The Ongoing Adventures of Rosie Peppermint

What's up, Christmas fans.

The arrival of Rosie Peppermint - November of 2017.

So I don't think I mentioned this to you folks before, but we got the girls one of those Elf on the Shelf thingies towards the end of November last year.  Kris and I had debated it for a couple years, back when they first came out and Alayna was, like, three years old, but then said 'that's stupid, let's not do that.'  A few years passed and the girls didn't say anything, and Kris and I were both grateful.

Because Elf on the Shelf IS stupid.

Well, for the last three years or so, since we've been back up here in Michigan, Alayna and Abby both started asking about it.  For the first two years, we were able to brush it off - fortunately the girls were more curious than interested - but last year they really started bugging us about it.  It was really aggravating, because Alayna - at nine years old - was almost to that age where that stuff is no longer going to be believable - but we eventually relented, bit the bullet, and bought a damn Elf.

Rosie's "Birthday Party."

We let the girls unwrap it one evening after school, and they were both super-excited.  They threw their Elf - a female (yes, you can choose its gender) they christened 'Rosie Peppermint' - a birthday party, and later that night after they went to bed, Kris and I started the long, arduous process of putting the Elf in all kinds of compromising situations.

What sucks about this whole damn process is that you have to constantly place the Elf somewhere different, and doing different things, and all the time raising the elaboration of it all.  Kris scopes out Pinterest constantly, because all sorts of lame-ass parents post their stuff to Pinterest, and both of our Facebook feeds are filled with parent friends who upload their own Elf exploits so the entire world can know how f***ing cool they are.

I've had to develop an entirely new handwriting style for Rosie, as it couldn't match the existing handwriting styles I've created for Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy.

I hate people.

Anyway, not to be hypocritical or anything, but here's some of the shit we came up with last year (at least I'm not uploading it to social media.)  We had to run this gauntlet for nearly thirty days last year, and this year - starting today - we're going to repeat the process.  We can't do any of the previous twenty-seven things, so Kris and I are both really looking forward to scraping up new ideas for this stupid, waste of time.

Happy Holidays. . .

(We forgot until the last minute.  These lame-ass poses happened frequently.)

We occasionally had to leave clues like this so our kids knew where the thing was. . .

The running joke around these parts is that our elf has a sweet tooth, which the girls find hilarious.

This was 'warming up by the fire' after her adventure in the freezer.

(This one was my idea.)

Following a day where the girls had been fighting with one another like crazy, we staged an inter-mythical creature capture (note the change in handwriting - appreciate the hell out of that, America.)  The point of the whole Elf on the Shelf thing (so I'm told) is that it 'watches' your kids to make sure they remain on their best behavior for S. Claus.  That's extremely creepy.

Kris came up with the Minions thing.  (I drew the dead Minions.  Just in case you were curious.)

We hung up a bunch of the girls underwear all over the Christmas Tree.  Just 'cause.

On the night before Christmas Eve, for Rosie's second-to-last act of the season, we went big.  Abby had been asking Rosie for a Scavenger Hunt (seriously), which is always a total bitch to set up (have you seen our Easter mornings around here?)

. . . aaaand now we have to jump through all the damn hoops all over again.  The second my kids stop believing in all this Elf crap, I'm going to take Rosie outside in the bonfire pit and set her on fire.

- Brian

Appraising the Situation

Hey gang.

Well, it's been about a week since the Houghs bought themselves a house, and in that short amount of time Kris has already started to throw herself at an ungodly amount of paperwork and phone calls with various agents working with us (lenders, agents, realtors, etc.) while Yours Truly continues to pack up for the Last Move of the Houghs.

After work this evening, while Mom watched the girls, Kris and I met an inspector over at our soon-to-be home in order to check out the house in a little more detail.  While he poked around and checked things off his To Check Off list, we focused in on details, nooks and crannies, double-checking to see if anything came up amiss.

Fortunately, nothing did.  The inspector was meticulous, and wrote down the smallest of grievances that most folks would have overlooked in a heartbeat (ex. "some of the basement ceiling tiles had cracks in them and could eventually be replaced," "a kitchen cupboard is kinda sticking - a screw needs to be adjusted," etc.)  The only main areas of concern were the gas fireplace, the chimney, and the water heater.

As it turns out, the gas fireplace was fine - it just had to have the pilot light relit because the inspector accidentally shut it off and didn't know how to turn it back on.  The sellers eventually did this, and now the fire place is apparently fine.  Check.

The water heater apparently was missing a sticker that identified when it had last been serviced.  It was clarified by the sellers that the sticker was, in fact, on the water heater and the unit had been serviced a couple months ago and was basically in perfect shape.  Check.

There was a small hairline crack on a couple bricks in the chimney, and would need a sealer applied to it eventually in order to stop future cracking, but it was nothing serious.  The sellers - who are elderly - weren't willing to hire someone to go up a ladder and apply a sealant, when odds were the future buyers - us - could buy a sealant at Home Depot, scale a ladder, and apply it ourselves for free.  Check.

So, all in all, we got, really, really lucky with this purchase.  Our inspector couldn't believe the shape the house was in, and repeated several times that this elderly couple must have just upgraded the hell out of this house on a regular basis to keep it in the shape it's currently in.  Something Kris and I are obviously pretty cool with.

Anyway, here's some pics of our latest walk through of our next home. . .

We totally missed it before, but apparently our house has a sprinkler system built in.  Which is a definite bonus.

We're thinking of putting the piano against this wall in the living room (even has an outlet for a piano lamp), but the flow from the hallway is a concern.

Detail of countertops

Switches in the Study (light for the garage, for the Study, and for the ceiling fan.)  I'm thinking about replacing the switch covers with something badass, but not sure what, yet.

Weird staggering of counter space in the kitchen

From the Dining Room, looking into the Living Room.  I definitely want to put these lights on a Dimmer as soon as possible, if only to rid ourselves of the police interrogation lighting.

(I think they're taking their massive spoon collection with them. . .)

Detail of Study built-in cabinets.  I took this because I'm planning on purchasing and wiring in some under-cabinet lighting to accentuate my African swords.

The now-functional gas fireplace.

Future home of my old world globe bar. . . and maybe someday a desk of some kind.

Basement dividing wall, separating the side room from the main area of the basement (no idea why that carved piece of wood has been affixed to the corner to the right, there.)

Future beer fridge in the basement Storage Room

The future Whatever Room in the basement.  As the only unfinished room in the house (aside from the obvious Storage/Water Heater Room), it was limited in its potential as a workshop.  I'm going to go to war with this room.

I measured this cubby of junk, under the cabinet, and it perfectly fits my wood-faced mini-fridge.  A beer fridge in every room would be very awesome, methinks.

Kris checks out the 'door' to the third bathroom in the basement.

Just barely too small for shelving vinyl, we'll probably use it to house photo albums, video game guides, songbooks, board games, and other crap like that that needs shelf space, but isn't quite worthy of the Study upstairs. . .

Juuust too short for vinyl.

Kris wants to renovate this closet in the basement into a built-in office.

Lighting in the Storage Room

Tupperware pull-out thingies in the kitchen.  Nearly every lower-level cabinets have these, which Kris is on the fence with.

Sea foam walls down the hallway as well.  That'll have to go.

We didn't notice this the first time we were there, but the front door has stained glass in it.  I'm not sure if that's vines or leaves or what.  Something plant-ish.  This door also has encased blinds that are installed between the layers of glass (identical to the sliding doors in the Study), which are super nice.

The Living Room. There's no overhead fixtures, so we'll have to spring for a few lamps down the road. . .

Kris and the inspector

Seriously.  This bush is getting a frickin' haircut when we move in.

Two months from now, this place is going to look a hell of a lot different.  No more sea foam walls, no more doilies, no more owls.  . . . well, maybe a doily or two.  We'll see.

- Brian