The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. LII

Welcome back to the Odyssey, America.

I forgot to remind you all, in my last post, of the scale we use around these parts when rating these Holiday audio offerings.  This is what you can look forward to, my personalized 1-to-10 Scale:

10 - . . . And Out Come the Wolves (a symbol of perfection, and arguably one of the greatest albums made in the last twenty five years)
9 - Cowabunga! (if it makes you want to shout like a Ninja Turtle, you know it's good.)
8 - Awesome
7 - Pretty Rad (generally, in order for an album of mine to stay in Holiday Season Rotation, it needs to be rated '7' and up.)
6 - Decent (once and awhile a '6' makes it into constant rotation, but only if it satisfies a previously-vacant Holiday music niche.)
5 - Meh  (Albums in the 6 - 4 range almost always get 'Shelved.'  I hold on to them - for the time being - but they lose turntable time for the duration of the Season.)
4 - Borophyll
3 - Seriously? (anything below this point is put into my annual 'Donate to Goodwill' pile)
2 - Reality TV (there's only one thing shittier than Reality TV in my opinion, and that is. . .)
1 - Ohio (the Ninth Circle of Hell)

Now, let us throw on your jam pants. . .

Album Title:  Popular Christmas Classics

Album Artist:  Various Artists

Santa, probably writing up his Manifesto.

So I snatched this up from some thrift store awhile back - God knows which one - and it's sat in my pile of 'records-to-review' box down in our storage room for a couple of years.   I picked it up for the album art (at left), which, to me, hints at a ridiculously hokey, dated Christmas track list.  At the time, I didn't really read the artists and song selections that are literally plastered all over the cover, but, as you can see, it's definitely a 'Best of. . .'  for the Holiday Season.

This album definitely lives up to its title.  Nearly every song on this album can be heard every year in stores, on the radio, in TV commercials, you name it.  In fact, I'd say roughly two-thirds of the tracks here are the definitive versions of each Christmas song.

Probably safe to say all these guys are dead by now.

You've got Burl Ives' famous version of 'A Holly, Jolly Christmas,' the stand-out track from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.  There's Bing Crosby's 'Do You Hear What I Hear?,' that's easily the most-widely recognized version of that song, and was made famous by its iconic usage in Gremlins.  The Harry Simeone Chorale's rendition of 'The Little Drummer Boy' is the one you hear in your head the second I name the song title - it's the quintessential version of that carol.  There's more, too, that are easily the most-played versions one hears during this time of year.

The Balrog

All things considered, this should be at least a '9.'  Maybe an '8,' considering there's a couple less-known and 'meh'-ish tracks from Glen Campbell and Leroy Anderson on here you don't really give two craps about, and aren't as widely heard as most of the others.

But then there's Tennessee Ernie Ford.  That baritone-spewing, Balrog of a crooner, who has broadsided this Record Odyssey of mine time and time again over the years with his all-out shittiness.  He brings his usual Holiday Horror voice to the forefront with his terrifying version of "The Star Carol," which, if his voice tells us anything at all, probably references a frickin' pentagram.

I hate this guy so damn much. . .

VERDICT:  6/10 - Meh (This Greatest Hits-ish compilation features several famous songs that are mandatory listening for the Holiday season, but Tennessee Ernie Ford barges onto the scene and sinks this album a couple points all by his terrifying lonesome.)

- SHELVED -