Country Clubbin'

Welcome back, kids.

So my buddy Mitch is a golf pro, as you all know, and used to be the resident pro at Midland's local Country Club. He also happens to be a Cancer Survivor, having beat colon cancer, like, a decade or so ago (before I knew him.) Now, Midland hosts an annual Spring Soiree that raises money to fight cancer by giving funds to people undergoing procedures, transportation to hospitals downstate that specialize in cancer treatments, and whatever else it is that ends up costing so much damn money in order to beat cancer.

Erik bought a fossil like this last time around.

While he was employed at the Country Club, Mitch got onto the local board that oversees this giant fundraising effort, and they began to hold an annual soiree every spring (fourteen years ago, to be exact) at said Country Club. This has always been super important to Mitch, putting this thing on ('cause, you know, the dude had literal cancer), so whenever the event comes around, he puts aside some tickets for interested couples in the Tribe. This is noteworthy because this is a pretty exclusive event, and not open to just anyone.

This year, the Houghs, Johnsons, Colliers, and Alicia were able to show up for the Spring Soiree, which included the usual three-course meal, open bar, silent auction, and dancing. Things kicked off at 6pm and lasted until 11pm, and we more or less shut the place down (like we did two years ago.)

All in all, a great night for a great cause. I'll just let the following pics tell the tale.

Enjoy. . . 

They had a small fence set up in front of a photo op background outside the banquet hall, and as folks rolled in they wrote their name on a lock and attached it to the fence (like you see in a lot of European cities.)

Each lock represented a $250 donation, so for those of us who donated $125 (Mitch gave us free tickets but we all donated anyway) were doubled up onto one lock.

Before it got dark out, and before things got too busy and chaotic, we decided to nab some couple pics on the balcony overlooking the golf course.

Kris went with a 'Spring-y' dress this year (which ended up being a wise move on her part, because that was definitely the theme this year.)

The Johnsons

While folks entered the club house and mingled with drinks and hors d'oeuvres, most amassed in the outdoor passageway where all the Silent Auction items were on full display. They had some app that you could use to keep track of your bidding, which Kris downloaded (there was a pair of season tickets to the Midland Center for the Arts that she was eyeing, but ended up being outbid on it) but I didn't see anything I liked.

It quickly became overly-crowded out in the hallway, so the staff began corralling people into the banquet hall and to their respective tables. The meal was kicked off with a salad and creme brulee.

I waited to dig into this until after I had finished my meal, and then only ate a little of it. Waaaaay too sweet for my taste.

Kris, Danielle, Mees and Courtney.

Food was slow coming out, so Kris and I went back into the hallway where a roaming photographer was taking pics of people with this portable ring-light/SLR rig he had going on. You entered your phone number and he texted the picture right to you. Kind of a cool opportunity, our group definitely took advantage of this throughout the evening (as you'll see throughout this post.)

Mitch stands up to be recognized by the Midland Cancer Services Foundation, as the speeches - and meal - finally kick off.

Post-salad, pre-meal bourbon time.

We were sat at Table 23. Not only was this my high school number (on the ski team), but it was also Morgan's (on the swim team.) Fun fact.

Dinner is served. I grabbed a glass of Cabernet Sauvignon to go with the steak, as I am nothing if not classy.

Nobody enjoyed this steak. There was no fat on it and it was cooked too long, almost rubbery in texture but super tender. That white thing is chicken wrapped around some kinda ham thingy. The orange sauce was pretty good, but that yellow stuff off to the left was grits. Not bad, but didn't really go with the rest of the meal. I would not have ordered this plate again, for sure, but I'm not one to turn down free food, folks.

After the meal, Kris and the girls got some pics done with that aforementioned photographer.

Our first attempt at a group pic. Collier was shooting a wedding that evening, but was planning on swinging by afterwards (probably around 9:30/10pm), so Mees and Alicia went with each other as dates instead (Alicia's husband, Steven, had a work thing going on or something.)

Couple pic in front of the 'official' photo op background.

The Larsons

The Johnsons

The sun was setting so we made sure to get a Wives pic out on the balcony before it got too dark out.

Pretty cool looking course. Not that I golf or anything.

The King of the Hill, Inner Circle (minus Collier.)

Morgan ran into an old coworker while we were out there getting pics and ended up talking to her for like 45 minutes or some shit.

Mees and Alicia

Makers Mark was the bourbon they were offering up at the open bar (free booze is always appreciated), but Mitch put in a good word with the guy who oversees the booze at the Country Club (who he knows from his time working there) and requested a round of Eagle Rare for us dudes. At about $70 a bottle, it's not all that expensive for a bourbon, but it's hard to find up here and really, really good. The guy comped it so we got it for free, which was bad ass.

As folks were wrapping up with the meal, the live auction began. Mitch was in charge of helping identify bidders around his part of the hall for the auctioneer. The amount of money thrown around during this auction was staggering. $11k for a one-night getaway at some resort, $8k for a catered fancy dinner for 10, etc. That's CEO money, guys - not teacher money, that's for damn sure.

People watch the silent auction bidding as the end time creeps up.

Ran into the Pickvits (however you spell that) this evening - they're invited to all the Collier functions. Some drunk guy at their table, during the meal, ended up choking on his steak and the clubhouse staff had to seal off the hall while the guy - who had stumbled into the hallway while choking and collapsed - received CPR. He had stopped breathing and there was no pulse, and a couple doctors that happened to be in attendance actually broke a bunch of bones in his chest resuscitating him. A couple hours later, long after the ambulance and paramedics showed up, we got word that the guy was alive. Definitely a first for this kind of evening.

Following the live and silent auctions, the dance floor was opened up and the music cranked up. Some of the wives got out there for a little bit, but nowhere near as much dancing as two years ago.

Alicia, Kris, and some filters.

Collier showed up around 9:30pm, driving in straight from his wedding. He was a little worried about his attire, seeing how he was only in business casual - and he got a couple sideways glances from some of the stuffier boomers in attendance - but nobody confronted him about it.

The O.G.'s

Towards the end of the night, we were finally able to get a full group pic in front of the backdrop, Collier and all.

Another one of the Wives.

The dance floor ramps up. Lot of drunks out there.

The photographer guy ventured into the banquet hall with his ring light to get some 'action' shots at one point, and the wives wanted a 'strip' of pics (like you'd see in a photo booth.) And of course me and some of the dads decided to crash their picture.

The place shut down at 11pm, and unlike two years ago - where we stopped off at Frick's for a few rounds before heading home - everyone called it a night. Some of the womenfolk were heading down for a weekend in Florida the next morning (Stephanie's mom has a timeshare and car down there so literally all they're paying for is a plane ticket), and we had Alayna's first Prom to prepare for. So there you go, gang - another fun time of revelry for a worthy cause. See ya next time.

- Brian

Jellystone '21, Pt. II

 (contd.)

The next morning, Kim and Matt set up a coffee bar outside their RV (theirs formed the 'northern wall' to our Shanty Town, while the Griffin's formed the southern one.)  This was a very, very popular breakfast destination, I can assure you. 

Enjoying morning coffees around the extinguished fire pit.

The DeBoers were on breakfast duty, and BP made a few crockpots of his popular breakfast casserole - sausage, egg, hash browns, cheese, etc.  Throw in a bit of hot sauce and you were good to go.

Later on in the morning, once everyone was awake, fed, and showered, the wives all went down to the pool with the kids and the dads stayed back at Gray Island to enjoy some Bloody Marys and some cornhole.

Ryan and Morgan

Ella, Abby, and the Larson kids, Sophie and Jackson

Ryan hanging out with the Butterfields, his friends from college.

Who brought a football?

The kids practically lived in the pool this weekend.  Unsurprisingly.

The Cannonball and her friend, Lexi.  Note the phones.  They mostly hung out in their tent on those damn things all weekend (I let them use my new Coleman Sundome I had purchased before camping with my high school crew, back in May.)

Moms by the pool.

The Three Amigas: Ella, Abby, and Sophie.

With the womenfolk and offspring all down by the pool (still), some of us dads settled into a game of euchre.

Erik found this miniature horse - some quarter machine prize from the arcade, most likely - lying on the ground somewhere, and immediately deemed it his good luck charm.  You can imagine his chagrin, therefore, when his wife let one of the kids keep it later on in the weekend.

Ryan and Matt took some of their kids around on one of these things while we were playing cards.

You've probably noticed, by now, that many of the guys - and wives - are wearing matching shirts.  At the group's request, I designed shirts for us to wear this weekend - gray shirts, because we were camping at Gray Island (not sure if I said this before or not, but Jellystone is divided up into multiple 'islands,' surrounded by roads on all sides so cars and RVs can navigate the campground.)  Erik helped me with the idea for the shirt, we both wanted a retro-looking 'map'-style design, like you'd see in the '60s or something.  The names on the shirt correspond with our rough camping positions - some folks tented, some stayed in RVs, and other stayed in cabins (like the DeBoers did last year.)

Erik, Omkar, BP, and Morgan.

Lonnie Big Balls

The Indian Assassin

After awhile, I gave up cards and hung out by myself around the fire pit and screwed around on a uke.  I always bring a ukulele with me on these sorts of adventures.

Meanwhile, back at the pool. . .

Around lunchtime, folks returned to Gray Island for sustenance.

Kris, Danielle, Courtney, and Mees in matching Gray Island shirts.

Abby, Ella, and Sophie show off some new ink, courtesy of the arcade.

Oh look, more cornhole. . .

A couple of 8th graders, hanging out at the arcade.

Some adults hanging out by the camp store/arcade, waiting for their children.

Left to Right: Kris, Kim, Courtney, Sam, Mees, and Melanie.

With most of the wives and kids out and about, the dads decided to break into some cigars.  I brought my personal humidor - converted from a gun case and practically indestructible - to accommodate.

Matt and Erik

This is what good fathering looks like, America.

We had this picture taken so we could send it to Brad, who supplies us with cigars periodically - and free of charge - throughout the year.

We knew we wanted a group picture at some point with everyone in their matching shirts, but there were lots of kids and moms missing in action.  So, we decided to at least get a few of the dads in one (minus Matt, who was at work at this time.)

Smoke 'em if you've got 'em.

The Bastard Bastard Harbor Mastah and The Embryonic Crusadah, ca 2021.

(Ryan had my SLR and was playing around with it.)

The Big Johnson

Moms playing some card game called 31.  It's kinda like betting, but everyone puts in a dollar.  Soooo. . . not really high stakes or anything.

Still in the pool.

Kim and Kris

Stephanie is considerably gangster.

Some afternoon cornhole.

One of the afternoon kid activities, put on by the campground, involved kids putting dry spaghetti noodles in other folks' hair.  The moms were quickly enlisted to assist.

While this weirdness was going on, I got to try this random offering from Bell's that I picked up earlier in the summer.  It was pretty badass for a hot, summer day.

I'm glad she doesn't rock this look regularly.

Courtney and her hair designers.

Waiting in line for dinner.  I got severely annoyed with this line, and may have grumbled somewhat.  I'll do that.

Chow time for dads.

For whatever reason, the kids decided to hold court in Erik's trailer while they wrapped up their dinner.

Once all the moms were back at the campsite, I was able to wrangle them all together for a group picture with their shirts (like the dads had managed some time before.)

Aaaaaand a sassy one.  I asked Kris later if they had planned on having the tallest people in the middle and then scaling it down in height as you reached the ends, but she insisted it was coincidental.

After the moms had gotten their picture in, someone suggested we all head up to the giant Yogi Bear statue outside the campground store/headquarters for a mega group picture.  So, Yours Truly grabbed his SLR and a tripod and the Gray Island mustered out.  We were able to get this one of the kids easily enough.

Ryan - a professional wedding photographer - helped get everyone into position while I adjusted the settings on my camera.

As we got into position for our group pic, a young clerk from the camp store rushed out and asked if she could snap one for the campground's Instagram page.  We were happy to oblige.

Here's the one from my camera - same as our Instagram one, just nicer quality and better framed.

I had my camera set on 10-shot bursts, so the one you just saw previously took a ridiculous amount of work to capture - we took several sets, and what you saw there was the best one.  After I was satisfied with our group pic, the crowd began to disperse and folks started wandering off.  A couple families hung back to get pictures with the giant Yogi statue, though - the first of which were the Griffins.

The Jacksons

The DeBoers

The Muthaf***in' Houghs

The Johnsons

The Nadgaudas

The Colliers

We're viral, right?

Upon returning to the Gray Island, some of the dads decided to put together our annual Cornhole Tournament.  Otherwise known as, Who Wants to Lose to the Larsons?

This wasn't much of a tournament, honestly - single elimination, folks weren't really feeling it this year.

I honestly don't even remember who won, to tell you the truth - definitely was not Kris and I (we did couples again this year, and I was not throwing well at all - Kris carried the team, which, if you know how bad she is at cornhole, is really saying something.)

Everyone crashed early this evening, too - like, by 10:30pm, I'd wager.  Folks were pretty exhausted from the previous night, and a day filled of shenanigans.

So, in closing, here's a tour of the shanty town that is Gray Island '21. . .

- Brian