The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXII

Time again for some Holiday jam analysis. . .

Album Title:  What if Mozart Wrote 'Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas?'

Album Artist:  The Hampton String Quartet

I found this at a local Salvation Army over the summer (check out the 99-cent sticker on the front), and felt this would make an interesting addition to my Holiday music section.  After all, I'm a sucker for Classical music, and it's not something one usually hears in the Christmas genre.  I was intrigued.

And it was a frickin' buck.

So, upon finally giving it a listen, I realized that this ended up being one of those records that sounds exactly how you'd expect it to.  I know that's not the norm with this here Christmas Record Odyssey of mine, but that's what we have here:  it's a compilation of Christmas songs all arranged to sound like classical music.  That's it.

Take that for what it's worth, folks.  Does it work?  Sometimes.  I guess.

It's weird, seeing how big a fan I am of both genres, but, then again, we all remember rap rock, don't we. . .

Hey look - it's Wolverine from the X-Men

So what's the problem with this?  Well. . . I'm not really sure.  There's no single blaring problem with it, it just never finds its footing.  All the components of awesome are there, surely, it just doesn't drive it home.  I should point out that this isn't a full-orchestral album:  this is a string quartet, which is fine and all, but with a quartet you're never going to reach those staggering highs and crushing lows of a full symphonic ensemble.  No, this feels like you're walking through an upscale luxury hotel - or a bank - sometime in mid-December.  There's a lot of rich people in drab overcoats walking to and fro.  And there's probably a fountain.  And there's four dudes in suits playing their violins, cellos, what have you, off in a corner.

And you think to yourself, "Oh look - a string quartet.  That's nice."

And then you walk on through the lobby, without even acknowledging what song the quartet was playing in the first place.

VERDICT:   6/10 - Decent (I have nothing bad to say about this. . . but it doesn't feel like 'Christmas' to me, so despite its respectable score it loses its spot for Holiday circulation)

- SHELVED -

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XVIII

Here we go again. . .

Album Title:  Merry Christmas

Album Artist:  Bing Crosby

It’s hard to find anything wrong with a classic.

They use the term ‘classic’ for a reason, folks:  it denotes timeless, awesome, and the idea that things that have come since don’t quite stack up to it.  Think about some common examples, real quick:  Classical Greece, Classical Music, Classic Rock, Classic Star Wars.  See what I mean?  Classics stick around indefinitely because they’re so good that they never fall out of favor with the masses, which is why most people today can still readily identify the principles of democracy, the symphonies of Mozart, the songs of the Rolling Stones, and the Millennium Falcon.

That bow-tie is straight-up gangster.

You wanna know what else they can readily identify?  Bing’s version of ‘White Christmas.’

Even if one doesn’t know who sings it, they’ve heard it.  Everybody’s heard it.  Same goes for half a dozen other gems on this classic Christmas offering from the Bingster:  they’re Holiday classics, and will be around long after you and I are both dead and rotting in the ground.

Now, this album isn’t necessarily one of my personal favorites, but it’s still good.  I don’t have any nostalgic relationship with this album, despite the fact nearly every track on here is familiar.  Growing up, this wasn’t something that was on heavy rotation in our house.  That probably has something to do with the fact that, as a kid, I was being exposed to other Holiday fare (Vince Guaraldi Trio, the Rudolph the Redness Reindeer soundtrack, the Muppets various Christmas albums, etc.)

And nobody’s ever accused Bing of making kids music.

That being said, it’s impossible to really find anything faulty with this album.  It’s a great collection of several of his biggest Christmas hits.  This dude was one of the best-selling recording artists of the 20th century, and his catalog is enormous.  As such, I’m sure there was a lot to choose from when compiling songs for this particular album, but I think the producers did well with this assortment.

Long story short, this one shall definitely remain in rotation throughout the rest of the Holiday season.  While it doesn’t achieve the higher scores of, say, the Muppets or A Charlie Brown Christmas, it’s still really good, and definitely earns its place in the pantheon of Holiday treasures.

VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome  (Keepin' it classic.)

- REMAINS IN ROTATION -