The Last Teenager

I'm not entirely sure who wrote this. . .

What's up, readers.

The youngest of the Houghs entered her Teenage Years this weekend. Abby told us she didn't want a huge party or anything too crazy this year for her birthday - which, honestly, was 100% cool in our book, as those parties are usually a pain in the ass to plan and manage- and instead wanted just a casual sleepover followed by eating out at a restaurant.  Kris and I were totally on board with this plan.

So yesterday (Saturday) was the sleepover day, as we obviously couldn't have something like that on her actual birthday (today) because she's got school early Monday morning. Today we just let her and her best friend, Ella, hang out for a bit, then went out to eat at - ugh - Olive Garden (don't ask me why this is the place she chose. . . out of all the frickin' restaurants in Midland.)

All in all, a very, very low-key birthday for the Youngest of Houghs, but, then again, she's about as opposite from her older, far-more-social sister as one could get - she's always preferred to have one or two friends on hand, with not a lot of craziness going on.  So that's what she got this weekend - a very chill induction into her teenage years.

Check it out. . .

We kicked off Saturday morning with a trip to Planet Fitness, where Yours Truly has been spending a lot of time lately.  As a Black Card member, I'm allowed to bring one guest with me per gym visit, so I took Abby along with me.  Alayna, as a high school student, took advantage of Planet Fitness' summer program where high school students get to use the gym facilities free of charge throughout the summer.  Her and two of her best friends - Cristina and Lexi - all registered for temporary Planet Fitness accounts on their phones, and accompanied us up to the gym for the morning. I was able to sneak this pic and video of them utilizing these crazy stair machines while we were there (left to right: Cristina, Abby, Alayna, and Lexi.)

After the gym, the girls all hung out around the house for the afternoon. Eventually, Cristina went home and Ella came over and we grilled some steaks for dinner.

In the evening, Abby and Ella tried out these creepy, foaming face masks as par of their 'spa' routine. Looks like frickin' leprosy, if you ask me.

After-spa dancing, apparently. . .

Abby has been obsessed with the horror movie It lately, hence the red balloons everywhere and the 'I heart Derry' cake.  Girl's a bit creepy sometimes.

Teens are so content with just hanging out sharing what they're looking at on their phones with one another.  Sounds soul-crushingly boring to me, but whatever. . .

Selfies with these two. . .

The next morning, following a late-night sleepover in the basement, the girls woke up to smoothies with these ice-cream-flavored, edible straws of some kind that Kris found. . . somewhere.

Gift-opening time.  Abby's at the age now where for birthdays she's basically going to get cash from here on out - that's all she wanted.  Throwing $100 in tens so she can grab one whenever she wants to head out and do something is the way to go with this kid - she spends her money on doing things instead of tangible crap.

Kris got her tickets to this Six musical that Abby's been listening to a lot lately on Amazon Music.  From what I understand, it's a stage musical based on the six wives of Henry VIII.  Doesn't sound all that entertaining to Yours Truly, but, then again, I'm not gay.

Later that morning, the girls - and Kris - went outside to make rubber band bracelets on the newly-upgraded back patio.

This is a lazy, lazy dog.

White trash charcuterie board, teen edition.

(Kris always appreciates it when I sneak pictures of her eating.)

After lunch, it was time to do the obligatory cake thingy. . .

Kris clearly didn't give a lot of thought and attention into candle arrangement on this thing - this is a total hot mess.

She got way too into wielding this gigantic, razor-sharp chef's knife - we had to take it way from her.

Later on in the afternoon, Abby and Ella decided to bike down to Stratford Woods Park in order to utilize the park's BMX bike park.  Oddly enough, this was closed - no idea why, there was no sign out or anything like that - so we had them bike back, change into swimsuits, and we drove them back up there to swim instead.

The girls wanted to bring the dogs.  Which, you know, is always fun. . .

They were a little reluctant to get in at first - this 'lake' is arguably pretty gross.

Besties

(Yes, they own matching Crocs.)

Kris is very proud of her newly-acquired beach tote-thingy. I forget what the name of these things is, but they're currently trendy - made out of the same rubber as Crocs, and perfect for beach/lake/pool excursions.

This is a bizarre perspective - the hole she's in is nowhere near as deep as it looks.

Having a blast.

Ella attempts to box a horse fly.

Water must've been cold, who knows.

Heading back to the van after an hour or so - our time there was cut short when Yours Truly suddenly spotted a tick on the beach blanket (this summer is supposedly going to be very, very bad for ticks. . . which is rare for down here in the Lower Peninsula.)

Kris' boss' wife, Melanie (who, if you'll recall, accompanied Kris and Abby when they went to New York City over Spring Break) was nice enough to drop off this card and balloons at our front door while we were away at the park.  Super nice of her.

Samson cuddling with some plush dinosaur thing Abby picked out at the store.

Watson, aforementioned plush dinosaur, and some handsome guy hanging out on the couch.

We always let the kids pick where they'd like to eat dinner on their birthday, and Abby - for whatever f***ing reason - really, really likes Olive Garden.  So that's where we went.

Some pre-meal pics at the table.  Abby and Kris.

Yours Truly and the Cannonball.

Kris wanted a selfie of the entire family in one picture (because it's Kris) so Abby took this one. . . but then Kris didn't like her face in it. . .

. . . so she made everyone take this one.

Alayna and I stuck to the Soup/Salad/Breadsticks thing - neither of us were super hungry, and I'm usually okay with a beer and just something small to pick at anyway - but Kris and Abby ordered full pasta dishes.  After a lackluster dinner - seeing how Olive Garden is basically an Italian version of the microwaved-entrees you'd find at a T.G.I. Friday's or Applebee's - we went home, watched a movie, and called it a weekend.  So there you go, America - the last Hough has now successfully entered her teenage years.  See ya next time.

- Brian

Elevencies

Birthday breakfast before school Friday morning. . .

What''s up, folks.

So Kris and I have slowly come to the realization that our girls have, well, a ton of shit.  Like, to the point where when asked what they want for their birthday, they don't even know what to ask for - they have everything they could want or need.  Taking this into consideration, Kris has been gung-ho about giving them experiences rather than tangible gifts for their birthdays (I'm more of a 'gift' person, so I've dug in my heels with this in the past.)  

This year I relented and told Kris she could plan events for the girls' birthdays instead of just buying more crap for them (I'm not budging on Christmas, though - gifts are part of Christmas and I won't negotiate there.)  We decided to surprise Abby with a hotel mini-getaway for her 11th Birthday:  we booked a suite at the Marriot, invited a couple of her closest friends, and surprised her after school.  I had to drive up after I got out of work, so I missed the big reveal and everything, but fortunately Kris was able to capture everything sort of adequately.

Check it out. . .

 

Kris went out an picked up these gourmet cinnamon rolls from some hipster joint downtown - you don't wanna know how much they cost, it's stupid - the evening before and we stored them in my beer fridge downstairs.

Abby's a big fan of breakfast pastries, so this went over well.

The Cannonball helps herself.

Kris had the day off on Friday, so she was able to drive over to the hotel, check in, and start decorating the room.

She went with a bee theme.  Abby likes bees.   No idea why.

The big reveal.

So I'm not sure what excuse was used when bringing Abby to a hotel.  Wouldn't you kinda be suspicious if your friend's mom just brought you to a hotel?  What context would you possibly come up with to throw someone off the scent of a surprise?  Glad I wasn't a part of that ruse.

The Trio:  Sophie, Ella and Abby.

Hyper-ass kids.

Killing some time before they head downstairs and start swimming.  Folks were waiting on dinner before hitting up the pool, and I was picking up dinner on my way to the hotel.

Kris scheduled a pickup order from Olive Garden (Abby's choice, she's a huge fan of Italian food. . . if you can call Olive Garden authentic Italian food.)

Shoveling in pasta as fast as they can so they can start swimming.

This shit is disgusting.

Abby's bee-themed cake.  Kris did not make this.

After dinner, the kids decided to get the present-opening process out of the way before they started swimming.

Lots of clothes - shirts, sandals, swim suits, etc.

Kris and her mom.

Alayna likes doing this with tissue paper.  Who knows why.  I attribute this to her being 50% Farwellian.

Opening a present from Mom and John

Ella was just as excited about this as Abby was.

More gift cards

Showing Jackson the card (I guess it was funny. . .?)

Art supplies (Abby's been big into painting lately.)

A bunch of the dads in our friend group were hitting up the Tri-City Motor Speedway for some Friday night races, and hit up the Duel bar in Auburn beforehand for dinner (like we always do.)  I had been invited, but obviously had to pass due to Abby's brithday. . . so the guys sent me this picture of them enjoying greasy burgers and cold beers.

. . . so I sent them this picture in response.  Taken in the depths of the 9th circle of Hell.

Kris took the kids all down to the swimming pool after they had finished with gifts.  I meanwhile started changing into my suit.

Jackson hadn't brought any flip flops with him, so he borrowed mine (without asking.)  So I had to walk down to the pool dressed like this.   I'm a snappy dresser.

Enjoying the hot tub.

(The other kids were playing that one game where you have to swim across the pool while someone has their back turned, and if they jump in the pool and tag you, you're it.  Forget what it's called.)

Four kids in a hot tub (Sophie had a dance recital, so she wasn't here for this swim session - she'd be back later in the evening, though.)

After swimming for an hour or so, Danielle brought Sophie back over after her dance thing, and Courtney dropped some sleepover stuff for Ella.  We decided to do the cake thing while everyone was on hand, just in case folks wanted some.

Singing to the birthday girl. . .

Divvying up the spoils.

Shoveling in some sugar before heading back down to the pool.

Swimming is all the rage with kids these days.

This game.  Again.

Ladies hanging out in a hot tub.  After this swim session, Danielle took Jackson home and Courtney took off, and the rest of us settled in to the room for the night.  We watched a couple movies and the kids conked out.

The next morning, I got up early and drove home to let the dogs out, then started packing up for my weekend camping excursion with my high school friends (more to come on that later.)  In the meantime, Kris took the kids down for their complimentary continental breakfast. . .

And, of course, even more swimming.

- Brian