All Hail Kromdor III

Hey kids.

As you know, I go on two camping trips a year with my old high school buddies, both up at Trevor's family's hunting property:  one in the winter, when we stay inside the hunting cabin, and one during the summer, when we camp outside down by the pond. The other guys had started this traditional around 2013 or so, while Yours Truly was down in Florida, but since I've been back up in Michigan I've met up with them whenever possible.

This year, our annual summer camping trip just so happened to fall on the same weekend that my borther Bryan and his wife, Chelsey, were flying up from Tennessee and staying up at Eight Point. What has always been a weekend camping trip was consequently shortened down to one night, as I was double-booked, so I planned on bowing out of Friday and Friday evening and just popping in Saturday, staying all day and night, then returning to Eight Point first thing Sunday morning.

Sean works on this year's Kromdor for annual sacrifice. . .

So, like all of 2024 thus far, this year's camping adventure in the woods was a much more timid affair. Didn't help much that when I arrived to their campsite Saturday morning, all the rest of the guys were in rough shape - apparently they had gone at it hard the night before, so morale was a bit low. Also didn't help much that it was pushing 90 degrees out with barely a cloud in the sky, and out in the woods we didn't really have a lake to swim in, or jet skis to ride on, or anything like that - we just had to retreat into the shade and sweat as little as possible.

All in all, though, it was still good seeing the old crew, and we still kept hold of the usual traditions - cooling off in the creek, hiking through the woods, singing karaoke, and - of course - constructing and sacrificing the annual Kromdor totem at the end of the night.

Here's this year's summer version of Clare High School's camping venture (toned down substantially from previous years, 'cause 2024 and all.) Enjoy. . .  

Sean had mapped out his cut lines on this log prior to bringing it up, then painted it partially red, then started to hack away at it with a chainsaw

His daughter, Grace, Matt Lee, and Scrunge's girlfriend sat by and watched the master at work.

When I first rolled in, this is what everyone was doing. Some folks had run into nearby Rosebush for supplies (ice, food, beer, etc.), and some folks were still sleeping it off. I set up my tent and put my crap away, then joined the others to watch Sean narrowly avoid cutting his fingers off.

Some of the tents, situated along one of the many paths that zig-zag through the 80 acres of woods on the property (mine's the little blue dude second from left.)

One of the kitchen pavilions. There were approx. 50 or so people camping up at the property this summer (a lot of Trevor and Sean's relatives come up to hang out, and most stay the night), so we had multiple kitchen setups.

Couldn't find any other knife laying around to slice limes for my Corona, so I had to adapt and overcome.

He was at this for a couple hours.

Sean decided that Kromdor needed some spider legs this year (last year the dude definitely got some impressive limbs.) He also gave it sideburns this year because, as the joke went, because I didn't come out the night before they were modeling Kromdor after Yours Truly. Nyuck nyuck.

Kromdor III

With Kromdor complete, we all ventured down to the nearby creek to cool off - by this point in time the sun was at its zenith and it was absolutely hot as hell outside.

Scrunge and Sean's cousin (always forget his name) cooling off in the creek.

This giant tree had collapsed into the creek over the last couple of months, falling directly onto what used to be called Seanlandia - a little 'sandbar' of peddles where you could set up camping chairs in the river. Not sure how Trevor's gonna go about fixing this disaster.

Sweaty (I had already showered that morning, and had zero product in my hair.)

Brutus - basically the size of a mastiff with the temperament of a pit bull - explored up and down the river, biting at the water.

Dogs are dumb as hell.

Grace, Scrunge and Sean, soaking their bums in the creek.

Getting that wet in dirty water and not being able to shower off did not sound fun to Trevor and I at all, we sat nearby on a log and drank beer.

After an hour or two down at the creek, folks began to get bored so we labored back up the steep embankment back towards the campsite. On the way, we passed by the hunting cabin and found this familiar animal skull still chilling on the back deck.

To the left there is the outhouse we built last summer on this very same camping trip. Wasn't nearly as hot out that year, that's for damn sure.

The rest of the crew finally joins up with me after making their way to the top of the embankment (I'm one of the only adults at these annual get-togethers that exercises regularly and doesn't smoke, so I'm arguably in better shape then them.)

While we had been down at the creek, Kromdor had patiently kept watch over our fire pit, awaiting his inevitable demise.

Scrunge's girlfriend, Sean, Scrunge, and Matt, trying to cool off in the shade of the trees.

As we drew closer to dinner time, Sean and Scrunge set about gathering firewood (once you get the fire going it just makes more sense to have enough wood on hand to keep it going until folks crash at the end of the night.)

The giant woodpile we use every year.

Trevor is convinced, and has stated repeatedly over the years, that it's totally possible for one to walk across the length of this gross-ass pond without going under water, it's that shallow. Seeing how disgusting that would be - I'm sure it's like six feet of filthy muck at the bottom - no one's every attempted it since I've been coming here.

Trevor cooks his family up some pork chops (or something, I don't know - I wasn't paying attention and all meat looks the same to me.)

Primed and ready to roll for later this evening.

People - myself included - were falling asleep in their chairs most of the evening as the weather cooled off. A combination of having beers in 90 degree weather - and for the rest of them, being hungover most of the day - meant the energy and vibe of the assembled was much more chill this year compared to previous years. It was a struggle to stay awake as we hung out around the fire, listening to music.

Like last year, Sean brought up all his karaoke equipment, along with the McNerney family (despite having to run back to Clare to get the correct cords to hookup their computer to the speakers.) 

I didn't get nearly as many pictures and video of this year's performances, despite having nearly 20 or 30 people perform (they were at it for hours.) Like I said, I was falling asleep in my chair most of the night, wasn't feeling it this year at all.

Good ol' Scrunge.

Around midnight, it was time to sacrifice Kromdor to our heathen gods. . .

Wrapping the totem in birch tree bark helped it explode into an absolute inferno. . .

About an hour into Kromdor's death, some folks ventured out for the annual 'midnight walk' through the trees (even though by this point it was closer to 1am. That's usually my favorite thing to do, stumbling through the woods in pitch black, with no lights for guidance, but I couldn't physically do it this year. Me, Trevor, Matt, and most of the others just stumbled back to our tents and crashed, totally wiped out from the day's oppressive heat. Maybe next year will be a return to form, and not so, you know, 2024 and everything. . .

- Brian

All Hail Kromdor II

What up, Internet.

July is definitely shaping up to be the Hough family's big 'camping' month this summer. Nearly every weekend this month has seen us staying out in tents for a few nights, and this weekend was no exception. While my roommates hung out back home in Midland, Yours Truly reconvened with my old high school crew - Sean, Lee, Trevor, Scrunge - and several others for a weekend of tenting out on Trevor's 80-acre property. 

You folks may recall that I usually go on a couple rustic trips per year with this bunch - usually one in the winter (when we stay in Trevor's family's hunting cabin) and one in the summer, where we camp out in tents. The winter one fell through this year, so this was actually the first time I had been out to Trevor's property since we did this whole song-and-dance a year ago.

Weather was perfect for being outdoors, though - high 70s and sunny, with little rain to speak of (we had a brief scare with some ominous storm clouds on Day Two, but they passed us by without more than a brief sprinkle.) Only things that differentiated this time around from our previous years' trips was a.) Trevor commanded us to help him build a new outhouse for the property (seriously), and b.) Sean brought up a fully-functional karaoke set up. . . something one wouldn't expect to find in the middle of the frickin' woods on a rustic camping trip.

So yeah, without further adieu, here you go - another adventure in the woods with Clare High School's finest. Enjoy. . .

The camp site area of the property, down the drive from the hunting cabin. Trevor and his cousins recently bulldozed down a large triangle of trees to open the area up more, but lots of roots and stumps were still popping up out of the ground. Place looked like some World War I battlefield.

I arrived late in the morning and quickly set up my tent, the first non-McNerney to show aside from Scrunge (I've got it down to a science these days.)

After tents were set up, Trevor, Scruge and I walked over to the cabin area to inspect the area where we'd be building the outhouse on the following day.

Hard to tell from this angle, but this latrine hole is about six to eight feet deep and three feet wide - a considerable pit you wouldn't want to fall into.

Inside the cabin (that we didn't stay in at all this weekend.)

While waiting for everyone else to arrive, Trevor and Scrunge decided to kill some time by prepping some firewood for later on in the evening.

(I wanted no part of this.)

Handguns and forties (I had no idea they still made forties, but when Trevor and I made a quick beer run into Rosebush - a small village close to his property - I stumbled upon them in the beer section of a gas station. Haven't seen one of 'em in years.)

Lunch break, post- firewood collection and beer fetching.

We sat around most of the afternoon, waiting for folks to show up. Most folks weren't rolling in until the early evening. 

The embedded compass on the hilt of my bush knife. Not the greatest quality, but the gimmick is cool.

Trevor's wife, Sara, found this old chair at her aunt's house, in like brand new condition. I had this exact, same chair growing up in the '80s - same color scheme and everything - so I was extremely jealous. It's not sun-faded, or frayed, or anything.

This pond's gross as hell.

Scrunge's friend, Chad, showed up after a few hours and quasi-set up his tent (but it was a hot mess for most of the weekend.)

Trevor inspects his row boat (his older daughter, Raegan, wanted to go fishing later in the evening.)

Getting a fire going for dinner. . .

McNerney's begin fishing. . .

This cast iron contraption they have for cooking over a fire is pretty sweet.

Trevor shows off a bass (sorry for the quality, I was zooming in with a phone from like 200 feet away.)

Folks continued to show up throughout the evening - Sean and his crew, Scrunge's girlfriend (forget her name), Luke, Lee, etc. - but things remained pretty chill as the night came on.

Marlboro Reds, Pepto Bismal, a Chainsaw. . . you can tell Trevor's been here.

Hanging out by the fire at the end of the night.

Late morning of Day Two.

Sean begins construction on his annual, wooden idol that serves as a sacrifice to the bonfire at the end of Day Two.

This dude always has to keep himself busy with shit like this. . .

While Sean began assembling his wooden sacrifice, the rest of us headed up to the hunting cabin to start constructing the new outhouse.  This process would take about seven hours from start to finish (with a few breaks thrown in here and there.)

Dragging the floor beams into position over the latrine pit.

The measuring component of all of this was far more difficult than the actual physical labor aspect of it.

Scrunge, Luke, and Chad

Matt Lee and Trevor

The construction of this was pretty straight forward, just lots of measuring and cutting that made the project drag on and on and on. . .

The floor takes shape.

I wanted nothing to do with those frickin' saws. . .

Wall frames secured.  Time to break for lunch.

Sean's annual sacrifice is complete. All hail Kromdor, second of his name.

Sandwich time.

Another run into Rosebush for more ice (and beer.)

Once lunch was finished and the coolers were restocked, Trevor, Scrunge Chad, and I continued throwing up the outhouse (the other three guys quit the project out of boredom.)

Building the seat.

That plastic sheet is to keep urine from soaking into the wood and making the entire outhouse smell like crap.

Scrunge gives the thing a test drive. . .

The siding goes up.

These nail guns sure got a shit-ton of use throughout the day.

Putting on the roof (Trevor went with a clear roof so that it had better lighting inside.)

We had to stop construction part way through the afternoon as the skies started to look incredibly perilous.  Everyone scurried over to the hunting cabin for shelter, but I ran back to zip up the windows of my tent  (and grab a beer for the time being - this was pretty good, as far as summer beers go.)

The assembled masses, hanging out outside the cabin (the storm passed over without so much as a drop, so construction on the outhouse resumed after an hour or so.)

The construction crew.

Taking another break from construction, back at the camp site.

Assembling the door.

Scrunge cuts out the hole for the toilet.

Hanging the door was, by far, the trickiest part of this entire process.  It had to hang exactly right in order to open and close freely.

After multiple adjustments, we finally got the door to sit correctly.

Gotta have one of these.

Installing a motion light above the door.

She's a beaut.

With the weekend's mission complete, we returned to the camp site for dinner. Some other members of Sean's family had arrived by then, including his sister, Emily. Sean tried feeding her rat day a hotdog, but the thing wasn't having any of it.

As evening came on, Scrunge and I began chopping down more firewood, and Sean began to prep his karaoke set up (which included hooking up his generator.)

Pole saws are sweet.

Sean's karaoke set up and stage.

Kromdor keeps watch over the camp site.

Sean's party alter-ego, Lazer Snake.  Yes, I'm serious.

Sean's daughter, Grace, designed a Hylian Shield (from the Legend of Zelda) for Kromdor, which was pretty awesome.

Lazer Snake's concert begins. . .

As you can tell, the night's karaoke sessions were just as much of a shit-show as you'd expect. . .

After the karaoke numbers, as people began to lose interest, we figured it was time to sacrifice Kromdor II to the flames. . .

In he goes. . .

And so ends another camping adventure with the ol' High School crew.  See ya next year, Internet.

- Brian