Sunday, December 4, 2016

The Great Christmas Record Odyssey, Ep. XXIV

Time for a double-header of straight-up Christmas classics, gang. . .

Album Title:  Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer
Album Artist:  Burl Ives and Co.

Honestly, I don't know why I'm even wasting the time to review this.  You know what this sounds like already.

I went out of my to by this album off Amazon (seriously), because I felt that it was classic that needed a spot in my Holiday music section.  I think I snagged it for $16, thereabouts.  Anyway, you already know exactly what this sounds like, because everybody in America - since the '60s - knows exactly what this sounds like.  Hell, I'm sure even the Dagombas in my old village of Sankpala can quote Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by heart these days.

That being said, I want to focus instead on my main gripe with this album; one that pulls it's ranking down a solid two points.  What we have here are duplicate versions of the same handful of songs: Side A features vocals on all arrangements, while Side B features just the music.  Vocals on one side, instrumentals on the other.  Take that for what it is, I guess, but for $16 I think more than eight or nine songs - and their duplicates - would have been nice.

Know what I mean, Vern?
Now, I will say this:  the instrumental versions are a cool bonus. While Side A (featuring vocals) is definitely kid-centric and nostalgic, it's not necessarily something you'd want to throw in all the time.  You definitely have to be in the mood to listen to a kid's Christmas record (say, when your kids are in the living room and you want to feel nostalgic.)  Children's albums are indeed crucial to any Holiday music collection, but you need other flavors in there as well.  Some orchestral choir arrangements for the religious carols, some jazzy instrumentals (done right), some classics crooned by the masters, some genre-specific albums (honky tonk, rock and roll, oldies) etc.  Variety's the spice of life, folks.

This album's B Side, with their instrumental versions from the holiday special, are a welcome change from the vocals, and will undoubtedly increase the frequency of this album's playing throughout the Holiday season.  I just wish this was a two-disc album, with one LP being vocals and one LP being instrumentals.

Oh well.


VERDICT:  8/10 - Awesome (A children's classic, chock-full of nostalgia, that lose a couple points from lack of songs)

- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -


Album Title:   Christmas with the Chipmunks
Album Artist:  The Chipmunks (feat. David SeVille)

  
Like Burl Ives' 'Holly Jolly Christmas' or Jimmy Durante's 'Frosty the Snowman,'  the Chipmunks' 'Christmas Song (Christmas Don't Be Late)' is so well-known it has become a household staple across varying cultures and backgrounds.  Whether or not that's a particularly good thing, I'll leave it up to you to judge.  


Where the hell are the Chipmunks' real parents?  Did they die?
I mean, let's be honest, here:  singing chipmunks aren't for everyone.


I found this album for 99 cents at a thrift store somewhere downstate over the summer, and picked it up for the same reason I picked up the Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer soundtrack, Disney's Christmas All-Time Favorites, and Vince Guaraldi Trio's A Charlie Brown Christmas album:  its yuletide nostalgia, and reminds me of all the awesome Christmases from my youth.

Does that necessarily mean that this album still holds up for a dude pushing his late 30s?  

Meh.  


I mean, upon throwing this on the turntable and giving it a listen, some of the back-and-forth banter is amusing, but after awhile the adult in you can't help but start analyzing the vocals on this particular album.  


For a truly terrifying experience, crank this baby up to 45 RPM. . .
The magic of 'holy shit, there are actual singing chipmunks on this Christmas record' that my two young daughters experienced when I put this on the turntable this evening has long since faded away.  Instead, Adult Brian starts thinking about three weird-looking guys, standing around in some '60s-era recording booth, singing these ridiculous vocal tracks that would eventually be sped up to a ridiculous speed in order to get that signature 'chipmunk' sound.

I'm not gonna lie, guys:  it's a bit weird.  

The second you peek behind the curtain of The Chipmunks, they instantly lose all credibility and, consequently, listening to this album becomes a trial in patience.  You do nothing but wonder what these three singers sounded like in real life, what kind of a paycheck they got for singing these songs fifty-odd years ago, and how fast the tapes were sped up in order to get this 'chipmunk' sound.  


They got this on 8-Track?  Why don't I own this?!

Yes, while my two girls dance around the living room to these festive little rodents, Yours Truly just frowns at the back liner notes of this album, tearing up a little as the veil of Childhood Innocence falls away from his eyes.

Thanks a lot, Alvin.

Alvin?


ALVIN!!!


VERDICT:  6/10 - Decent  (A nostalgic Holiday album that sadly doesn't hold up as well as some of its brothers, but - despite its low score - will remain in circulation this season 'cause my kids love it.)


- REMAINS IN CIRCULATION -

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