Saturday, November 13, 2021

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. LXXVI

Ladies and Gentledudes of the Internet, I present to you now the return of America's Greatest Yuletide Event:

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey.

So this is, truly, one of my favorite Holiday traditions.  I've been doing this since I first started collecting vinyl, back in 2005, but this is now the seventh year I've been documenting the whole thing on this here blog of ours (with a whopping seventy-five installments thus far.) 

Now, being the first installment in this year's season of vinyl reviewin', I'll once again direct your attention to the cherished rating scale we use around these parts:

10 - . . . And Out Come the Wolves (a symbol of perfection, and arguably one of the greatest albums made in the last twenty five years)
9 - Cowabunga! (if it makes you want to shout like a Ninja Turtle, you know it's good.)
Awesome (worthy of repeated spins during the Holidays)
7 - Pretty Rad (generally, in order for an album of mine to stay in Holiday Season Rotation, it needs to be rated '7' and up.)
- Decent (once and awhile a '6' makes it into constant rotation, but only if it satisfies a previously-vacant Holiday music niche.  These albums almost always get 'Shelved':  I hold on to them - for the time being - but they lose turntable time for the duration of the Season.)
5 - Meh  (anything below this point is almost always put into my annual 'Donate to Goodwill' pile)
4 - Borophyll (there may be some redeeming qualities here that might make albums at this score appeal to some people, but definitely not Yours Truly.)
3 - Seriously? (comically bad, if you will.)
2 - Reality TV (there's only one thing shittier than Reality TV in my opinion, and that is. . .)
1 - Ohio (the Ninth Circle of Hell)

Good.  Now that everyone's been refreshed with how shit works around here, let's just go ahead and get started, shall we. . .

Album Title A Christmas Gift for You
Album Artist:  Various Artists


I picked this up last year after having it sit on an Amazon list for years and years.  I had heard mixed things about various pressings regarding this release, so I was definitely nervous about picking it up.  Ultimately, I said 'screw it' and pulled the trigger, figuring if the pressing was all that bad I could just go ahead and return it.


Well, fortunately there was no need - the pressing I got sounds just fine.  Should've picked this up years ago.

Anyway.

Folks, this classic collection of Holiday standards is well-known and considered by most to be one of the best Christmas albums in existence.  Four artists - Darlene Love, The Crystals, Bob B. Soxx and the Blue Jeans, and The Ronettes - all provide multiple tracks on this release.  Some of these are well-known staples now - Darlene Love's "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home" and "Marshmallow World," The Ronettes' "Sleigh Ride" and "Frosty the Snowman," etc. - this album is stacked with Holiday classics.

The biggest artist on this release, however, is one Phil Spector.  His legendary Wall of Sound is clearly the star attraction, and is on prominent display from start to finish:  each one of these tracks sounds off like a canon barrage, a wave of volume and balance that must have blown people's Holiday socks off when they first heard it.  From the way the drums are tuned to the layers-upon-layers of vocal tracks, these recordings are nearly impeccable.

If there's a downside to this album at all, it's that Spector was such a notorious control freak over his sound that each of these artists all sound the same - their voices, the sound of the backing band (The Wrecking Crew), the way individual instruments are mic'd, and the volume in which everything is balanced.  Everything is carbon-copied.  Because of this singularity in sound, there's no 'highs and lows' to be had on this album, no audio palette cleanse, so to speak.  

The best albums have moments of calm and moments of fury, loud and soft, fast and slow - it gives the head a chance to get its bearing and anticipate what's coming next.  What Spector has done here instead is just open up the floodgates and let his fury run rampant for two, full sides of Holiday Cheer (with the exception of his spoken 'From Our House to Yours' send-off at the end of Side 2.)  And while there isn't a weak track to be found on this album (aside from that last one on Side 2, but we don't really need to count that), the album can be exhausting if you're taking it all at once.  In other words, you could pull this album in its entirety and dump it into a Holiday playlist, along with other songs, and it would be phenomenal (that's what I've done, actually.)

So, say what you will about Phil Spector himself (because, as we all know, he F***ING MURDERED SOMEONE), the man definitely knew his way around a control board.  I don't care how controlling, manipulative, and dictator-like you are as a producer - if you can create works of art like this for people, you're clearly doing something right.  

Just perhaps don't bring firearms into the studio.  Santa Claus ain't down threatening people with violence, Phil.


VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (Phil Spector straight-up kills as a producer on this classic Holiday compilation. . .  juuuuust like he kills B-movie actresses.)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

- Brian

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