Collierpalooza and a Parade

Hi, gang.

Continuing 2024's trend of 'not-as-crazy-as-last-year,' Memorial Day 2024 was definitely a more low-key affair this year compared to previous years. 

This year marked the first time in about, oh, four years, that we haven't gone up to Eight Point Lake for Memorial Day. The sea lake level up there is so low that the lake doesn't even reach the sea wall lining the shore, and as such the lake is too shallow to pull the boats out. In order to even use them this year, my dad had to buy an additional, 20-foot piece of dock in order to move the boat launch into deeper water, and that couldn't be installed until early June.

So, at this point, we're not even sure if we're returning to the lake until July. If even then.

It was supposed to rain throughout the evening of Collier's big party, which was super disappointing, so he had to adjust his itinerary a bit. He bumped the party up to start at 3pm instead of 6pm, which worked out great for Erik and I, seeing how we have to wake up relatively early tomorrow in order to march in the parade with the Freemasons again.

With Eight Point a non-entity this year, we really only had Colliers' annual Memorial Day Party - Collierpalooza (one of our tribe's most highly-anticipated parties of the year, right alongside the Houghs' Halloween shin-digs) - and Midland's Parade to contend with. What really put a damper on our weekend's festivities this year was the weather, which was downright crappy. Where as last year it was sunny and in the low 80s all weekend - about as perfect as you could get - this year it was overcast and in the low 70s, with scattered showers that threatened us at every turn. 

Kelli (who had started drinking around, like 11am) and Deanna.

Mitch doesn't even have his pool open yet, what's the point? Ain't nobody swimming in this bullshit.

So all things considered, we kept things a lot more low-key this year. Didn't eat or drink nearly as much as I usually do, so I guess that's a good thing. But I also didn't get as much bronzing opportunity in, which sucks. A party and a parade, and one, small blog post commemorating both (you usually get two or three for this weekend, but what can I say - this year's much lamer than usual.) 

I'll leave you now to peruse this year's installment of Memorial Day pics and video. 

Behold. . .

Courtney and Kelli

Mitch hooks up the Blackstone while Collier works on burgers and dogs.

Like usual, folks brought over dishes - grill offerings, sides and desserts - to contribute to the feast. If there's anything this group does well, it's eat.

Kris made it a point to take pictures this evening (I may have given her hell for not taking pictures, she never f***ing does.)

Dudes standing around, waiting for food.

Abby, Ella and the Cannonball.

Taco offerings, wings, ribs, bacon-wrapped pork, bacon-wrapped jalapenos, meat/cheese wraps, burgers, tri-tip - you name it, folks. Factor food like this in along with the fact most of us drink like we're still in college at these parties, it's insane that we don't all weigh 300 lbs. 

Abby and Ella square off against Jackson and some other teenage boy in some cornhole (another staple of this group of ours.)

The Colliers once again ordered a bounce house for their big party - they kinda blow everyone out of the water with their parties, I certainly wouldn't order a bounce house for a party - but they were inviting a lot of other families that we usually don't hang out with that had smaller kids (all of our kids are starting to grow out of the whole bounce house phase.)

The Cannonball, not getting down with the whole bounce house thing.

Erik and I watching the cornhole match.

Folks still grazing on the deck.

Danielle, her brother (forget his name), and Yours Truly.

This bitch.

On Memorial Day, we honor those animals that gave their lives for our sustenance. #NeverForget

Omkar, Baby Driver, and Lonnie Big Balls.

I don't know who half of these people are - Collier invites folks from his other friend group (like college buddies and stuff) that we never associate with. Kinda feel bad for ignoring them throughout the day, buuuuuut. . . . screw it. Not my friends.

Some hens, clucking.

Erik, Morgan, Lonnie, some super handsome guy, and Omkar.

Danielle, Kris, Deanna, Courtney, Amy, and Mees.

Kris and I got a couple selfie at one point, we don't usually think to do crap like this. Gotta let the world know we still tolerate each other.

Last year Collier booked local musician Brett Mitchell for his party, but that guy was booked this year so Collier had to go with some other dude (I forget his name.) 

Like Mitchell, this guy played your usual pop/rock standards of the last 50 years - the sorta stuff you can play on a guitar by yourself and people know all the words too. Some country, some classic rock, some modern pop/rock, etc. Pretty run-of-the-mill, but the guy did it with competence.

Dads playing cornhole.

(Not sure what's going on with Morgan's neck, here.)

Collier nabs a group selfie with the Kings of the Hill (and the Cannonball.)

Morgan and Rob.

Kris looks like she has a hunchback in this pic.

'Merica.

Kelli's super stoked about something.

Kris busts into some impromptu ballet.

Pee break.

For the record, I don't like playing cornhole against Morgan. F*** that guy.

Bunch a' sluts.

At some point in the evening, I went inside to use the restroom, but the downstairs bathroom was occupied. I went upstairs to use that one and the toilet was all blocked up, filled with toilet paper and the water level in the bowl filled up to the lip of the seat. I high-tailed it out of there and used the one downstairs, then totally forgot to say anything about it to anyone. Fast forward a couple hours later, someone's kid trying flushing the upstairs toilet and it began to overflow (obviously), and water began dripping through one of the kitchen light fixtures. In the middle of the party. Pee water coming from the ceiling. Frickin' disgusting.

You can tell it's getting to summer when my face is noticeably more tan than my eyelids . . . what the hell.

The Kings of the Hill. From Left to Right: Damn It Tom, Erik the Red, The Colonel, Baby Driver, Omkar, The Dutch Jew, Lonnie Big Balls, and Ry-Guy.

Squaw stole my hat.

A few boozed-up moms, dancing to whatever the hell this guy was playing.

'Cause freedom.

Around 6pm, the radar on folks' phones was showing impending doom. Us guys threw up a few tent canopies (including ours, on the right) in Collier's driveway that you see here, and helped the hired musician to pack up all his gear, amps, cords, and whatever. The moms, meanwhile, scrambled to pack up all the food and re-spread it out in their kitchen so folks could continue to graze. The plan was to hunker down in his garage, under the canopies, or indoors, and wait out the rain - we just had no idea how long it was going to take.

Folks begin to collect their stuff in wake of the coming doom. Most of the people not associated with our group took off at this point.

With Mitch and Erik.

Sheltering in the garage once the clouds opened up, Courtney and Kris found themselves some bench seating.

Playing some beer pong - not usually done at the Collier residence, this is more of a Hough Halloween sorta thing.

We ended up hanging out in the garage for a couple hours, but most folks were taking off due to the rain.

Several rounds of pudding shots (Mees does an amazing job with these.)

One final shot of the night, around 10:30pn, when Kris and I took off. Folks stayed for another hour or so, but I wanted to get home and get some sleep - I had to be up relatively early the next morning for Midland's Memorial Day Parade.

Erik and Tom met up at my house around 8:45am the next morning. Collier and Morgan had said the previous night that they would come along to hang out, but both were too hungover to manage this. So. ,just a trio this time, we whipped up some Bloody Marys and began loading up our Lodge banner, signs, parade candy, and other crap needed for the parade into this giant, space truck )that Morgan lent us from his new Ford dealership in Mt. Pleasant.)

Hell of a dash screen in this thing - Jesus H. Christ.

By 9:15, we had established headquarters at our designated staging location and affixed all the signs to the truck (we had our usual Centre Lodge signs I designed a few years ago, plus Morgan asked if we could slap a couple of his dealership signs on there as well.)

A couple Eastern Star ladies asked if they could march along with us and the Shriners this year, which was fine. Eastern Star, by the way, is the one Masonic body that admits women (kind of a handout to the fairer sex, I'm sure eighty years ago a lot of housewives were feeling left out that their husbands were always away being involved in Lodge, Scottish Rite, Templars, whatever and so the guys threw 'em a bone.) We not longer have an Eastern Star chapter in Midland, haven't in years, and there's zero interest in bringing it back (these women asked us this morning if we'd ever want to, and we told them no - they didn't like that) - there's zero chance Kris would ever be down with joining something like that.

Getting the banner all ready to roll. We had had some residual storms pass through in the morning, so it was still windy and sprinkling as we were getting set up. The rain passed before the parade started (thank God), but it continued to be a bit breezy out, and even before we hit Main Street once the parade started one of the senior guys from Lodge decided we'd have to roll up the banner since it was blowing everywhere. We tried telling him that once we turned a corner it'd be fine - the banner helps identify who we are, it's kind of a big deal - but he was listening. Whatever, asshole.

Some of the assembled Masonic turnout this year. Some guys from Lodge, from Shriners, Bay City's Joppa Lodge, and those two weird ladies from Eastern Star. Getting volunteers to come out and walk a few miles in the parade is nearly impossible every year, but especially so when rain was in the forecast - spooked a lot of people away. I hate organizing this frickin' thing. 

Shriner Mini Cars. This year they didn't even have enough people turn out to help drive, so one of the young guys from Bay City - not even one of our Lodge guys - was tasked with driving around the mini-car. I mean, it'd be fun and everything, but still. . .

Erik and I.

Chris, Carl and Evan (holding up the banner while we still had it out and unfurled.)

Heading into Main Street (not the absence of said banner at this point, just as the parade was starting - for f***'s sake). Kris took a few pics from her vantage point in front of First United Methodist downtown, as she had helped get them set up for their contribution to the parade this morning.

Waving, throwing candy, wearing aprons - the usual.

Mini-cars, zooming by.

The guys in formation.

Here's us on Rodd Street, about halfway through the parade route.

We did a lot better with candy this year - the previous two years we had run out long before the end of the parade, so this year we stocked up a bit more and only ran out towards the end of the route.

After the parade, hitching a ride back to the cars. After dumping our stuff off at Lodge, Erik, Tom and I went out to Big E's again for some post-parade lunch (like we did the last year or two, though I neglected to take any pics this time around.) This year's parade wasn't nearly as fun as the previous two years - the rain had disrupted things too much, so turnout was thinner than in previous years (both in terms of crowd and volunteers), and we weren't as organized as before. The banner and us marchers should have been in front of the truck so that we could walk back and grab supplies as needed, instead of sprinting forward to get candy when we ran out. And not having the banner is a sore spot, that's how folks know who we are, for Christ's sake. Oh well, we'll see how it goes next year. . .

- Brian