One Last Hurrah on the Muskegon

For real.

Hi gang.

So, it was exactly one week ago - to the day - that I had last canoed down the Muskegon River.  Since that day, Yours Truly has been busy with occupying himself with the setting up of his classroom, buying last-minute, Back to School crap for myself and the girls, and otherwise preparing mentally for the impending doom of September 4th and Work.

Loading up at the Marion campground to shuttle over to the launching point.

My old high school buddy, Sean, had been trying to get a bunch of the old high school crew together for a canoeing adventure sometime in August, and while he was in the planning phase of everything, I expressed my interest in going.  Eventually, he settled on today, and, coincidentally chose the Muskegon River as the venue.  At the last second, the McNerney clan backed out, as did a couple others, so in the end it was only Sean and I, his girlfriend and daughter, his sister and her husband, and their four kids.

Unlike the last time I went canoeing on the Muskegon, this wasn't going to be some two-hour in-and-out.  No, with Sean planning it, it was destined to be a grand adventure of epic proportions.  FOUR HOURS of canoeing, with multiple hour-long stops for swimming and hanging out. 

We were on the river for seven hours, all the while thunderstorms threatened to drown us in a fury and I fought off an excruciating headache for the last two hours of it. 

But it was still a hell of a lot of fun.

Check it out. . .

Passing under the first bridge on the river, filled with graffiti from the '70s and '80s, by the looks of things.

A bit dreary out, we were expecting rain and brought ponchos and rain jackets, just in case.

I ended up in the back of a canoe with Sean's girlfriend, Sara.

Sean and his daughter, Grace.

Like I had seen in the Muskegon River last week (remember?), there were a heck of a lot of trees falling into the river.  I assume because the water level is low and the exposed tree roots lose their grip or something after drying out.  I don't know, I have no idea how trees work.

We ran into a large group of rowdy drunks along this dune cliff thing, fortunately the river was wide enough so they couldn't splash us. . . which is, like, the universal thing drunk people do when they stop canoeing and see other folks pass by.

Making a pit stop.

We decided to pull our canoes over to the small beach, at center.  We had been on the river for about an hour at this point and some folks wanted to take a break and swim for a bit.

This ended up being our longest stop of the trip - we were here for over an hour.

Sean, keeping it classy as always.

Back on the river. . .

We beamed my Classic Rock playlist off my phone to Sean's Bluetooth Speaker, once his phone died, which worked really well for the remainder of the trip

Pulling alongside for a snack break.

We came across quite a few patches of super thick fog throughout the afternoon, like this.

 

More fog.

About three hours in, the sun came out.  The forecast had been something ridiculous like 80% thunderstorms, but we hadn't seen a single drop of rain up to this point.  The sun was welcome, indeed.

Taking another break to stop and let kids roll down a sandy hill.

Trouble brewing. . .

Sean supervises the rope swing.

 

After another half-hour of canoeing, we stopped for a bathroom break at this little tributary stream. . .

After about four and half hours on the river, folks began to get tired of canoeing.  Sara was spent, so I ended up canoeing us the rest of the way.  My head was POUNDING at this point, too, and the skies continued to grow darker and darker.  We were all running out of gas.

 

This dude has a ridiculous amount of street signs in his backyard.  How has no one reported him yet?  Hundreds and thousands of people must canoe past his house every summer. . .

At long last, we finally arrived back at the campground.  After stowing our canoes with the camp people, I said my goodbyes and set off back for Midland.  It was only on my drive back home that it started to rain, we had been incredibly fortunate this afternoon.  Still, next time we all decide to do a High School group canoe outing, I'm going to seriously lobby for a shortened amount of time.

- Brian

Party Like It's 1899

Welcome back, folks.

Summer is quickly riding off into the sunset, but the Houghs aren't quite ready to lie down and die just yet.  With less than two weeks left before the Beginning of School, time is running out for last-minute, Hail-Mary shenanigans, so we've been pulling out all the stops to keep the Time Off season going as long as possible.

Enjoyed this one here at Rita's folks' before heading back to the cabin.

Smitty and Rita - are annual Camping and New Year's Eve partners - suggested we take a weekend towards the end of summer to go canoeing up in Evart, on the Muskegon River.  If that sounds familiar, it's because way back in 2015, about a month after the Houghs made their triumphant return to Michigan, the Sausage Pad reunited on that exact same river.

That was in tubes, but still. . . same river.

Rita's parents live in Evart, way out in the country, and own quite a bit of secluded land.  Far off, across a field behind their house, they even have a two-story hunting cabin built back in the woods, and it was here that Rita suggested we stay for the weekend.  The cabin had plenty of beds and furniture, and even had a small amount of running water (enough to flush a toilet a few dozen times, about.)  No electricity, but it had 'Amish lighting,' which is basically a series of gas lamps connected by pipes that run throughout the house, and you light them like you'd light a gas stove.

A little rustic, for sure, but a welcome break from our usual, Back-to-School routine of school supplies shopping, lesson planning, and otherwise watching summer die a slow and agonizing death.

So, here you are - another Hough/Smitty adventure into the wilds of Michigan. . .

Rita and her dad led us, in Kris' van, back to the cabin from her parents' house, and once there her dad showed us around the place.  It was way nicer than we were expecting -rustic, for sure, but much bigger and cleaner, and well-lit.  There were two bedrooms upstairs, the first being a loft at the top of these stairs shown here, that overlooked the downstairs, containing two twins beds (for the girls) and a double bed (for Kris and I.)  The second bedroom was separated from the main loft by a door, and had a full queen-size bed in there, along with a private balcony (that we were warned not to use, 'cause it needs some repair work.)  Because of that - and the fact that Smitty has a tendency of sleeping in - we gave that back bedroom to Rita.

This Amish lighting was pretty cool.  Rita's dad showed me how to turn it on and adjust the brightness:  turning the propane on from the main tank out behind the cabin, you then adjust the gas feed on the line itself, and strike a match.  Pretty easy stuff, really, and it really makes the cabin feel 'normal.'  It does heat up like a son of a bitch, though.

Storing our food and drinks in the coolers.  Smitty wouldn't be joining us until the following afternoon, unfortunately:  at the last minute, a day or so before we met up in Evart, he had jumped off a ladder at his work and a two-inch nail had gone through the sole of his shoe and through his foot.  While he was taking antibiotics for that, and visiting Urgent Cares, it was decided that it probably wasn't in his best interest to go frolicking in a river with an open wound.

Those fans off on the left wall there are turkey feathers (and feet.)

Upstairs on the loft (Abby's bed can be seen in the bottom-left corner.)

You can imagine how much Alayna the Animal Lover appreciated all the dead animals used for decoration in this joint. . . 

Alayna sets up her bed at the top of the stairs (the head of our bed can be seen at the bottom right corner, here.)  This setup gave me a little anxiety, because in the middle of the night it was COMPLETELY black - you couldn't see anything at all - so I was nervous a child was going to fall down the middle of the stairs in the night and kill themselves.  It got so hot at one point in the night (because of all the heat from the Amish lighting rising up to the second level of the cabin), that I got up to lie down on the couch downstairs.  The dog got up to follow me, and because it was so dark that he couldn't see, Watson fell down five or six steps.  He was fine, but still - rest assured for Night #2 I put out some night lights and didn't burn as many Amish lights in the evening.

Back to our evening, though.  We had all eaten dinner at Rita's parents house (they had grilled out for us, which was nice), so we settled in for some snacking on chips and cookies - and a craft beer or two for Yours truly - around the kitchen table.

Alayna suggested a card game, so since we didn't have TV or anything - and didn't feel like messing with a fire outside by this point in the night - we obliged.  The kids love playing this game called 'Trash' which is pretty low-skill, but takes a while to do. . .

High Stakes.

 

Settling in for the previously-discussed insanely hot and pitch-black night. . .

After surviving Night #1 (barely) it was time for a not-so-healthy breakfast.  Par for the course when camping with Rita and Smitty.

The Kitchen.  The Gas Stove worked, and I almost used it to make coffee (their coffee maker was designed to be placed over a gas stove), but we were idiots and didn't bring any coffee grounds.  I was beyond pissed.

After getting our things around for the day's big even - Canoeing on the Muskegon River - we loaded everyone up in Kris' van and drove back across the field to Rita's parents' house for a 'real' breakfast.  And a couple cups of coffee.

Kris forgot something back at the cabin, so here she is driving back down the trail (you got used to this after awhile.)  That building at the left is a greenhouse and chicken coop - Rita's parents have a pretty cool setup.

 If you look closely, you can watch Kris' van door slide open as she sets off down across the field. . .

 

By noon, we checked in at J & J's River Run - the same place we used for tubing back in 2015.  They had our canoes all ready to roll for us, so it was just a simple matter of getting the girls sized for life vests (which neither kid wanted to wear.)

Because Smitty sadly wasn't with us, I decided that Rita should be in the back of one canoe (she had a little experience canoeing), with Kris in the front.  We put Alayna in that canoe, knowing that, of the two girls, she'd be the one to lose steam first.  I then took the more demanding spot in the second canoe, and placed Abby at the bow to 'help.'  Still, we were able to cross the first bridge of the river - about a hundred yards downriver from the launch point - without any issue whatsoever.  Kris and Rita, on the other hand. . .

 Seriously.

It takes some definite skill to purposely hit a bridge support when there's so much river to use in between them. . .

The 'scary' bridges behind us, we set off down an uneventful stretch of the Muskegon. 

Another bridge.

 We saw a lot of these while out on the river.

Alayna started saying she was bored about ten minutes into the trip.  Everyone gave her the 'tough it up, buttercup' speech and let her stew for a bit.  Eventually she got over it.

Mom eats her lunch (we packed a ridiculous amount of food for this trip.)

This choice is from a local Michigan brewery, and not surprisingly makes me think of Electric Light Orchestra.

Abby handled this whole canoeing adventure insanely well, but we kinda figured she would.

Abby's water is NOT from a local Michigan brewery.

We rode alongside one another like this quite a bit, since we were in no rush on the river (we paid for a mere two-hour excursion, as we didn't think the girls could take a four or six-hour long trip.)

Eatin' chips.

 

 

There's a bit of a weight difference between Abby and I, so our canoe looked a lot like Chris Farley's dingy in Tommy Boy (though I'd like to think that I'm not that fat. . . yet.)

 

 

Going backwards downriver.  Because sometimes eight-year-olds forget which side to paddle on.

Aaaaaand now under a tree. . .

This mammal of whatever kind - muskrat, beaver, whatever - followed alongside us for a bit.  Sorry the picture quality sucks - despite the fact Kris and I had our smartphones in waterproof pockets, I had Alayna's Canon PowerShot out more, because I didn't want to drain my phone battery.  The zoom on it is worse than my phone, so these faraway shots are pretty crappy.

You get a lot of this along the Muskegon River.  The water level was about two or three feet lower than it should be, so I'm not sure if it's because the roots are suddenly exposed or what, but there was a ridiculous amount of trees fallen into the water.

 

Turtle Power.

After a mere hour-and-a-half on the river, we reached our destination.  The time estimate for our trip, like I said before, was two hours, but we didn't stop once, and actually kept up a fairly brisk pace.

 

I made sure this time, disembarking, that I didn't slip on any rocks and lose another pipe (like I did last time.)

Kinda patiently waiting while we empty out our canoes and coolers.

We had to sit on this super hot-as-f*** bus for like ten minutes while they finished stowing the canoes in the bus trailer.  Not fun.

Driving back to the Cabin.

I had realized, by Day 2, that I had neglected to take any exterior shots of the cabin the day before.  Whoops.

 

The balcony you see here isn't stable, so was unused throughout the weekend.  Those tanks off to the right are the ones I had to turn on every evening in order to light the Amish lighting.

 

Changing out of wet swimsuits and getting ready to head up to Rita's parents house again for dinner.  They were grilling out again, and Smitty would be meeting us up there within the next hour or two.

Watson stands guard.  We had left him inside the cabin by himself while we canoed, but whenever we drove up to Rita's parents' house, we took him with us (though we kept him outside, because her mom didn't want their dogs getting excited and peeing all over their living room. . . which, I guess, is something they do.)

View from the cabin porch.

This ranger was pretty fun to drive.  The first night we were there, Rita's dad had me drive him back up to the house using it, and showed me how it works.  Whenever I had to travel between the house and the cabin, you can bet your ass I took this bad boy.

The crop field separating the house and cabin.

Alayna wasn't a big fan of riding on this thing - it was loud, and felt like it would tip occasionally (though it wouldn't) while driving over uneven terrain - but Abby was up for a ride any time I got in.

Shortly before dinner, Smitty finally arrived.  Here, he's playing an impromptu game of Gaga Ball with the girls (not as much fun without the game's typical octagon-sided perimeter walls.

The girls got quite a lot of use out of this, too.  Rita's parents had it built just for their grandkids, which is something I can assure you I have absolutely no plan of doing for mine.

Rita's dad is a mushroom aficionado, and has some kind of accreditation with mushroom hunting, to the point where local distilleries and restaurants seek him out when adding mushroom flavor to their food and drinks.  This local gin distillery infuses their booze with a subtle hint of mushrooms, which you wouldn't think would be any good, but was surprisingly decent.

 Mushrooms are the alien life forms of food.

Driving back to the cabin in the ranger, Alayna chickened out half-way and opted to alight from the vehicle.  Watson ran after her, all the way from the house.

(They both got picked up by Kris in her van, a few seconds later.)

We built a campfire that night, and hung out for a few hours listening to local radio stations and playing this kid favorite, Speak Out. . . which is basically guessing what other folks are saying while they're wearing dental dams.  It's pretty hilarious.

The next morning, a heavy fog rolling in.  Smitty ended up sleeping until practically noon, since he stayed up by himself until five am or so.  The rest of us got around hours before that,  had breakfast back up at Rita's parents' house, then packed up all our things and said our goodbyes.  School's around the corner, and so the Houghs had to head back home to Civilization and ready ourselves for the impending doom.

- Brian