SPRING BREAK!!! *flashes cans*

Hey fans,

So this week I've been on Spring Break, which was scheduled a little earlier this year than usual (generally we have it in early April). And, like the last few spring breaks I've had since becoming a somewhat responsible member of society, so far this year I have yet to remove any article of clothing for beads.

Still have a few days left, though.

Haven't done much around the house these last few days, save for random yard work and some 'side-project' catch-up. It's nice having the time off to be able to catch up on things around the house - my workload at school has been daunting, as we're entering crunch time before the kids tackle the dreaded FCAT (our annual standardized test down here). So having a week off to release all the steam before throwing them into the fire is awesome.

And, while I don't have to put up with other peoples' kids for a week, I still have to put up with my own. So I've got that going for me.

Of course, Alayna somehow managed to lock Abby in her bedroom (from the inside), so we had to have our neighbor across the street, Randy, swing by and pop out the lock in order to free our hysterical infant. After that joyfest, I switched around the doorknob so that the lock faced the outside, which a.) prevents either of the kids from accidentally locking themselves in the room again, as well as b.) allows us to lock either of them in their room whenever the mood strikes.

That's called 'good parenting.'

In closing, I'd also hazard to mention that lately I've begun battling my brothers online via MarioKart Wii. Now, I'm not one for bragging or anything, but I would not be lying to you in referring myself as 'King of Kart.' I'm pretty good at this game, and am rarely bested in racing. The last couple times we've raced online, however, I haven't been doing as well. It was bugging the crap out of me for awhile there, but now I think I've figured it out.

Split screens.

Oh yes, I said it.

I was consecutively beating my little brother Jeff early on in one of our tournaments. His wife, Annie, was also racing with us, and, since they were both racing on the same console, they were viewing a two-player split-screen. I was beating them easily, as I had the full screen of my TV at my disposal - I wasn't sharing it with a second player. Afterward, though, Annie retired for the evening, and my wife, Mrs. Nags-a-plenty, hopped on. Now I was the one racing with a split screen, and Jeff had a full-screen view in front of him. Consequently, he was handing me my ass time and time again.


...not that any of you people out there care about any of this dork-talk, but I'm using this opportunity to clear my name and MarioKart reputation right here, right now. That's why I was racing like an asshole those two nights, brothers. Be forewarned.

In closing, here's some more videos to enjoy. Slainté.

- King of Kart

St. Patrick's Day (Observed)

Another year, another St. Patrick's Day spent in the sunny, coastal city of Melbourne.


Yes, the Houghs once again passed the Irish holiday season away from our hometown of Clare, MI... but, as the years pass by, the less and less I find myself missing the whole Clare scene. It's really the people you're around that make the holiday awesome anyway (my family, the ol' high school gang, the infamous 1214 brigands, etc.). Besides, a lot of the 'regulars' one almost always bumps into unwillingly at the Doherty Hotel - the epicenter of all Irish activity in Clare - are people you'd rather not associate with in the first place.

I find with each passing St. Pat's I spend in Clare, I end up engaging myself in more and more small talk with such people. Frankly, I'd rather be drinking.

So this year, like I said before, we spent our St. Pat's in Melbourne, which is a solid alternative. It's thirty degrees warmer, for starters, and it's laid out better so that it never feels as crowded.

Besides, the Melbourne Irish parade had four sets of Pipe and Drum bands - from what I've gathered from my Michigan counterparts, this year Clare didn't have one.

Anyway, like last year, we rolled into Melbourne with the Voigts, and spent about five hours checking out the parade and the big blowout behind Meg O'Malley's (the Doherty of Melbourne). There wasn't a bounce house area for kids this year, which was weird; we were counting on it, as they've had one the previous two years.

This year, the Meg O'Malley's crew seems to have opted to fill that vacant space with additional beer vendors instead (not that I'm complaining). For five bucks, you could have a 20 oz of Guiness, Smithwick's, Harp, or 'Green Beer' (also known as 'Coors Lite with Green Food Coloring'). So, while the kids didn't really have much to do, at least Adam and I had something with which to keep us busy. Rock and roll.

So, without further hooplah, here's a crapload of pictures and videos from the Houghs' St. Patrick's Day Extravaganza 2011. Slainté.

- Brian

Grandma's St. Patrick's Day care package. Sadly no whiskey enclosed for yours truly...

...so I ended up buying more of the usual for myself. Huzzah.

Suited up for Shenanigans

Creepy-ass building in Melbourne, where we set up shop for the parade

Awaiting the parade

Abby's 1st Irish Fest

The Voigts and the Cannonball

Beads!

Local men in skirts asserting their right to cross dress

Who the hell wears a Hawaiian shirt to an Irish festival?!

Local man, dressed up as what I can only assume is Santa Claus. Or Gandalf.

Meg O'Malley's: Melbourne's answer to the Doherty

The lot behind Meg O'Malleys - the bounce houses this year being replaced with additional beer tents and booze wagons...

Inflatable, 20 ft. tall Leprechaun? That's just the sort of thing one should have their picture taken in front of...

...and again...

...and again.

Having our picture taken with this random guy has turned into an annual, St. Pat's tradition down here in Melbourne...

...and yes, he always has free hats.

Fin.

Backyard Renovations, Vol. I

Having survived last week's garage sale, it was time for the Houghs to move into Phase II of our diabolical plan: the acquisition of additional crap that we probably didn't need but were going to purchase anyway.

The whole purpose of having a garage sale - besides getting rid of a bunch of junk that was cluttering up my garage - was so that we'd have some funding to purchase some stuff for the backyard. It was decided on some months ago that, with this garage sale money, we'd purchase a swimming pool for the backyard. We opted to buy one of those Intex Easy Set pools, and went with a 12' x 36" size, as it'd be ideal for the kids and enough so that Kris and I can sit in it and take a break from the horrible, horrible summer heat we get down here.

So we picked up the pool from Toys 'R Us, and I began buying some of the accessories for it - the solar cover, an inflation pump, etc. - off Amazon ('cause its way cheaper than buying it in a store around here). I still need to get a maintenance kit, a tarp or the ground cover, some additional filter pump filters, and a ladder, but that stuff's all relatively cheap so we're going to grab it later.

We can't set the pool up until Adam has a chance to come over and help me install a circuit splitter (or whatever the hell its called) in our patio light so that I can have a power outlet in the backyard. I want to run an electrical cord down one of the patio rafters in order to plug the pool filter in, as our house has an added-on room that was never part of the original floor plan when all the electrical work was done.

Good times.

Anyway, besides the pool program being implemented with great fervor, we also picked up a new Little Tikes picnic table/umbrella set-up for the girls. That was a long time coming as well. They needed an outdoor chill area in the backyard, so that thing will definitely come in handy come summer time.


We then purchased one of those large, outdoor, storage bin/treasure chest-looking things from Target. Ideally, this is where pool toys, extra pool filters, and other such pool-related hooplah will end up... though I honestly wouldn't be surprised if fruit snacks or half-eaten sandwiches end up in there, either.


So, in order to make room for all this new crap, Yours Truly had to do some yard work. I ran to Home Depot and bought a dozen of those border paver stones (whatever the hell those are called). I dug up some of the existing pavers and relined a trench around the outside of the patio, placing those border stones in so that weeds and the yard wouldn't creep back onto the pavers (which had been the case all last summer - our backyard has a mind of its own).

So with an additional ten or so square feet along the back porch, I moved all the cacti and plants off the main back patio and into a separated area away from curious fingers and mouths.


In closing, here's some more footage from around the house. Enjoy.

- Brian

Random Crap Holocaust 2011

I have a humongous headache, folks. Here's why.

We had ourselves the garage sale this morning. And it was absolute chaos. We wanted to start the day off at 8am, so I went around the neighborhood in a mile radius or so, putting up directional 'Garage Sale!' signs and balloons and crap like that. By the time I got home, it was pushing 7am, so I figured I'd have at least an hour to set up the driveway before people started swarming our house.

I was wrong.

Folks began showing up at 7:15am! I hadn't even pulled anything out from the garage onto the driveway and they were digging through our wares. It was ridiculous. Evidently people in Central Florida don't know how to read. Or tell time.

Anyway, overall we had ourselves a pretty good run. We sold all of our big ticket items (items ranging in the $25 - $100 range), which was awesome, which the not-so-surprising exception of three of the four swords I was selling (I don't think God wants me to sell these swords, as I apparently must wield them in the upcoming apocalypse that will surely unfold once gas hits $4 a gallon this summer). We actually probably sold about 70% of the stuff we put out, and although people had to haggle on every, last item that we were selling, we ended up netting $337.60 by 1pm when we called it a day.


Booya!

The only downside to the entire day was the occasional haggle fest we'd get from these Haitian ladies that would constantly want to give you about 10 - 20% of what you were asking. They were after the baby clothes like rabid wolves, and would grab up piles of clothes - which, at Kris' pretty reasonable pricing, would cost about $100 - and want them all for $20.

That happened several times throughout the course of the morning. The first time it happened, Kris gave a woman probably $30 worth of stuff for free without even realizing it. A lady made off with a ton of brand new baby dresses, shoes, towels, etc. in her jumbled pile of clothes.

After that, Kris was on the warpath whenever those types of 'shoppers' showed up, and we didn't get taken by anyone again.

...I mean, seriously. Who the hell haggles 50 cent prices at a garage sale?!

- Brian

Skeletor Saves the Day!

Hi gang,

Now, I don't talk a lot about politics unless there's beer on hand and I'm around like-minded individuals. Nothing polarizes the masses and spurs men to anger so much as a good ol' fashioned political 'discussion,' so I try to steer clear of the subject whenever possible. Plus, I sound like an idiot whenever I've had a few beers and try to do so.


But this needs to be talked about. Even briefly.


For far too long, 'public servants' - you know, those shady ne'er-do-wells working for the state, county, what-have-you - have been living the dream in their posh mansions up and down Easy Street. You know the type. Firefighters, police officers, county clerks, you name it. Most notably among their lot, of course, are those fat cat teachers. Those lazy, fair-weather, holiday/summer-off babysitting, riff-raff. Collecting their ballooning paychecks and their hefty benefits packages from Joe and Jane Taxpayer.

I, alas, am just such a fat cat.

And, as you all know rather well by now, I make a ton of money. A shit ton of it. I'm rolling in greenbacks, my friends, and its unfair to all of you hard-working Americans out there. Why? Because I do little more than babysit nine months a year. I earned a Master's Degree (with money I didn't have!) in order to further said babysitting career, and have separated myself - by 1300 miles, mind you - from my family in order to best dupe the unsuspecting taxpayers.

Why? 'Cause that's what we teachers do. We're big league 'a-holes.' We waste tax money, we smoke cigarettes in the classroom, we teach kids evolution, and we don't do our jobs.

Fortunately, one man - nay, one patriot - called us out for our inability to service the common good. One man realized that public teachers in the state of Florida were making far more than those employed in the private sector, and were reaping unparalleled benefits and pensions at the public's expense. One man saw that, in order to cut billions and billions from the state's operating budget, he had to first cut the throat of the problem. The throat of we fat cat teachers.

That man, dear readers, is Skeletor...


A rare man, indeed. An all-American hero! Skeletor (commonly referred to as 'Rick Scott' in the political section of your local, Florida newspaper), backed by the heroic*, well-read, real American, freedom-fighters in the Tea Party, rallied the great political geniuses of the Sunshine State legislature together and introduced a bill that would put an end to teacher tenure and free-for-all pensions.


Hooray for SB-736!


His plan would hold teachers accountable for student performance. Charles 'Mega-Tan Crist didn't have the stones to see it done, but - by thunder - Rick Scott can. Yes, FINALLY those high-earning teachers will have to put their money where their mouth is!

Those teachers will have to spur those high-poverty, low-achieving, Title I, at-risk, English-as-a-Second-Language, Learning Disabled students into achieving what the general public - the taxpayers! - knows they can. I mean seriously: how hard can it be to have a 12 year old, Spanish speaking child with ADHD, a crack-smoking foster parent, and a fourth-grade reading level write an 8th grade essay on democracy?! C'mon people - it's a no-brainer!

I, for one, think this line in the sand is long overdue. It's about time someone held we lazy, overpaid, educators accountable for all that time we're wasting in the classroom. And I personally think that Skeletor is just patriotic enough to sacrifice anything and everything to see more money go into the pockets of everyday taxpayers. After all, there's NO plausible reason why lower-middle class Floridians would elect a man who was out to put his own, corrupt special interests ahead of theirs.

Why, that's tom-foolery!

Folks, Skeletor is out to serve the people, and I think he's had nothing but the public's best interest in mind since day one. THAT's why he was elected. I mean, why else would they vote for him if that weren't the case, right?

Anyway, I think it's time that we line up behind ol' Gov. Scott and tie all these teachers - myself included - out to the ol' tree out back and put us out of our misery. We had a decent run.



In other news, I'm pursuing a career at Burger King. I figured I have valuable people skills, and I enjoy wearing a visor when the occasion calls for it.

Stay tuned.

- Brian

* er, 'patriotic.'

'Spring Cleaning,' or 'The Process in Which the Houghs Determined Which Items Around Their House Would Look Nicer in Someone Else's Household'

We've been spending a lot of our free time digging through crap lately.

And not the crap that fills either of our kids' pants, either (though we've been doing our fair share of that, too).

No, readers, I'm talking about the crap that is destined to wind up in our upcoming garage sale slated for March 12th. It's a huge ordeal, but we've got a ton of crap that needs to be offloaded as soon as possible in order to make room for more crap that we don't need.

A huge - if not the biggest - part of this whole garage sale preparations thing has been sorting, pricing, and categorizing baby clothes. We have a hell of a lot of baby clothes, much more than I think either of us thought possible. Our kids didn't even wear half of them. We received so many name-brand, high-end clothes from the parents who brought their kids into Kristina's class while she was at Primrose - some of them brand new - that our kids maybe more an outfit once or twice before they grew out of it and it went into storage. So the condition of these piles upon piles of baby clothes, in general, is 'like new.'


We're hoping that brings in the masses on March 12th.


There's a never ending supply of clothes in our house - things the Cannonball hasn't grown into yet, or else has grown out of and Abby can't wear yet - and we're hoping that we sell all of it so that we can make room for the eventual additional piles of kid clothes that we'll have to buy in the future.

'Cause that's how having kids works, folks: the turnover rate for clothes, toys, and gear is ridiculous. They outgrow things quickly, so you're constantly having to get rid of piles of crap, only to turn around and have to purchase more piles of crap for them. The cycle never ends (until their 18, I suppose, when you can throw them out of your house).


Anyway, besides kid clothes, toys, and gear, we're dumping a ton of other random crap.

I'm trying to sell a few swords (we'll see how that goes), a bunch of random kitchen and household items, piles of old knick-knacks and collectibles, old luggage and handbags, maternity clothes, office supplies, electronics, and a ton of other nonsense that has been sitting in the garage just waiting to escape our house.

Prepping for this garage sale has been a constant chore, but hopefully the pay-off will be well worth the effort we've been putting into it. Cross they fingers.

- Brian