A Forced March for Sugar

Happy All Hallows Eve, gangsters.

. . . or whatever it's called.  I don't know.

I've never been one to really put a lot of stock into the back story concerning Halloween; I don't honestly care that much about it.  It's pumpkins, cheap costumes, and sugar - big whoop.  I'm sure at one point in time, a thousand years ago, there was a great festival around the event, and lots of naked dancing and virgin-sacrificing was to be had, but around here - in the Ginger Mill subdivision - we're short on both naked dancers and chicks who haven't been laid yet who agree to be knifed for a pumpkin.

(however that worked back in the day)

What we do have, friends, is a crapload of candy.

With that said, commence Halloween Trick or Treating 2012.  ENGAGE:

I picked up the girls from Sunchild around 5pm, and quickly force-fed them dinner in order to begin the costume suit-up process.  Trick or Treating kicked off at 7pm, and we wanted to get as much candy harvesting as possible in with the girls before they dropped dead from exhaustion. . .

Unfortunately, the pumpkins that we had carved with Papa and Nana - FOUR DAYS AGO - were already beginning to rot.  They were filled with mold and falling apart, so we were unable to light them. . . despite having stored them outside on the patio.

Yet another reason why I hate mold.  F*** you, Mold.

Kris had just gotten off of work, so unfortunately she didn't have time to get into costume for Trick or Treating

The round-up begins. . .

Dorothy, Strawberry Shortcake, and Kris.

Abby checks out her plunder.

Checking up on Toto, who lost his home in order to make room for candy. . .

Dorothy's progress

About a twenty minutes into Trick or Treating, Alayna started to grow tired and began riding in the wagon. . .

. . .Abby, on the other hand, was motivated by the prospect of copious amounts of sugar and soldiered through.

Hot wheels.

Strawberry Shortcake.  Still pumped.

Dad's turn to haul two lazy-ass children. . .

(by the way - this year, I went as a badass.)

These kids were dead on their feet after 42 minutes of Trick-or-Treating.  I blame this on their weak, Farwellian blood.

. . . though the offer of eating some of their hard-won candy seemed to keep them up a little while longer.  Go figure.

(I think Kris is wasted here. . .)

SUGAR

- Brian

Halloween (er, "Fall Fest") at Sunchild

What's up, fellas,

Well, Yours Truly got to take another day off of work today, bringing my 'days off' this week to three: professional in-service day on Monday, Jury Duty on Wednesday, and - *queue fanfare* the 2012 Sunchild Academy Halloween Fall Fest Parade today.

Boy howdy do I ever love two-day work weeks.

Anyway, I drove up to Sunchild around 9am, armed to the teeth with cameras and camcorders.

Observe:

I showed up a little early, so I killed time in Abby's classroom with some other parents as the kids did 'Circle Time.'

(Abby's not very big on participating.)

Abby kinda freaked out with me in the room, and ended up spending the next hour or two clinging to me like stink on a hobo.

Strawberry Shortcake, participating in a classroom photo op.

This is about the best one we managed to wrangle out of these kids. . .

The Wicked Witch leads her minions forward.  I decided to camp out in Abby's room for the parade (as Abby wasn't about to let me leave soon anyway).  Every class at Sunchild, according to the plan, would each take turns parading through each of the other rooms, seeing how they all connect to one another. 

The Cannonball spotted us as the Challengers parade through. . .

Watching the parade. . .

Strawberry Shortcake and Dorothy

After the parade, we hung out in Alayna's classroom and killed time before the Halloween party kicked off. . .

Abby ransacks the Challengers kitchen. . .

Impromptu Zumba session?  Why not.

Circle Time with Ms. Virginia, Alayna's VPK teacher.

Beginning of the Feeding Frenzy. . .

Healthy snacks.

I seized the opportunity while the kids were all busy stuffing their faces to sneak out and head back home.  I had a crap-load of lesson planning waiting for me, and for a two-hour Halloween shin-dig, I had to justify taking a full day off of work somehow.  Being an adult sucks.

- Brian

Not-Quite Halloweenishness at Osprey Park

Happy Mid-October!

Time for. . . Halloween?

Yeah, around here it is.

Hunter's Creek decided to jump the gun early this year.  I'm not sure why, I didn't ask them.  All I know is that the folks at Osprey Park - in their infinite wisdom - decided to throw their annual Halloween bash this week.

October 13th!  I'm thinking maybe there was a clerical typo of some kind and the numbers were switched around and nobody bothered to check it until it was too late.

(. . . and, of course, hilarity ensues.)

Anyway, we had no choice but to throw the kids into their unfinished Halloween costumes, load them up into Tactical Family Transport Vehicle, and set off for our annual excursion to Hunter Creek's Osprey Park for Halloween Fest '12 (whatever the hell they're calling it these days.)

Behold:

Kris wrangles the Cannonball's Judy Garland pigtails.

Abby channels Flava Flav en route to Osprey. . .

A bounce house with Disney Princesses?!  That's like heroin for our kids.

Abby aptly IDs some of her homegirls. . .

The Trick-or-Treating this year was nothing short of pathetic.  Only a few vendors were giving out candy, and they were all jammed into the same stretch of sidewalk, which created a terrible bottleneck in traffic flow.  AND, to top it all off, all they seemed to be giving out were jawbreakers and suckers.  Thanks a lot, random insurance companies and karate centers. . .

(I decided to go as a bad-ass for Halloween this year.)

. . . Kris didn't feel like dressing up, though

Abby kicks off her marathon bout of candy-inhalation.

The Houghs, waiting for the much-hyped 'Haunted Hay Ride'. . .

. . . which was nothing but a pickup pulling a lawn-care trailer barely filled with hay, driving around a pond with about $60 worth of Halloween decorations scattered around it.

Everyone was thrilled.

The highlight of the 'haunted' hay ride?  The smoke machine blinding our children.  What kid doesn't like being blinded, right?

"Watch out for the pirate wearing overalls, kids!", or "Hey kids, look! - that farmer's wearing a pirate hat. . . for whatever reason."  Take your pick - I don't get what the hell this was supposed to be.

Maybe this was a pirate ship. . .?  I mean, that wooden thing is sorta shaped like a ship's hull, right?  Sure it is.  That could very well be a pirate's skeleton caught in the piratical act of sunbathing, as he was when he was died.  On the shores of this great. . . pond.  In Hunter's Creek.

Hey kids, look!  It's Michael Keaton!  So THAT'S where he's been for the last decade or two - Osprey Park!

More sugar. . .

Taking another candy break. . .

A bunch of parents, waiting around for their chance to throw their kids into a parked fire engine. . .

Abby, content with balancing on the curb. . . something she stops to do EVERYWHERE WE GO.

 

The Cannonball gets behind the wheel. . .

 

You know, we thought for sure Abby would have a royal meltdown with this, but she was actually more at ease in the driver's seat than Alayna was. . .

Sitting in. . . the back seat?  What else would you call this?

 

 

Yet another ruined photo op.

The kids begin to grow restless. . .

(Abby had to be yanked off this stage a few times.)

 

On the prowl for more sugar. . .

At first I thought this was Beatles-themed, but it turns out it wasn't. . . so I have no idea why this particular bounce house had such an enormously long line.  I guess it's because people are idiots.

Wrangling easily-distracted children amidst a sea of shiny objects. . .

Yet another bounce house. . .

Abby snuck her way into the bounce house, scurrying past the ticket-taker and four adults, and had to be snatched up - kicking and screaming - as she began to scale the stairs to the slide.  She wouldn't have gone down the damn thing anyway, though - she would have been content sitting at the top of the slide, screaming at the various children attempting to move past her for their turn and not giving an inch.  More or less 'cause our child is a huge bitch.

 

See the kid behind Alayna?  Totally pushed her down the slide.  So, like any other respectable father would have done, I glared at him so bad when his own turn was over that he ran off whimpering to his parents.  Don't cross swords with a Hough, kid.

Hooligans.

Abby departs to start a new life with a better family.

There is no skill involved in this game.

The kids nab what plunder they can get. . .

Funned out.  Overall, the Halloween festivities at Osprey Park seem to be getting lamer and lamer with each passing year.  But, as you can see from the photographical documentation, the kids were mildly entertained, and that makes OUR job much easier.  So. . . we'll call it a draw, Osprey.  Thanks for the mediocrity.

- Brian