The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. CVI

Get ready for a slice of early '90s Holiday nostalgia, music lovers. . .

Album Title:  Home Alone Christmas

Album Artist:  Various Artists

I was able to snag this for a meager $15 during one of Walmart's flash vinyl sales around Black Friday.  I've had my eye on this Holiday release since it first came out last year, even when it was $25 - it's a compilation of some of the more recognizable songs used in the first two Home Alone movies, and it's even on red, translucent vinyl (which, you know, makes it sound better.)

Several of the songs used in this compilation are only famous due to the success of the movies, so their familiarity during the Holidays is based solely on their association with the movies and not with, say, the radio or your preferred streaming platform.  'Christmas Vacation' from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation and any of Vince Giuraldi Trio's numbers from A Charlie Brown Christmas fall into this category, for sure.  In this case, selections like The Fox Albert Choir's 'My Christmas Tree,' used during the Christmas pageant scene towards the beginning of the second movie, would be a perfect example.  While not an awesome song, per se, it reminds you of that particular scene in the movie, and these movies are both Christmas staples. 

John Williams, hands-down the greatest film composer of all time, offers three of his more recognizable pieces from the movies for this compilation, each of which have now become Holiday classics that one can hear in stores or one instrumental, Christmas playlists.  There's not a hell of a lot I can really say about someone as prolific as John Motherf***ing Williams - we all know he's the best at what he does, and, as usual, he delivers on this one once again.  I'm pretty sure if he delivered anything that wasn't prolific and instantaneously a classic our entire society would collapse.

Alan Jackson's 'A Holly Jolly Christmas' to the LP is one of the weaker songs on this release - it's just 'okay,' and I can't place its use in either of the two movies.  Even worse than this one, and easily the worst songs on the entire release, are Atlantic Starr's 'Silver Bells' and TLC's 'Sleigh Bells.'  Like Jackson's contribution, I don't remember these songs being in either of the two Home Alone movies, though I'm sure they played during the credits or something at some point, and their inclusion in the films (as well as on this compilation) was for producers to flex the movies' early '90s 'coolness' factor.  Both tracks are terrible, though - like, scratch the track with a nail so it can't be played again terrible.

All in all, this is mostly a solid Holiday soundtrack, but far from perfect.  There's a lot of good and a lot of bad on this LP, meaning you should probably put this one on in the background while you're doing other things during the Holidays (that way you can tune in during the good songs and run out of the room during the bad ones.)  By far, the biggest letdown on this album is the absence of The Drifter's 'White Christmas' - aside from Williams' score, the most definitive use of music in the entire films.  It's nowhere to be found.  That song is a genuine classic, and transcends the popularity of the movies by being a radio favorite before the films came out - God knows it appears on a few of my Amazon playlists.

VERDICT:  7/10 - Pretty Rad (A good album, but not great. . . thanks in part to a few terrible song inclusions and exclusions.  Maybe they'll come out with a deluxe edition of this soundtrack in the future featuring all the great Christmas music that was omitted from this particular release.  In the meantime, however, there's juuuuust enough good stuff here to keep it playing throughout the Holiday Season.)

- REMAINS IN ROTATION-

- Brian

At the Movies...

It is official.


There are two people in the known world who have yet to see Avatar: some mountain-man hermit living in the backwoods, coal country of West Virginia... and me.

I have not seen Avatar yet, which makes me somehow much like the white rhinoceros. I have nothing against the film, mind you - I just don't like spending more than $3 to see a movie... and seeing how I have yet to invent a working vehicle suitable for time travel (its in the works, people), I doubt I'll be able to hand over three Washingtons for a flick at a movie theater any time soon.

Anyway.

One movie that I do highly recommend to everybody out there is this: Reclaiming the Blade.


Hear me out...


Narrated by John Rhyes Davies and featuring practically every master swordmaster, swordsmith, historian, researcher, and knowledgable person on the face of the earth, this documentary traces the lineage of the sword, discusses its importance throughout history, and details the unique Western Martial Arts commonly practiced throughout the High Middle Ages and Renaissance.

Intrigued? Of course you are!!

When I first stumbled across this film, I practically soiled myself. It's like it was pretty much custom-made to suit my tastes, and it me on the verge of tears from start to finish. True, this may be due to my creepo-obsession with swords, which borders on a LARP-level of pure nerdishness, but I think 'normies' might find this film interesting, too (though my wife would beg to differ).

If you're in the mood for some quality, historical, badical film-making - and don't feel like shelling out more than $3 to see a movie about blue, naked people who run through jungles and hug trees - please check out this movie as soon as humanly possible. You'll be glad you did.

Best Wishes,

- Brian

To Hell with You, Crom!!

...so i started grad school on monday.

(just so you guys know, its not fun. at all.)

i really don't want to delve too far into it all, as i've already flogged that dead horse to pieces already. i just wanted everybody to realize that if i seemingly drop off the face of the earth for the next year and a half, you'll know the reason. the hermitishness i'll surely have to resort to farther on into my program hasn't set in yet - thus far i've been able to balance school (work) with work (school) without sacrificing too much social time. we'll see how all that crap pans out later on, though.

speaking of crap, i think it sucks we have to settle for a measely two conan movies. its ridiculous. all those movies about fast and furious cars, all those movies about hip-hop kids and dancing, all those movies with will ferrell playing some washed-up professional athelete... and we can only squeeze out two conan movies?

...really?!

i'm not counting red sonja as a conan movie either, folks. jesus, if conan's in a movie, its pretty stupid pretending he's not the main character. you may try shoving him out of the center spotlight, but its just not going to work.

the guy's bigger than Crom. he will crush his enemies and see them driven before him.

...

...i should really get back to writing my research paper.

- brian

George Lucas. Knock It Off.

i'm going to keep this short, because i don't want to ruin anything for those of you who haven't yet seen indiana jones and the kingdom of the crystal skull.

before i continue, i'd like to point out for those of you who don't know me well that i'm quite possibly one of the grandest indiana jones fans who ever walked the face of the earth. seriously. i'm about one tier down from those nerds (see picture below) who dress up like indiana jones on a regular basis (exploits while being drunk do not count - so don't bother bringing up my college years). the original trilogy is the main reason i joined the peace corps and spent years sweating away in sub-saharan africa, and one of the main reasons i decided to start teaching middle school social studies.

to me, the films are practically flawless. ...temple of doom isn't as good as the other two, but its still an awesome movie. i expected the new one to be a lot worse than it was going in: you definitely heard a lot from the nay-sayers for this movie (which isn't that surprising, as the coolest thing a person can do these days is hack away at a legend and act like some sort of critic). anyway, the movie was decent - i won't even bother saying 'it wasn't as good as the first three,' because even a chimp is going to know that before hearing anything about the movie. nothing can be better than the original three... unless, of course, they someday stumble across a secret vault and uncover a couple more movies that were shot around the same time frame, with the same cast and crew... you get where i'm going with this. so yeah... for those of you who haven't yet seen it, i'd recommend it watching it for sure.

but please remember this: george lucas is now completely mad with power, and his CGI stench and his God-awful script-writing and his market-whoring runs rampant throughout the entire picture. just a heads up, there.

if, like me, you grew up with harrison ford as your john wayne or steve mcqueen, then, for the love of God, go see this movie. if, for whatever reason, you only sorta-liked the original movies ("what's with the whip thing?") wait 'til it comes out on DVD before dropping $8 on an over-priced cinema ticket.

...and, if you hate indiana jones, and hated the original films since they first came out, please do the world a favor and go play in traffic. you are the reason bad things happen in this world. and, there's a good possibility you are a nazi.

cheers.

- brian