Flabbergasted

hey kids.

i was going to write about this yesterday, but, after a full day of work and a full stint of ridiculous ESOL education shortly thereafter, by the time i finally made it back to my humble abode last night it was nearly 8pm. and by that time, dear readers, i didn't feel like doing anything but having a drink and going to bed.

you see, i had about four hours of sleep tuesday night. i'm sure many of you did as well. after following the primaries and general election for the last 21 months - most likely closer than most americans and those of you who read this (though i know of plenty of exceptions and like-minded souls on either side of the partisan line) - i felt like it was my solemn duty to see this crapfest through... all the way to the end. that meant staying up to watch the polls close, and staying up even later to watch the speeches. perhaps not the most impressive of feats to some, but this guy - me - has the internal clock of an old man... and gets to wake up every morning at 5am and spew learning at barbarian teenagers all day long. furthermore, like i've said before, on wednesdays i also get to attend a three hour ESOL (english as a second language) instructional method course directly after work. loads of fun wednesdays are.

(pfft.)

anyway, i'm not about to go into a political rant here, folks, so don't worry. nobody wants that. the purpose of me writing this is to vocalize a concern i'm sure a great deal of us now have at this point in time:

what the hell do we do with all of our spare time now?

some folks aren't 'news' people. they don't care that much, they find it boring, whatever. more power to 'em. me? i'm a 'news' person. can't get enough of the crap, even if it is biased, dramatized and skewed beyond all rational thought. i used to religiously check online and read the headlines at least a few dozen times a day. i'd watch political analysts and chief strategists on tv, i'd listen to experts on NPR, i'd watch the polls and track the electoral map during whatever spare moment i could get my hands on. and now that barack obama has clenched the presidency, i'm at a loss.

i have absolutely nothing to focus my attention on.

work? yeah, sure. i suppose i could focus more on work. after all, kids need teaching, kids need social studies. but honestly... who enjoys devoting their free time to work? i mean really? i love my job - don't get me wrong, here - but i don't love it that much. i suppose what little free time i have now, and that i used to devote towards tracking mud-slinging through the associated press, will soon be devoted towards grad school and homework.

i can't even begin to tell all you folks how thrilled and excited i am for that hellfest to begin.

but in all seriousness, i have no idea what to do with myself now. i need to pick up a new hobby.

flabbergasted,

- brian

Sniffles McGee and the Case of the In-Network Plus Plan, Pt. 1

i feel like crap, readers.

in fact, you know the way your crap smells when you're sick? that acidic-sulfur smell? as if it were somehow possible for your bowel movements themselves to vomit? you know what i'm talking about?

that kinda crap. that's how i feel right now.

i'm officially using my first day of sick leave tomorrow. coincidentally, this also happens to be 9/11... so i'm sure the sub holding down my room will have a blast with my students. anyway, i wouldn't have gone to work today, except that i had an ESOL overview workshop that i had to attend. that's right, kiddies - i get to take that class all over again.

remember that, folks? when i went to one way back in june, only to leave 40 minutes later when kris decided to up and have a baby on me? i could've hacked the class out in two, four-day weeks of super-compressed 6 hours days. instead, i get to prolong the misery by spreading out 60 hours of ESOL training over God knows how long... 3 hour classes each wednesday after school. i'm not a whiz with math or anything, but i think that adds up to something like 20 months.

not happy about this at all.

anyway, so i had to go to that today 'cause if i didn't then i wouldn't be able to take any additional days absent from the workshop without forfeiting my spot. and doing so, consequently, would cost me my job.

let's hope kris doesn't plan on popping out any more babies in the next three or four months.

(...if she does, i'm going to be really, really concerned.)

Kicking Off Summer Vacation... Sort Of

its been a few days, folks. i apologize.

the last two weeks i've been pretty busy with the ol' middle school scene - saying farewell to my gaggle of teenagers for the summer, closing up shop, and finalizing grades. our last day of school this year was on the 6th, and today i finished my end-of-the-year 'teacher inservice' (i.e. cleaning up my classroom and boxing up all my crap). i am now officially kicking off my summer vacation.

hooray.

this particular summer, however, most likely won't go on record for being one of the most wild and entertaining. yours truly still has some business to attend to that'll occupy most of his potential blocks for fun-time.

for starters, i have to jump through a few more hoops this summer in order to keep my job. usually, this wouldn't be as much of a pressing issue, but since the economy is in the dumps right now (especially in florida), the state decided to hack and slash the dept. of education's budgets to smithereens. that's right, smithereens. counties and districts throughout florida were forced to lay off teachers as school budgets were shrunk. dozens were let go at my school alone and not invited back next year. as a first year teacher, i was convinced i was royally screwed and among the first to be canned. somehow, though, i managed to hold on to my job (a feat i attribute to a hodge-podge combination of sheer luck and stick-to-it'iveness) and satisfy all of the state's requirements for a career changer (i.e. someone who didn't go to college for an education degree)

alas, i only accomplished the requirements needed to be completed during the first year. now i get to start on all of the crap that needs to be completed within the first three years' list, lest i get canned then (if not sooner, depending on how farther south the economy plummets). awesome.

what does aforementioned 'crap' entail? first, i get to take this ESOL (english as a second language) course, starting monday. holy borefest. i have no idea what this class is, really, but i can assure you it won't be as much fun as, say, sleeping on the couch. this class runs two weeks, running from june 16th through the 26th, monday through thursday, 8am - 2pm.

"but wait a sec, brian," you ask, "isn't kristina supposed to be popping out your yet-to-be-named daughter within the next 12 days? and, consequently, doesn't that due date fall right in the middle of this ESOL course?"

yes. yes it does.

i mentioned this to the course facilitator already, and she was nice enough to reply with the ol' "well, you definitely can't miss the birth of your daughter, brian! its a one-of-a-kind experience!" before adding, "i'm sure it won't be a problem to give you one excused absence."

again. awesome.

babies and ESOL courses aside, sometime this summer i have to start applying for grad school... finally. i've been putting it off since i returned from the peace corps. now is the time. i hated college (classes), and i hate the notion of going back to college (for more classes), but i promised myself i'd do this and, dammit, i'm going to do it. besides, when you have tens of thousands of dollars in student loans waiting to be paid off, what's a few more tens of thousands? i wasn't paying any of that off any time soon anyway. perhaps my amassed student debt can be passed down to future generations of houghs. a family heirloom of some sort. we'll see.

so, like i was saying... i can start working on my masters and finish up my teachers' certification by taking a handful of these stupid, district-required courses at the same time. two birds i'm really hoping to beat the bejesus out of a with a big, frickin' stone. this will most likely be a royal pain in my ass, but... what the hell.

in closing... here's to being unemployed for the summer. rock and roll.

- brian