Another Tour of Duty in Ohio

What's up, gangsters.

Steve and I, along with Haley from 8-1, were in charge of Bus 2.

Once again, Yours Truly had the privilege of taking 300 or so teenagers on a two-day, whirlwind field trip down to Cedar Point - the culmination of our 8th grade school year, and one of the highlights that even we teachers even look forward to. 

The weather this year for our overnight stint down in still-just-as-shitty-as-you-remember Ohio was just about perfect: it hovered in the high-70s, with full sun and not a cloud in the sky. You couldn't ask for better bronzing weather, folks.

As usual, I spent most of my time at the parks waiting for the other teachers I was roaming around with to get done with the more hardcore/scary rides (Millennium Force, Valravn, Steel Vengeance, etc.) then I'd join in for the easier-to-manage rides (Mine Ride, Blue Streak, Gatekeeper, etc.) Despite my hours of sitting on park benches, watching other folks' stuff, I still had a blast. . . and I got a gorgeous frickin' tan out of it, so no complaints here.

So here you go, America - another Cedar Point adventure for you, marking the end of the school year and the Dawn of Summer.

Behold. . .

Steve (the Math teacher on my LC) takes a nap on the way down.

Haley brought along her four-year-old for the excursion. Don't think this kid rode Valravn, either.

Priem, Coughlin, and Benkert meanwhile, on Bus 1.

Mrs. Chobod (my LC Science Teacher), her daughter Olivia and her friend Lizzie (both recent Heritage grads) on Bus 3.

That massage gun has seen some shit. . .

We arrived at the park around 11am, distributed the first day's round of admission tickets to our buses, and let kids lose into the park.

With all of the teenagers scattered to the four winds, a group of us teachers wandered off and decided to tackle Gatekeeper first. I was brave enough to knock this one out last year, and was going to do so again on this first day, but someone had to stay back with all of our backpacks, so I offered to sit out this time around and work on my tan instead.

The drop isn't as bad as you think.

Still, this is about as hardcore as Yours Truly likes to get. This is pushing it for me.

After the Gatekeeper, we walked further into the park.

Most of the first day I spent tooling around with Lacy (8-1 Science), Carlee (a sub in our building), Robin (8-1 History), and Steve.

They really wanted to do Valravn, but offered to hit up the nearby Blue Streak - the new one I wanted to try out this year - on our way there. The wait time was only, like, 20 minutes, so we knocked it out real quick.

Wasn't a big fan of this one. The drop was more nauseating than you'd think, largely on account of the fact that the old, wooden roller coasters wobbles and jostles one constantly. Today, coincidentally, was the 60th Anniversary of the ride being open at Cedar Point - to the day - which I thought was fitting.

Walking by Valravn in order for these guys to jump in the hour-long line.

You couldn't pay me enough to do this ride. Ever.

Benkert (8-1 Math), Prime (8-2 ELA), and O'Hara (8-1 ELA) in Snoopy Land (or whatever the hell it's called), knocking out little kid rides with Haley's son.

While I sat nearby and waited with their bags, these guys jumped in the longer-than-anticipated line.

Folks on the Raptor cruised overhead from where I was sitting at regular intervals. Valravn's wait time was supposedly only 45 minutes, so I set a timer on my phone and decided to carry everyone's bags around with me to check out some of the souvenir stores and kill some time.

I never found a Gatekeeper mug last year for my Cedar Point rollercoaster collection (that I keep at work for my afternoon teas), and once again I struck out. Guess I'm not getting a mug for that one. Oh well.

My phone alarm sounded after 45 minutes, and so I abandoned my ill-fated mug quest and returned to the Valravn waiting area, expecting the other teachers to be off the ride. They weren't even halfway through the line, though, and after another half hour or so I finally spotted them on the stairs leading up to the final stretch of the line (at bottom left of this pic,)

You can spot Steve, Robin and Carlee in the front row to the left - I was able to take this as they made their way out of the station and up the way-too-steep incline that starts the ride. . .

Being in the front row of this ride is beyond my abilities as a human being.

Hung in suspense over the edge of the first drop, which is actually inverted so that as you fall you can't see the track ahead of you. . . even in the front row.

NOPE.

Looks like they're having a great time, sure.

After Valravn, we walked through the covered walkway into Frontierland (or whatever the hell it's called at Cedar Point). . .

(This is much more my speed.)

Wouldn't be a Cedar Point trip without a pic of teachers in the stocks.

This ride must open up later in the summer, I feel that the last few times we've been here it's been closed.

My all-time favorite ride at Cedar Point. A slight click above Disney's Thunder Mountain Railroad, for sure.

I'll take a low-key, wooden roller coaster any day of the week, folks.

Meanwhile, across the park, Benkert, Priem and Albertson (from Bus 4, the Special Ed teacher on my LC) rode the train.

Lacy and Carlee wanted to do this nauseating swing ride. And make not-appropriate-for-teachers hand gestures.

I've seen adults puke on this one before. Almost every time I watch it. No thank you.

Nothing about this looks fun, guys.

This looks fun, though.

Around 5pm, all the staff met up at Famous Dave's for dinner.

This place specializes in barbecue, and I got some pepper jack chicken sandwich that, for the most part, was okay. . . but the chicken was like 95% cooked. Safe enough, but the texture was off and I couldn't finish it.

The wait time for Valravn had lessened considerably by the time we were done with dinner, so some of the teachers decided to jump back in line for it. Steve sat out this time, and we hung out and watched everyone's stuff while they tried to keep down the dinner we had literally just wolfed down.

After meeting up with all the teenagers at the front carousel at 7pm, we loaded up all the kids back on to our respective buses, did a head count, then set off for the hotel in order to get everyone settle for the night.

The hotel we were staying at was located on the peninsula, so we just had to drive around the perimeter of the park for, like, five minutes. The bus - filled with sweaty, sunburned teens, stank like pure shit, rest assured.

The Breakers.

We've stayed at this place every year but my first year on this trip, back in 2017, and it's awesome.

Once again, the pool no one got to enjoy.

Being the only two male teachers on the trip this year (like usual), Steve and I had our own room.

With all the kids recorded in their delegated rooms, we placed scotch tape over their doors (so we'd know if they opened up their doors during the night), and Cedar Point police began to patrol the hallways. In all the year I've been doing this, we've never once had a kid out of their room, the system works incredibly well. It does take about an hour or so to get all the kids settled in their rooms - distributing medication, allowing kids to use the ice machines, etc. - but we've all done this for years, so it goes smoothly.

With the kids settled, the staff relocated to the main lobby of the hotel for a debriefing of the first day and to address any issues that had arisen (nothing serious, just usual teenage drama.)

This hotel is old, but really, really nice. I'd hate to be a family on vacation staying at this place while a school trip is quartered nearby, but whatever - not my problem.

Carlee, Priem, and Benkert. We debriefed for a couple hours then turned in for the night.

The next morning, bright and early, we went around and began knocking on kids' doors, waking them up. This was the view from the boys' floor elevator landing (you can see the out-of-commission Dragster to the left and the Magnum to the right.)

Not sure what any of these rides are, but I'm pretty sure that blue one is the Gatekeeper, which I tackled later on in the day.

Once we cleared all the rooms, we had students take their stuff down to the awaiting charter buses in order to stow their overnight stuff, then head off to the breakfast pavilion before hitting up the park for Day 2.

Steve and Bus 2.

Hungry teens race to the pavilion for an all-you-can-eat breakfast.

Good bronzing weather set for Day 2 (thank God.)

The pavilion was located at a side entrance to the park, a short walk from our hotel.

We kinda had the bum's rush in here, you can tell the waiting staff was trying to get us in and out of there as quick as humanly possible, but at least everyone was fed.

The staff ate last, talking over minor incidents that had arisen with ticket distribution throughout the morning. The kids all got into the park successfully, though, so nothing too crazy to mess with.

Benkert had to be wheeled around in a chair for the entirety of Day 2, seeing how she had surgery on both her knees this year and overdid it on Day 1. Priem was nice enough to wheel the cripple around.

A group of teachers decided to hit up what is probably the most daunting ride at the park (one Kris used to love riding when we came here, like, 25 years ago.) Steve and Carrie waited outside for the riders with me, not wanting to do anything too crazy this early in the morning (we had an hour's worth of early-access for staying on property, so the wait times for the crazier rides weren't too bad at all.)

This park is honestly only a sound investment if you either a.) love thrill rides, or b.) love sitting in the sun and waiting for others to finish riding. 

The next ride folks did was the Magnum (you can see Carrie's tie-dye shirt in the middle there, with the rest of the folks seated around her.) Steve and I sat behind and watched their slow ascent to the top.

After the Magnum, Shelly's daughter and her friend wanted to pay extra to do this slingshot ride.

Being thrown into the sky on nothing but bungee cords isn't my idea of fun.

The next stop was Steel Vengeance, which was finally open after being closed all day before on account of some ride malfunction (seriously.) This is probably the second most intense ride at the park, so Steve and I once again sat it out and waited.

Staff, awaiting the last riders.

With everyone finished up with Steel Vengeance - which took two hours to get through the line - we met up with a bunch of our students who begged Steve and I to ride the Gatekeeper with them. We boarded the train to take us back across the length of the park in order to knock it out.

Ah, Boneville. . .

This campy amusement is along both sides of the train on your way from the back of the park to the front entrance. I love me some campy skeletons. . .

Homeboy just wanted some privacy, for Christ's sake. . .

The Gatekeeper. More intense than I remembered last year, but it was fun. Had to explain to kids after my behavior on this ride that adults shouldn't swear and that I was sorry for using colorful language not befitting of a Social Studies teacher.

Around 5pm, we once again rallied all our teenagers at the front carousel to begin boarding the buses for the long ride back to Saginaw. . .

Heading out to the buses, once all heads were counted.

The first few hours of the trip were uneventful, and those adults who were lucky enough managed to get some quick naps in.

Traffic, as always, was spotty, but nothing too crazy for most of our trip back up North.

Then, about an hour south of Saginaw, our bus merged into the left lane and side-swiped a passing car that had fallen into our driver's blind spot. The bus of teens began screaming in fear, and our driver was able to maneuver the bus back on the side of the road. Fortunately, the accident was minor and no one was hurt in the slightest (the impact was so minor I thought we had swiped a guardrail, honestly.). Our driver stopped and got out, checking with the other driver and even, at one point, placing his headset (with the driver's supervisor already on the line) on the young motorist's head so they could exchange information. During this entire exchange our bus full of 8th graders had their phones out, recording pics and video that was quickly shared out on social media. We were only parked for, like, 10-15 minutes, then resumed our trip north. By the time we got back to our school, the other buses had already off-loaded their passengers and were long gone, and we arrived to applause and lots and lots of questions. After seeing all of our kids off to their parents, and debriefing with other teachers and administrators who had quickly sent out damage-control messages to concerned parents, I was back on the road for home, getting back to Midland around 10:30pm. Another successful Cedar Point trip in the books, folks - see ya next year!

- Brian