomore for his midterm film assignment.

If so, he probably got a 'C,' with 'Do you have a soul?!' slathered across the top of his attached paper in bright, red Sharpie.

But let's get back to why I'm talking about this horrible, horrible program in the first place. There's a reason why I've been watching this DVD every day for the last few weeks: Alayna has been on the verge of using a toilet (instead of her pants) for the last few months, and we've driven ourselves mad trying various strategies to help drive the concept of 'its better to pee in a sanitary receptacle instead of in your drawers' home.

Potty Power, as it turns out, is the Holy Grail of potty training:





As much as I hate to admit it, the shit works. And it works really, really good. The Cannonball voluntarily uses the bathroom whenever she has to go, without asking or announcing (unless she's outside of the home), and only wears a diaper now if she's going to bed at night. That's it. After months and months of random techniques, tricks, bribes, rewards, peer pressure, and perhaps even a little degree of condescension (I get annoyed with kids crapping their pants, what can I say), Potty Power ends up being the end-all, be-all in potty training.

I hate to endorse something so horrifying, but, if you're a parent and you're willing to subject yourself to twenty two minutes of pure hell on a daily basis for a couple weeks, you'll have a potty-trained toddler. You can purchase it via Amazon here.

Trust me. I'm awesome.

- Brian