Abby Turns Five

Alright, so yesterday was officially Abby's 5th Birthday. . . but we didn't really celebrate it.

Not that we're jerks or crappy parents or anything (though that might be contendable in a few areas) - nay, readers, we didn't celebrate Abby's birthday yesterday because she was firing out of both ends.

Seriously.

Abby caught some kind of uber-flu on Monday - who knows how or from where, but sources indicate she had kissed some boy in her classroom on the mouth, so I'm assuming she contracted a nasty bout of cooties.

Ew,

Anyway, she got sick Monday afternoon, so Kris had to leave work early.  She also had to take off Tuesday and Wednesday (thank God she had a pool of sick days left to burn through.)  Things were looking up on Thursday, so Kris took the girls back to school and the day passed by pretty uneventful - Abby even got to take in some cupcakes Kris made and celebrate her birthday with her class (see pics below.)  In fact, it had passed by so uneventful that we decided to go out to eat for Abby's birthday Thursday evening before doing the whole cake/Skyping/presents thing with grandparents.

Let's see what happens. . .

The Gossip Table

No idea

Snack time (we let Abby take the crown into school, to wear while her class sings her 'Happy Birthday,' but it looks like she just wore the damn thing all day.)

Alayna stopped by after she got out of school to celebrate her sister's birthday (she attends an after-school program in the room through that glass door above.)

I'm so sick of that dog pose. . .

The blonde kid on the end (who's British, believe it or not) was apparently Abby's "boyfriend" for awhile.  That probably means they shared plastic dinosaurs or something. 

Once I got out of work, I met up with Kris and the girls at Applebee's to celebrate Abby's birthday.  Trouble started shortly after ordering the kids' food, though - Kris had to take Abby to the bathroom two or three times (related to both ends, take your pick), and by the time we got around to ordering our food, Abby was complaining of her stomach.

Shortly after getting her order, Abby asked to go home.

The Cannonball and I would stay behind at the restaurant and finish our meals, while Kris took Abby back to the house.

The silver lining to all of this terribleness is the two-for-one drinks.  Restaurant drama be damned - nothing two pints can't handle.

Kris waited until she got her food before boxing it all up and taking it back to the house.

Hanging out, enjoying the elbow room.

Our waitress (can I still call them 'waitress'?) must have felt bad for us, because she gave Alayna a free sundae, which was really cool of her (don't worry - I tipped her extremely well.)

While Alayna and I finished our meals, Kris allowed Abby to open up a couple of her presents (namely, the ones from Dad and Cindy). . .

She'd been asking for this Elsa doll for over a month, after seeing it in a local K-Mart down in Kissimmee, so we suggested Dad and Cindy pick that up for her. . .

Without a doubt, the most popular gift of the day.

(I can see this doll turning into one, giant slimy mess after a few months of use.)

When the Cannonball and I got back to the house, we got Mom on Skype and let Abby open up her present from Mom and John

Couple books. . .

. . . and a bike.  We let Mom and John buy it and store it up in Midland, since we figured it'd be one more thing to pack and move.  Alas, it was kinda hard for Abby to comprehend that she got a bike for her birthday, even with Mom showing it to her via Skype.

This is what the bike really looks like - we found it at a Toys R Us down here a week or two ago, and they happened to carry it up in Mom's neck of the woods as well.  Abby actually picked it out, which we were totally cool with as we didn't want to go overboard with a mere 16" bike (she'll be out-growing it after a year or two anyway,) 

We bought her a helmet to match.  Ridiculously tacky and pink, of course (which always goes over well - when all else fails, smother it in pink and throw on the jewels.)

Another figure for their Disney Infinity system. . .

More playsets of figures (this one featuring the Sleeping Beauty characters - Aurora, Maleficent, Phillip, etc.) 

Showing Papa John some of her plunder

Unfortunately for Abby, she wouldn't be blowing out her candles on her actual birthday, as she was too sick and in no mood to do so.  Instead, we waited until the following day, when she felt a little better (though not until after I had to leave work early in order to come home and take care of her so Kris could go into work.)  Abby wanted a Winter (Dolphin Tale, remember?) cake, and we found a cake pan of Amazon for the shape.  When Kris asked her which frosting pattern she wanted - smooth or textured, like you see here, Abby wanted it textured.  So there you have it - a furry dolphin with a prosthetic tail.

Happy Day-After-Your-Birthday, Abby.

Hope she's not wishing for more Flu. . .

When asked what part of her dolphin cake she wanted, Abby requested Winter's prosthetic tail.  Of course.

. . . and knowing Alayna's crass sense of humor, she quite fittingly requested Winter's head.

SUGAR

Daddy's Coffee.  Makes everything better.

Happy Bizarro Birthday, Abby - hopefully your 6th Birthday goes a little smoother. . .

- Brian

Pumpkins, Parents and Princesses: Part IV

Ready for a crap load of Disney pictures?

You bet you are.

Behold: the Houghs lay siege to the Magic Kingdom. . .

Kris and I swung by Dad and Cindy's hotel early in the morning in order to round up the girls and load everyone up in our Tactical Family Transport Vehicle.  

In order to squeeze in as much as humanly possible before the girls'  11:30am appointment at the Bippity Boppity Boutique make-over, we wanted to get to the entrance of the Magic Kingdom by Rope Drop.

Highway to the Danger Zone.

Getting ready to board the ol' Monorail.

Pumped.

The monorails were running abnormally slow this morning - we stood around and waited for nearly fifteen minutes before we finally set off for the park.

We have to keep the monorail system in mind next time we want to entertain our children on the cheap - they were big fans of this.

Since we are so close to Halloween, Disney's already decked out their theme parks in full-on fall regalia. . .

The Rope Drop 'pre-game' show.  Basically a bunch of underpaid park employees dancing around a trolley in weird costumes. 

Strolling down Main Street (or, as I like to call it, Bottleneck Alley.)

The Houghs

With Papa and Nana

Cannonball and Castle

Pretty, yes.  Built to withstand a proper siege?  I have my doubts.

Strolling (get it?) into Disney's new Fantasyland expansion.

In line for Winnie the Pooh (formerly something way, way better.)  Abby freaked out throughout the duration of this ride, reaffirming her status as the Hough Family Coward.

Tea Cups (or, Barf Buckets.)

En route to Dumbo's Flying Circus. . .

I really, really wanted to get a picture of Cindy with the Evil Stepmother from Cinderella, but the lady wasn't having it. . .

. . .this is about as good as I got.

Half-naked sixteen-year-old.  'Nothing inappropriate going on here,' says Disney.

The Little Mermaid is straight-up crack for little girls.

Into the Circus. . .

Waiting in line. . . something we found ourselves doing more and more of ever since Disney changed their FastPass system to better accommodate their resort guests.  Basically it's a two-class system - the VIP preferred resort guests, and all us plebeians.  F*** you very much, Disney World.

Dumbo'd.

Next stop:  The Little Mermaid

Ariel's Castle

This ride was a lot like Nemo's Under the Sea Adventure at Epcot - you basically go along a track inside a large clamshell, and relive all the famous scenes from the movie.  Nothing groundbreaking, but if you're a little girl under the age of 7, this is about as cool as life gets.  Unless it started raining ponies.

(Don't worry - they kept their clothes on.)

Beast's Castle, in the distance - we'd be heading over that way later on for lunch. . .

Another new attraction we wanted to check out with the girls was Enchanted Tales with Belle - where a chick in a Belle costume interacts with smaller audiences in a close-setting.  Unfortunately, while we were waiting in line, Alayna began to get very, very sick. . .

While Dad, Cindy, Abby and I held our place in the slow-moving line (the size of the audience was very small, so accordingly the line moved at a snail's pace), Kris went to take Alayna to the restroom and get her hands on some Tylenol. . .

Fortunately, Kris and Alayna made it back to the front of the line just as we were about to go in.  We doped up the Cannonball and entered the attraction. . . where a talking dresser and some old guy assigned parts in a play to random kids in the gathered audience (fortunately our children were not selected.)

Some local Floridian Belle and a Candlestick (I forget his name) spin yarns with a bunch of kids. . .

The girls snatch a photo-op with Belle after the show. . . and you can tell just by looking at her that Alayna is having a BLAST!

Bookmarks.  'Cause Belle likes to read.  AND 'cause Disney's cheap and they figured 'screw it - it's paper, but it has a princess on it, ergo kids will love the shit out of it.'  Well played, Disney - well played.

We scoped out a little of the new Fantasyland expansion while the kids went to the restroom - as with other sections of the parks, there's a lot of attention to detail.

Sadly, I didn't get to hang out at this tavern. . . though, being the Magic Kingdom and everything, I doubt they served beer there regardless.

Alayna was pretty much comatose following Belle's thing, but Abby was still revved up, so I volunteered to push Alayna - who had by now fallen asleep in the stroller - around for awhile so that Dad, Cindy, and Kris could take Abby on It's a Small World - arguably the worst ride in human existence.

Welcome to Hell, folks!

In real life, this thing would eat the shit out of you.

When you're 3, everything is frickin' AMAZING. . . including horribly racist animatronics.

Dad and Abby outside Rapunzel's tower, a la Tangled.

Still passed out.

The Tangled addition to the Magic Kingdom is more or less a couple restrooms and a gift shop.  Nice job, guys.

With Alayna still out, but the day wearing on, we decided to hit up the Carousel outside Sleeping Beauty's castle. . .

Kris!

Abby would ride these things all day if you let her.

Following the carousel, we headed into the castle, where the Bippity Boppity Boutique is located. . .

Kris primes the kids, including the Cannonball, who had recently risen from the Dead. . .

There's always time for Fruit Snacks. 

Time for pamperin'.

The Boutique was running a lit behind of schedule, so they had us take the girls in the back to get suited up in their aforementioned princess dresses (courtesy of Papa and Nana.)

This wait was excruciatingly boring, but the girls did pretty good, considering it was standing-room only and people were constantly bustling back and forth between the waiting room and the make-over room. . .

When it was finally the girls' turn to get done up, we fortunately were able to snag two seats next to each other. . .

Alayna chose the most difficult hairstyle available, while we talked Abby into a simpler one.

First time wearing make-up.  Alayna was a big fan of this whole process. . .

Hopefully this is a unicorn horn.

Alayna's beautician truly deserved a Medal of Honor after combatting her way through our kid's hair.  The whole process was painful to watch.

Thank God they had benches - this process took a long, long time.

Alayna as Aurora, the princess from Sleeping Beauty.

Time for glitter Pixie Dust!

Abby was thrilled with her make-over - her beautician was very good with her.

Abby as Merida, the princess from Brave.

A really cute picture of my kid. . . PHOTOBOMBED by some random lady who is falling to pieces over her.  Who the hell is this lady, and why is she so excited to see my daughter dressed up like a princess?

Gang signs.

This picture would've been a lot cooler had it been taken from the opposite angle, so that the castle was in the background instead of the carousel. . . but whatever.

Another round on the carousel?  Why not.

Taking the pathway away from the castle and Fantasyland towards Merida's grove.

Abby's explaining something that I'm sure is really, really important.

While waiting in line for a chance to meet Merida from Brave, the girls were able to do several kid-friendly activities.  Such as coloring. . .

. . . and shooting a bow and arrow at homeless people.

In all actuality, though, the arrows were tipped in sandbags or something, so the hobos never, ever felt pain.  Only shame.  Deep, deep shame.

Getting Merida to autograph some bitchin' coloring book pages.

This chick was actually Scottish.  Nice work, Disney.

(I think they're supposed to be shooting bows here. . .)

Back in Fantasyland, we headed over to Beast's Castle for a French lunch. . .

As always, the decor was awesome.

The rooms inside the restaurant were designed to mirror the rooms in the Beast's castle from Beauty and the Beast. 

Believe it or not, this impressive room was nothing more than an upscale cafeteria.  The windows in the background simulated snow falling, which was cool. . .

Once again, however, Alayna was too sick to enjoy herself.  She had been running a fever throughout the day, and now that the Tylenol we had given her earlier was beginning to wear off, she was beginning to feel sick again.  Sure enough, as we waited in line to order our food, Kris was forced to rush her into a bathroom so she could projectile vomit into a trash bin.  'Cause we're classy like that.

Afterwards, we attempted to shove French food down her, but she was pretty wishy-washy about the whole thing.  Surprise surprise.  My sandwich was pretty good, at any rate.

Leaving Beast's castle, we decided to meet some of the other Disney Princesses, seeing how we had already met Merida and Belle. . .

Hey kids, it's Cinderella. . . nobody's favorite princess.

Alayna was really excited to meet Aurora. . . more or less 'cause they both are apparently big fans of the color pink.

Aurora's face says it all.

Our kids were pretty much spent after meeting the princesses.  As we waited in line to pick up their Bippity Boppity Boutique pictures (which took longer than we expected, seeing how the assholes ahead of us were taking their precious time), we coincidently met the only other two Detroit Lions fans in the state of Florida.  Oddly enough, while we were standing in line complaining about their inevitable loss to Dallas,  another Lions fan walked up to us in line, and as we all pulled out our smart phones to follow the Detroit-Dallas game, Detroit came back in the last minute of the game to score a winning touchdown.  Booya!

One last shot of Dad and Cindy in front of the castle.

Leaving the Magic Kingdom after a long, magical, expensive day. . .

Checking out pictures and frames

Cheese cracker teeth.  Always classy.

Out again.

Waiting for the monorail to take us back to the Tactical Family Transport Vehicle.

We drove back to Dad and Cindy's resort, where we began the long, nerdy process of offloading pictures, swapping pictures, and organizing pictures into appropriate file folders.  Once that was done, we packed up all of our kids' crap and said farewell to Dad and Cindy, as we had to work early in the morning the next day. . .

- Brian