Collierpalooza

Welcome back, readers

Today we attended what, in years past, has been the biggest party of the year for everyone in our Tribe: Collierpalooza.

The last few years, this annual Memorial Day Party, heralding the Dawn of Summer, has grown in size to eclipse all other parties this local friend group of ours throws. Even larger, traditional parties - like our Halloween parties and the Sheahan Christmas parties - pale in comparison. Collier goes all-in on these annual bashes of his, operating multiple grills, ordering a bounce house for kids, hiring living entertainment, facilitating multiple yard games (Cornhole, Jenga, etc.), and putting out a spread of food that could feed a small town.

The diciest element to this yearly tradition is the weather. Late May is a toss-up - some years we've been blessed with July-like weather, where it's sunny in the high 70s or low 80s and everyone is soaking up the sun in shorts. Other years, the colder weather of late April or early May requires everyone to walk around in jeans and hoodies. Then there's the on-again/off-again rain you have to contend with, as this time of year is notorious for raining for weeks without letting up. 

Great for one's grass, sure, but not ideal for an outdoor party.

This year, unfortunately, we were hit with absolutely horrendous weather. It started to rain in the late morning and didn't let up until about twenty minutes before the party started. This brought the temperature down into the low/mid-60s, and everything was wet. A couple of the guys went over to Collier's in the late afternoon as the rain was letting up to help him set everything up quickly at the last minute, and fortunately by the time the party officially started at 5pm Collier's backyard was ready to go.

Still, on account of the far-from-ideal weather, turnout for this year's annual bash was considerably lower than usual. Lots of folks were out of town, and others just didn't turn out due to the lackluster conditions outside. Everyone still had a good time, sure, but it was definitely a more laid-back, low-key vibe this year compared to previous years. As such, and which you'll see you for yourself here in a sec, there's a lot less pics and video to show off this time around.

So I leave you now with what ended up being Collierpalooza '26. Enjoy. . .

As folks began to roll in around 5pm, the initial food spread was laid out on the Colliers' back deck and the man himself was manning two grills (hotdogs and brats on the Weber and burgers on the Blackstone.)

Folks loading up plates.

As always, Collier had set up multiple tables and canopies along the side of the deck so folks had a place to eat.

Women and children prefer to eat at tables, while the dads just kinda hover around the food table eating where they stand.

As the first round of plates were finished off, folks migrated into the backyard to start off a series of Cornhole games.

Tom and Mitch (probably talking about golf.)

Abby, Ella and Logan showed up about a half an hour later (once they had finished getting ready, of course.)

The canopy in the far back there was the christened 'man hangout area,' equipped with a kegorator full of Miller Lite and a few standing tables.

The view from the man tent.

The stage, board, and fire pit area.

The previous artists that Collier had reserved in the previous years were all booked (or otherwise declined the offer to return, not sure why - I think we're a fun bunch.) He ended up booking a duo of female singers that perform with guitars, but one of them had to cancel at the last minute. This left us with one chick who performed angry lesbian music from the 90s all night - far from ideal.

Cornhole continues. . .

The older kids here at this table were playing some sorta game (I didn't walk over there to check it out, though - sorry.)

Collier's kegorator is unfortunately a bust - after multiple attempts to dial it in over the course of half a dozen parties since last summer, he's never been able to get the temperature cool enough, so he's going to end up junking it. Cory offered to bring his over instead (shown here) which worked flawlessly throughout the course of the evening. . . until we polished the quarter-barrel off.

Collier and Erik

Once the adults had finished their initial games, the Hough girls teamed up against their respective boyfriends in a game. . .

Logan tosses a bag.

They need some practice. It's inexcusable they're not better at this, considering we have boards at home they can practice on.

Some of the spread (in hindsight I should have removed the foil off these dishes so you can see everything, but I didn't feel like putting that much effort into this.)

More of the spread.

The battle rages on.

Mitch stands by, giving pointers ('cause it's Mitch.)

Big E, The Pro, and The Colonel.

The angry lesbian music continues as Collier lights the fire for the evening.

Hanging out with Mitch and Tom in the dude tent.

As the evening dragged on, and the temperature started to drop, folks began to gravitate around the fire.

Broke out my newly-acquired Rancid hoodie for this evening (the skull on the back is from their 1998 album, Life Won't Wait.)

At this point, as it started to get darker out, kids either zeroed in on the bounce house or else went indoors, leaving the adults to hang out around the fire.

Folks kept piling wood on this thing, so we had a solid funeral pyre going for like three hours or so.

Sebastian and the Cannonball.

Cory had wasted an entire case of Miller Lite, dumping it all out and not drinking any of it (not sure why) in order to create 'cups' for Collier's keg. This little gadget here open the top of a standard beer can without creating sharp edges (I'm guessing due to those little doo-hickies in the center), so you can drink keg Miller Lite out of a Miller Lite can. Kind of a cool, little toy.

Ella definitely being a Fifth Wheel, here.

Mees gets a couples pic of ours kids and their respective male counterparts.

Cannonball group selfie.

Later on in the evening, this is how we closed out the night for the last couple hours.

Adding even more wood to the fire (Collier was starting to get nervous we'd go through his entire reserve of firewood this evening, and the way Cory kept adding wood to this thing you'd think that was the plan all along.)

Overseeing fire safety protocols.

Took a pic of this rager to send to Morgan, who, by far, builds the biggest fires of this group (they decided to stay back this evening and hang out around the house, so they didn't turn out this year.)

Sebastian grills up some more brats over the fire (this kid ate, like, eight dinners and was still hungry - I don't know how his parents keep him and his twin brother fed.)

So there you go, gang - that's this year's Collierpaooza. Kris and I took off around 11:30pm or so, seeing how I had to be up somewhat early the next morning for the Midland Memorial Day Parade, which Erik and I would once again be marching in a long with the Midland Freemasons. Stay tuned for tomorrow's installment. . .

- Brian

Collierpalooza

Hey homies.

Here we are again, at our tribe's biggest party of the year: Collierpalooza.

I've talked about this before, but in case you're new here and not sure what the hell this is or why I'm devoting an entire blog post to it, allow me to enlighten you. Collierpalooza is the Collier Family's annual Memorial Day Bash, and is the grandest affair of the year for our group of twelve or so families. It dwarfs our annual Halloween Parties, the Sheahan's annual Christmas Parties, and our other annual parties that change hands between families from year to year (the SuperBowl, New Years Eve, Fourth of July, St. Patrick's Day, etc.)

Our group loves parties, no question about it, and nobody comes remotely close to touching this one.

Collierpalooza is the pinnacle of parties for a couple different reasons. First, the guest list is bigger because a.) the Colliers have a bigger house and can accommodate more people, and b.) they don't care about mixing up social groups - inviting other families and couples who aren't in the tribe - whereas most of us tend to shy away from that. Secondly, they lean hard into amenities: they rent a Bounce House for the kids, they book live entertainment for the adults (seriously), and have a backyard that's custom-designed for hosting, with an elaborate fire pit, a wide back deck, and an open yard to facilitate multiple corn hole boards.

The tricky thing with outdoor parties is that they're weather-dependent, and in the past we've been blessed and cursed with good and bad Collierpaloozas. Some years we have great weather, some years the weather is abysmal. This year was kinda in the middle, starting off mild but then getting chillier as the evening went on, but at least the rain held off this time around (thank God.)

Things kicked off around 4:30pm, and continued until almost midnight, thereabouts. Most non-tribe families took off around 9pm or so, but the regulars hung out later. Still, with Erik and I - and some other dads that we roped in with some pressuring - getting up bright and early for the following morning Memorial Day Parade, we couldn't rage too far into the night. And we had to somewhat behave ourselves throughout the party, which at our age isn't too hard to do.

As usual, I took a crap-ton of pics for you to check out, supplemented with a few from Kris and a few others that I've included here, for your viewing pleasure. It was a great way, as always, to celebrate the Dawn of the Summer, and we're certainly looking forward to it next year when Memorial Day Weekend comes around.

Behold. . . .

Collier had to man the grill for the first hour or so of the party, just to make sure there was enough burgers, brats and dogs on hand for everyone. It was looking pretty dicey there for a bit, and we were scared it might run out, but folks' appetites leveled out after awhile.

Vultures begin to circle the food tables.

So a year or two ago my dad gave me this old pair of Brooks running shoes from the 80's that were brand new, still with tags on them (he used to buy a shitload of running shoes back in the day when he was running marathons and didn't get around to using several pairs.) I pounced on them, as I love the whole vintage aesthetic. Knowing this, he threw in a pair of old, 80's socks to go with the shoes. I paired these with one of the new, tacky party polos I've picked up for our upcoming family trip to Disney World next month, along with a Pablo Cruise trucker hat (because who doesn't love Yacht Rock?)  Had to fend off wives all evening long, folks.

Mitch, Lon-Dog, and Tom

Folks settle in for food as the hired musician starts setting up for his gig. Collier had food starting at 5pm and live music to kick off at 6pm, that way folks could focus on the entertainment instead of waiting around to grab shit off the food table.

This is the same guy Collier hired last year (forget his name, but he's from Saginaw.) Has one of those delayed recording programming units where he can play a bass part of a song for a few measures, hit a button, and the machine will continue to play said bass part. Then he can layer more and more layers on top of this so it sounds like there's a full band performing. Kind of a neat, lil' toy.

Cornhole commences. . . 

Rob vs. Tom

Rob's a new addition to The Kings of the Hill, having only joined our ranks last summer. His daughter was in the same girl scout troop as all the other girls, way back in the day, so his joining was inevitable, but he's also been super close with Tom for years.

They were facing off against these two, crusty old bastards.

Erik and Mitch

Hey look, Kris took a pic.

The kids would throw a few bags back and forth before leaving interest - that second set of boards wasn't ever seriously utilized throughout the evening. 

One thing I like to do during these tribe parties of ours is just walk around with a running video in order to document the 'feel' of a party, get the whole vibe of it.

Pretty much sums up Collierpalooza, if I don't say so myself.

Mitch and Collier

Yours Truly and Nagatha Christie.

Dads were big fans of these little standing table thingies Collier stole from his work for the event (I guess they use them at trade shows or some shit, I don't know.)

Erik and Lonnie

The Kings of the Hill, Left to Right: The Colonel, Steven, Rob, Big E, Lonnie Big Balls, Pro, Collier, Omkar, and Damn It Tom.

Standing around drinking, watching Corn Hole. That right there was about 90% of the party.

Courtney and Kris

Finally decided to jump in for a game, which was stupid because I threw like shit tonight. I'm hit or miss with this game.

I take back my earlier comment about the second set of boards: I forgot the wives got down with a game at one point.

Kelli and Mees

(I'm classy.)

At one point, Abby's boyfriend - PeterMan - was dropped off to hang out at the party for a couple hours, so the two of them ended up shooting hoops with Alivia in the driveway for awhile. (Kris was trying to be sneaky getting pics of them of them interacting without parental figures around.)

The Real Housewives of Midland. From Left to Right: Deanna, Alicia, Lacey, Amy, Susan, Mees, Kris, Kelli and Courtney.

Abby and PeterMan wanted to play corn hole after awhile so Kris and Mees agreed to take them on.

This game went on for awhile, they were pretty evenly matched (and not in a good way.)

Had to step out to my car and change in the backseat at one point in the evening. I knew the weather was supposed to cool off considerably in the post-dinner hours, so had packed a pair of jeans and a light jacket just in case. This ended up being a smart move on my part.

You can start to see an increase in the number of hoodies and jeans in these later pics.

My Member's Only jacket (of which I have a couple) got a lot of praise this evening, which is weird considering I wear them frequently. I assume it's because it paired with my aforementioned outfit quite well.

Steven, showing Tom and Rob something on his phone.

Ryan offers up another round of his wife's infamous pudding shots (I had, like, four throughout the night - they're soooo good.)

Collier, Mitch, and some random-ass dude Collier must know.

Mitch got some footage of my wife dancing in the wild. 

View from the second-floor bathroom.

Susan, Amy, and Lacey

Mitch (probably talking about golf) and Rob

Accidental Renaissance.

And one with Brian.

Mitch's son, Drew, showed up at one point and helped himself to a few plates of food and a couple games of corn hole (like his dad, he's pretty good.)

Collier, living his best life.

Music continued until around 9pm or so, just as it was starting to get dark. As the hired stage monkey began packing up his stuff, folks tried to squeeze in a little more corn hole while the crew around the bonfire continued to grow in size.

Lots of other people started to leave, too - all those who had kids basically peaced out and some in our tribe did as well.

#Facts

The party winds down.

Mees gets pretty 'huggy' towards the end of the nights such as this (that's my hand at bottom right, I'm in there somewhere.)

By 10pm, it was just a few families in the tribe remaining (maybe one or two other couples, but most people had called it a night.) Mees wanted to play a bunch of games so she hauled out there giant Jenga set and proposed a Husbands vs. Wives game. Jenga always gives me anxiety, I f***ing hate it.

Fortunately, only a round or two into the game, Alicia ruined everything for the womenfolk and the Dads consequently won the evening. And rightfully so.

As we were preparing to head out, around 11pm, the chair Amy was sitting in collapsed (sounding like a gunshot, it was nuts.) A fitting way to bring this annual celebration to a close - totally looking forward to next year's Collierpalooza.

- Brian