Halloween

so halloween's over and done with, and we had a pretty good time this year.

the cannonball was old enough to actually get a little more out of it this year (opposed to last year when she was only a few months old and we'd just randomly sit her in front of crap and take pictures).

she picked out her first pumpkin (which we accidently left at the pumpkin patch and then had to eventually replace), she got to march (i.e. drunkly wobble) in her first school parade, and even got to trick or treat (in order to collect candy for her pregnant mom).

so here's some pictures of our halloween (kris and i didn't dress up, as we're incredibly lame). enjoy.

- brian

Retribution, Roseola, and Radical Teachification

now, let me start off by saying that this is arguably the suavest 7th grade social studies teacher you are likely to see this year.

this was taken back in august, and sense then i have led my ever-vigilant teenage disaster-bombs through two months of european history. as the first nine weeks draws to a close, i have a few new grey hairs but haven't yet suffered from an aneurism. cowabunga.

updates. remember when a 20 year old kid decided to rear-end my pregnant wife in a school zone a last week? when she was completely stopped at a school crossing, allowing children to scamper off on their way home from school? remember that? well, that 2o year old kid's dad just ended up taking a big, fat $1400 love bill up the kiester, folks. that's the amount of repairs kris' uplander is going to require in order to remedy this fella's handywork.

serves the guy right for texting on his damn cell phone.

in other news, guess who worked a half day today? (it was me.) last night, the cannonball decided to spike a 102.4 degree fever. preggosaurus' mom sense (think 'spidey sense') went apeshit at about 12:30am, and she sprung out of bed to randomly check on the kid. sure enough, fever time. afterwards, yours truly couldn't fall back asleep until 3:30am. two hours later, the alarm clock bellowed and i was off to a bland half-day of work before commuting all the way back up to home in order to take the kid to the pediatrician's.

final verdict: the kid's sprouting three new teeth, a series of ant bites, and roseola... which i guess is some kind of baby rash that prompts toddlers to bust out 103 degree fevers. who knew.

...that was our day. how was yours?

slainte,

- brian

In the Rear/Alayna's Boyfriend

...does this title scare you? it should - nothing about it sounds pleasant at all.

two completely, unrelated events, though. the other day, as kris was heading home from work, some kid decided to rear end her while - get this - she was stopped at a school crosswalk. that's right. she was completely stopped at a school crosswalk, being pregnant and watching students cross the street, when a 20 year old moron flew up in a small sedan and rear-ended her super van. fortunately, both preggosaurus and the yet-to-be-identified baby are fine, and the damage to our car was minimal (just a slight crack in the bumper).

now, the other guy's car... that was totaled. that's what he gets for driving into the back of a battle wagon.

so we recently received news that some kid in the primrose toddler room is putting the moves on our daughter. she's got herself a suitor. evidently, this kid leaned and planted one on alayna, who then decided to sit next to him and play with his hair throughout their 'circle time.' i haven't decided on whether or not i need to send the kid off to a convent yet, but the little boy's dad did photoshop up this collage of the two lovebirds in romantic bliss.

Speaking of bliss, we also recently took the kid to chuck e. cheese's. i'm an old-school fan of showbiz pizza place, which was brutally taken over in some kind of mascot-ran pizza/entertainment business deal. i'm assuming the rockafire explosion was either kicked to the streets or else subsequently put to death, because they were nowhere to be found. the only animatronic character to be had was the ridiculously stupid mouse, mr. cheese, dressed up like a early '90s rollerblader (awesome!!).

anyway, the kid loved the place. there wasn't a ball pit, but they did have a play area specifically for toddlers, and she couldn't enough of the place. here are some pics for your viewing pleasure.

word to your moms,

- brian

In the Mood (for Raffi)

the cannonball has entered that hell-phase of "terrible twos." hooray for us, right?

she's getting an early start to it, too... which we're absolutely loving at this point. tantrums, whining for no apparent reason, unrelenting getting-in-to-stuff-ishness, etc. the only thing - and believe me, we've tried finding something else - to calm this kid down when she gets all worked up is the raffster (see, "Original Gangster (for Kids").

when she first showed interest in this ol' troubadour, it was cute. "hey, our kid likes the same kid's musician that we did when we were super little - that's awesome."

yeah, well...

its been a few weeks since then... and this kid watches this concert movie every. single. day. i'm not even kidding. its gotten so bad that i'm whistling "peanut butter sandwich" and "baby beluga" at work. it gets looks, folks - nobody wants to see a grown man whistle kid tunes. its creepy.

this VHS tape has gotten so played out that its literally beginning to fall apart. adjusting the tracking on the VCR hasn't been enough to clear up the picture on the screen - its worn down from excessive use. i suppose, though, that it being on its last leg and all is a blessing of sorts... i'm just nervous what awaits us when this tape dies and we're left raffi-less (of course, we could buy the DVD, but i'm not quite willing to bite the bullet on this one yet). i'm sure 'super parents' out there might balk at the houghs using television as a means of calming down our screaming toddler; is it bad of us to sit our kid down in front of a TV for twenty eight acoustic minutes when she's in the middle of a freak-out? maybe.

...but maybe you smell bad. so shut up.

...

do they make cat nip for toddlers?

Teacher's Pet

i think its every dad's primary goal, as a parent, to raise a kid that turns out like the Fonz.

not necessarily by playing out to the stereotypical italian greaser typecast... i'm talking about in terms of coolness, here.

my own daughter, as it were, is not the Fonz. let's get past the part where she's not a greasy, italian guy and focus on the fact that she's not nearly fulfilling her 'cool' quota at school.

she's a toddler now, and has been in the toddler classroom at her school for a few months now. however, as it turns out, the kid doesn't necessarily 'play well' with the other kids in her classroom. she prefers - get this - the company of the teachers instead.

that's right. the teachers.

so we raised a teacher's pet.

not necessarily the coolest thing we could've done as parents. not only is our daughter a teacher's pet, but she also seems to get beat up in school quite a bit. now, i realize that these scrapes and 'owies' are the result of other toddlers getting over-excited when she comes into the classroom in the morning, as they do like her and all; what bothers me is the fact that she doesn't clock one of these kids back when they give her an overly-aggressive bear hug.

yes, she's smaller than most of other diaper-clad hooligans in her room. that's fine. being small doesn't necessarily mean you need to be pushed around.

look at yoda - that guy rips up bad guys for a living. and i'm pretty sure yoda and my daughter are the same size.

...of course yoda has the force going for him. i suppose i should get my daughter's metaclorian count tested.

- brian

Random Observed Holiday #227: Leif Erikson Day

Happy Leif Erikson Day, Everybody!

I think its awesome that this guy has his own holiday. I really do. What's funny about this holiday is that nobody knows it exists... mostly due to the fact that nobody knows who Leif Erikson is. If I were to say "Leif Erikson" to someone on the street, the first thing that person would think of (besides, 'why the hell is this random guy talking to me?') would probably be that VH1 Behind the Music special with Leif Garrett.

Leif Garrett probably gets it all the time... I mean, if you look at these two guys, I suppose they sort of look alike, right?

(...and now that I think about it, Leif Garrett probably has his own holiday, too.)

Anyway, my point for bringing this up today in the first place is this: I think it sucks more people don't acknowledge this guy. A holiday's great and all, but its pretty much only observed in Minnesota, Winsconsin, and the Dakotas, where the Scandinavians (or Scandos, as I like to call them) primarily settled when they first emigrated here.

And while its cool the squareheads have their own holiday for a folk hero, I think they should make a bigger push for its universal acceptance. Maybe turn it into a bank holiday status so I can get it off of work, too.

...I mean, seriously - Christopher Colombus has his own holiday, for Christ's sake, and that guy was a butthole.