Well, we're all going to die.
Honestly, I figured the End of the World would happen at dawn - it seems poetic and more illustrious that way, right? The human race - as well as the chipmunk race, the hammerhead shark race, and pine tree race, and all other living races out there - would rise in the morning one last time before having their collective asses handed to them by some warped interpretation of a pre-Columbian, Mesoamerican calendar.Wackier things have happened, people.
Having traveled to several Mayan ruins sites personally, I can assure you that they - the Apocalypto people - were pretty 'with it' when it came to building. The Mayans definitely knew their stuff. They also knew how to gaze at the sky without looking like total idiots: they could predict eclipses, measure time rather accurately, and even conjure up far-reaching cataclysmic events that scare the bejesus out of us in the present.
Such as this whole End of the World nonsense. I'm not about to get all worked up about this ol' song-and-dance number again - we've gone through this before. (remember?) You know, to tell you the truth, I didn't even want to dignify today's impending doom with a response. . . but as it's 4:30pm in the afternoon, and the world is still here (consequently, after I would've otherwise put in a full day of work - well played, Mayans), I feel compelled to inform all of the people out there that bought into this hooplah that they are idiots.
Seriously.
You know, I'd love to run into someone who actually believes the End of the World is happening at some point in time today. Holy shit, that'd be great. I'd have a whole list of questions for them, the foremost centering on whether or not can I have everything in their wallet. Maybe their car, too. I mean, hell - there really isn't any point in owning a car when asteroids are raining down like hail stones and the dead walk the earth.
Right?
Speaking of which, was there an official list of 'bad shit' scheduled for the End of the World? I assume something astrologically-significant would play out for those doomsday enthusiasts. God knows the Mayans were big fans of 'space.' Giant meteor, alien invasion, something along those lines. And if it were aliens, what are the chances they'd show up a day or two early and have to hover around our orbit and kill time in order to make their grand Dec. 21st entrance?
I mean, I assume aliens have their shit together, and would be scientifically advanced enough to not show up a day early (or late). That'd sure make the Mayans look stupid, wouldn't it. . .
 |
| If I had to die by alien invasion, I'd prefer Death by Star Destroyer. |
To top it all off, Santa Claus even showed up. Yes, not even the End of the World could keep away the fat man in the red suit. He fears nothing.
Nothing but fog.
So, in closing, here's a few pictures from the End of the World. . . which may or may not resemble the footage from 2012, the prophetic film illustrating how the Mayans predicted the Dec. 21st end of the world as we know it.
. . . or not.
Enjoy.
 |
| Abby shows off her Christmas 2010 photo album to the rest of her class during the Christmas party. . . |
 |
| Chow time |
 |
| Moments later, Santa would show up to her classroom, sparking off a frenzy of tantrums and shit-fits. . . |
 |
| Meanwhile, in Alayna's class. . . |
 |
| Santa's entrance was met with a much warmer reception in the pre-school class. . . |
 |
| Captivated audience |
 |
| (Santa's asks Kris nicely to stop farting) |
 |
| Here's to the End of the World. . . |
 |
| After we got back to the house, and saw that this giant, hunk of rock we call 'Earth' was still in one piece, I let the girls 'play' the PS2 in our bedroom ('play', of course, means arbitrarily mashing buttons on the controller) |
 |
| They're pretty big fans of SSX Tricky 2. . . some snowboarding game Kris used to be into back in college. . . |
 |
| . . . as you can imagine, they were quite painful to watch. It's going to be awhile before we introduce the Mario and Zelda titles, methinks. |
- Brian
No comments:
Post a Comment