The Last-Minute Endeavor of Carving Pumpkins

Welcome back, fans.

So Kris and I totally dropped the ball this year as parents.  We totally put off the carving of pumpkins until the very last minute, and even then we didn't even bother with purchasing pumpkins to carve ourselves - we just settled on picking up two for the girls at Aldi and called it good.  After our huge costume party on Saturday, and Halloween itself approaching in a couple days - not to mention how swamped we've all been with school and work and all sorts of extracurricular bullshit - we just didn't have time for it this year.

Abby recreates the Halloween where she open-mouthed a pumpkin.

Anyway, we finally got around to carving pumpkins with the girls today.  The day before the girls gutted them out, and then the actual carving part happened tonight.  It took two days because we only had, like, half-hour windows at night in which to do this.  Alayna has fallen way behind in school, and has consequently been spending hours a night catching up on homework and classwork she didn't get done in class, and we told her she couldn't carve pumpkins until she finished it all up.

I suppose that makes us shitty parents, but. . . so does a whole bunch of other stuff.  And CPS still hasn't come to take our kids away yet, so I guess we have that going for us.

So yeah.  Here's some photographic evidence of this year's Halloween parenting fail.

Enjoy.

Hammin' it up for the camera.

The gutting process begins.  This was the majority of Evening #1 right here - the bulk of the carving wouldn't get done until Evening #2.

Definitely not the kids' favorite. . .

The Dog was super into this process, though.  Who the hell knows why.

Seriously. . .

Meanwhile, down in the basement, Alayna continues to slug away at her missing Social Studies homework.  Note the lack of pumpkin carving going on here.

After awhile, though, we decided that she had had enough schoolwork for the night, and made her go upstairs and take a shower before she, too, got to start carving a pumpkin.

Abby's is a 'mummy.'  No joke.

What's with all the lines?

Kris' advice goes unheeded.  No surprises there.

There's a running theme in these pictures, folks.

Here we are at Evening #2, picking up where we left off the previous night.  Alayna chose to make a 'devil' pumpkin this year, and so I helped her draw out a quick design that was simple enough for her to carve.

Whoever invented emojis must be just swimming in money at this point in time. . .

Abby's sorta-Mummy pumpkin.  Or not.

The finished products, all lit up and ready to roll for Halloween. . .

Alayna turned her pumpkin around so it could cast a creepy, demonic visage across the wall of our Dining Room.  Because she, like her father, has a dark, twisted sense of humor.

Oh, look.  More weird kid faces.

So yeah.  There's our half-ass attempt at being involved parents.

- Brian

Seasonal Mess

Cowabunga.

Hi again.

So custom dictates that we, as Americans, have to go out and buy some gourds this month.  Giant frickin' vegetables that only get their moment in the spotlight once a year, then become the culinary world's red-headed stepchildren throughout the following seasons.  We carve weird faces in them, set them on our porch, and then promptly throw them away.  This is a mandatory thing to do when you have kids.

And no one knows why.

I think it's absolutely ridiculous that people in this country follow traditions without knowing anything about them and where they come from.  But hey. . . that's just me being a history teacher.  I'll spare you the history lesson, America, but know that I'm disappointed in you.  Again.

Anyway, long story short, here's how our family once again blindly followed 'Murican tradition.

Smurf it:

Grandma picked us up some pumpkins from Jack's here in Midland, and the girls also had pumpkins they picked up with Nana from a pumpkin patch outing a couple weeks ago.

The Lions lost again today.  They're absolute garbage this year, but that's part of being a Lions fan, I guess - wearing your Charlie Batch jersey and watching your team lose horrifically to a sub-par opponent.

Abby realizes that her pumpkin scooper, well, sucks.

Pumpkin surgery.

The Cannonball breaks into an impromptu dance routine.  For no reason whatsoever.

Snacks.

Abby hated this.  Carving pumpkins might be a fun thing for most kids, but not this one.

Alayna likes anything even remotely 'craft'-oriented.

I never have a plan beforehand.  I could probably be way more into this, but I just never feel like going all out for pumpkins.  I'm a pretty lazy person.

Abby decided to carve Michael Jackson's nose this year.  

Kris gets artsy.

The Hough Family's 2015 Pumpkins.

- Brian