Not-Quite Halloweenishness at Osprey Park

Happy Mid-October!

Time for. . . Halloween?

Yeah, around here it is.

Hunter's Creek decided to jump the gun early this year.  I'm not sure why, I didn't ask them.  All I know is that the folks at Osprey Park - in their infinite wisdom - decided to throw their annual Halloween bash this week.

October 13th!  I'm thinking maybe there was a clerical typo of some kind and the numbers were switched around and nobody bothered to check it until it was too late.

(. . . and, of course, hilarity ensues.)

Anyway, we had no choice but to throw the kids into their unfinished Halloween costumes, load them up into Tactical Family Transport Vehicle, and set off for our annual excursion to Hunter Creek's Osprey Park for Halloween Fest '12 (whatever the hell they're calling it these days.)

Behold:

Kris wrangles the Cannonball's Judy Garland pigtails.

Abby channels Flava Flav en route to Osprey. . .

A bounce house with Disney Princesses?!  That's like heroin for our kids.

Abby aptly IDs some of her homegirls. . .

The Trick-or-Treating this year was nothing short of pathetic.  Only a few vendors were giving out candy, and they were all jammed into the same stretch of sidewalk, which created a terrible bottleneck in traffic flow.  AND, to top it all off, all they seemed to be giving out were jawbreakers and suckers.  Thanks a lot, random insurance companies and karate centers. . .

(I decided to go as a bad-ass for Halloween this year.)

. . . Kris didn't feel like dressing up, though

Abby kicks off her marathon bout of candy-inhalation.

The Houghs, waiting for the much-hyped 'Haunted Hay Ride'. . .

. . . which was nothing but a pickup pulling a lawn-care trailer barely filled with hay, driving around a pond with about $60 worth of Halloween decorations scattered around it.

Everyone was thrilled.

The highlight of the 'haunted' hay ride?  The smoke machine blinding our children.  What kid doesn't like being blinded, right?

"Watch out for the pirate wearing overalls, kids!", or "Hey kids, look! - that farmer's wearing a pirate hat. . . for whatever reason."  Take your pick - I don't get what the hell this was supposed to be.

Maybe this was a pirate ship. . .?  I mean, that wooden thing is sorta shaped like a ship's hull, right?  Sure it is.  That could very well be a pirate's skeleton caught in the piratical act of sunbathing, as he was when he was died.  On the shores of this great. . . pond.  In Hunter's Creek.

Hey kids, look!  It's Michael Keaton!  So THAT'S where he's been for the last decade or two - Osprey Park!

More sugar. . .

Taking another candy break. . .

A bunch of parents, waiting around for their chance to throw their kids into a parked fire engine. . .

Abby, content with balancing on the curb. . . something she stops to do EVERYWHERE WE GO.

 

The Cannonball gets behind the wheel. . .

 

You know, we thought for sure Abby would have a royal meltdown with this, but she was actually more at ease in the driver's seat than Alayna was. . .

Sitting in. . . the back seat?  What else would you call this?

 

 

Yet another ruined photo op.

The kids begin to grow restless. . .

(Abby had to be yanked off this stage a few times.)

 

On the prowl for more sugar. . .

At first I thought this was Beatles-themed, but it turns out it wasn't. . . so I have no idea why this particular bounce house had such an enormously long line.  I guess it's because people are idiots.

Wrangling easily-distracted children amidst a sea of shiny objects. . .

Yet another bounce house. . .

Abby snuck her way into the bounce house, scurrying past the ticket-taker and four adults, and had to be snatched up - kicking and screaming - as she began to scale the stairs to the slide.  She wouldn't have gone down the damn thing anyway, though - she would have been content sitting at the top of the slide, screaming at the various children attempting to move past her for their turn and not giving an inch.  More or less 'cause our child is a huge bitch.

 

See the kid behind Alayna?  Totally pushed her down the slide.  So, like any other respectable father would have done, I glared at him so bad when his own turn was over that he ran off whimpering to his parents.  Don't cross swords with a Hough, kid.

Hooligans.

Abby departs to start a new life with a better family.

There is no skill involved in this game.

The kids nab what plunder they can get. . .

Funned out.  Overall, the Halloween festivities at Osprey Park seem to be getting lamer and lamer with each passing year.  But, as you can see from the photographical documentation, the kids were mildly entertained, and that makes OUR job much easier.  So. . . we'll call it a draw, Osprey.  Thanks for the mediocrity.

- Brian