Brocation 2023, Pt. I

Good evening, readers.

This has become the highlight of my summer, if not my entire year (well, aside from Christmas, our annual Halloween Party, and St. Patrick's Day, obviously): Brocation.

Over the years, our group of nine or ten dads have been christened the Kings of the Hill - a reference to the square mile grid of Midland municipally called the Chestnut Hill division (bordered by Wheeler to the North, Waldo to the West, Ashman to the South, and Swede to the East) - and, over the years, we've notched some stellar adventures into our sword hilts.

Marquette in 2020, Gaylord in 2021, and the Straits of Mackinac in 2022.

Morgan once again hooked us up with a transit van (from the Ford dealership he manages) for the long drive south into Kentucky.

This year, we decided to ratchet things up a few clicks. For the first time ever, Erik and I - the group's default expedition planners - handed over the reins to Morgan and Mitch, who are both huge bourbon guys. They had been tossing around the idea for awhile of someday undertaking the infamous Kentucky Bourbon Trail for a future Brocation, and eventually they brought the idea to the rest of us. After crunching some numbers, researching multiple distilleries and developing a finely-tuned touring schedule, the group's interest was piqued. 

Morgan picked up the van early in the morning and then swung by to grab Erik. I was next, where we mixed up Bloody Marys and organized the trunk space. Next up on the list was Collier, who took this pic of us approaching his house while he not-so-patiently waited for us in his driveway.

Loading up Collier, who as always was packing way more bags than needed. 

Like on our previous trips, we devoted the first day of the trip to travel the six or so hours down to Kentucky and establish headquarters. This was to be followed by two, full adventuring days down in the vicinity of Bardstown (a historic and centrally-located town that lay within striking distance from most of the bigger-name distilleries we'd be touring on this venture.) Finally, we would be making a brief stop-off at one, final distillery on our way back North. 

Then it was Tom, down the street (we're all in the same neighborhood.)

Yours Truly was once again charged with collecting 25 songs from each of the seven guys going and compiling into yet another epic Brocation Mix (God knows we were going to have plenty of time to listen to the playlist since we'd be doing so much driving.) This also meant that, seeing how my phone was connected to the vehicle's bluetooth, I was also on navigation duty. 

Tom's wife, Susan, collects cats like I collect vinyl. It's. . . weird.

I didn't bother taking my SLR on this year's trip because most of the noteworthy stuff we'd be checking out would be inside distilleries, and I didn't want to lug around a camera bag and mess with a flash and be that super obnoxious guy on a tour, but between the seven of us using our phones - as you'll see in the next three or four posts - we got plenty of great pics out of the trip.

And so, to quote the narrator from the epic Conan the Barbarian, "let me tell you of the days of high adventure. . ."

Next up was Mr. Bourbon himself, Mitch.

And, last on our list of travelers, came Omkar (who doesn't live in our neighborhood - him and Morgan are the two exceptions) then it was time to get on the highway south.

Ahout an hour south of Midland, going down backroads in order to cut down on road time, we started seeing these windmill things that are all over the rural spreads of the state.

My hair is getting long.

From left to right: Tom, Mitch, Yours Truly, Morgan, Erik, Ryan, and Omkar.

(And they got one from the front. . .  just to be safe.)

Are these. . . toilet paper rolls?

First gas - and restroom - stop on our drive down.

The line for the Mens Room was so long Morgan decided to take matters into his own hands. . .

Back on the drive south, Erik finagles with the van's dash system.

A couple hours later, in the early afternoon, we decided to stop off for some lunch. This place was right off the exit so we said 'screw it' and just went here.  I couldn't tell you the last time I ate at this place.

I don't eat much, and had eaten a late(ish) breakfast, so I made due with a beer.

Today just so happened to be Mitch's birthday, so - seeing how we're a bunch of assholes and everything - we made sure the restaurant made a big to-do about it.

The grumpy old man is lactose intolerant, so he had to picky with his dessert.

Back on the road, continuing on down South. . .

After a couple beers and some heavy, greasy food, a few of the guys conked right out.

Almost to Kentucky, time for another gas/restroom break.

Spotted a Masonic Lodge as we detoured through some random, small town in southern Indiana.

This road construction dude has had enough work bullshit for the day.

Ryan told me I had something in my hair as an excuse to take a slo-mo video of my luscious locks.

Ryan, Tom and Mitch

Closing in on Kentucky, getting bored in the van.

At long last. . .

Made sure I took video as well so I didn't miss the sign (they gave me some shit for missing the Indiana sign.)

(I forget which city this is.)

For Mitch.

We stopped off at the first Visitor's Center in order to hit up the bathrooms and grab some complimentary brochures.

Group selfie in front of a Kentucky sign. Check.

As we got further into the Bluegrass State, we began to hit more hills/mountains. Wish they had scenic stuff like that up in Michigan where we're at.

At long last, after six or seven hours on the road, we finally hit historic Bardstown.

The General Nelson Best Western. Our Base of Operations for the weekend.

Weary travelers.

Here.  Educate yourself.

The Check-In Process. Always tedious.

Hey look, it's the guy from the $5.

These golden horse statues out front were weird-lookin'.

Back to the van to collect our gear for our rooms.

As usual, I was sharing a room with Morgan on this year's adventure. Neither of us really snore, don't stink up a room, and are pretty tidy tenants.

This bathroom - as you can see from the pics - came equipped with a bidet, which all of us guys tried out throughout the weekend. I'm definitely a convert, it is awesome - definitely looking into purchasing an attachment for my toilet when I get back home.

Brought a scented spray for our bathroom this weekend. That's the kinda room Morgan and I like to keep.

Short-sleeve collared shirts, all weekend. And no, Morgan and I didn't plan out our wardrobes in advance.

Collier and Erik ended up rooming together once again, as did Tom and Mitch (just like last year.) Omkar snores like some kind of Balrog, so no one wanted to room with him - he stayed in his own room.

Around 7:00pm, as folks began to grow hungry again, we loaded up and drove about a mile away to check out a highly recommended restaurant in the downtown area, Scout & Scholar.

Pretty cool vibe to this place, and we didn't even have to wait for a table, being seated immediately to a large circle-booth in the front corner of the joint.

Mitch places a pin in some map on the wall in order to give a shout out to our hometown.

Huzzah.

Chicken sandwich was legit, but I should have only eaten half - kinda put me in a food coma for the rest of the night.

Coming out of the restaurant, an hour or so later, we randomly spotted this white carriage rolling past. One of those touristy dealies you see in places like Frankenmuth and Central Park. This wouldn't be the last time we'd see him over the course of the weekend, either - he'd swing by our hotel (specifically the pool area) almost every evening.  Horses and all.

Strolling downtown, making our way back towards the van.

Some pretty cool printing done on the sides of some of these old brick buildings, easily a hundred years old. As you can see here, I'm clearly a nerd for stuff like this.

When in Rome.

Quick shot down a side alley between downtown buildings.

This building was the epicenter of the town - it lay on the crossroads of the town's two major roads, and was encircled by a circle drive. No idea if it was like a municipal building, or a museum, or a visitor's center, or what.

These historical signs were everywhere. This town was on the main trail heading west from the Thirteen Colonies into the frontier in the late 1700s.

The oldest tavern west of the Appalachian Mountains is the Talbot Tavern and Inn (which we'd be hitting up in a couple nights for a dinner reservation - stay tuned.) It has the distinction of being the old bourbon bar in the world, and was visited by countless historical figures over the years on their way west. Lewis and Clark, Lincoln, Jesse James and his gang, Gen. Patton, and a score of others all stayed at this famous inn. I was chomping at the bit to get in there and check it out.

Back at the Hotel, folks felt like swimming in the pool out back, so we grabbed our bluetooth speaker and some beers and set up shop down there for a bit.

They had those changing lights in the pool. You'd think a bunch of guys in their mid-40s wouldn't be impressed by that, but you'd be wrong.

I wasn't getting in the pool, my stomach was still reeling from eating too much at dinner.

Here's a naked chick for ya.  You're welcome.

After the pool closed at 10pm, we changed venues to downstairs in front of the hotel, where they had some tables and chairs set up. And Tom snagged himself a squeaky-ass swing bench.

Ryan took a few black-and-white pics at the close of the evening, for artsy's sake.

And so ends the first day of this year's Brocation adventure down in the Bourbon Capitol of the World. Stay tuned for the next thrilling installment.

- Brian