Broam vs. The Gatekeeper, and Other Tales

A failed attempt at a nap on the drive downstate. . .

Hi folks.

These last two days saw Yours Truly descend down into the Butthole of the United States, more commonly known as Ohio, to chaperone my school's annual 8th Grade field trip to Cedar Point.  An overnight, two-day blowout featuring two days in the roller coaster-centric amusement park, approximately seven hours in a charter bus, and about 250 sunburnt teenagers.

I've done this trip about five times now, and this time was by far the chilliest: the first day of the park compromise of overcast skies with 20 mph winds and high temps in the low 60's.  The second day improved slightly, with highs in the low 70's, some sun, and lower winds, but still - I wore a jacket more than I ever have in previous years.

Not a lot of bronzing on this trip, rest assured.

Anyway, I'm including a bunch of pics the staff took of our trip, and excluding the majority of them because they featured kids (see: FERPA) - more of tless what I do every year, no surprises there.

So here you go, readers - this year's Cedar Point excursion into the Dumpster Fire of Ohio.  Enjoy. . .

As we closed in on the park, we randomly passed by this old Masonic building.  Nobody else on my bus seemed to notice.

Spotted this strip club right beyond the road you turn on to that leads you straight into the park.  Probably would have gotten a sticky note in my teacher file if I had directed the bus full of 8th graders to stop off at this joint.

Here we go again. . .

Steve - the math teachers on my team - was one of the other two teachers on my bus for this trip, and here he's passing out admission tickets to students as they exit the bus and make their way to the park entrance.

Middle School teachers stopping off at the First Aid Station, right upon entering the park, in order to drop off the student Med Bag (one of those stupid things you always have to do on large-scale field trips like this one, in case kids need access to their prescription meds while in the park.)

Darby, Snoopy, and Coughlin

Bunch of the teachers wanted to start off with this gigantic frickin' ferris wheel right upon entry, which I wouldn't have gone on anyway - seeing how I'm deathly afraid of heights - but with the winds rolling off Lake Erie at a brisk 20 mph (and this ferris wheel was right on the water) the wind chill was absolutely insane.  I had no qualms with riding a bench for this one.

Benkert and Priem (my former work wives back when I was on LC 8-2), Simmons (a fellow 8th Grade Social Studies teacher), and Coughlin (a long-term sub that will end up with a job at our school as soon as one opens up.)

After the ferris wheel, with all of the students scattered to the four winds, our group of 8th grade teachers ventured into the park to start knocking out roller coasters.

The Gemini - a relic from the park's early years.

Scott (a special ed para-pro), Sawley and Chobod (the ELA and Science teacher on my current LC, 8-3), and Simmons on some carousel.

We eventually made our way into Frontierland (or whatever the hell it's called in Cedar Point), where Yours Truly, Simmons, Benkert, and Priem decided to hit up the Mine Ride - one of my favorite roller coasters in the park (and arguably the lamest in terms of intensity.)

I love this ride - it's about as intense as Thunder Mountain Railroad in Magic Kingdom.

After the Mine Ride, our group - which has lost a few members by this point - continued towards the back corner of the park in order to hit up the Maverick (I passed on this one, a little too intense for my blood.)

Heading back towards the center of the park.  Some of the teachers by this point were wanting to grab some food, but Sawley and Reynolds - who are vegans - wanted to try and find something for them.  I went along with those two to find because I wasn't really all that hungry to begin with.

We decided to check out a restaurant by the marina, which was located outside of the park within walking distance.  To get there, you had to pass through a security checkpoint, which was located on the other side of this monstrosity, Valraven.  That's one hell of a drop.

After the drop you have to endure this bullshit (you can see the passengers mid-loop, there.)

These two couldn't find the restaurant they were after - I guess it was a couple miles down the coastline, so they said 'screw it' and we just popped into nearby Famous Dave's (where we always eat out for dinner.)

Waiting for vegan fries and what-not.

Interior of Famous Dave's - the staff always eats here for dinner on the first day of the park.

Meanwhile, back in the park, Chobod, Catlin (8-1 ELA), Mayer (8-2 Social Studies), Benkert, Priem, Simmons and Coughlin were eating shitty-ass park food at one of the outdoor kiosks between rides.

When Sawley, Reynolds and I came back into the park, we decided to hit up the Gatekeeper - the ride I had vowed to undertake this time around.   Every year I try and conquer another roller coaster, seeing how I'm not all that brave with these things.  In 2017 it was the Mine Ride, in 2018 it was Iron Dragon, in 2022 it was the Corkscrew, and now it was the Gatekeeper's turn.

There was only a ten-minute wait, so it was kind of a no-brainer at this point.  The ride itself was definitely more intense than the previous three I had toughed-out, but manageable - I liked it better than the Corkscrew, for sure.

Another group shot of the other teachers.

Heading back out towards Famous Dave's, following me and Reynolds' rescue of a student who needed help at the First Aid Station - we ended up about twenty minutes late to dinner.

Chow time.

After rendezvousing with our students at the carousel by the front entrance (as usual), we walked them out to their designated buses in order to shuttle them back to our usual hotel, The Breakers.

Heading back to the hotel along the outskirts of the park.

Hotel Breakers.

Drop off of students went a lot smoother than in previous years, as we had more staff on hand - three per bus, opposed to the usual two per bus - giving us more hands on deck to stagger kids into their rooms and get them settled (probably the biggest pain in the ass on the entire two-day trip.)

Sunset over Cedar Point at the close of Day One.

Catlin and Benkert in the side lobby after the three of us managed to herd in over 250 teenagers with all their suitcases and coolers.

The boy's floor after Reynolds and I settled all the groups into their rooms. As I've said in previous Cedar Point posts, all kids are grouped four or five to a hotel room (girls on one floor, boys on another), and after they're settled in we tape their doors shut (so we can see if their doors have been opened in the night) and hired police officers patrol the hallways to make sure everyone's quiet in their rooms.  In all the years we've been doing this, there's never been an issue (miraculously.)

Steve and I each got our own rooms this year, seeing how we're the only two male teachers on this trip.  Can't complain.

Behold - your obligatory hotel room pics.

(We didn't use any of these features.)

At one point, the two of us met up with six other teachers downstairs to hang out for a bit.  The interior design of this hotel is pretty awesome.

Outdoor fires (which we didn't utilize this year, it was pretty frickin' cold out - we've sat our here in previous years when the weather's been more tolerable.)

We all turned in around midnight, having gotten to hang out as adults for a couple hours - always a good time.

The next morning, around 6:00am.  I had wanted to sleep in until 7am or so, but Steve and I were idiots and forgot to close the window blinds to our room. . . which just so happened to overlook Lake Erie and the eastern sky.  The sun rose without a cloud in the sky, and our room was lit up like the Fourth of July.  Oh well - was going to have to stock up on coffee in order to push through a second day of wrangling teenagers in the park.

View of the pool. . . which we've never, ever gotten around to using.

View of the park, located directly next door, from the elevator landing on our floor.  Steve and I began to wake up boys at 7:30am with instructions to get all their stuff around, clean up their room, and be ready to roll in a half an hour.  We always escort groups down to their designated charter buses in order to stow their coolers and suitcases under the buses before heading over to a nearby cafeteria for their complimentary breakfast.

Around 8:30am, we were escorting our hundreds of 8th graders along the beachside walkway towards the cafeteria, having successfully checked everyone out of the hotel and onto the buses in order to stow their overnight gear.  From this point forward, they would be in the park and not back on the buses until 5pm for the return trip home.

Backside view of Hotel Breakers.

Walking to Breakfast

This Lakeside Pavilion is a pretty nice set up:  located directly next door to one of the park's side entrances, kids can sit indoors, gorge themselves stupid on a complimentary breakfast buffet, then head into the park from there.

Eggs and hash browns, and what I think is muffins - wide variety of options for picky teenagers.

Sausages, bacon, yogurt, cereal, etc.

Coffee and tea station.  I had, like, five cups of coffee this morning - it was gonna be a rough day.

The staff moves through the line once all the kids have been through (some of them multiple times.)

After distributing Day Two admission tickets and sending out our kids - and after we had all gotten a chance to guzzle coffee and scarf down our morning meal - the staff gathered up our things and headed back outside towards the park entrance.  As we were doing so, a freighter just happened to be passing by - always cool to see one of those.

This package deal we offer our 8th graders has us entering the park on the second day of our trip about an hour earlier than the general public, meaning kids can knock out some of those high-demand rides before anyone else is in the park (which is helpful for those people crazy enough to hit up some of those high-demand coasters.)

Like I said earlier, the weather was better today (though I would have appreciated temps in the 80s for sure - still jacket weather down here.)

Group pic of the 8th grade staff.

Snapped a quick one of us en route to the Millenium Force - one of those rides that gets a ridiculously long line as the day goes on.

Not surprisingly, I sat on a bench with folks' purses and string bags for this one.

Nothing about that drop looks fun.  We had multiple students pass out on this drop.

Once again entering Frontierland (or whatever the hell it's called.)

One of my students checks out a fake outhouse (you open the door about an inch and a recorded voice from inside starts yelling at you to shut the door because they're taking a crap or something - wakka wakka.)

Horsies.

This early in the morning, most everything was still closed.  Oh well.

Ye ole stockade fort.

I wouldn't trust a fort in Ohio to stand against any competent enemy.  F*** these people.

LC 8-3 in the Stocks. Left to Right: Reynolds (Math), Sawley (ELA), Yours Truly (Social Studies), and Chobod (Science.)

Continuing on through Old West Town (seriously don't know what this area's called.)

A non-functioning sawmill.

Some water ride that wasn't running when I took this picture (because, you know, it was still super early. . . not to mention like 60 degrees out at this point.)

A bunch of the staff wanted to hit up Steel Vengeance, in the back corner of the amusement park, so we made our way that way - almost being run over by the park's train at one point.

The line for Steel Vengeance was just starting to fill up when we got there, so the staff dumped off their bags with us lame teachers who passed on an opportunity to go on this ride (it was usually me, Chobod, Catlin and Darby riding the benches) - I have zero qualms with sitting in the sun and bronzing while reading a book.

Got a pic of some of our staff and students in front of this sign while they were waiting in line.  My favorite thing in this picture is the dude at the far right who's photobombing the pic - not all heroes wear capes.

After they had gotten off of the Steel Vengeance, we walked back into the center area of the park (this is the backside of the Gemini.)

Backside view of the now-closed Dragster, which is no longer in operation (in 2021 a metal bracket flew off the ride and struck and severely injured a woman and it's been closed ever since.)  They haven't torn it down yet, though.

While a large portion of the staff hit up the super long line for Valravn, Mayer, Darby and I decided we'd break up their wait time (which saw us guarding all their crap) by hitting up the nearby antique car ride.

Mayer and I.

Darby driving us along.

Some carousel we passed by along the way.

Afterwards, we headed back to Valravn and our coworkers were still in line - we managed to get a pic of them once they reached this landing on their way up to the ride's loading point.

Those aren't random riders up there, those are our coworkers (yes, I was keeping track at this point.)  I took a pic of them just as they were hanging momentarily at the precipice right before the huge drop.  You couldn't pay me enough to go on this ride.

After Valravn, our group splintered off here and there, but some of us headed back into the center area of the park in order to hit up some of the lamer rides (which, as you know by now, I'm a big fan of.)

Probably the lamest ride park (intensity-wise) in the entire park, aside from the Mine Ride.  The Iron Dragon.

This is one of my favorite rides in the park:  the line is never long, it's not too scary (shut up), and it's super fast.

After Iron Dragon, we reconnected with a bunch of the other teachers and got in line to board the Cedar Point Railroad - a must for us old folks.

The train pulls into the 'station.'

All aboard. . .

This thing belches out a shit-ton of smoke - can't be good for the environment (or park attendees' lungs.)

Reynolds, Yours Truly, Simmons, Coughlin, and Mayer.

Look out for skeletons. . .

Backside of the Mine Ride (which sits atop this stagnant pond. . . gross.)

Watching skeletons put out fires.  Always a blast.

After we disembarked from our twenty-minute train ride (not sure how long it actually takes), it was about time to start messaging students to once again rendezvous at the carousel for our scheduled 5:00pm departure time.  On our way back towards the front of the park, I ducked into a few souvenir stores in order to find a mug for my ever-growing collection of Cedar Point mugs that I keep in my room.  I pick up a mug of each roller coaster that I successfully conquer and then keep them in my room for tea and what-not throughout the year.  I unfortunately couldn't find a Gatekeeper one that matched my existing ones - it almost looks like they changed up the design.  Gonna try again next year.

Despite Yours Truly volunteering to run back into the park in for three missing students (we always get a few stragglers on Day Two), we managed to load up the buses and get back onto the road only 15 minutes behind schedule (about the norm on these trips.)  An uneventful bus ride back saw us getting back to Saginaw around 9:30pm, and after making sure every student was successfully picked up by their awaiting parents and guardians, I hit the road.  Got back to Midland around 10:15pm, made myself a cocktail, and finally got a chance to relax.  These trips are a lot of fun, but a lot of work.  Still, in the end, doing stuff like this beats the hell out of being in classroom.  Until next time, Cedar Point.

- Brian