The Houghs: Santa's Hypin' Skypin' Christmas (feat. the Houghs)

Merry Christmas!

(Kris and I really ate these)

As I stared, wide-awake, at the alarm clock at 5am this morning, I had to mentally remind myself that I was a grown-ass man, and not some footed-pajama-wearing child, anxiously awaiting the piles of present underneath the family Christmas Tree.

As we all know, Brian Hough is 32. And he no longer sleeps in footed pajamas (though if they made cool ones, I'd probably think about it).

The stage, set.

Regardless, I haven't been able to sleep well the Night Before Christmas as long as I can remember - I've always been too excited about the prospect of running into the living room and assaulting the presents under the tree like some drunken Mongol. So I was forced to quasi-sleep (where you wake up and check the alarm clock every five minutes) until about 5:50am, when I finally said 'screw it' and jumped in the shower.

My goal was to have the tree and all the lights on, with the video cameras rolling, for when the girls woke up. This was truly the first Christmas where the whole 'Santa's coming to our house and bringing presents' thing was really hitting home with the girls, so we wanted to make sure we, as parents, didn't totally blow it.

Mission accomplished:

Upon discovering that Santa had NOT forgotten our house (because that was the number one fear from the night before), Alayna made a beeline straight for her new Disney Princess 12-inch we got for her (well, technically Santa got it for her). . .

. . .Abby's first reaction upon waking up, however, was to walk past the living room completely, ignoring the presents entirely, and ask for apple juice. As it turned out, she was pretty sick with whatever the hell it was that Kris had over the weekend. . .

It doesn't matter what it is. . . if it has Disney Princesses on it, it's a sure-fire win with this kid.

I'm sure our kid gets just as excited over school/craft supplies as other folks' kids do over toys. Middle School is going to be hell on earth for this kid. . .

I decided to get a fire going. Had to wake up early to chop firewood, but hell. . . my roommates are worth it.

Saber-shaped tie-clip. For the distinguished professional.

Abby's gut had her couch-ridden for the majority of the early morning gift-opening. . .

. . . so for every four or five presents Alayna opened, Abby probably opened one (which would become an issue towards the end of the day, when Abby had a stack of presents to open and Alayna had crap).

Remember ViewMasters? We decided to get the girls a couple of those this year. Believe it or not, you actually end up paying more for the reels than you do the viewers themselves. . .

(Kris was a big fan of them, too)

Daddy is SLOW.

On Christmas, kids can more or less do whatever they want. Like ride their bikes indoors. Screw it.

Modeling a size-too-small throwback

Abby's main gift from us this year was some creepy-ass doll that speaks, snores, laughs, drinks from a bottle, etc. etc., plus all the accessories for it. Abby decided to name it 'Baby Commonia.' . . .Who knows.

Family Skypin' Christmas, Round I: the Hough Family. Papa and Nana called us via Skype around 7:45am, kicking off our 12-Hour Cyber Christmas.

Showing off new presents

How to 'Nog in style. . .

We had to keep Abby hydrated throughout the gift-opening gauntlet - she ended up shitting her pants four times by the time it was 10am. Diarrhea rules.

Dunkin Donuts. Kris' home away from home.

Stocking stuffers

Throughout the many Christmases, Alayna and Abby probably netted 24 tubes of chap stick, lip gloss, etc. It'll all be gone within the week.

My favorite show since I was 9. The day the stop making the Simpsons is the day you find me with a shotgun in my mouth.

The girls received a lot of books for their Tag Readers this year (we're really pushing the whole read-before-you-reach-kindergarten thing around here.)

Christmas at the Houghs

You need a PhD in robotics to work this thing. . . but Goddamn is it ever pretty.

Bling (and yes, that's a Charlie Batch jersey. Shut up.)

"PRINCESSES!!!!"

"KEEEESH!!!"

Hough Family Christmas Breakfast of Champions, est. 2000.

After our Skype session with my parents, the Cannonball and I took a break from the computer so we could try out her new wheels about the neighborhood. . .