The Last Teenager

I'm not entirely sure who wrote this. . .

What's up, readers.

The youngest of the Houghs entered her Teenage Years this weekend. Abby told us she didn't want a huge party or anything too crazy this year for her birthday - which, honestly, was 100% cool in our book, as those parties are usually a pain in the ass to plan and manage- and instead wanted just a casual sleepover followed by eating out at a restaurant.  Kris and I were totally on board with this plan.

So yesterday (Saturday) was the sleepover day, as we obviously couldn't have something like that on her actual birthday (today) because she's got school early Monday morning. Today we just let her and her best friend, Ella, hang out for a bit, then went out to eat at - ugh - Olive Garden (don't ask me why this is the place she chose. . . out of all the frickin' restaurants in Midland.)

All in all, a very, very low-key birthday for the Youngest of Houghs, but, then again, she's about as opposite from her older, far-more-social sister as one could get - she's always preferred to have one or two friends on hand, with not a lot of craziness going on.  So that's what she got this weekend - a very chill induction into her teenage years.

Check it out. . .

We kicked off Saturday morning with a trip to Planet Fitness, where Yours Truly has been spending a lot of time lately.  As a Black Card member, I'm allowed to bring one guest with me per gym visit, so I took Abby along with me.  Alayna, as a high school student, took advantage of Planet Fitness' summer program where high school students get to use the gym facilities free of charge throughout the summer.  Her and two of her best friends - Cristina and Lexi - all registered for temporary Planet Fitness accounts on their phones, and accompanied us up to the gym for the morning. I was able to sneak this pic and video of them utilizing these crazy stair machines while we were there (left to right: Cristina, Abby, Alayna, and Lexi.)

After the gym, the girls all hung out around the house for the afternoon. Eventually, Cristina went home and Ella came over and we grilled some steaks for dinner.

In the evening, Abby and Ella tried out these creepy, foaming face masks as par of their 'spa' routine. Looks like frickin' leprosy, if you ask me.

After-spa dancing, apparently. . .

Abby has been obsessed with the horror movie It lately, hence the red balloons everywhere and the 'I heart Derry' cake.  Girl's a bit creepy sometimes.

Teens are so content with just hanging out sharing what they're looking at on their phones with one another.  Sounds soul-crushingly boring to me, but whatever. . .

Selfies with these two. . .

The next morning, following a late-night sleepover in the basement, the girls woke up to smoothies with these ice-cream-flavored, edible straws of some kind that Kris found. . . somewhere.

Gift-opening time.  Abby's at the age now where for birthdays she's basically going to get cash from here on out - that's all she wanted.  Throwing $100 in tens so she can grab one whenever she wants to head out and do something is the way to go with this kid - she spends her money on doing things instead of tangible crap.

Kris got her tickets to this Six musical that Abby's been listening to a lot lately on Amazon Music.  From what I understand, it's a stage musical based on the six wives of Henry VIII.  Doesn't sound all that entertaining to Yours Truly, but, then again, I'm not gay.

Later that morning, the girls - and Kris - went outside to make rubber band bracelets on the newly-upgraded back patio.

This is a lazy, lazy dog.

White trash charcuterie board, teen edition.

(Kris always appreciates it when I sneak pictures of her eating.)

After lunch, it was time to do the obligatory cake thingy. . .

Kris clearly didn't give a lot of thought and attention into candle arrangement on this thing - this is a total hot mess.

She got way too into wielding this gigantic, razor-sharp chef's knife - we had to take it way from her.

Later on in the afternoon, Abby and Ella decided to bike down to Stratford Woods Park in order to utilize the park's BMX bike park.  Oddly enough, this was closed - no idea why, there was no sign out or anything like that - so we had them bike back, change into swimsuits, and we drove them back up there to swim instead.

The girls wanted to bring the dogs.  Which, you know, is always fun. . .

They were a little reluctant to get in at first - this 'lake' is arguably pretty gross.

Besties

(Yes, they own matching Crocs.)

Kris is very proud of her newly-acquired beach tote-thingy. I forget what the name of these things is, but they're currently trendy - made out of the same rubber as Crocs, and perfect for beach/lake/pool excursions.

This is a bizarre perspective - the hole she's in is nowhere near as deep as it looks.

Having a blast.

Ella attempts to box a horse fly.

Water must've been cold, who knows.

Heading back to the van after an hour or so - our time there was cut short when Yours Truly suddenly spotted a tick on the beach blanket (this summer is supposedly going to be very, very bad for ticks. . . which is rare for down here in the Lower Peninsula.)

Kris' boss' wife, Melanie (who, if you'll recall, accompanied Kris and Abby when they went to New York City over Spring Break) was nice enough to drop off this card and balloons at our front door while we were away at the park.  Super nice of her.

Samson cuddling with some plush dinosaur thing Abby picked out at the store.

Watson, aforementioned plush dinosaur, and some handsome guy hanging out on the couch.

We always let the kids pick where they'd like to eat dinner on their birthday, and Abby - for whatever f***ing reason - really, really likes Olive Garden.  So that's where we went.

Some pre-meal pics at the table.  Abby and Kris.

Yours Truly and the Cannonball.

Kris wanted a selfie of the entire family in one picture (because it's Kris) so Abby took this one. . . but then Kris didn't like her face in it. . .

. . . so she made everyone take this one.

Alayna and I stuck to the Soup/Salad/Breadsticks thing - neither of us were super hungry, and I'm usually okay with a beer and just something small to pick at anyway - but Kris and Abby ordered full pasta dishes.  After a lackluster dinner - seeing how Olive Garden is basically an Italian version of the microwaved-entrees you'd find at a T.G.I. Friday's or Applebee's - we went home, watched a movie, and called it a weekend.  So there you go, America - the last Hough has now successfully entered her teenage years.  See ya next time.

- Brian

The Teenager

How's it goin', folks.

So we've finally entered the Teenage Years as a family:  the Cannonball turns 13 this week (on this Wednesday, coming up), which is scary to think about.  Time definitely speeds up as your kids get older.  As we did with her sister before her, we realized Alayna didn't want anything this year for her birthday (because she didn't need anything for her birthday, the kid's spoiled), so we went with the 'experience' route once again.  Instead of repeating the hotel room ploy we did with Abby, Kris decided to rent out a gigantic, 20-ft tall waterslide bounce house instead.

No, seriously.

(L to R: Ellie, Amelia, Ella, Cannonball, Alivia, and Halle.)

We got our hands on a voucher awhile back, and while the rental was still pricey, it wasn't too much above what we'd drop on birthday presents and the cost of a venue-centered party once the discount was factored in.  

Originally, we had thought of this idea for Abby, but realized that Abby, being an introvert (like her mom), is more comfortable with one or two close friends, while Alayna (more like her old man) feels better when surrounded in a large group of friends.  If we were gonna be dropping the money on a huge-ass waterslide in our backyard, we wanted it getting used.

All-out chaos.

Cannonball Run.

So the morning of the party, around 10am, Yours Truly ran out to Meijer to pick up ice, the birthday cake, and last-minute party necessities - as well as to knock out a few errands - while Kris began receiving now-8th Grade girls.  By the time I returned around 11:30am, there were about a dozen screaming girls in the backyard, running around.  This continued, unabated, until we did cake and presents, around, like 1:30pm, then picked back up and went until 5pm-ish, when a huge thunderstorm descended on the area and forced everyone indoors for about an hour and half.  Even then, despite the much cooler, post-rain temperatures, girls were getting back onto the bounce house.

It wasn't until 10pm that the last of the party-goers finally got picked up by their parents, and by then everyone was exhausted.  But the Cannonball was happy, now a teenager and having spent a long-ass day with a shit-load of her friends.

If anyone needs me, I'm going to be in the other room.  With some whiskey. . .

Alayna loves it when her mom takes pictures of her.

Just like Nana used to make. . .

Squad, assembled.  L to R: Kendall, Alivia, Ellie, Amelia, Lexie, Cristina, Halle, the Cannonball, Gabby and the infamous Maddie.

This is why I hid indoors for the majority of the day.

Playing volleyball (they hit the side of the house more than I'd like.)

Mom stopped by to drop off a couple presents, and Alayna walked her around to show her the bounce house. . .

I can't believe the Cannonball talked her into this.

After a couple hours or watersliding, sunbathing, and running about screaming, it was time for the Cannonball to open up her gifts. . .

Some handmade anime paintings.  This whole crew of Alayna's is really into this Japanese anime crap - something, as a middle school teenager, I've seen every year since 2007.  I forget which of her friends painted these, but the girl clearly has some talent (these paintings are now hanging up in Alayna's bedroom.)

Cards are hilarious.

Homosexual night lights.  Whatever.

Sunbathing dogs.

This kid and her tissue paper necklaces. . . 

Abby, in a rare non-rage mood.

Alayna and Gabby

More sunbathing dogs

More anime shit. . .

Kris recorded, like, an 8-minute video during this whole process.  Hence me not posting it (thanks, Blogger.)  Just know that there exists a video of Alayna opening up all this crap.

Alayna got a couple sweatshirts from Mom to open today (I think she's dropping off her other gifts on her actual birthday), all of them anime-themed (of course.)  This black and orange one is from some show about volleyball, and multiple girls at today's shin-dig all had different players' sweatshirt (as you can spot in the pics if you look closely.)

#9.  Not sure who that is.  Someone with a Japanese name.

See?  Abby and one of the girls in the background (think her name is Amelia) are both sporting the volleyball team hoodies.

#5.

Wife close-up

Kris went with the orange-and-black color scheme of this graduation cake due to the aforementioned volleyball anime thing (see: sweatshirts.)  When she ordered it, she requested they take off the '2021,' since it wasn't a graduation cake.  Meijer neglected to do so, and so this cake states the year in which Alayna celebrated a birthday.  You know, for reference.

Assembling for cake.

13 Candles

Calling dibs on different parts of the cake.  I got a lot of shit for how I cut this cake, Kris said I made the pieces way too big.  As if a kid can have too much cake at a party, sheesh. . .

Letting the sugar digest and enjoying more waterslide.  The girls enjoyed straddling the side of the slide and kicking kids as they came down.  Teenagers are weird.

Frickin' Johnson kid.  Ella was on hand to keep Abby entertained during the day's festivities.  Fortunately there was minimal drama today.

Storm's a-brewin'.  We quickly brought everything that wasn't rain-proof indoors around 5pm, just as it began to downpour.  For two hours (-ish), we were forced to hunker down inside while it thundered and poured outside:  Kris worked on dinner and visited with her mom (who showed up, albeit late), Yours Truly whittled down and edited pictures, and the girls occupied themselves in the basement playing videogames and listening to their collaborative playlist (Alayna took a page from her old man and had each of her friends submit 10 songs for an ultimate birthday playlist - I've never been so proud.)  When the rain let up, despite the chillier weather, most of the girls ran right back out to the waterslide again.  At least we got our money's worth. . .

- Brian