Zombie Jesus and a Crap-Load of Nieces and Nephews

Happy Easter, Internet.

I know I've said this, like, a billion times already, but I can't stand this frickin' holiday.  Lots of prep go into kids' Easter baskets, there's a scavenger hunt to plan, Easter eggs to stuff, and, to top it all off, church.

Definitely doesn't rank among the likes of Christmas, St. Patrick's Day, or Halloween, that's for damn sure.

This year was better, though.  Taking into consideration their recent trips to New York and Mexico, and seeing how they're no longer little kids, Kris and I decided to scale back Easter this year.  For the first time in over a decade, there was no morning scavenger hunt around the house (and yard) for the girls' Easter Baskets.  We didn't hide Easter eggs around, either (though we haven't done that in a few years - kids grew out of that tradition pretty fast.)  Their baskets were basically candy and beauty items - no Sunday dresses or anything like that this time around.

But we still ended up going to church in the morning.  Kris is a big fan of going to church.

After the service ended, we came home and had a couple hours to kill before heading over to Mom and John's house for an Easter lunch (and to celebrate Grandpa Chinery's belated 91st Birthday.)  We couldn't change out of our church clothes because Mom wanted some family pictures taken with Grandpa later, so Kris and the girls chalked the driveway a little and we otherwise occupied ourselves until heading over there to meet up with my brothers and their families for some much-needed food.

So here you go, folks - Easter '23, Hough-style.

Enjoy. . .

Easter Baskets for the girls (and dogs.)

Not-so-patient dogs, awaiting their plunder.

Kris randomly threw in some of the girls' old Easter crafts from when they were like 2 or 3 into their baskets this year.  I think she found them while cleaning out a filing cabinet a couple months ago - I'm assuming she was just trying to 'nicely' get rid of them. 

We had to park at Chestnut Hill Elementary's front parking lot this morning when we rolled into Kris' new church (which is located right next door to the girls' alma mater.)  When we started walking over we spotted moron's stellar parking job.

After church, we came home and all killed time until we had to go to Mom's (as previously mentioned.)  Kris and the girls (and the dogs) began chalking up the driveway and tried to soak up some of the rare-for-this-time-of-year sun.

Kris tries to get some color.

Samson had to remain on a leash at all times - because it's Samson - but Watson's fine without one.  Abby and him walked all the way down to the corner of the road and back, he's pretty good at sticking where he's supposed to.

The Cannonball and her trademark drawing, Larry.  There's a backstory here but I'll be damned if I remember it. . .

Around 2pm we drove over to Mom's.  When we got there Mom had this sitting out on an end table for Chris (I'm assuming she stumbled upon it while doing some Spring cleaning or something, who knows.)

John recently installed some built-ins in their living room.  These guys completely change the layout of this room every six or seven months, I think..

Kris wanted a family picture taken of us today - we ran out of time to take the usual pre-church pic in the Study (Kris' new church starts about an hour earlier than her former church.)

After eating lunch, we decided to take a couple family pictures with Grandpa.  Seeing how he's like 91 years old he's pretty much on borrowed time these days.  Chris brought over his camera crap and we began the long and drawn-out process of arranging various nieces and nephews on the couch.

(This took much longer than you'd think.)

Front Row, Left to Right: Levi, Samwise, Nora, and Louis. Back Row, Left to Right: Owen, Abby, Grandpa, the Cannonball, and Scarlett.

Aaaaaand one with The Borthers.

Nicole thought of getting one with Mom and Grandpa at the last minute - can't believe the rest of us hadn't thought to do that.

Eating more food in the sun room.  FYI - I thought those Easter Bunnies painted on Mom's windows (courtesy of Owen and Scarlett) had really, saggy granny boobs. . . then someone told me those were their paws.

Weather was pretty awesome today - sunny and mid-60s, so folks were in and out between this room and the backyard throughout the afternoon.

After awhile it was time for Grandpa to blow out his candles.  We figured we'd cut the guy a break and not have him blow out ninety-one, individual candles.  That'd probably kill him.

Alayna sent me this.  She's a bitch.

After cake and ice cream, most of us migrated outside to take advantage of the sun. . .

Abby man-handles (girl-handles?) her little cousin.

Jeff's been working with Owen on catching and throwing a ball around, the kid's pretty good at it.

Mom thought it'd be a good idea to give the little kids bubble guns.  I get it, it's a 'spring' sorta toy.  Still, after you take what equates to a gallon of soap suds in the face throughout the duration of an afternoon, the toy wears on you a smidge.

Lotta stuff to process here. . .

Meanwhile, around the house, Abby and Scarlett chalked up Mom's driveway.

Touching up Alayna's Larry drawing.

Levi and Louis tossing a ball back and forth. . . over a distance of like 16".  Levi complained the entire time.

Larry looks pretty gay here, not gonna lie.

My nephews are weird.  They must get it from their dads.

Around dinner time - not that anyone was hungry after Mom's house - we came back to the house.  The weather, still amazing out, dictated Kris and I enjoy a beverage on the back patio.  Behold, America - the first Oberon of the season.

Later that evening, winding down with the girls and watching some TV.  This very well might be the laziest dog in the Tri-City area.

- Brian

As Falls Tahquamenon, So Falls Tahquamenon Falls, Pt. IV

(contd.)

Tahquamenon Falls - Day Four

The morning after our long-ass hike, it came as a surprise to no one that folks all slept in (except Yours Truly, of course.)

Later in the morning, as the womenfolk began stirring from their slumber (Smitty, of course, would be out for awhile still.)  The girls entertained themselves with some bizarre charade game, where Alayna silently posed like various Marvel characters (here, she's pretending to be Spiderman), and Abby - who was in my hammock - had to guess who Alayna was representing.  If Abby got it wrong, Alayna got to take a large step forward, and once she reached the hammock, it was her turn to lie down in it and guess Abby's charades.  My kids make up some really weird-ass games.

Dr. Strange.

Abby's not the brightest bulb in the drawer when it comes to the Marvel Cinematic Universe - she didn't do so hot with this game.

Thannos.

Kris and her wide assortment of bathroom toiletries set off for the Shower House.

The Hough/Smitty 'kitchen.'

Blowing some bubbles, killing time while the womenfolk shower off.

Popped bubble mist.

Abby, you're doing it wrong. . . 

Around lunchtime (which we ate back at the campsite, since folks took their time getting around today - the hike took a lot out of people), I cracked open this super-good Oatmeal Stout from Short's Brewery.

After lunch, Kris and I took the girls back up to the Upper Falls visitor center to shop around in the gift shops for a bit while Smitty finished getting around.  This time we just drove there, and it only took about five minutes.  Way easier to drive, folks.

Kinda doubt this was carved by actual Native Americans. . . 

About an hour later, we rallied the troops and made our way to the Lower Falls boat launch.  From there, you could rent a rowboat to take you over to the island the Lower Falls surrounds.  We wanted to check out this island, from which you could wade out into the river and play around in the falls and stuff.

Girls taking another selfie.

Noted.

Entering the river.  The weather was perfect today for splashing around in the water - low 80s, clear and sunny.

The Houghs in front of the Lower Falls.

Rita and Smitty

Abby photobombs a parental selfie.

Go ahead and guess how many times this kid slipped on slimy rocks and fell down into the water. . .

Pale-ass tourists can't get enough of this place.  Glad we hiked by the Falls and got all our scenic pictures on the day we chose to hike (when it was in the mid/upper-70s, and 'too cold' to swim.)  That would've pissed me off to have a bunch of pale, fat tourists in my scenic waterfall pictures. . .

The water wasn't necessarily cold, per se, but the force of the water was a little rattling for Abby.

If you watch the previous video carefully, you can see the force of the waterfall make Kris' grip on Abby's arm twist suddenly, which consequently jerked and twisted Abby's arm as they passed under.  When they reemerged, we got some pictorial evidence of Kris' A+ parenting.

Leviathan emerges from the depths. . .

Abby decides to contribute to one of the many cairns that were scattered about the shallow riverbed. . .

. . . or not.

Whoops.

Girl and dirt selfie.

The Cannonball finds a clam.  Or something, I don't know.

I felt naked without my SLR, but I had my phone and a portable battery source - tucked away in one of my smaller tactical man-purses - so I didn't freak out too bad.

We saw a couple of these bad boys in the river throughout the day, and fortunately no one got pinched by those nasty-ass claws.  Well, except for Smitty.  Smitty got pinched.

This stretch of the water was pretty perilous.  The water was fast moving, and the rocks were slippery and wobbled out of place whenever you stepped on one.

Stepping over a log.  Or tree, whatever it is.

Funned out with the constant threat of slipping on perilous rocks, we soon headed back to our original spot in the river. . . where there were actually waterfalls and you didn't risk splitting your skull every time you took a step.

Chilling on a log onto which Kris carved their mutual initials, using a sharp rock she found in the river.

Hanging out with Ms. Rita.

The gang.

After a couple hours, we had thoroughly traversed and explored the entire Eastern side of the island, so we decided to put on our flip-flops and check out the larger-but-somehow-not-as-populated-with-tourists Western side. . .

WAY more scenic on this side of the river, and far fewer people.  Not sure why that is.  Maybe 'cause it's farther away from where you park the rowboats?

More mandatory pictures in front of waterfalls.  We had ourselves a running theme this week.

The Houghs.  Again.

Abby wasn't sold on this anymore.  I think Kris' arm-twisting had been the final straw.

Oh, the things we do for pictures in this frickin' family. . .

It's a real damn shame they don' t have stuff like this closer to home, in Central Michigan.  I'm not a big fan of driving five hours in a car - and crossing that f***ing bridge in Mackinac - to see stuff like this.

Smitty decided to try and climb down a short cliff face in order to access the lower stretches of the Western riverbank. . .

Farther upstream, before you hit the falls.  This was about the same distance from the falls where, on the Eastern side of the island, you risked breaking your neck stepping over all those wobbly, slippery death stones. . .

This may have been the tallest cairn I've seen so far.  Some people try too hard.

After an hour so exploring the Western side of the river, the kids were beginning to grow hungry and tired of being out in the sun, so we made our way back to the rowboats.

After reaching the boat launch and returning to our campsite, it was time for some refreshments.

Once we had eaten dinner and put on some dry clothes, we loaded back up in the van for the evening's adventure:  the Seney Wildlife Refuge.  Both kids conked out in the car ride, having brought along their headphones so they could relax and listen to their horrible, horrible pop music and hopefully get some shut-eye before our next excursion.

A glimpse at the not-at-all scenic landscape on our way there.  Looks a lot like Mordor.

On the way to Seney, we drove through the small town of Newberry.

About the size of Farwell, I'd wager.  But who knows, honestly - this whole U.P. thing is weird.

(We didn't eat here.)

A downtown straight out of a time capsule.

Smitty once again wanted to stop for ice cream, which, as you can imagine, went over well with our kids.

In the zone.

Order up.

 

After our twenty-minute pit stop for ice cream, we continued on down the road, passing by numerous reputable-looking establishments such as this one. . .

. . . or this one.

Arriving at Seney, just as as the sun began to set.  We had arrived too late to get wildlife guides or anything like that - the visitor center/ranger station was closed already - so we had to set off ourselves on a self-guided tour.

Here, allow me to take some badass sunset pictures for you. . .

We opted to drive around the refuge's large ponds on a sight-seeing tour, following a one-way, two-track dirt and gravel path that was so narrow Kris' van had absolutely no room on either side for wiggle room.  With no cell-phone reception to allow us to call for help, and no street lighting whatsoever to assist the setting sun, we were a little anxious to get the drive over and done with.  If Smitty, who had been our designated driver since we arrived in the U.P., suddenly sneezed and the van went into a ditch (that hugged the edge of both sides of the 'road'), it'd be days before we were found by anyone.  Not ideal, folks.

One was usually able to spot lots of animals at this refuge, and while the larger animals in the animal refuge - black bears and moose - were usually not seen, you could usually bank on seeing beavers, muskrats, and various birds and reptiles.

Want another glorious, un-edited sunset picture?  Here you go.

First beaver, spotted about five minutes into our drive through the refuge.

Smitty approved.

Beaver in the Sun

We squared off with this goose for a couple minutes before it finally grew bored with our minivan and let us pass by.  As previously mentioned, there was no room in the road for us to drive around it, so unless we opted to run over and kill it - something that's probably frowned upon in an animal sanctuary - we had no choice but to wait for it to get out of the way.  Stupid goose.

Here's a few more sunset pictures for you folks.  Now featuring swans.

 

The occasional blobs in these pictures are marks on the windows.  We were unable to roll down any of the windows because CLOUDS of black flies were flying alongside our van for most of our drive.  I was willing to put up with a few blotches on my pictures if it meant prohibiting those little black bastards from entering my vehicle. 

Some local geese lead their kids away from the trespassing minivan.

Never tell me the odds.

Okay, that is pretty narrow.  We had a few inches to spare on either side of the van, but that was about it.

More ponds, off in the distance.  Smitty and I talked about how easy it would be to hide a dead body up in a place like this.  NOBODY would ever find it - there's nothing out here but swamp and black flies.

And in closing, here's one final sunset picture for you.  Because I'm nice.

- Brian