The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXXVI

Welcome back, Internet.  Time for some yuletide jam scrutinage. . .

Album Title:  'Tis the Season

Album Artist:  Jimmy Buffet

This is one of those no-brainers, guy.  It's Jimmy Buffet, for Christ's sake.

If you've ever listened to a Buffet song in your life, you know exactly what this album sounds like:  Caribbean-infused country versions of Christmas favorites, as well as some less-known songs and even a few original compositions thrown in for good measure.  Lots of steel drums, lots of steel guitar, lots of hokey lyrics.

Again, it's Jimmy Buffet.

I gotta say, though, I'm glad I snagged this on sale for $8 instead of paying full price for it (despite the fact that it's on heavy-duty, white vinyl - I love me a gimmick.)  You know how people say you can tell if someone's smiling over the phone by the way their voice sounds?  Well, Jimmy Buffet isn't smiling much on this album:  he sounds like he's simply going through the motions to pocket another paycheck.  This whole album sounds phoned-in - it's definitely a let-down.

Did they photoshop this to make him look built?

There isn't any fire on this album - no stand-out tracks, no passion, no fury - and that's disappointing, because I'm a big fan of his other Holiday album, Christmas Island.  That album - recorded twenty years before this one - sounds like the whole band was having a blast throughout the entire recording process.  Lyrics about pirates and drinking in the sun - you could practically hear the Puerto Rican rum splashing all over the studio microphones.

'Tis the Season suffers from a few different things, aside from it's lazy and lackluster performance from Buffet.  For one, the entire album sounds less country and more Seaworld Orlando, as if Buffet - whose country background in the early 1970s gives his more famous work such heart - said to himself, "Oh, the Caribbean thing sells with the consumers, eh?  Let's increase the tropical sound by 170% and lose all the country bullshit."  There's almost too much steel drum on this LP, it's frickin' jarring.

I don't buy this camaraderie for one second.

Secondly, the song choice is terrible.  Just terrible.  Christmas Island had enough original music and enough well-executed versions of Holiday standards to really draw a line in the sand (with a pirate cutlass, obviously):  this is the 'Jimmy Buffet Christmas Album.'  'Tis the Season, on the other hand, comes across as 'Another Jimmy Buffet-sounding Album of Christmas Songs.'  Those two things are in no way, shape or form even remotely similar to one another.

Actually, you know what this album sounds like?  It sounds like all the band members flew into their state-of-the-art LA studio (the production value of this album is spotless,) being forced to ride coach because Buffet is too stingy to splurge on First Class for them.   The band all hate each other now, but Jimmy Buffet Inc. is a cash cow and they're not going to bite the hand that feeds them.  Upon arrival, Jimmy's talent agent gives all the musicians their marching orders - Jimmy doesn't even bother showing up to pretend he likes the band at this point - and they all record their tracks separately.  No one ever sees Jimmy Buffet, as he's out of town opening up a new Margaritaville in Seoul.

In fact, Jimmy doesn't lay down his vocal and guitar tracks until the very end of the recording process, long after the rest of the backing band have disembarked on their various private jets back to their far-flung homes.  He does a couple takes, constantly berating the sound engineers for not doing their job making him sound like he's still in his 20s, then storms off, half-drunk and doped up on Percocet.

. . . .

. . . why the hell don't I own Christmas Island on vinyl??

VERDICT:  6/10 - Meh  (Still sounds like Jimmy Buffet, but it's a stretch at this point.  This LP is Christmas Island's younger and far-douchier brother who tries too hard to be cool.)

- SHELVED -

Treasure Island

our family lives in a pretty touristy area. central florida can be a sprawling, congested, urban smear filled with bad crime and badder drivers, but, at the same time, it offers limitless sources of entertainment.

we live in orlando, but not in the touristy part you may be accustomed to. we live in a golf club part of town, which, while nice, feels nothing like touristy florida. jimmy buffet cannot be heard in the streets, but T.I. can. there are palm trees, sure, but only at major intersections and at the gates of fancy planned communities. in order to get that traditional, 'fun in the tropics' experience down here in central florida, you have to a.) go to a theme park, or b.) drive a couple hours to either coast and escape central florida all together.

now, we have a couple friends down here who have always been more than generous in the area of park admittance. its appreciated, and its awesome (as the countless pictures already posted across this here blog attest to). however, for our first 'family' vacation (as a dynamic trio), we decided to spend a few days on the coast in a beachfront hotel, living it up like a gang of tourists.

our destination: treasure island.

treasure island is located a few miles north of st. petersburg, in the greater tampa area, and is absolutely gorgeous. kris ended up finding dirt-cheap rates for a room at the treasure island bay & marina hotel, which was, by far, the best room we've ever stayed in (with the exception of a room we got once while traversing the bahamas). the view from our balcony was of the ocean and beach itself, which was literally a five minute walk from our hotel room door.

we spent as much time on that beach as humanly possible (or, rather, as alayna could tolerate without going ape-shit ballistic), and did more than our fair share of souvenir shopping along the main strip.

we also hit up john's pass - which we coincidently went to during our april mini-reunion with ex-peace corps compatriots lauren, brett, bonnie, and susannah - while we were in the neighborhood, and yours truly bought himself a new old man hat to replace my grandpa's (which i'd prefer to preserve as long as possible). in addition, we also picked up a hermit crab as a new pet while we were out there, which i was adamant about obtaining from day one...

as far as souvenirs go, you really can't go wrong with hermit crabs.

all in all, it was a solid, touristy vacation in the tropics, with a final price tag of about $400. not too shabby at all, and highly recommended for you locals out there looking for a change of scenery (as for you non-locals, it'd still run you about $400, but then add a couple hundred for the rental car and a few hundred for the plane tickets).

so yeah... our first 'family' vacation was a success. henceforth, we're making treasure island our annual mid-summer family vacation/getaway as long as we're stuck down here in the sunshine state (see also america's wang).

slainte,

- brian