Christmas Pre-Season: ENGAGE

Enjoying the first Nogs of the Season. . .

Good evening, America.

As I've told you now - Jesus, let me think about this - maybe six or seven times before, the Houghs kick off the Holiday Season in mid-November.  Back in our Florida days, we did so because it was the first weekend of Thanksgiving Break (yes, we got a full week off of work for Thanksgiving - I really, really miss that.)  Of course, we waited until after Thanksgiving to throw up the Christmas Tree and turn on the exterior lights, but all the interior decor went up at the start of the break, thereby marking the annual resurrection of the Christmas Beast.

Since moving back home to Michigan, this family tradition of ours has held firm, and this Friday we once again drug up about a dozen totes, boxes, and what-not from the deepest depths of our storage room, once I got back from work.  The kids were my sort-of-but-not-really helpers in the entire process, and it took us a few hours to go through each and every box and tote on hand.  Quite a lot of decor this year ended up being donated to the 'Mr. Hough's Classroom Decor' box - stuff we'd outgrown, or tackier/cheaper decorations we had had since we first moved in together back in the mid-2000's - so we deemed it necessary to go out shopping later in the weekend to acquire more stuff for the house.

You know.  The Reason for the Season.

Anyway, what follows is a sporadic walkthrough of this, the jump-off weekend to the Holiday Season.

ARISE, CHRISTMAS BEAST!!!!

Following the previous evening's interior decorating, Kris and I decided to take the girls out to Bronner's in Frankenmuth in order to do some shopping for ornaments and household decor. . .

I figured since it wasn't even Thanksgiving yet the crowds wouldn't be all that bad.  Holy. Shit. Was I ever wrong. . .

Kinda have to throw your kids in this giant wreath-thing when you first walk into the store.  Wouldn't be good parenting, otherwise.

The girls wanted to pet these creepy nearly-life-size Santa Claus beards.  I was a little nervous, mainly 'cause upon checking these things' price tags, I saw that each one cost nearly $1,000.

Kris and I came to the agreement this year that we would put an end to one of our family traditions this year:  the exchange of Christmas ornaments on Christmas Eve.  We've been doing it ever since our first Christmas together as a couple (2005), and over the course of the past twelve years we've acquired a treasure trove of Hallmark ornaments.  Too much longer and we'd have to start purchasing additional Christmas trees just in order to house them, so we decided this year that we'd buy ourselves one ornament a year and call it good.  Kris really wanted a house ornament that we could personalize with the year we bought our new home, and so we settled upon this one.

The personalization process was kind of a pain, mainly due to the crowd size, but fortunately we only had to spent about fifteen minutes in line due to the fact that they had, like, thirty people working the Personalization Desk (or whatever the hell it's called.)  Abby was already getting pissy, a mere twenty minutes after showing up to the store, probably on account of the insane crowds (I f***ing hate people), so we were super grateful that there were children's activities on the backs of the store maps to keep her occupied while we waited in line to have our ornament personalized.  It only took a couple minutes to get our ornament personalized, then, with Abby on the verge of a meltdown and the congestion getting on all of our nerves, Kris and I decided to cut our losses and check out another store instead.

How terrifying would Santa be if he were really this size in real life?  The size of a frickin' Cave Troll, stomping around on your roof, destroying your home's value.  No.  Thank.  You.

I make it a point to photograph Kern's every chance I get.

The kids were in desperate need of some lunch, following our rushed, hectic, but surprisingly successful run to Bronner's, so we decided to pull off at this McDonald's in Frankenmuth.  'Cause tradition.

Recharging the batteries.

More recharging of batteries (yes, there is a child under all that.)

Kris wanted to check out Hobby Lobby in Saginaw, in order to check out Holiday decor, but also to buy a hook rack for the house.  Hobby Lobby is to Kris what Radio Wasteland is to Yours Truly:  we were in there for over an hour, and spent waaaay more than we probably should have.  But, as the saying goes:  happy wife, happy life.

Kris' new coat rack in the entryway, with a few Holiday-themed mason jar decorations she painted/created after checking out Christmas decor on Pinterest.

I may have gone a little nuts with the girls' play area in the basement.  It's a constant struggle containing the inner-Griswold that is always attempting to break out during the Holiday season. . .

I'm going to try and run a few more strands of Christmas lights upstairs in the Study, just not sure how to do it without putting nails or hooks in anything. . .

(I'm going to move the pipe collection, down at the bottom right there, down into the Captain's Quarters for the Holidays, and set up my parents' old, vintage Nativity scene there on that shelf.)

First 'Nog of the Holiday Season.  These moments are worth documenting, people.

With the weather these days beginning to cool off - and taking into consideration it's been raining every weekend for the last month - I decided to make the most of the sort-of-okay weather Sunday afternoon and started putting up our exterior Christmas lights.  There was no wind, it wasn't raining or snowing, and it was in the high-30s. . . when I started putting up the lights.  About halfway over the garage, however, the weather began to cool off.  By the time I had gotten the lights around the front of the house, the wind was gusting and blowing snow, and my fingers and toes were numb.  I had to take multiple breaks inside to thaw my extremities - I obviously couldn't abandon the project halfway through - but I eventually got all the lights hooked up.  Screw you very much, Mother Nature.  You spiteful bitch.

For dinner Sunday we let Alayna pick out a restaurant for her celebratory Honor Roll meal, and she went with. . . frickin' Olive Garden (I despise Italian food.)  This was Alayna's first year getting real grades, and she got all A's and one B+ (in Writing), so, you know, I kinda had to eat Italian food.  On the plus side, they did serve beer. . .

French fries at an ethnic restaurant.  Standard Hough move.

Following dinner, Kris had to run Alayna over to the Church in order to hit up her 'Tween group meeting (a special Sunday School class for 4th - 6th graders), so she charged me with helping Abby with her 'All About Me' board (it's called something else, but I forget.)  This elaborate project was to celebrate Abby as the class student of the week, and was unfortunately due tomorrow (Monday.)  I had to print off a bunch of pictures of Abby and her life from Walgreen's, help her cut out and glue them onto a board, and then quasi-guide her through the process of writing down stuff about herself that she could share with the class.  Took us about two hours, from start to finish, which wasn't too bad. . . but on a Sunday night, when you have to wake up early the next day in order to go to work, it's not really at the top of my 'Totally Bitchin' Things to Do with Your Time' list.

She did pretty good with it, if I don't say so myself.  Kinda wish we had started the project a couple weeks ago, when we first heard about the project and it's due date, but. . . well, we're Houghs.  And that's how we roll.

- Brian

Let Them Eat Thin Mints

Hawkin' the wares. . .

You wanna know what I hate?  Talking to strangers.

I hate small talk with a passion, and I also hate having to go out of my way in dealing with people, because - as I'm sure you're probably already aware - most people are idiots.

Prove me wrong.

Taking this into consideration, it was clear that I was bound to loath chaperoning my kid's girl scout cookie-selling booth this weekend.

The Cannonball tries her hand at Graphic Design

We were only there two hours, but it was a looooooong two hours.  Surprisingly enough, most people that passed by the table - set up right outside the exit doors of the Publix supermarket in Hunters Creek - stopped and bought something.  I figured we'd sell two boxes and be ignored by 95% of the shoppers that walked by us, but I guess most people in Hunters Creek aren't the asshole Yours Truly apparently is.


Anyway, here's a handful of pics from two hours of pure weirdness. . .

As it turns out, most of the people that stopped by and bought cookies from us were female (I guess chick's have more of a sweet tooth.)  We probably could have snagged more dudes if the Girl Scouts of America pushed  beer as well. . .

Busy workin'  the crowds

Smoke 'em if ya got 'em.

Photo courtesy of the Cannonball

- Brian

Random Crap Holocaust 2011

I have a humongous headache, folks. Here's why.

We had ourselves the garage sale this morning. And it was absolute chaos. We wanted to start the day off at 8am, so I went around the neighborhood in a mile radius or so, putting up directional 'Garage Sale!' signs and balloons and crap like that. By the time I got home, it was pushing 7am, so I figured I'd have at least an hour to set up the driveway before people started swarming our house.

I was wrong.

Folks began showing up at 7:15am! I hadn't even pulled anything out from the garage onto the driveway and they were digging through our wares. It was ridiculous. Evidently people in Central Florida don't know how to read. Or tell time.

Anyway, overall we had ourselves a pretty good run. We sold all of our big ticket items (items ranging in the $25 - $100 range), which was awesome, which the not-so-surprising exception of three of the four swords I was selling (I don't think God wants me to sell these swords, as I apparently must wield them in the upcoming apocalypse that will surely unfold once gas hits $4 a gallon this summer). We actually probably sold about 70% of the stuff we put out, and although people had to haggle on every, last item that we were selling, we ended up netting $337.60 by 1pm when we called it a day.


Booya!

The only downside to the entire day was the occasional haggle fest we'd get from these Haitian ladies that would constantly want to give you about 10 - 20% of what you were asking. They were after the baby clothes like rabid wolves, and would grab up piles of clothes - which, at Kris' pretty reasonable pricing, would cost about $100 - and want them all for $20.

That happened several times throughout the course of the morning. The first time it happened, Kris gave a woman probably $30 worth of stuff for free without even realizing it. A lady made off with a ton of brand new baby dresses, shoes, towels, etc. in her jumbled pile of clothes.

After that, Kris was on the warpath whenever those types of 'shoppers' showed up, and we didn't get taken by anyone again.

...I mean, seriously. Who the hell haggles 50 cent prices at a garage sale?!

- Brian