The Brews

What's up readers.

So once in awhile Ol' Ma Hough let's Yours Truly out of the house sans children.  This is obviously 'really cool' in my book, and so it goes without saying that when she gave me her blessing to accompany a couple work buddies out to Tampa in order to do a brewery tour for the day, I pounced on that shit like a lion on a limping gazelle.

Behold:

We kicked off our tour-de-beer with a stop off at America's oldest brewery - Yuengling.  They're based in Pennsylvania, but have a factory down here in Tampa.  Tours (and samples) are free.

Hear hear. 

For when employees have too much to drink and can't drive home.  Or so I assume.

Yuengling is only a 'meh' in my book - they don't carry many different brews (they're somewhat mainstream) - but we wanted to check out the brewery in order to learn more about the process of a somewhat-major distributor.

Some Mexican guy on a bench.

Outside shot of the brewery.  They weren't out to impress anybody with this building.

Vintage beer vats.  Now empty.

Old control panels from fifty/sixty years ago. . .

Old beer vats, no longer in service.

Cans of Yuengling on the assembly line (or whatever it's called in Beer-speak.)

Where beer gets canned/bottled.

In case any of you guys out there ever want to make your own aluminum can.  You're welcome.

I want one of these made of me.  There are so many good uses for something like this.

The whole inside of the Yuengling Brewery looks like a time capsule straight out of the 1950s. . . or the Dharma initiative from Lost.

Entering the Visitor's Center

Outside the visitor's center.

That's a shit-load of beer.

Outside shot of the brewery. . .

Back in the car, en route to our next stop. . .

Ah, the ol' MadDog 20/20.  This was definitely reminiscent of my early, flat-broke college years (and NO, I didn't buy this - that crap looked like cough medicine and cost $3.)

The highlight of our tour was Cigar City Brewing, so named (I assume) because they have a cigar-rolling set-up in the tap room, and there are tons of cigar shops throughout Tampa.

Drinking stouts and killing time before our tour kicks off. . .

Moichendise.

More pre-tour booze-sampling. . .

On the Cigar City Brewing Tour. . . 

Some guy and Batman.

Different hops and barley grains to sample. 

Cigar break at Cigar City.

Casks of beer, some hipster's bike.

Sampling some pre-aged sour ale, right from the tap.

Awesome. 

No idea what any of this shit means.

Barrels of fun.

One of the weirdest men I've ever seen.

Scenic Tampa, FL.

Outside of some fancy-pants Cuban joint we didn't end up eating at (I didn't understand the menu in the slightest.)

Forgot the name of this trendy, hipster-ish area of Tampa, but they had a ton of cool bars and restaurants.

We walked a little down the street and found Gaspar's Grotto, a pirate-themed bar/restaurant that was MUCH more to my liking.

I wish my house looked like this.

Food here was awesome - I had this pulled-pork bacon cheeseburger that was most likely hand-crafted by the gods (and had more calories than I consume in a week, but whatever.)

Some crap I pocketed (on the sly) from the Cigar City brewery tour. Coasters, safety glasses, and a barrel plug.  Because I can.

Among a few pint/stout glasses I brought home from Yuengling and Cigar City, I also brought back a growler of a 11% ABV brew from Cigar City called Florida Man - one of the best beers I've ever had.  32 oz of awesome beer and the growler cost only $17 total - not too shabby at all.  Due to Anheuser-Busch's stranglehold over Florida's legislation in Tallahassee, growlers are usually illegal to sell throughout the state. Certain brewers can get away selling specific sizes - like this one, opposed to the standard 64 - but it's hard to find.  Goddamn you, Anheuser-Busch.  Goddamn you very much.

- Brian

Treasure Island

our family lives in a pretty touristy area. central florida can be a sprawling, congested, urban smear filled with bad crime and badder drivers, but, at the same time, it offers limitless sources of entertainment.

we live in orlando, but not in the touristy part you may be accustomed to. we live in a golf club part of town, which, while nice, feels nothing like touristy florida. jimmy buffet cannot be heard in the streets, but T.I. can. there are palm trees, sure, but only at major intersections and at the gates of fancy planned communities. in order to get that traditional, 'fun in the tropics' experience down here in central florida, you have to a.) go to a theme park, or b.) drive a couple hours to either coast and escape central florida all together.

now, we have a couple friends down here who have always been more than generous in the area of park admittance. its appreciated, and its awesome (as the countless pictures already posted across this here blog attest to). however, for our first 'family' vacation (as a dynamic trio), we decided to spend a few days on the coast in a beachfront hotel, living it up like a gang of tourists.

our destination: treasure island.

treasure island is located a few miles north of st. petersburg, in the greater tampa area, and is absolutely gorgeous. kris ended up finding dirt-cheap rates for a room at the treasure island bay & marina hotel, which was, by far, the best room we've ever stayed in (with the exception of a room we got once while traversing the bahamas). the view from our balcony was of the ocean and beach itself, which was literally a five minute walk from our hotel room door.

we spent as much time on that beach as humanly possible (or, rather, as alayna could tolerate without going ape-shit ballistic), and did more than our fair share of souvenir shopping along the main strip.

we also hit up john's pass - which we coincidently went to during our april mini-reunion with ex-peace corps compatriots lauren, brett, bonnie, and susannah - while we were in the neighborhood, and yours truly bought himself a new old man hat to replace my grandpa's (which i'd prefer to preserve as long as possible). in addition, we also picked up a hermit crab as a new pet while we were out there, which i was adamant about obtaining from day one...

as far as souvenirs go, you really can't go wrong with hermit crabs.

all in all, it was a solid, touristy vacation in the tropics, with a final price tag of about $400. not too shabby at all, and highly recommended for you locals out there looking for a change of scenery (as for you non-locals, it'd still run you about $400, but then add a couple hundred for the rental car and a few hundred for the plane tickets).

so yeah... our first 'family' vacation was a success. henceforth, we're making treasure island our annual mid-summer family vacation/getaway as long as we're stuck down here in the sunshine state (see also america's wang).

slainte,

- brian