Santa, a Train, and Ninety Minutes in the Freezing Cold

Season's Greetings, cuties.

This Holiday season's been really, really weird, folks.  Maybe it's the fact that it's a week shorter this year, seeing how Thanksgiving fell one week later in November than it usually does - who knows.  Whatever the case, Kris and I have really been dropping the ball with all things Christmas-y this year:  we've been half-assing the whole Elf on the Shelf thing, we haven't gotten around to Christmas Cards yet (not sure if we're even doing it this year, seeing how we're already half-way through December), and the kids haven't even been to frickin' Bronners.

Good grief.

Anyway, we were able to remedy at least one of our parental deficiencies today:  we hauled our kids downtown to Midland's famous Santa House so the kids could greet 'Santa.'  This year was more than a little awkward - neither kid sat on his lap (they're to the age where they're a little too old for that), so they just kinda stood facing him and told him what they wanted.

Midland's City Court House - all decked out to the 9's for the Holidays. . .

Gotta love meet-and-greets with Mr. Claus.

Anyway, here's how we spent that two-hour mandatory Christmas outing.  Kris and the girls got to ride a train, I froze my ass off standing in line for over an hour, and the girls got their last-minute wish items in.

Happy frickin' Christmas, everybody. . .

Downtown Midland and Santa's train.  The Santa House opens up on certain days at 1:30pm, so Kris and I had tried getting the kids out the door by 1:00pm in order to drive down, find a good parking spot, and snag a spot in line before the line backed up too long.  Alas, the girls took forever getting around this afternoon, so we didn't get down there until 1:40 or so.  By that time, the line was backed up down the sidewalk, so I grudingly assumed a position in line while Kris walked the girls down to the train to pass some time.

A train on wheels?  Clearly they don't understand how trains operate up there in the North Pole. . .

The girls didn't have to wait long to board the train - nearly everybody was waiting in line, like me.

More weird selfies with mom.

About an hour later, after the girls' train ride around Midland - and after Kris ran across the street to pick up a couple plates of cinnamon rolls from her church, First United Methodist - the rest of my family joined me in line.  By that point in time, I was right up against Santa's House, about a dozen or so people back from the front.  The kids goofed around in the yard, not wanting to stand around bored in line (can't say I blame them - I was frozen to the bone and bored out of my mind.)

Checking out a one-armed Elf near the Santa sign.

Trust falls.  Why not.

Sisters, bein' weird.

Waiting outside the Red Door for admittance into Santa's crib.

FINALLY inside, after about an hour and fifteen minutes of freezing my ass off outside.  My toes and fingers were numb by this point, which happens all the time now thanks to getting frostbite back in 1998 when I was on my high school ski team - still paying for that one.

It was sooooo awesome being inside where it was warm. . .

The Houghs.  In a big f***ing sleigh.

The girls check out some of the weirdness in Santa's house. . .

These creepy-ass animatronic elves are terrifying. . .

Chaos.

In the queue to see Santa

So are these gnomes, or dwarves?  What the hell do either have to do with Christmas?  I thought that was Elf territory. . .

I look really, really old in this picture. . .

FINALLY.  After an hour and a half. . . 

This is seriously the best picture I could get of her - she didn't even attempt to sit on his lap, she just walked up and he started asking her what she wanted.  I guess she asked for a gold hover board. . . which she is definitely not getting this year.

Abby's turn. . .

Abby asked for a Pomeranian.  Seriously.  Then, after Santa asked if she was sure, she adjusted it to simply 'a new puppy.'  When he asked what she'd like if he couldn't swing that - nicely done, Mr. Claus - she settled on a rosegold karaoke microphone.  Sweet Jesus, I hate kids sometimes. . .

The Hough Girls with Santa

Outside afterwards, for a mandatory picture in front of Santa's House (check out the ridiculously long line - it continues to wrap around out of frame to the left quite a ways, all the way down the sidewalk.)

And, in closing, here's a one-armed Christmas Elf.  You're welcome.

- Brian

The Big Man. And a Train.

Santa's crib.  Coincidentally located in the heart of downtown Midland.

Hi gang.

The Holidays are officially upon us, and although we're already two weeks into the 2015 holiday season, we're just now getting around to taking the kids to see Mr. Claus.

Kinda slacking this year.

Anyway, despite going to Bronner's two weeks ago, we opted to skip their Santa for the one in downtown Midland, as the latter has his own cobblestone house, a train, a toy shop, fewer crowds, is free, and is conveniently located five minutes from our house.

Santa arrives at his chateau. . .

Definitely a no-brainer there.

We got down there about ten minutes before the Big Man showed up to his house, so we were about twelve kids back in the line (a smart move on our part, as right around the time he got there the line was snaking all around the house.)  Afterwards we were lucky enough to walk right onto the train that ran every half hour around the downtown area.  All in all, a pretty easy Sunday outing.

Anyway, check out this year's pics from our visit with Kris Kringle. . .

The girls begin to shit their pants as Santa strolls up.   As he briefly addressed the outside line of kids and parents, he singled out Alayna and made some quip about not recognizing her on account of her missing tooth, which totally made her day.

Here's our kids in front of a giant, frickin' snowman.

(Not really the North Pole.)

The Cannonball's new favorite pose.

Abby.  Bein' weird.

No idea why Abby's so depressed here.  She's a bizarre child.

This branch of pine bought us a few minutes in line with the kids.  Whatever works.

Checking out the window displays in line. . .

Next in the queue, awaiting our turn outside an ominous red door. 

Checking out the window displays while waiting in line (this time inside, where it's warm and not-windy.)

Lots of crap to look at in Santa's crib.

Hey look, it's us.  In a sleigh.  Indoors.

Kris tries to keep the kids in line (literally), while Abby checks a Polar Bears incisors. 

She really wanted to hang out with these guys.

Abby stood in front of this clock going 'TICK, TOCK, TICK, TOCK' for about five minutes.  It bordered on creepy.

Lots of Christmas crap, lots of adults, lots of SLRs.

More of Santa's interior decorating.

You can barely see it, but at one point they actually released a shower of fake snow. . . much like they used to do down Celebration, FL.

Why do kids love this shit so much?

Behold. . . Santa's hearth.  I guess.

This Santa's pretty cool - he really takes his time with kids.  Each of our girls probably had two minutes with him, which, while it might not sound like a long time, kinda is. . . especially considering the huge line waiting both outside and snaking around inside his 'workshop.'

Alayna asked for 'Shopkins' this year (which are, honestly, the stupidest toy I've ever heard of), but Santa pressed her for more.  She couldn't really think of anything else on the spot, so he asked if it would be okay to surprise her a little on Christmas morning with some other things as well.  And of course she was cool with this.

Abby, probably for the first time in her life, wasn't apprehensive at all about sitting with Santa. . . thank God.  Even once she got past that little kid crying phase, she still wasn't fond of sitting on some random old dude's lap.

Abby asked for Star Wars toys from us, but she had specific items she wanted from Santa Claus this year:  Darth Vader pajamas and Darth Vader slippers.  This was awesome for us, 'cause we already bought her the exact things she was asking for.  It's always a moment of terror, awaiting whatever the hell pops out of your kids' mouths while they're visiting with Santa:  I'm always afraid they're going to ask for something completely random, or really expensive, forcing Kris and I to scramble like idiots at the last second.  Looks like we dodged the bullet again this year. 

The kids received a special ornament from Santa for our upstairs and downstairs Christmas trees this year, along with candy and a calendar. . . so needless to say they were pretty thrilled with things.

The courthouse in downtown Midland.

The Cannonball.  Being the Cannonball.

(She's singing.)

Not sure if they were allowed to manhandle the camels, but we let them anyway. . .

The kids wanted to go pick up Baby Jesus, so we had to yell at them.  You know, the usual.

As we were walking back to the car, an elderly chap came up to us and gave us four tickets for Santa's train ride.  We had anticipated a half-hour wait when we saw the train earlier, as that's what most other people were saying it was, but after we were given tickets we found ourselves at the front of the line, and on the train itself about five minutes later.  Can't complain with that at all.

NOT digging the camera in her face.

Hooray for trains.  This ride would prove to be a decent break from the cold air, for sure; the train drove about eight blocks around the downtown area, starting at the courthouse and driving all the way down to the Loons Stadium before heading east for a block, backtracking for a few blocks more north, then turning back towards the courthouse.  Pretty smooth ride, and it was HEATED.  Hell yeah.

Eating candy on a train.  Abby's in Heaven.

Disembarking at the end of our ride (which probably lasted about ten - fifteen minutes.)

Yet another awkward Hough family photograph. 

Skipping back to the van.

- Brian