Another Random Girl Scout Thing I Wasn't At

No idea what's happening here.

Hey folks.

So I've gotten pretty good at skipping out on Girl Scout functions over the years.  I'm like a frickin' Black Belt at not being involved in my kids' many, many troop outings, and, to some extent, I'm kinda proud of that.  I suppose that if we had had a couple of boys instead of girls, and they were instead involved in Boy Scouts, the tables would be turned somewhat.  I still don't see myself becoming a troop leader like Kris is, though - I'm not down with the whole 'scout' thing like she is.

Anyway, Kris and Alayna set off this weekend for some random Girl Scout camping trip. . . somewhere. . . in Michigan.  I forget where exactly, I don't know.  I'd assume some place like Harrison, where there's a big-ass Scout Camp, but I could be wrong.  They were gone all weekend, though, leaving Friday evening and getting back Sunday afternoon, and spent two days and nights in a little, wood cabin.

Meanwhile, back in Midland, Abby and I were busy Halloween shopping and gorging ourselves on snacks and treats.  Like a couple of badasses.

So yeah, seeing how Kris never updates this blog anymore, and I wasn't there to know what was happening at all, I'm going to show you a selection of photos and do my damnedest to caption them as accurately as humanly possible.

It's bound to be a shit-show, folks - be forewarned. . .

I think this little kid here is getting lynched.

"Let's grab the smallest kid we can find and shove her through this tire, girls."

Success.

Here's Alayna's BFF, Maddie, climbing up a rope ladder.  Who knows why.

Later, the girls all stood around in front of a cabin and looked at two men.

Some girls put on yellow helmets.  Alayna didn't.

Rock climbing. . . or is it called 'wall climbing'?  I don't know, I don't do either.

Alayna, all ready to start climbing up a wooden wall covered in colorful, plastic thingies.

Preparing to ascend the wall.  Also, here's a bucket with what is either a rope, hose, or a long-ass snake hanging out of it.

Aaaaand there she goes. . .

I'm just gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this is probably the highest point she reached on the wall.

How is this culturally sensitive?  For shame, Girl Scouts.  For shame.

Alayna, Maddie, and some other kid I don't know, sitting around for a snack.

Slainte.

A bunch of girls on a piece of wooden something-or-other.

I guess the wooden something-or-other moves. . . huh.

What's the point of this?

Kris and Alayna, posing with dirt.  'Cause that's what people do.

Two girls and a miniature dinosaur of some kind.

People standing around outside a cabin in the woods.

An assortment of people in kayaks, on some random lake somewhere.  I doubt my kid is among them, but she could be.

The Cannonball scales the wall again.

- Brian

A Stormy 34th

Awesome swimming weather.

Hi America.

Well, ol' Ma Hough up and had herself a 34th birthday today.  Didn't really do much of anything for it, really - we're a bit too old for that nonsense.  Nay, we happened to be in Clare for the weekend visiting with our respective parents and to brush up on the girls' swimming skills while the weather still somewhat permitted.)  Marcy ended up keeping the girls for the night, after a botched attempted at swimming at Dad and Cindy's, and Kris and I enjoyed a morning 'downtown' without the nuisance of offspring.

Check it out. . .

Perhaps not the best time to go swimming. . .

We ended up dropping the girls off to Marcy's earlier than anticipated, postponing the swimming until the following day.

The next morning - Kris' birthday.  Wouldn't be a drive through Clare without seeing these weirdos about.

Tea Party with Grandma Jordan outside her place. . .

Sooo. . . is the elephant a hired musician or something?

Definitely not a smart move leaving a hot pan on a fancy tablecloth. . .

One of the more awkward, forced selfies to be found on this blog.

Shortly before Kris left her Mom's, the girls presented her with her very own birthday cake that, clearly, they decorated themselves (and hell no, we didn't eat it.)

Kris wanted to spend the morning walking around downtown (Mama gets what Mama wants on her birthday, America), and so she decided we'd start by hitting up Cops and Doughnuts downtown. . .

Long story short, the Clare Police Department stepped in and bought the old City Bakery as it prepared to go under.  Some marketing lackey put 'Cops' and 'Doughnuts' together and - voila - the local community considered it a 'genius marketing move'. . . 'cause, as we all know, cops reportedly 'like' doughnuts.  Why this bakery suddenly took off only after the bakery's image was changed to reflect the association between pastries and police officers is beyond me - I think it speaks volumes to the idiocy of the local population.  But hey - that's just me.

No, Kris didn't write what she was arrested for - her handwriting isn't that bad.

After Kris got a doughnut and coffee from the former City Bakery, we walked around the shops downtown.  As could be expected, all of the craft-ish shops were comically over-priced.

The hustle and bustle of downtown Clare.

See that old clock hanging up to the left, there?  Someone found it in storage in one of the downtown buildings somewhere, had it cleaned up, and hung it back up downtown (I guess it used to hang downtown back in the 30s or 40s, thereabouts.)

My St. Patrick's Day stomping ground. . .

You never get tired of seeing this.

The White House: an institution of fine dining.

One of Clare's more iconic building (though I forget which church this is.)  Anyway, after walking around downtown for awhile, we picked up the girls and swam for a bit before heading back to Midland.  And that's how we spent Kris' 34th birthday.

- Brian

The Cannonball's First Dance

So as you may or may not know, I happen to be the father of two girls.

Crack for little girls.

As such, I have certain duties and responsibilities that childless guys or dudes with sons simply don't.  These include, but are not limited to, struggling with ponytails, watching My Little Pony and Strawberry Shortcake (instead of something that doesn't make you want to kill yourself), being the male barbies whilst playing dolls with the kids (ours is, for whatever reason, named Steve Rotchie - don't ask), making pink scrambled eggs, and vetoing fashion choices so Protective Services doesn't come and take our children away.

All in a day's work, really.

As it turns out, another obligation for dads of daughters is the annual Father/Daughter Dance.  Which, I guess, has been around for quite some time.

Anyway, Kris was pretty excited about this, and took Alayna out dress-shopping for the big event, did her hair, the whole nine yards.  It was cute for about fifteen minutes - while we had our 'prom picture' taken, and she ran around with her friends, etc. - then it was two hours of kids running around shrieking in the dark to horrible, horrible pop music while a ring of dad's stood on taking copious amounts of pictures on their phones.

Check it out:

Dressed for the big date.

Arriving at her school. . .

Entrance to the dance.

They set up a few food tables so people could eat before the dance started.  Fortunately, I ate before so I didn't have to sustain myself on chicken fingers, 'salad', and macaroni and cheese.

Alayna tries her first Faygo (she sort of liked it, but she's not a huge fan of carbonation.)  Honestly, in the last seven years I haven't seen it down here once, as it's definitely a Michigan thing. . .

After eating, as the lights dimmed and they started playing music, Alayna wanted to check out what was going on in the school's library (mostly girls doing crafts and bored dads looking at their watches.)  Most of the girls at the dance were older (an by this I mean 7 or 8), so she didn't know any of them.

Fortunately a couple of her classmates showed up shortly thereafter and she began running around the 'dance floor' with them.  For the slower songs, the dads took a break from our photo-taking and 'danced,' which, for me, meant picking my kid up and slowly rotating in a circle. . .

With the low, inconsistent lighting, most of the still shots came out like crap, but the videos fared much better.  Below is one I spliced together to give you an overall impression of what the evening was like:

She spent the majority of the dance running around with a friend from her class, Violet.

After Violet and her dad took off, Alayna began to lose steam.  So after eating a second piece of cake in the art room, we decided to call it a night and take off. 

- Brian