The Houghs Get a Dog (Briefly)

If you ask me to say anything nice about cats, I will punch you in the face. Don't even bother.

Even if I wasn't deathly allergic to the horrid things (which I am), I'd still loathe them. Why? Because they act like they think they're better than me, and that's just plain ridiculous. I'm way better than any cat. They annoy the holy bejesus out of me - walking around indifferent to what I'm doing, with that stupid, smug look on their faces. I will not tolerate any such arrogant animal in my presence.

I hate cats.

Dogs? They're cool in my book. Really cool.

Seriously - who doesn't like dogs? There's a large group of weirdos out there that do like cats - the world's a sick place, I get that - but there are also a shit-ton of people out there who, like me, can't stand the stupid, flea bags.

But with dogs? Not really. Maybe there's a handful of hold-outs out there, scattered around the world, making it a crappier place in which to live.

There's a reason dogs are considered man's best friend, folks: they're awesome.

They're awesome, and my wife will not let me get one.

I could get into this in great detail, and put forward a compelling argument for why I think I'm entitled to owning a dog. And I could equally delve into the wife's ridiculous 'we don't have the time to train it'/'the landlord doesn't allow dogs' counter-argument. But I won't. I'll spare you the whole ordeal.

Instead, I'd like to showcase how the Houghs passed this last weekend, wherein we took in a 400 lb. American Bulldog named Ari.

See, our buddy Clint had to go to a wedding in Minnesota (Oh yeah! Minnesota!!), and needed someone to watch his bohemeth of a dog for four days.

Consider it a trial run. It didn't really showcase how unprepared we truly are for dog ownership, but it didn't really excite us into going out to the local humane society and picking one out.

No, if anything, this whole dog-sitting venture of ours reaffirmed for us that which we already know quite well: dogs are awesome, and we're not getting one any time soon.


Having said that, enjoy the weird videos, folks.

- Brian

Both girls were scared to death of Ari at first. Abby warmed up after a couple hours, while it took the Cannonball about two days... because she's a coward.

This dog is not athletic, and does not enjoy walks in the Florida heat...