An Evening with the Kings of the Hill

What's up, homies.

We've had ourselves some pretty solid weather around here the last couple days, and today was no exception, as we remained in the low-80s with pure sun most of the day. On account of the good weather and everyone's relatively-open calendars, Tom invited all the Kings of the Hill over to his place for a grill-out. 

He was planning on a taco night, and was smoking a pork shoulder for carnitas, and so, as usual, the rest of us had to come up with something to contribute. I'm not much of a 'grill guy,' and let Kris handle that 90% of the time (neither of us are big 'food' people, we prefer to just eat quick and get it over with), so I struggled a bit with what to bring along. Finally, I decided to bust out the Cooking with Beer book - that I won from Mitch in the White Elephant game from the Sheahan Christmas Party - and whipped up a chipotle cheese dip that not only fit the taco theme for the night, but also tasted awesome.

I headed over to Tom's later on in the afternoon, and for the next several hours we hung out, played some cornhole, had some beers, and feasted like kings. All sans wives and kids.  Pretty damn awesome, if I do say so myself - I've spent far shittier Saturdays, that's for sure.

Here you go folks - enjoy.

Sprinkled some cilantro on top. You know, to be fancy and what-not.

Hot and muggy out on Tom's back patio.

I was an idiot and made this cheese mix in a Pyrex bowl instead of a crock pot (never doing that again), so I wasn't prepared for how fast the dip was going to cool off. Tom had an extra crock pot in his kitchen, so we dropped my entire cheese dish inside - ceramic bowl and all - and, as ghetto as it may have been, it worked perfectly. Removing the dish from the crock pot at the end of the night was definitely a bitch, but we finally got it. 

Damn It Tom checks in on his pork shoulder, which had, by this point in time, been smoking for several hours.

Ready for removal.

Erik and Mitch arrived shortly after I did, both bringing bacon-wrapped pieces of awesomeness that they had to smoke for a bit once Tom got his pork out of the way.

One of our friend group staples, bacon-wrapped jalapenos filled with spicy cheese is just about as close to Heaven as someone's gonna get.

We put out some of the dinner stuff for folks to graze upon while the last few things finished cooking on the grill.

This was incredible.

Just about done. Erik's offering is on the left - he had bacon-wrapped pieces of venison.

Props to these two and Tom, who enjoy the actual grilling process and do the whole 'mad scientist' thing with it. The entire ordeal always stresses me out, as I'm just trying to rush through it so I can be done and eat, then do dishes and go about my merry way.

By the time we had all finished eating, Omkar and Ryan rolled in.

We sat around and gorged ourselves stupid for a couple hours. That's why we're all in such great shape.

Omkar's contribution for the evening was his hookah and some authentic hookah tobacco he had purchased overseas.

Whatever the hell this was, it was awesome.

Collier, Omkar and I enjoyed the hookah while the other a-holes broke out Tom's set of cornhole boards.

Wouldn't be much of a Kings of the Hill hangout without cornhole. . .

Omkar and I would take on the winners of this match, then go on to win the next three or four matches handily. I was having the night of my life in terms of cornhole, folks - like, hitting three cornholes per throw, multiple times. Unreal. Probably on account of he hookah, who knows.

Losers smoke on the sidelines, following their humiliating defeat.

By the end of the night, Lonnie and Rob (a new addition to our band of heroes) had also showed up, but by then it was dark out and pics wouldn't have turned out great. . . and we were just sitting around talking anyway, so nothing really photo-worthy. If this summer ends up being compromised of nights like this, I'll be a happy camper indeed.

- Brian

Playing the Cards Dealt (Unfortunately)

How's it going, folks.

One of the annual parties for this friend group of ours is the Colliers' epic Euchre Tournaments. 

Collier is incredibly detail-oriented, and his set-up is second-to-none for something like this. Like in previous years, he's got the entire tournament set up in a series of nine or ten rounds, each with randomized players assigned to six tables spread out throughout this house. Each round consists of each player dealing two hands, and however many points each team gets is added to their running total. This information is entered into an Excel Spreadsheet with running formulas that keep track of scores, randomize playing teams, byes, and tables, and rank the tournament standings in real time (seriously.)

With a buy-in of $10, first- and second-place get cash payouts, with third place getting the collection of donated quarters (every time a team is euchred, they have to place quarters into cups stationed at each table.)  This year Collier did away with the rule that last and second-to-last place had to sing a karaoke duet, which is a shame, really - that's always fun to watch.

The last few years the Colliers have hosted this shin-dig, Yours Truly has usually finished around 7th/8th/9th place out of, say, twenty or so players - safely in the middle. 

This year, however, my hands throughout the evening were pure bullshit: I was regularly dealt hands with 9's, 10's, Queens, Kings, etc. - very rare Jacks and Aces. As such, I finished the evening at an abysmal 13th place out of twenty two, which I believe is my worst showing, ever.

Whatever. I guess it beats coming in dead last. . .  like Danielle.

So here you go, folks - another Euchre Tournament at the Collier residence. 

Enjoy. . .

See the TV on the stand in the corner? That's hooked up to an iMac Mini from which Collier is running his spreadsheet. Makes it easy for people to check out their tournament standings.

The Host

Second or third game of the tournament I was paired up with Erik. We won this round, which was cool, but from this point forward I more or less ate shit the rest of the evening.

Mitch and Erik get into the Woodford Reserve Double Oaked (my all-time favorite bourbon, ever since we visited that distillery back in August.)

Folks congregated in the Collier's recently-renovated kitchen as games wrapped up each round (some games finished a solid 20 minutes before others, so while waiting for the next round folks just grazed over the insane amount of food on hand.)

One of the last rounds of the tournament.

Sent this pic of all the wives to Kris, who was away with Abby downstate on some church youth retreat or whatever.

After the tournament wrapped up, a lot of folks began to take off. Those that stayed just continued to drink and gorge themselves stupid (as usual.)

Some of the usuals (Mitch, Erik, Omkar, Lonnie Big Balls, Collier, etc.)

(Not sure what's being discussed here, but it sure looks serious.)

Ran my hands through my hair and, with some residual product left in there from earlier, this is the result. I'm the life of the party, folks.

At the end of the night, on my way out to the car at 11:30pm or so, I took this pic of the Colliers' front yard, where you could see the remnants of the beer shotgunning that went on throughout the night. Yet another Collier Euchre Tournament in the books. Hopefully next year I do better. . .

- Brian

Family Portrait Session

Collier works his magic while posing the girls.

'Sup, Fam.

As some of you guys know, we Houghs didn't send out Christmas Cards last year. Totally dropped the ball. It's not like we didn't want to, mind you, but rather we never worked out how to get decent family pictures done in our hectic schedule in the months leading up to the Holidays. And we didn't have anyone to take them.

In previous years, our friend Collier - a freelance wedding photographer - takes portraits of all the families in our extended friend group. We, like the other families involved, end up using pictures from these sessions for our annual Christmas Cards. Alas, he was otherwise occupied last year with his wedding photography crap, but this year - thank God - he was able to once again schedule a random Sunday and assign people 20-minute slots for family photos.

So, for twenty minutes this afternoon, over at Midland City Forest this time around, he took pics of me, Kris and the girls. Weather was a little overcast but otherwise good, and for a small donation of $50 he took a bunch of pictures, touched them in Adobe Lightroom, and kicked 'em back to us in a week or two.

Not a bad deal at all, folks. And now this year, once again, you will all be receiving some flashy, new Christmas Cards. So, you know. . . keep an eye out on that ol' mailbox.

Here's a few from today's session, folks - enjoy.

The Houghs, ca. 2023.

Standing in the middle of a trail, for no reason. Like we always do.

Collier's a big fan of taking 'candid' pictures of families walking in a line towards him. He says 'just talk to each other and walk towards me,' and we end up with pics like this.

The Hough Girls.

(This one seems more accurate.)

We had to coerce them into actually touching one another for these pics - they usually shove each other off.

Abby

The Cannonball

And one of us, sans kids.

On our walk back towards the parking lot - the Larsons were next on his schedule - Collier spotted this rickety, wooden fence at the top of the ol' sledding hill and had us pose behind it.

And finally, for whatever reason, our kids requested Ryan take a picture of them at the top of the sledding hill, shaking hands.  I have no idea why - kids are weird - but Collier obliged.

- Brian