The Suite Life of KOTH and RHOM

What's up, sports fans.

So my buddy Erik recently bid on and won a Loons Suite at one of those local charity thingamabobs he's always going to, and the private box could accommodate 24 people with ease. That basically equates to six families of four (which even out when a family like the Colliers has three kids, but the Johnsons only have one, etc.), so they invited us, the Larsons, the Colliers, the Boses, and the Griffins. Now, we've hung out and had a lot of fun in these private boxes/suites/whatever before, so while no Hough could be considered anything remotely close to a baseball fan, we do enjoy walking around Dow Diamond, having a few drinks, and bumping into fellow Midlanders that we know. We were all in.

After getting out of work, I got home, freshened up a smidge, and Kris and I took off for the stadium (driving separately from our girls, who showed up a little later. . . you know, 'cause they weren't finished getting ready or some crap.) We didn't watch a whole lotta baseball this evening (I couldn't even tell you who they were playing, and honestly didn't care anyway), but we had a hell of a time kicking off another season of baseball with the Tribe.

Check it out. . .

Kris and I pulled into Dow Diamond's complimentary parking (courtesy of the suite reservations) at the same time as the Larsons and Johnsons, around 5:30pm-ish. 

We had to show our printed tickets a second time to gain access to the stadium's second floor, which has all the private rooms and suites, along with private restrooms, food counters, and even a bar (which three three of us dads took advantage on the way to the suite.)

Us other five families decided to split a fully-catered barbecue dinner that fed twenty-five people, as a thank you to the Johnsons for dropping the money on the suite. The people had begun to set up the spread shortly after we arrived.  

There was a mini-fridge full of pops and waters, too (the Collier and Bos kids, unsurprisingly, killed most of the pop off shortly after arriving.)

Ella and Sophie, braving the frigid temperatures out in the stands (it was a high of 50 degrees this evening, and would eventually dip down to the mid-30s, so needless to say we were all incredibly grateful for the private suite and its heat.)

Erik buys a bunch of those raffle tickets that he buys at every game we go to (to date, he's never won, buuuuuut as the saying goes - you can't win unless you play.)

A couple different varieties of pork, along with some mac and cheese. There was also some coleslaw and some other stuff, but none of my family ate much of anything (we rarely do.)

As is the case with any time one reserves one of these private suites, Louie the Loon popped in to meet the evening's tenants. We asked if we could get a pic of him with all the kids first.

Then we finagled one with the adults. Afterwards, Louie silently beckoned for me to follow him out into the hallway, which was more than a little terrifying, but it turns out that the guy inside the suit was one of my former students from like five years ago, and he's not allowed to break character around children. So I got to catch up with him (and his handler, whom I also recognized from my school from back in the day, but she was on another team) out in the hallway for a few minutes.

A lil' father-and-son action, watching baseball.

My roommates. Alayna and Abby had showed up about 30-45 minutes after we did.

Some weird selfie I found off Alayna's phone while going through her pics from this evening. Abby is clearly in the middle of yelling at her right here.

Speaking with my aforementioned former student while he was on break (and out of costume - he said that thing can get like 110 degrees on the inside during the summer months, which would absolutely suck.)

Kris endulges in a Cherry Pepsi in order to get some caffeine in her system.

You could watch the game on a TV in the room as well, which was a little easier if you had to just to stand around the table due to lack of seating.

These were the only seats in the room that faced out over the field from the comfort of inside the box, so for most of the night the dads stood around the table and watched the TV on the wall.

These three, going in for seconds.

The dads were ready for a lap around the Diamond (something we do all the time at these Loons games), so started to bundle up in order to brave the frigid temps.

When we were preparing to head out, the catering folks wheeled in a dessert cart and asked if we wanted to order anything. Erik and I had already walked out into the hallway, so Kris filled me in on all of this later.

Everyone was gonna pay for treats for their kids (and the wives) themselves, I guess, but Kelli must have just offered to grab everything because she didn't realize how much everything was (or that was included in the previously-catered, barbecue thing we all split earlier, I'm not sure what happened.)

Long story short, all the kids ordered desserts (and some of the wives did, too), and the Boses covered it. Which, you know, Mitch was super thrilled about.

Meanwhile, back outside, we grabbed ourselves some walk-around beers and set off on our cold lap around the baseball diamond.

While we were paused to check something out, the wives snapped a few pics of us from up in the stands outside our private box.

The Big Five

Baseball also happened this evening, as you can see here.

Making our way around the rape-y area of the perimeter, behind the large wall in the outfield.

Coming back into the stadium from the opposite side of the diamond, tour walk concluded.

The OG offspring: Ella, Abby, Cannonball, Sophie and Jackson.

(Kris got one, too.)

(Not sure what's happening here.)

Back inside the suite, the wives were all hunkered down where it was warm.

They wanted a group pic at one point, and had Audrey do the honors.

Bunch of old skanks.

A couple moments later, Erik was able to get a pic of the Jumbotron (or whatever it's called) when it panned up to the wives all standing around and dancing.

Back inside the suite, keeping warm and watching baseball on the TV (like God intended.)

Got a couples pic out on ledge while the light was still decent.

. . . as well as one with the girls.

Trying to make it up onto the Jumbotron again. . .

A group pic of the Fab Five (sans children.)

When the stadium took the time to welcome all the visiting groups this evening, Erik made sure to submit our group's official name (The Kings of the Hill, feat. Their Wives would've been more accurate, but still. . .)

The kids took off before the end of the game, and we weren't far behind them (the Loons were getting the shit kicked out of them and the stadium stops selling booze in the 7th or 8th inning, something like that), so we all headed home while the game was still going. The plan was to after-party over at the Colliers' place, so after Kris and I got home, I texted Erik to see if folks were over there yet, and he responded with this pic.

While we were hanging out with the adults over at the Colliers', Alayna and the rest of the OG Kids went up to Taco Bell to hang out for a bit.

Some folks engaged in a game of Euchre, but I wasn't quite up for cards this evening (I'm down with that from time to time, sure, but cards isn't my favorite thing in the world.)

Some asshole snapped a pic of me in my Readers, whittling down and touching up the pics that I just shared with you here. Productive as always.

- Brian

Superbowl LX: Two Teams No One Cares About

Hey sports fans.

If you're anything like me, you couldn't have cared less about this Superbowl. With the Detroit Lions fizzling out, like, halfway through the season, no one in this family was at all invested in who ended up in this bloated, over-hyped football game. Not that we're huge sports fans around there anyway, except for maybe Abby, who has recently gotten into hockey over the course of the last year or so.

No, the game itself wasn't anything we were looking forward to this evening, but our local group of friends gets into sports a great deal, so - like we've done the last several years (as you can see if you peruse the Archives section off to the right of this post) we turned the invite into a giant party. Ten families, tons of food, and a full-blown Squares Board (drawn up by Yours Truly) so folks could gamble and make the game somewhat more interesting.

In the end, even the game board couldn't make the game exciting to watch - it was probably the most boring game of Sportsball I've ever watched (and that's saying something.) That being said, it was a good time getting together with friends and gourging on awesome food. I'm always in the mood for that scene.

So here's this year's Superbowl shindig, this time around hosted by Steven and Alicia over at their house.

Enjoy. . .

Lon-Dog helps himself to the available spread.

Some of Danielle's pre-made, fried tacos and the legendary Griggin Guac.

Random sides (including that jalapeno cheese stuff Kris only makes for parties, and not for our regular consumption at home (because if she did we'd both weight over 200 lbs.)

Somebody's chicken skewers (I didn't ask who made them, but they were good.)

Mitch modified his usual bacon-wrapped jalapenos in favor for something lighter, while still maintaining the same taste. Still good, but a little messier to eat.

I brought along one of the limited edition stouts Kris put in my stocking this year (one of those 'limit one per customer' deals, and honestly she was lucky to score one in the first place.) It was beyond awesome, one of the best beers I've ever had.

Goose Island isn't one of my favorite breweries, but this bourbon barrel stout leaned hard into the bourbon taste. . . which is maybe why it was so damn good.

The Larsons (and other folks) settle in for four or five hours of spectacle.

The pre-game shenanigans kick off. . .

They set up an auxiliary TV in the kitchen so folks never risked missing a single minute of the game (which, while unnecessary, was considerate.)

Hosts in the kitchen.

Steven set up various trash and can receptacles in his laundry room. Dude had a system.

Green Day headlined the pre-game opening show. Not as political as I hoped for, but enough to ruffle some feathers, I'm sure.

The Real Housewives of Midland, left to right: Stephanie, Kris, Alicia, Lori, Mees, Danielle, Courtney, and Kelli.

Getting closer to the start of the actual game itself.

My kids were slow to arrive, as they had to wait for each other to finish getting ready ('cause every social outing might as well be the frickin' prom these days. . .)

Checking out some of Cory's side hustle betting - neither Kris or I had cash on us when we showed up, so we didn't participate, but wanted to check it out anyway (Kris took this 'cause I didn't have my reading glasses on hand in order to read the small print of the scoreboards, so she lent me hers.)

The game begins. . .

Kris grilling Abby about. . . something.

Lonnie and Collier take a break from the big screen in order to squeeze in some QT with some smaller screens.

Ella borrows Abby's phone to take a quick selfie with her dad.

The wives, not really watching football.

Abby's boyfriend, Logan, was along for the ride tonight.

(Kris took lots of pics of the kids throughout the evening.)

Constant grazing in the kitchen.

Bardens and Holtys.

Ella's not sure about her significant other.

Not sure who made these, but they were pretty awesome, too.

I had been sitting on the couch for the first half of the game, but felt isolated on that side of the room, so I moved to a more centralized location.

Bad Bunny, the polarizing minority none of our right-leaning friends were brave enough to vocalize displeasure with in public, performing during the Halftime Show.

Holty's dog attempts to make a new friend.

Lonnie checks on the board to see who's favored to win the next quarter.

Like I said earlier, this game was super boring - the only thing keeping it remotely interesting was the chance of somebody winning $150 at the end of each quarter.

At some point in time in the evening, this dog decided to start picking a fight with Mitch and I. . . who knows why.

Giving Mitch the business. 

I wasn't having it, though - I don't take shit from dogs smaller than mine.

Ella, keeping it classy.

Anyway, that's this year's Super Bowl post. Another solid party with a solid group of regulars. And I was smart enough this year to take the next day off of work (I scheduled a dentist appointment for the day after so I had a valid excuse - this ain't my first rodeo.)

- Brian