Santa, a Train, and Ninety Minutes in the Freezing Cold

Season's Greetings, cuties.

This Holiday season's been really, really weird, folks.  Maybe it's the fact that it's a week shorter this year, seeing how Thanksgiving fell one week later in November than it usually does - who knows.  Whatever the case, Kris and I have really been dropping the ball with all things Christmas-y this year:  we've been half-assing the whole Elf on the Shelf thing, we haven't gotten around to Christmas Cards yet (not sure if we're even doing it this year, seeing how we're already half-way through December), and the kids haven't even been to frickin' Bronners.

Good grief.

Anyway, we were able to remedy at least one of our parental deficiencies today:  we hauled our kids downtown to Midland's famous Santa House so the kids could greet 'Santa.'  This year was more than a little awkward - neither kid sat on his lap (they're to the age where they're a little too old for that), so they just kinda stood facing him and told him what they wanted.

Midland's City Court House - all decked out to the 9's for the Holidays. . .

Gotta love meet-and-greets with Mr. Claus.

Anyway, here's how we spent that two-hour mandatory Christmas outing.  Kris and the girls got to ride a train, I froze my ass off standing in line for over an hour, and the girls got their last-minute wish items in.

Happy frickin' Christmas, everybody. . .

Downtown Midland and Santa's train.  The Santa House opens up on certain days at 1:30pm, so Kris and I had tried getting the kids out the door by 1:00pm in order to drive down, find a good parking spot, and snag a spot in line before the line backed up too long.  Alas, the girls took forever getting around this afternoon, so we didn't get down there until 1:40 or so.  By that time, the line was backed up down the sidewalk, so I grudingly assumed a position in line while Kris walked the girls down to the train to pass some time.

A train on wheels?  Clearly they don't understand how trains operate up there in the North Pole. . .

The girls didn't have to wait long to board the train - nearly everybody was waiting in line, like me.

More weird selfies with mom.

About an hour later, after the girls' train ride around Midland - and after Kris ran across the street to pick up a couple plates of cinnamon rolls from her church, First United Methodist - the rest of my family joined me in line.  By that point in time, I was right up against Santa's House, about a dozen or so people back from the front.  The kids goofed around in the yard, not wanting to stand around bored in line (can't say I blame them - I was frozen to the bone and bored out of my mind.)

Checking out a one-armed Elf near the Santa sign.

Trust falls.  Why not.

Sisters, bein' weird.

Waiting outside the Red Door for admittance into Santa's crib.

FINALLY inside, after about an hour and fifteen minutes of freezing my ass off outside.  My toes and fingers were numb by this point, which happens all the time now thanks to getting frostbite back in 1998 when I was on my high school ski team - still paying for that one.

It was sooooo awesome being inside where it was warm. . .

The Houghs.  In a big f***ing sleigh.

The girls check out some of the weirdness in Santa's house. . .

These creepy-ass animatronic elves are terrifying. . .

Chaos.

In the queue to see Santa

So are these gnomes, or dwarves?  What the hell do either have to do with Christmas?  I thought that was Elf territory. . .

I look really, really old in this picture. . .

FINALLY.  After an hour and a half. . . 

This is seriously the best picture I could get of her - she didn't even attempt to sit on his lap, she just walked up and he started asking her what she wanted.  I guess she asked for a gold hover board. . . which she is definitely not getting this year.

Abby's turn. . .

Abby asked for a Pomeranian.  Seriously.  Then, after Santa asked if she was sure, she adjusted it to simply 'a new puppy.'  When he asked what she'd like if he couldn't swing that - nicely done, Mr. Claus - she settled on a rosegold karaoke microphone.  Sweet Jesus, I hate kids sometimes. . .

The Hough Girls with Santa

Outside afterwards, for a mandatory picture in front of Santa's House (check out the ridiculously long line - it continues to wrap around out of frame to the left quite a ways, all the way down the sidewalk.)

And, in closing, here's a one-armed Christmas Elf.  You're welcome.

- Brian