The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXVIII

What's up, fan base.

We're officially in the Holiday Season now, so it should go without saying that Yours Truly is already hilt-deep in his record collection, scrounging up Christmas treasures won from various record stores, thrift shops, and. . . well, Amazon.

For the last two years, I've shared with you one of my all-time favorite - and borderline obsessive compulsive - Holiday pastimes:  the audio scrutinization and analysis of every last Holiday record in my ever-expanding record collection.  This year is no different, folks - I've got a horde of new albums to review, some fake logs on my gas fireplace, and some yuletide 'nog all set and ready to rock and roll this evening.

So throw on your Santa hats, fetch yourself a holiday cocktail, and let us do this. . .

Album Title:  Joyous Music for Christmas Time

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Okay, but before I start off with this, I should point out that I have no idea where this came from.  I've had it for a couple years now, and just haven't gotten to it in my previous year's Holiday record rating.  There's no price tags to be found, but the inner paper sleeves - while still in pretty good shape - aren't in the Near Mint condition that would give it away as being a former number from Granny's collection (which I inherited.)  These records also have some hissing surface noise to them (fortunately no pops or anything), which is odd - it tells me that this collection was well-loved and often-played.

And that, dear readers, is kinda sad, really.  For whomever previously owned this particular 4-LP box set must have had a really, really weird taste in music.

I had some high hopes going into this box set, folks, I really did.  Some of the songs are a straight-up full-choir tour-de-force, backed by roaring church organs and brass.  Kinda like if you were dragged to your Grandma's church one Sunday in December, but unlike the church your family usually goes to, your Grandma's church is one of those centuries-old, castle-like cathedrals downtown, with a shitload of stained-glass windows, a full orchestra, and a 200-person choir conducted by Basil Poledouris (see:  Conan the Barbarian.)

It's the sort of music that makes you want to celebrate the Lord's birth. . . then run to the nearest living thing and chop off it's head with a mighty broadsword.

But sadly, those few songs are about all this boxed set has to offer.

While these numbers - mostly from the first record - relish in their epic yule-ishness, the majority of this collection is more humble in arrangement and sound.  There's some quieter organ work, which sounds less like Conan and more like one of those warbly deals you can find in living rooms all over the 1970s.  We also have some '60s easy listening and some hymns.  Then some more hymns.  And also some hymns.

Then the boxed set attempts to 'kick it up a notch' with some futile attempts at operatic singing, as if you were dragged back in to your Grandma's church, where one of the old choir ladies in their congregation starts singing with delusions of grandeur.  And you have to sit there and listen to this random old lady pretend she's on some theater stage, belting out her rendition of Silent Night, all the while you're trying so hard not to laugh that you pee yourself a little.

Apart from the other three albums, one whole record in this boxed set is comprised of selections from Handel's Messiah.  If you like that classical piece, cool.  You might like this boxed set.  I personally don't have anything against it, per se, but neither am I one of those guys who drives around listening to frickin' Handel during the Holiday season.  Tchaikovsky, sure.  Handel?  Not so much.

I mean, I love Rossini and Mozart, but I don't want either of those dudes on my Christmas album, folks.

In conclusion, I'm seriously considering tossing out Records 2 and 4 from this boxed set and re-rating this collection a 6. . . but that would require getting up, walking across the Study and into the Kitchen in order to reach a trash can, and. . . well, I'm a lazy, lazy man.

VERDICT:  5/10 - Meh  (25% of this boxed set is pretty good background music, 25% is Handel's Messiah, and the other 50% is nothing but shitty music from your grandma's church.)

- SHELVED -

Randoms from November

Walking back from the Larson house after school. . .

And so we find ourselves at the end of another month, America.

November was frickin' busy. . . and abnormally warm.  Those of you who respect the knowledge of the worldwide scientific community could probably blame this in on climate change and global warming.

Those of you who are Republicans could probably blame this on Obama.

We Houghs really didn't mind the warmer weather, but towards the end of the month we were ready for the leaf-raking season to be over and done with, and embraced the colder temperatures when they finally got off their ass and decided to show up to Mid Michigan.  Looking back we definitely kept busy these last few weeks, and aside from the crap I've talked about before in previous installments this month, below is a list of random stuff that otherwise befell the Houghs 2.0.

Enjoy.

Abby reaches for some leaves to pull down (her vertical isn't quite there yet.)

Just like they did in the Primaries, the girls accompanied me to our local polling location to Vote (I had the day off, so we went up in the late morning and experienced no lines whatsoever- must've missed the before-work rush, thank God.)  Sadly, the Third Party candidate we were supporting didn't have a shot at winning, but we still wanted to show the girls the importance of backing the candidate you felt was the best choice, not necessarily the 'lesser of two evils.'

Fall debris on the back patio

Alayna had a sleepover with one of her BFFs from school, Madi.  Kris took the girls (along with Abby and her neighbor friend from across the street, Reba) out for dinner at McDonald's. . . all by herself.  I was lucky enough to stay behind and not deal with a gaggle of little girls in public.

Putting the kids to work.

Kris was in charge of Girl Scout Cookies this year for the troop she's co-leading.  I was obviously pretty cool with this gigantic stack of food in my living room.

Yes, that's in Sharpie.  Having kids sucks.

I was able to catch this dude with a telephoto just as he was making a mad dash across the street from the neighbors' house.  Homeboy really wanted that gourd.

Our lazy dog

We let the girls put up their Christmas tree in the basement the weekend before Thanksgiving, since it's not the main one and only serves as a spill-over receptacle for all the ornaments that we've deemed 'not cool enough' for our main, Hallmark-ridden tree upstairs.

(She's special.)

The not-quite-finished product (as you know from an earlier post, we bought a star for it this year.)

Picnics in the living room

We drove up for a Saturday visit to Clare one weekend, as we hadn't done so in awhile and wouldn't be around for Thanksgiving.  While we were there the girls busted out our old Bop It game (circa 1994) from the game closet downstairs.  The Extreme version was too much for the kids, but they liked the normal one.

Dad shows her how it's done. . .

Messy, messy guinea pigs.  Kris and I are starting to think we bit off more than we could chew with these furballs. . .

My shadow.

Breaking out the Christmas mugs (and that annoying Snowman that sits atop our toilet every Holiday season - the girls love him.)

Festive kitchen

Festive record collection

When Granny passed, Yours Truly took the opportunity to loot about six or seven car-loads of stuff from her house.  Among my plunder were three totes worth of Christmas decorations, including these Nutcrackers. . . which we had to ban the girls from playing with.

The Friday before Thanksgiving, as previously mentioned, is the traditional starting point for the Hough Holiday Season.  This dates back to when I had a week off of work at my old school in Orlando, and so our holidays technically started that Friday before Thanksgiving.  Staying true to tradition, I hauled up the many, many totes of Christmas crap - except for the totes containing Christmas tree ornaments, which we save until Black Friday - and had the girls help me set things up.

. . . so of course it ended up turning into a big, yule-tide fight between the two girls.

'Tis the season.

Due to the awesome warmer weather, I put the house lights up the second week of November, but didn't turn them on until Black Friday (as to not appear tacky.)  I then got to sit back and pity all of my neighbors, who waited until after Thanksgiving to put up their lights, and got to do so in 20-degree weather.

Another day, another girl scout cookie booth.  This time at a local K-Mart.

Abby and Susie

Our mountainous stack of Girl Scout Cookies in the living room and shrunk considerably. . .

Taking a break from some Holiday shopping at the Midland Mall.  Abby didn't know what this phone was all about - her brain couldn't wrap around the fact that it was plugged into a wall and you had to pay to use it.  I'm frickin' old.

Susie and Fuzzy, piggin' out over some Timothy Hay. 

Dinner and a Movie in the basement. . . in front of our not-so-big screen TV.

That's toothpaste, America.  Why did I take a picture of this, you might ask?  Because it's on THE FRICKIN' CEILING.  And Yours Truly sure as hell didn't put it there. 

First Egg Nog cocktail of the 2016 Holiday season.

Abby's troop, freezing their collective asses off at another cookie both (this time outside Family Video.)

No idea why everyone's so happy, here - it was freezing outside.

Abby's Sales Pitch

Huddle time

. . . and again at yet another Girl Scout cookie booth.  I'm SO done with cookies and girl scouts this year.

No idea where or when this was taken.  Kris doesn't help much with this blog anymore.

Alayna had a friend from school, Dani, over for a play date one Saturday. 

Kris and I bought ourselves some Fitbits this year, since we decided we're getting to the age where we need to start taking better care of ourselves.  Neither of us need to lose weight or anything like that, but we're definitely out of shape.  Motivating each other to get off our asses once and awhile can't be a bad thing, I guess.  She got the Alta and I picked up the Charge 2 (which has all the same features as the Alta, just with a bigger screen and a heart-rate monitor.)

An afternoon stroll down Raponos Drive with Dr. Watson

- Brian