The Houghs Get a Dog (Briefly)

If you ask me to say anything nice about cats, I will punch you in the face. Don't even bother.

Even if I wasn't deathly allergic to the horrid things (which I am), I'd still loathe them. Why? Because they act like they think they're better than me, and that's just plain ridiculous. I'm way better than any cat. They annoy the holy bejesus out of me - walking around indifferent to what I'm doing, with that stupid, smug look on their faces. I will not tolerate any such arrogant animal in my presence.

I hate cats.

Dogs? They're cool in my book. Really cool.

Seriously - who doesn't like dogs? There's a large group of weirdos out there that do like cats - the world's a sick place, I get that - but there are also a shit-ton of people out there who, like me, can't stand the stupid, flea bags.

But with dogs? Not really. Maybe there's a handful of hold-outs out there, scattered around the world, making it a crappier place in which to live.

There's a reason dogs are considered man's best friend, folks: they're awesome.

They're awesome, and my wife will not let me get one.

I could get into this in great detail, and put forward a compelling argument for why I think I'm entitled to owning a dog. And I could equally delve into the wife's ridiculous 'we don't have the time to train it'/'the landlord doesn't allow dogs' counter-argument. But I won't. I'll spare you the whole ordeal.

Instead, I'd like to showcase how the Houghs passed this last weekend, wherein we took in a 400 lb. American Bulldog named Ari.

See, our buddy Clint had to go to a wedding in Minnesota (Oh yeah! Minnesota!!), and needed someone to watch his bohemeth of a dog for four days.

Consider it a trial run. It didn't really showcase how unprepared we truly are for dog ownership, but it didn't really excite us into going out to the local humane society and picking one out.

No, if anything, this whole dog-sitting venture of ours reaffirmed for us that which we already know quite well: dogs are awesome, and we're not getting one any time soon.


Having said that, enjoy the weird videos, folks.

- Brian

Both girls were scared to death of Ari at first. Abby warmed up after a couple hours, while it took the Cannonball about two days... because she's a coward.

This dog is not athletic, and does not enjoy walks in the Florida heat...

The Plan for Summer

Set your phasers to 'FUN,' kids - it's mothaf******' Summertime!

This summer, I've made it a point to devote as much of my time as humanly possible to writing. The first time I attempted to do this, Kris squeezed out Alayna, which more or less destroyed any and all free time. The following summer, she worked full-time, which meant that Yours Truly had to babysit the year-old Cannonball full-time. Not so awesome. And last year, Kris up and squeezed out another kid, which, once again, put Brian's Writing Time on the back burner.

Not this summer, kids.

I've been hitting up the local library from 10am - 1pm, every day, and treating it like a job. Sure, I do have a Man Room at home, but the kids are always screaming about something in another room, or else banging on the door and demanding I come out and watch them trace their hands.

You know. The usual.


So during the mornings, while I'm out of the house, I'm able to catch up on tons of crap that I've been working on or else have been meaning to work on. It's been swell, and I feel like I'm accomplishing something instead of just pissing away my two months off sitting around the house chasing kids around and not showering as much as I used to.

Speaking of bathing, the pool has turned out to be the single greatest thing this family's ever put money into (kids coming in a close second). As the weather heats up around here, our mega-kiddie pool (or, smaller-sized adult pool, either way you want to look at it) has become our go-to haven during the blistering afternoons and evenings. The kids seem to love it, too - Alayna's getting to the point where she'll willingly jump to someone in the water from the top of the ladder, and Abby has gotten to the point where she'd rather just play on the ladder instead of in the water.

Everybody wins.

This week, the Cannonball also started Bible Summer Camp at the Peace United Methodist Church. Something by the name of 'Pandamania,' don't know if you've heard about this before...

Pandamonium: You may pay for the whole seat, but you'll be sitting on the edge!!!

Yeah.

Don't know if you've heard about this before, but apparently it's pretty cool with Jesus (and he runs our church, so... there you go). It's more or less three hours of games, arts and crafts, and sing-alongs. And at some point in time, they should stuffed pandas and t-shirts out of a cannon into a crowd and make toddlers and grade-schoolers trample each other in the name of the Big Guy.

That gives me and Abby full run of the house from 6 - 9pm every night, which is cool. So far I don't think Alayna's learned anything from the Bible, per se, but it gets her out of the house for a few hours so she can get some social interaction outside of school, and as a result, Daddy can get a small window of peace and quiet.

Praise Jebus!

- Brian

'Hangin' with the Chuckster,' or 'Cannonball Turns 3'

Word, people..

So we decided this year that for Alayna's 3rd birthday, we'd take her out to Chuck E. Cheese's.

Most of you already know my feelings regarding this most hated of mouses, but, for my daughter's sake, I let bygones be bygones. She's a big fan of the joint, and I'm not going to deny her happiness on her birthday simply because she wants to frequent the establishment that more or less murdered some of my childhood heroes.

Whatever.

Below are a crap load of pictures and videos.

Enjoy.

-Brian

The Cannonball's 3rd birthday cake

Cake Master

Professional photograph - 1 token

(she really sucked at this game)

Abby in Gabbaland

Alayna and Papa John check out the animatronic mouse that owns the place

Establishing headquarters

Abby and a rather handsome man.

One, gigantic tub of tokens.

Alayna busts out her tokens

First ride on the horse (soon to be a personal favorite)

Abby, unsupervised

Discussing the current political situation in Libya with Lindsay

Homeboys.

This is not an uncommon sight

...neither is this.

Healthy dinner

Abby, not upset enough to prevent her from devouring a few pieces of pizza.

Showing off her pizza to the Voigts and their son, Clint

Riding with Derrick

Some party guests

Alayna and her friend, Adylyn (not sure how that's spelled)

...and with her pseudo-beau, Derrick.

Grandma and Papa John

Abby in a rare happy mood (seconds before Chuck waltzed over and made her crap herself)

MOUSE!!!!!!

Makin' friends

A much weirder family portrait.

The Chuck

Cake time!








The Hough girls tear into the cake








...and so does this random kid who just came over, sat down, ate a piece of my kid's cake, and left without saying anything to anyone. I'm hoping he got hit by a bus on his way home.

Hugs with Alexander

More grandparents

Yet another ride on the horse with Derrick




Wrapping up the meal

Posing for another family portrait

Leaving Chuck's

On the way home, watching 'Bear in the Big Blue House'

(Abby didn't make it)

(Happily) digging into the birthday plunder

Cannonball and Chuck