Memorial Day

Hi readers.

So today is Memorial Day, when we as a nation have the opportunity to come together and blah blah blah blah.

Just like we've done the last three or four years, Erik and I assembled our local Masonic body - Centre Lodge #273 - and marched in Midland's annual parade, throwing out candy to dirty-faced children and letting the people of the community know that, yes, Freemasons are still a thing. 

We had an okay group of guys turn out - about eight, same as usual (which is infuriating because there's over a hundred able-bodied members in our lodge, plus another seventy or so who are too old and decrepit to get out of a chair) - and like always Yours Truly was in charge of reserving us a spot in the parade, making the announcements, gathering up the banner and aprons, and making sure everything went according to plan.

This year we had perfect weather - pure sun and low-70s - and the parade itself went off without a hitch. Kris didn't march with First United Methodist Church this year, but she was in charge of orchestrating their placement and arranging the parade crap for them, and Abby marched with her MHS Varsity Pom Team. Alayna and her boyfriend, Sebastian, watched (and got some pics for us) down on Rodd Street, too.

Afterwards, according to custom, Erik and I - and those Kings of the Hill that volunteered to help us (this year it was Rob and Steven, our two newest recruits) - had lunch at Big E's. Following that, it was a sunny, afternoon tanning session in our backyard, where the Houghs (and Ella) worked on establishing our base tans for our upcoming Florida trip in June.

So here you go, gang - this year's Memorial Day Parade. Enjoy. . .

First attempt at getting a group picture in front of the banner (Evan, who's like 7 ft tall, wasn't sure where to stand.)

Centre Lodge #273

Kris' vantage point in the parade was across the street from First United Methodist Church, down on Main Street. Midland High was towards the front of the parade, with the Varsity Pom Team leading the band down the street.

MHS Varsity Pom (Abby is third back in the column closest to the camera)

Abby and the team marching by. . .

Crabigail

A little while later, the Masonic bodies of Midland - us and the Shriners, who came up directly behind us this year - came up. We had a large gap between us and the Fischer Concrete people directly ahead of us. The old guys driving the truck (that Morgan generously rented for us from his Ford dealership) were going slow, so we had to keep slowing down so they could catch up with us.

I helped take the banner out of the back of the truck at one point while we were setting up at the staging point of the parade, and got stuck holding one end of the banner for the remainder of the parade (opposed to throwing out candy, like I usually do.)

As always, we had a bunch of candy stored in the back of the truck, and the guys throwing out candy had to regularly run up and grab more bags out of the truck to whip out at little kids waiting eagerly along the sides of the parade route.

The Birch Brothers, institutions in our local Masonic bodies (this year the parade organizers demanded there be spotters in every vehicle in the parade. . . which is probably a good thing, I guess.)

Erik and Steven, throwing out candy.

The Shriner Cars (as usual, we had a car break down fairly early on in the parade this year. . . but only one, which I believe is a record.)

Turning onto Rodd Street (I tried to take some pics while walking with the banner.)

Meanwhile, back on Main Street, Kris' church was coming up from a little farther back in the parade.

Back on Rodd Street, our candy was still going strong - nearly made it to the end of the parade this year, which was awesome.

Abby finished before us (obviously), and got a selfie with Brooklyn at the retirement home that's the ending point for the parade route.

Sebastian and Alayna, meanwhile, on Rodd Street, were able to get some pics of us as we came by.

Seriously couldn't ask for better marching weather this year - I was stoked.

Booya.

Rob scrambles to reload.

Erik whips some candy at the teenagers.

Coming towards the end of the parade route.

Afterwards, like we always do, everybody piled into the backseats and bed of the rented pickup truck (which was frickin' HUGE) for what was supposed to be a quick drive back to the staging point, where everyone's cars were parked.

Instead, for whatever reason, Chuck drove out to frickin' Saginaw Road and proceeded to take some long-ass way back to Revere Street, going 40 mph with the tail down and all of us hanging on for deer life in the back. No idea who thought this was a good idea.

Cruising down random side streets on the way back to the staging area, going much faster than we would have preferred.

After miraculously not dying on the drive back to the cars, we loaded up and met Steven up at Big E's for some post-parade lunch and beers. There weren't a lot of people up there, but there was only two servers working the whole joint, so service was insanely slow. We were there nearly two hours.

A bunch of the pommers and other teenagers, meanwhile, had some post-parade grub over at Pizza Sam's, downtown. This pic accurately sums up where Abby was at at that point of the day.

By the time I got back to the house, the girls - and these two assholes - were setting up outside for a multi-hour bronzing session in the backyard.

Kris, Alayna, Abby, and Ella were oiled up and working on those base tans so they didn't fry like lobsters in the blistering Florida sun.

I was quick to join them (though due to the crazy amount of yard work I've been putting in the last couple weeks, I already have a decent base to begin with.)

Dogs being dogs.

Hours of this. Seems boring, but I frickin' love it.

So there you go, gang - another Memorial Day Parade in the books. We'll see ya next year.

- Brian

Collierpalooza and a Parade

Hi, gang.

Continuing 2024's trend of 'not-as-crazy-as-last-year,' Memorial Day 2024 was definitely a more low-key affair this year compared to previous years. 

This year marked the first time in about, oh, four years, that we haven't gone up to Eight Point Lake for Memorial Day. The sea lake level up there is so low that the lake doesn't even reach the sea wall lining the shore, and as such the lake is too shallow to pull the boats out. In order to even use them this year, my dad had to buy an additional, 20-foot piece of dock in order to move the boat launch into deeper water, and that couldn't be installed until early June.

So, at this point, we're not even sure if we're returning to the lake until July. If even then.

It was supposed to rain throughout the evening of Collier's big party, which was super disappointing, so he had to adjust his itinerary a bit. He bumped the party up to start at 3pm instead of 6pm, which worked out great for Erik and I, seeing how we have to wake up relatively early tomorrow in order to march in the parade with the Freemasons again.

With Eight Point a non-entity this year, we really only had Colliers' annual Memorial Day Party - Collierpalooza (one of our tribe's most highly-anticipated parties of the year, right alongside the Houghs' Halloween shin-digs) - and Midland's Parade to contend with. What really put a damper on our weekend's festivities this year was the weather, which was downright crappy. Where as last year it was sunny and in the low 80s all weekend - about as perfect as you could get - this year it was overcast and in the low 70s, with scattered showers that threatened us at every turn. 

Kelli (who had started drinking around, like 11am) and Deanna.

Mitch doesn't even have his pool open yet, what's the point? Ain't nobody swimming in this bullshit.

So all things considered, we kept things a lot more low-key this year. Didn't eat or drink nearly as much as I usually do, so I guess that's a good thing. But I also didn't get as much bronzing opportunity in, which sucks. A party and a parade, and one, small blog post commemorating both (you usually get two or three for this weekend, but what can I say - this year's much lamer than usual.) 

I'll leave you now to peruse this year's installment of Memorial Day pics and video. 

Behold. . .

Courtney and Kelli

Mitch hooks up the Blackstone while Collier works on burgers and dogs.

Like usual, folks brought over dishes - grill offerings, sides and desserts - to contribute to the feast. If there's anything this group does well, it's eat.

Kris made it a point to take pictures this evening (I may have given her hell for not taking pictures, she never f***ing does.)

Dudes standing around, waiting for food.

Abby, Ella and the Cannonball.

Taco offerings, wings, ribs, bacon-wrapped pork, bacon-wrapped jalapenos, meat/cheese wraps, burgers, tri-tip - you name it, folks. Factor food like this in along with the fact most of us drink like we're still in college at these parties, it's insane that we don't all weigh 300 lbs. 

Abby and Ella square off against Jackson and some other teenage boy in some cornhole (another staple of this group of ours.)

The Colliers once again ordered a bounce house for their big party - they kinda blow everyone out of the water with their parties, I certainly wouldn't order a bounce house for a party - but they were inviting a lot of other families that we usually don't hang out with that had smaller kids (all of our kids are starting to grow out of the whole bounce house phase.)

The Cannonball, not getting down with the whole bounce house thing.

Erik and I watching the cornhole match.

Folks still grazing on the deck.

Danielle, her brother (forget his name), and Yours Truly.

This bitch.

On Memorial Day, we honor those animals that gave their lives for our sustenance. #NeverForget

Omkar, Baby Driver, and Lonnie Big Balls.

I don't know who half of these people are - Collier invites folks from his other friend group (like college buddies and stuff) that we never associate with. Kinda feel bad for ignoring them throughout the day, buuuuuut. . . . screw it. Not my friends.

Some hens, clucking.

Erik, Morgan, Lonnie, some super handsome guy, and Omkar.

Danielle, Kris, Deanna, Courtney, Amy, and Mees.

Kris and I got a couple selfie at one point, we don't usually think to do crap like this. Gotta let the world know we still tolerate each other.

Last year Collier booked local musician Brett Mitchell for his party, but that guy was booked this year so Collier had to go with some other dude (I forget his name.) 

Like Mitchell, this guy played your usual pop/rock standards of the last 50 years - the sorta stuff you can play on a guitar by yourself and people know all the words too. Some country, some classic rock, some modern pop/rock, etc. Pretty run-of-the-mill, but the guy did it with competence.

Dads playing cornhole.

(Not sure what's going on with Morgan's neck, here.)

Collier nabs a group selfie with the Kings of the Hill (and the Cannonball.)

Morgan and Rob.

Kris looks like she has a hunchback in this pic.

'Merica.

Kelli's super stoked about something.

Kris busts into some impromptu ballet.

Pee break.

For the record, I don't like playing cornhole against Morgan. F*** that guy.

Bunch a' sluts.

At some point in the evening, I went inside to use the restroom, but the downstairs bathroom was occupied. I went upstairs to use that one and the toilet was all blocked up, filled with toilet paper and the water level in the bowl filled up to the lip of the seat. I high-tailed it out of there and used the one downstairs, then totally forgot to say anything about it to anyone. Fast forward a couple hours later, someone's kid trying flushing the upstairs toilet and it began to overflow (obviously), and water began dripping through one of the kitchen light fixtures. In the middle of the party. Pee water coming from the ceiling. Frickin' disgusting.

You can tell it's getting to summer when my face is noticeably more tan than my eyelids . . . what the hell.

The Kings of the Hill. From Left to Right: Damn It Tom, Erik the Red, The Colonel, Baby Driver, Omkar, The Dutch Jew, Lonnie Big Balls, and Ry-Guy.

Squaw stole my hat.

A few boozed-up moms, dancing to whatever the hell this guy was playing.

'Cause freedom.

Around 6pm, the radar on folks' phones was showing impending doom. Us guys threw up a few tent canopies (including ours, on the right) in Collier's driveway that you see here, and helped the hired musician to pack up all his gear, amps, cords, and whatever. The moms, meanwhile, scrambled to pack up all the food and re-spread it out in their kitchen so folks could continue to graze. The plan was to hunker down in his garage, under the canopies, or indoors, and wait out the rain - we just had no idea how long it was going to take.

Folks begin to collect their stuff in wake of the coming doom. Most of the people not associated with our group took off at this point.

With Mitch and Erik.

Sheltering in the garage once the clouds opened up, Courtney and Kris found themselves some bench seating.

Playing some beer pong - not usually done at the Collier residence, this is more of a Hough Halloween sorta thing.

We ended up hanging out in the garage for a couple hours, but most folks were taking off due to the rain.

Several rounds of pudding shots (Mees does an amazing job with these.)

One final shot of the night, around 10:30pn, when Kris and I took off. Folks stayed for another hour or so, but I wanted to get home and get some sleep - I had to be up relatively early the next morning for Midland's Memorial Day Parade.

Erik and Tom met up at my house around 8:45am the next morning. Collier and Morgan had said the previous night that they would come along to hang out, but both were too hungover to manage this. So. ,just a trio this time, we whipped up some Bloody Marys and began loading up our Lodge banner, signs, parade candy, and other crap needed for the parade into this giant, space truck )that Morgan lent us from his new Ford dealership in Mt. Pleasant.)

Hell of a dash screen in this thing - Jesus H. Christ.

By 9:15, we had established headquarters at our designated staging location and affixed all the signs to the truck (we had our usual Centre Lodge signs I designed a few years ago, plus Morgan asked if we could slap a couple of his dealership signs on there as well.)

A couple Eastern Star ladies asked if they could march along with us and the Shriners this year, which was fine. Eastern Star, by the way, is the one Masonic body that admits women (kind of a handout to the fairer sex, I'm sure eighty years ago a lot of housewives were feeling left out that their husbands were always away being involved in Lodge, Scottish Rite, Templars, whatever and so the guys threw 'em a bone.) We not longer have an Eastern Star chapter in Midland, haven't in years, and there's zero interest in bringing it back (these women asked us this morning if we'd ever want to, and we told them no - they didn't like that) - there's zero chance Kris would ever be down with joining something like that.

Getting the banner all ready to roll. We had had some residual storms pass through in the morning, so it was still windy and sprinkling as we were getting set up. The rain passed before the parade started (thank God), but it continued to be a bit breezy out, and even before we hit Main Street once the parade started one of the senior guys from Lodge decided we'd have to roll up the banner since it was blowing everywhere. We tried telling him that once we turned a corner it'd be fine - the banner helps identify who we are, it's kind of a big deal - but he was listening. Whatever, asshole.

Some of the assembled Masonic turnout this year. Some guys from Lodge, from Shriners, Bay City's Joppa Lodge, and those two weird ladies from Eastern Star. Getting volunteers to come out and walk a few miles in the parade is nearly impossible every year, but especially so when rain was in the forecast - spooked a lot of people away. I hate organizing this frickin' thing. 

Shriner Mini Cars. This year they didn't even have enough people turn out to help drive, so one of the young guys from Bay City - not even one of our Lodge guys - was tasked with driving around the mini-car. I mean, it'd be fun and everything, but still. . .

Erik and I.

Chris, Carl and Evan (holding up the banner while we still had it out and unfurled.)

Heading into Main Street (not the absence of said banner at this point, just as the parade was starting - for f***'s sake). Kris took a few pics from her vantage point in front of First United Methodist downtown, as she had helped get them set up for their contribution to the parade this morning.

Waving, throwing candy, wearing aprons - the usual.

Mini-cars, zooming by.

The guys in formation.

Here's us on Rodd Street, about halfway through the parade route.

We did a lot better with candy this year - the previous two years we had run out long before the end of the parade, so this year we stocked up a bit more and only ran out towards the end of the route.

After the parade, hitching a ride back to the cars. After dumping our stuff off at Lodge, Erik, Tom and I went out to Big E's again for some post-parade lunch (like we did the last year or two, though I neglected to take any pics this time around.) This year's parade wasn't nearly as fun as the previous two years - the rain had disrupted things too much, so turnout was thinner than in previous years (both in terms of crowd and volunteers), and we weren't as organized as before. The banner and us marchers should have been in front of the truck so that we could walk back and grab supplies as needed, instead of sprinting forward to get candy when we ran out. And not having the banner is a sore spot, that's how folks know who we are, for Christ's sake. Oh well, we'll see how it goes next year. . .

- Brian