Tech (retard)Ed

As you may recall, I've been recently given the job of teaching students 'technology.'

If that sounds vague, that's because it is.  Mucho.

Technically, I'm now teaching something called 'Fundamentals of Design: AV and Print'. . . or something like that.  I've renamed it 'Media Productions and Design,' as we're primarily shooting the Student Announcements and showing students how to plan, film, and edit their own videos.  Since this is the first year this course has been offered at my school, it's fallen onto my shoulders to create the curriculum for the class. . . which, as you can imagine, has been unsettling at times.

One of the requirements for the course was for Yours Truly to become certified in Technology Education for grades 6 - 12.  Currently, I'm certified to teach Middle Grades Social Sciences (Grades 5 - 9) and Middle Grades Integrated Curriculum (Grades 5 - 9). . . the latter more or less meaning I can also teach Language Arts, Reading, Science, and - seriously - Math.  Now, back when I had to take the tests for the two aforementioned certification exams, they cost about $75 a pop.  Pretty ridiculous, right?  I mean, it's not like the State of Florida's Department of Education were going to refund my money if I hadn't passed the damn things.

Well, now those stupid tests run you about $200.  That's just for taking the test, too - it costs an additional $75 to have the certification placed on your professional teaching license.

Seriously, folks - it's a racket.

Anyway, I took my Technology Education exam this morning at one of those fancy-pants Pearson Testing Centers, which was much closer for me than driving all the way out to UCF like I'd done years ago for all those stupid tests I had to take in order to become a teacher down here.  The testing center was over by Sea World, so I got over there in about fifteen minutes.  I had anticipated it taking about a half-hour, and wanted to show up early just in case I had to fill out paperwork, but in the end I had to sit and wait in my car for about a half hour before my testing window opened.

. . . which gave me ample time to play the Simpsons Tapped Out game (or, as I like to call it, Smartphone Heroin) on my phone.

Now, they give you about two and half hours to take one of these certification tests.  I always felt this was stupid, seeing how I always finished my exams within an hour of sitting down (even for the Math segments on my Integrated Curriculum test.)

Fun Fact:  My students don't know what cassettes are. . .

Not the case this time, though.  This Technology Education test, without a doubt, was the hardest exam I've ever had the displeasure of taking.

Holy shit.

I was expecting the test to be somewhat difficult, sure - that's why I had been actively studying for it for two months.  I felt pretty comfortable with myself going into this thing, honestly.  Aside from multimedia and editing software via computers, I'm really not 'down' with technology.  Electrical engineering?  Not a big fan of it.  Biochemistry, thermodynamics, agricultural, construction?  Nope.  Drafting, genetic engineering, robotics, physics, nanotechnology, aerospace?  Never been into it.

?

Out of 245 questions on the exam, there were nine - NINE - that somewhat dealt with teaching or computers, or teaching students about computers.  The other 231 - wouldn't you know it - were from the same random categories above.  Which, as you can ascertain by my earlier witticisms, was not something I was well-prepared for.

Holy shit.

Stuff I'll never need to know in life. . .

I don't plan on ever assembling my own robot, designing a fighter jet, planting multiples fields of crops, or adding on an addition to my house with my bare frickin' hands any time soon.  Nor would I ever assume to be able to teach someone else how to do that.  I know what wires look like, I know what a hammer does, and I've watched Star Wars a time or two.  That's about the extent of my technological expertise, at least according to the State of Florida.

?

I used every, last minute of my allotted testing time.  Jumping back and forth between questions, narrowing down answer choices, skipping over questions I didn't know (all 231 of them!), and eventually guesstimating on a sound majority of 'em.  When the time was called, I was sure that I had just pissed away $200.

I didn't know what to tell my wife or my principal, who were both hoping I passed this stupid test (Kris for financial reasons, my boss for out-of-field certification reasons), so it was a heavy heart that I exited the testing room and approached the Golden Girls at the front desk for my results. . .

Then they gave me this:

BAM

How the hell I managed to pull this off, I'll never know.  It's a huge weight off my shoulders, though - for sure.

This is exactly how I felt walking out of that Godforsaken testing center. . . 

Now I get to drop $75 to add the sum'bitch onto my professional license, just so the State of Florida can sleep easy at night. . . knowing that I'm teaching my students all about irrigating soy beans, programming CAD software, building suspension bridges, and installing electrical circuits in a hydroelectric plant. . .

Holy shit.

- Brian

Mr. Hough's Fantabulous Array of Classrooms and Contractual Obligations

I inherited a new room in the Media Center. . . 

Hi kids.

It's 'Back to School' season and everything, and if you know any teachers out there, I'm sure they're keeping you pretty up to date with their 'setting up my classroom' reports.  God knows I used to do that. . . back when I had one, single, solitary classroom to prep before the onslaught of students.

That was before I ascended into full-blown multi-tasking juggernaut mode and inherited three classrooms to rule over.

Home away from home. . . 

Yes, readers, Yours Truly owns three classrooms.  Or, as I like to call it, an Educational Fiefdom.

Not sure if I mentioned this before or not, but I inherited our school's Student Announcements last spring, and when our new principal came in this summer, he made it known that the course would soon be a full-fledged STEM program.  This meant, of course, that I had to become certified in Technology Education (more to come on that later).

Now, as you may or may not recall, I'm somewhat a 'big fan' of Ancient History.  I find the subject ridiculously under-appreciated.  Considering my passion for the subject, the new administration decided to split my workload this upcoming school year between Advanced/Honors-level Ancient History and my new course, which is called Media Productions and Design.

Alayna finds some treasure in my room

Double planning, yes, but I'm looking forward to the chaos.  I've been teaching Social Studies for nigh on seven years now, so the small change may just be a breath of fresh air.  Who knows.

Anyway, the real reason for this post was so that I could show off my fancy new digs.

Check it out:

I generally head back to work the first week of August - about a week before other teachers start to come back, and two weeks before we're officially supposed to start back.  This allows me more time to set up my room and start lesson planning without feeling rushed.

Before I could move all my crap into my new room (the other teacher hadn't moved out yet), I had to temporarily store it in my Studio. . .

The lighting rig. . .

The 'Control Room' (the door to the left leads into the A/V Room, the doors at right out into the Media Center)

. . . I have a lot of crap.

The A/V Room - that big, black tower of outdated crap in the center is being removed - eventually I want to set up a series of tables and computers and turn this room into an editing room (and no, that's not peanut butter smeared onto the wall in the background - someone ripped down a whiteboard and left the glue)

I have a few tripods.

The A/V Room, opposite angle (you can see the Media Center through those windows)

Looking back towards the Studio

Sixteen unused and unopened 23" LCD Monitors and their wall mounts.  Nobody's using them, so guess who gets them?  Booya.

The Cannonball came along with me one day while I was setting up my room to help out watch Alvin and the Chipmunks via my SMART Board.

My Ancient History Classroom (opposite the Media Center from the Studio and A/V Room)

Mr. Hough's Command Center.  I snagged the desk hutch from a teacher who didn't want it over the summer, which was an awesome find 'cause there are only two or three on campus.

You can't really see it, but I hooked up an LCD Monitor to a CPU (on the floor.) I also inherited a black mini-fridge (next to the CPU, behind the chair), which is AWESOME to have.

The door to the left leads into my closet. The random blue lines on the white board are what we in the educational field refer to as a 'board configuration.'  It is meant to please administrators.

That window behind my podium is an emergency exit - me and the guys at work use it frequently whenever we want to exit out of the Media Center without running into annoying teachers.

Student Computer Center.  Coming soon: the computers.  NOTE: The poster at top right is a Demotivational poster - I'm not that lame as to have a real one of those.

Student Resources and a Nintendo.  The usual.

Eventually this will be where I post grades, as well as my Student Data Wall

I use the ELMO Projector whenever I want to draw something for the class to check out.  I run the laptop and the SMART Board run through it, so it makes the whole technology-in-the-classroom thing a breeze.

I rigged my projector on a rolling cart underneath a table, and adjusted the keystone setting so it doesn't project all skewed.  This way it's not sitting in front of the room, blocking students' view.  I was pretty impressed with myself.

My Closet

This isn't my classroom library - these are the spill-overs from my Home Library (each shelf is at least two or three rows of books deep.)  I can't store these at home without Kris killing me.

Tea Station.

View from the closet door

Professional Development.

- Brian