Fondudes

Happy Quasi-Post Holidays, Internet.

I know Christmas is technically over and done with already, but there's still Yule to be had, and this year the Houghs added a festive footnote to our 2014 Holiday season.

Fondue with the Voigts.  A Christmas staple.

Check it out:

Preparing for a post-Christmas, fondue night at the Voigts. 

Alayna's really been enjoying the make-up kit she got for Christmas - she volunteers to do Abby's make-up all the time. . .

Again, I could poke fun of this, but it's better than what I could do, so I'll stop.

Jack can't eat chocolate fast enough. . .

Not healthy.  At all.

Kris loves doing dishes.

Abby awaits snacks.  Not so patiently.

Virgil Q's Dixieland Kazoo Revue, version 2.0

Stop.  Hammer time.

Abusing Adam is a favorite past-time while visiting with the Voigts.

I can't begin to explain how happy I was that they were pestering Adam for this and not me.

Funned out.

Pajama party.

The Cannonball's always so Goddamn cooperative for posed photo ops. . .

Voigt/Hough Christmas '15

- Brian

Jam Sessions, Star Wars, and More Random Nonsense from November

Welcome back to the land of weirdness.

I haven't posted randoms in awhile.  So here you go - some day-to-day crap from the once-ninth month of the year. . .

The Cannonball gets a lot of attention around the house when it comes to playing music (usually in the form of us pulling our hair out over her reluctance to practice her violin), but lately we've been making more of an effort to include Abby in learning instruments, as she's past the age when we started introducing it to Alayna.

The strings on her violin need to be changed in the worst way, and so until her instructor can replace them she has to pluck the strings with her fingers instead of using the bow (FYI - if you've ever wanted to know what a cat sounds like being sodomized, try dragging a bow across some worn-out violin strings.)

Abby explains to me how you're supposed to play the ukulele.

Impromptu jam session.

She wanted to try out the guitar.  I don't think its her size.

Trying to play her violin sheet music with her uke.

Clearing out some shelf space for next week's Christmas decor invasion. . .

As previously discussed, Alayna asked for a drum set for Christmas.  Although we have absolutely NO intention of buying her one for Christmas, I still thought she'd enjoy hitting up the Guitar Center around the corner in order to check out the available sets and price a few things out.  For a junior-sized drum set - like the Ludwig set designed by ?uestlove you see in the background of the pic above - you're looking at dropping at least $300 or $400. . . and that's before you buy the cymbals and stands.  Sure, you can get a $100 set that includes a bass drum, a snare, a tom, and a cymbal. . . but that's little more than a toy, and I forbid any Hough from drumming on such nonsense.

One of Alayna's book report projects for school (I think she used some Fancy Nancy book for this. . . something to do with cupcakes.)  Kris, of course, had to make sure that Alayna's project and presentation was leaps and bounds beyond what was expected.

Kris had the girls working a game booth for Sunchild at a local Relay for Life event. . .

A Bozo the Clown staple

Our kids take awesome pictures.

Crafty.

(I think this lady works for some kind of gymnastics program. . .)

. . . or Ninja School.  I like the sound of 'Ninja School' way better.

Of course they had bounce houses.

AFLAC

Rocking some cold weather clothing for school (scoff if you want, but we've had some chilly weather down here lately.)

Abby bought this Noah's Ark thing at her Sunday school with some Bible Bucks.  She's obsessed with it.  Who knows why.

You know you've raised nerds when your offspring demand a private lesson in Ancient History on a Saturday morning. . .

The girls are getting to that age where they don't want to be disturbed in the bathroom.  Not looking forward to the next twelve years. . .

In closing, I'd like to share something with all of you.  Actually, I'd like to brag about it, if I may.

As you all know, for the last three or four years, I've attempted - in vain - to introduce my offspring to the almighty cinematic gloriousness of the Star Wars saga.  Alas, all of my attempts to get them into the series have been in vain - the kids just weren't having it.

Until now.

I'm not sure what it was this time around that worked - maybe it was Alayna being six, maybe the planets were properly aligned, who knows - but both kids were hooked.  I decided to utilize the infamous 'Machete Order' in introducing the girls to Star Wars, as it is - by far - the best way to view the saga (unless you can get your hands on one of those fan-made two-hour-long edit jobs that summarize the first two movies in an hour-and-a-half and cut all the crap out of the prequels.

I highly recommend you check out the order's merits on Youtube or Google, but - in a nutshell - here's how it works:

You start off with A New Hope, as God intended, but then after you wrap up Empire, you hit the brakes and back pedal to Episode II and III.  Then, when you round out the movies with Return of the Jedi, that final battle between Luke and Vader becomes all the more climactic, and you can truly appreciate the scope of what's happening, having worked your way through the back story.

Wait a minute, you might be thinking, what about Episode I?  How come that's nowhere to be found in this viewing order?

That's why it's called the Machete Order, folks - Jar Jar, all that blabity-blah concerning metaclorians, and every other terrible, nauseating, gut-wrenchingly bad aspect of Episode I had been cut out the Star Wars saga.  With a f***ing machete.

. . .and balance has been brought to the Force.

If you want proof about just how badass this viewing order is, check out the following clip:

- Brian

Raising JamMasters

I always grew up thinking that when I finally got around to having my own kids, they'd be brought up with music being an important part of their life.  Should be a no-brainer, honestly - me and my brothers were brought up around music, and all of us grew up learning how to play multiple instruments.  I've always wanted the same for my kids.

Of course, when you're in your twenties, saying things like 'I'm gonna get my kids into punk rock when they're toddlers' is 100% understandable.  When you're in your twenties, you're an idiot.  There's no way a little kid's going to prefer abstract music genres like punk over dumbed-down pop music.  Pop music is designed to appeal to and ensnare the masses; it's truly the Michael Bay of music genres, so of course it's going to attract young listeners who haven't developed sound musical tastes.

This is even more true when it comes to little girls, believe me.  Try as I may, my daughters prefer Alvin and the Chipmunks' covers of current pop songs to the Ramones or the Stones.

 It's like being stabbed in the heart with a flint knife every single day.

Still, there's a glimmer of hope that I've been clinging to over the course of the last year or so.  Alayna listens to '80s girl rock once and awhile - I made her a playlist on her iPod Touch featuring a 'greatest hits' compilation from girl groups like Cyndi Lauper, the Bangles, the Go-Gos, Heart, Pat Benatar, Joan Jett, etc.  It's definitely a step up from the bullshit female 'musicians' are pumping out these days.

In addition, Alayna's really picking up the violin lately.  Because she's going to Daisies again (think miniature Girl Scouts) every other Tuesday, we changed violin lessons from the usual every Tuesday thing to an every other Tuesday thing in order to make room for her "den meetings" (or whatever the female equivalent of that is called.)  Music lessons every two weeks seems to be a lot easier on her, and she's progressing a lot faster.  This is awesome, because now when she practices the violin it doesn't sound so much like a cat being skinned in our house, and I'm very appreciative of this.

Roommate jam session (note: no one in this picture is actually playing their instrument correctly.)

Abby, in the meantime, has started expressing interest in learning an instrument as well.  We tried piano once or twice, but, like her older sister before her, she was attentive for a minute or two before losing her attention span completely.  The keyboard's many different song tracks and instrument settings aren't the best features to engage a four-year-old.  I need to buy a real piano.

Ukin'

C (sort of)

The ukulele, however, seems to be much more her style.  Alayna can play C, F, G, A and D chords now, and is working on alternating between them.  Abby just learned C the other day (the easiest major chord you can play), and was pretty stoked about it.  I'm hoping she keeps up this enthusiasm for music, like her sister has.  Then maybe I can buy a drum set and we can start a family band, like the Partridge Family.

Rock and roll.

- Brian