Back to the Tropics, Day IV

 (contd.) 

Day IV

Sea World, and The Surface of the Sun

Sunrise over the lake.  Even this early in the morning, it was almost unbearable outside.  Today was going to be downright brutal.

We left the condo about the same time as the day before - you can easily do Sea World (the park we were doing today) in less than a day, so there was no need being there right when the park opens.

Huh.  I just realized 'Sea World' is actually all one word.  Sorry for f***ing that up for you guys.

Kris was excited to do the coasters at this place, but she had to convince the girls to go along with her (there was no way in hell I was about to.)

Starting the looooooong walk from the car to the park entrance.

(Those are cement walruses, foks.)

We were gonna try and get a pic of the girls in front of that lighthouse, but Alayna wasn't having it.  Maybe later.

Sorta got one with Abby.

Practically no lines to get in, which was cool.  This park is no where near as popular as it used to be.

Keeping it classy as always in her Oberon hat.

Upon entry, we decided to head left towards the back of the park in order to start hitting up some of the roller coasters before they got too busy (the coasters are definitely the big attractions here, aside from the shows.)

We were all drenched with sweat by this point.  Today was not going to be pretty at all.

Kris and Abby wanted to hit up this ride (Manta) first, but unfortunately it was down for maintenance when we got there.

So, instead, we ducked into this air-conditioned aquarium, which was right next door.

They had a bunch of floor-to-ceiling aquariums all over the place inside, and we got to see what the underside of that large leviathan (from our snorkeling time at Discovery Cove) looked like.

I don't know what the hell these are.

Kris and the Cannonball receive an education.

Lotta fish up in this joint.  I like the decor - it'd be cool to have walls of stone like this in my basement.

Abby in a fish tank.

Following our brief walk-through of the aquarium, we passed by this temple-looking water ride (that Kris and the girls would be doing shortly) and attempted to hit up the next-closest roller coaster.

Alayna wanted no part of it, but Kris was able to get Abby to go along with her.

While they waited in line under the hot sun, Alayna and I went off to look for air conditioning.  The closest place we found that had some was this merch store in 'Antarcticaland' (whatever that part of the land is called.

After pretend shopping in the store (but honestly just trying to cool off for a bit), Alayna and I headed back over to the Kraken to wait for Kris and Abby.

I can do some roller coasters, but this one was definitely above my pay grade.

Contrary to what you might otherwise think upon seeing art like this, there are, in fact, zero krakens featured on this ride.

Kris and Abby (sitting in the two left seats of their row) set off on the ride.

That's a big 'hell no' from me, folks.

Fourth row, all the way to the left.

Seem to have it under control, right?

See, this kinda stuff doesn't bug me in the slightest - I can go upside down without batting an eyelash - but those vertical drops that build up speed, I can't handle those.

Exiting the ride.  Finally.

Alayna and I had been absolutely miserable waiting for Kris and Abby to wrap up their ride, and were desperate for some air conditioning (this would be the ongoing theme throughout the day, for sure.)  We dragged Kris and Abby back over here to Antarctica ('cause, you know, snow and ice are cold.)

There was a penguin exhibit here, and so we ducked inside since the line was basically non-existent.  Who doesn't like penguins?

Waiting in the queue before entering the exhibit, watching some informational video on penguins.

Kris, the girls, and a shitload of penguins.

For whatever reason, they had all the lights off in the place.  Maybe because it was still morning or something?  I don't know how penguins work.

After we had spent some time checking out penguins, Kris and the girls got in line for that Splash Mountain-ish water ride (the one I mentioned earlier, that looked like the ruins of a temple or citadel or something.)  Not wanting to get my camera equipment wet, I was forced to forego this ride and kill time by wandering in and out of gift shops like this. . .

After ducking in to a few shops - and buying nothing - I made my way down towards the main, central lake area.

After awhile I decided to stop and grab my Florida Vacation go-to, find a spot in the shade, and whittle down the pictures on my camera card.  Long enough to cool down and let the sweat dry.

My beer gone, I made my way back to that Antarctica area of the park and the penguin exhibit.  The line to get in this place was pretty long by this point in time, and I had no intention of standing around under the sun.  I noticed a few people exiting out of a discreet exit door off to the side, and, not seeing any staff guarding it, I easily ducked in as people passed out.  Breaking the rules, certainly, but I saved myself 45 minutes of misery and was in air conditioning in no time.

The lights were on now, so my video and pictures here are a hell of a lot better.

Meanwhile, back on the ride with the girls. . .

Finally setting off after waiting in line.

I met up with Kris and the girls as they exited that water ride, and told them how I had 'hacked' the penguin exhibit and cooled off.  Kris wasn't a fan of my deceptive rule-breaking, but the girls overpowered her reluctance with their desire for air conditioning and we snuck back in to the penguin exhibit.

Following our penguin viewing, we led the girls up to the Pacific Point to heck out some friggin' seals.

These guys are a bunch of whiny primadonnas.

We didn't buy any fish, these guys were getting showered in fish from other tourists.

Not gonna lie, this is probably the most entertaining part of the park.  Seals are idiots.

This fat-ass is clearly the alpha male of the herd/pack/whatever.

Walking from Pacific Point, we decided it'd make sense to move around the central lake clockwise in order to take as much of it in as possible before calling it a day.

Along the way, we decided to stop off into the indoor shark exhibit.

We were all pretty snippy with one another, on account of it being so Goddamn hot outside, so cooling off in some A/C was Priority #1.

These underwater tunnels they move you through in this exhibit are pretty awesome.  Without fail, every time I pass through one of these I start imagining the glass shattering and everyone being drowned in salt water.  'Cause, you know, that's completely rational.

F*** sharks.

This is about as close to a smile as you're going to get when forcing your kids to pose inside a shark's mouth.

This eel straight-up looks like an animatronic, right?  Doesn't even look real.

This glass tunnel came equipped with one of those horizontal, airport escalators in order to keep people moving.

Saw Shark. . . or whatever the hell those are called.

Coming out of the Shark Encounter, we were not-at-all-pleased to find the temperature and humidity had actually increased while we were in there.  The Mako roller coaster - that Kris had initially expressed interest in riding earlier in the morning - was located right next door, but due to the heat she had no desire to stand in line to wait for it.

Continuing on our forced march around the central lake, we found ourselves in the far-back of the park, kinda back where the old Anheuser-Busch tasting pavilion and Clydesdale stables used to be.

As we crossed over a bridge to check out a nearby restaurant, we stopped to watch these lucky sons of bitches get soaked on this water ride.

Jealous, jealous girls.

(We'll be hitting up a ride like this in a few days at Animal Kingdom.)

Muuuuust be nice.  Not sure if it's worth sweating in line for over an hour, but still.

That's what that ride's called, in case you were wondering.

Kris and the girls were getting pretty hungry, and the heat and sapped all the patience and energy out of everyone, so Kris looked on the Sea World app and saw that the menu of this place was pretty decent.  This building was where they used to have a free tasting room and an informational 'visitor's center' of sorts for Anheuser-Busch - it was awesome, back in the day (back when Kris and I had season passes and would bring the girls to Sea World all the time) we used to make it a point to swing back by this part of the park so I could get my two free, 10 oz samples.  Then I'd have Kris get her two free 10 oz samples and - voila - I'd have a free 40 oz of Bud Light, free of charge.

The girls and I, immediately upon entry, set off on a quest to find a table - which was next to impossible, as the place was packed - but we were able to grab one just as another family was leaving.  Unfortunately, every school district in Central Florida was on a field trip to Sea World today (just check out all the kids in matching shirts above), and the line for food was insane.  Kris waited for about twenty minutes before saying 'screw it' and we set off to find something else.

By this point in time we had circumnavigated the central lake and were closing in on Shamu's Stadium.  Morale was pretty low - my roommates were all hungry and sweaty and our family was very close to disbanding and going off to join other families - as we entered uncharted territory, Sesame Street Land.

We did not stop or slow in the slightest at this point for any of this crap - I had a target in mind for lunch and I was getting my family there, come Hell or high water.

(I didn't check the trash cans.)

At long last, we found another self-serve food place with a decent wait time.  Kris didn't like the menu as much as the last place, but with our family practically falling apart on account of the oppressive heat I made the executive decision.

It was too hot to contemplate eating, so I just stuck with my usual Bud Light Lime.

Nothing like spending $80 on a $20 meal. . . f***ing theme park prices.

Never gets old.

The teenager is thrilled to have her dad's camera in her face.

Kris is having fun.

This recharge is just what we needed.

Kris and the girls almost got in line for this one, then the girls backed out at the last minute and Kris said 'screw it.'  Gotta love kids.

Instead, we headed indoors to a nearby Arctic exhibit (like the Antarctic one we visited earlier, with the penguins, but his one is, you know, on the opposite side of the world and everything.)

Baby Beluga

Cooling off in the air conditioning, screwing around on her phone.

The decor of this place is like a science research facility/outpost of some kind.

Whale tank.

Asking the Cannonball to put down her phone and look at the Goddamn beluga whales.

Scientists are messy.

These dudes are enormous.

More belugas.

Taking some kind of interactive, Arctic facts quiz.

Damn straight we are, computer.

Back outside, here's another shot of that Icebreaker roller coaster Kris didn't get to go on.

It was late afternoon and everyone was funned out with the heat, so we decided to cross the wooden boardwalk that spanned the central lake and head back towards the front of the park.

The Kraken. . . I think.

We've only been on this sky needle thing like one time, and that was about a decade ago.

No shade whatsoever.

I took a bunch of pictures of the shoreline as we made our way back over the boardwalk.  Not much else to do but that and sweat.

Back on dry land, in the 'merch district' of the park, we ducked into this 'art' store to cool off for a hot minute.

These giant oil paintings were available for purchase. . . if you wanted to drop a few grand on 'em (Kris didn't.)

Making our way slowly but surely towards the front entrance.

Passed by this thing on our way out, but we didn't feel like staying long and really checking it out.

That's about the best view we got of the dolphins, folks. 

As we trudged along, trying to make our way back to the car, Abby informed us that she wanted to get a caricature done of herself (yes, seriously.)  So, despite our despair and misery, we ultimately relented and set off to try and find some stupid, frickin' caricature kiosk for the damn kid.

Briefly ducked in to here to check some of these rays out.

After you've logged some time snorkeling with bigger rays (like we did at Discovery Cove), the novelty of petting smaller ones in a tank isn't quite so appealing anymore.

After an exasperating 20 minutes walking around looking for one, we finally found a caricature artist back by the dolphin stadium.  This guy wasn't all that great, but we were like 'screw it.'

You can see how much fun Kris is having right now.

She and Alayna hung out for about five minutes before walking across the thoroughfare in order to cool off in a gift shop's air conditioning until Abby was done.

Some time later, at long last, we finally got the hell out of Sea World.  We made an official family decision on our way out - we would not be returning to this theme park ever again.  This was, by far, the most miserable day of the trip.  Yes, most of that was on account of the weather, but the park's layout maximizes walking outdoors with little shade, and buildings' air conditioning is lackluster at best (they feel like they have boxed fans running instead.)  The roller coasters, if they're running at all, have absurdly long lines, and the shows fill up so fast that you'd have to sit out under the sun for over a half an hour just to get a decent seat.  This leaves you with, what, the walk-through aquarium exhibits?  That's not worth it for us anymore, folks.  No f***ing way.

Once we hit the parking lot Kris took off at a sprint (or her equivalent thereof) for the car so she could get the air conditioning running for a bit before the rest of us got there.

Seriously.  F*** this nonsense.

Back at the Blue Heron resort.  Finally.

Dumping our sweaty clothing into the washing machine and changing into swimsuits - all of us were eager to hit up the pool in order to cool off. 

I've gotten some serious sun over the course of the last couple of days.

Abby took this, I don't know.

Kids were much, much happier being able to get into the water.

After about an hour of swimming in the pool, we brought the girls back upstairs to change once again, as we were heading out for the evening.

We returned to Disney Springs in order to let the kids do some more shopping and grab some dinner.

As always, parking was a nightmare - and took significantly longer than last time - but this was on us, seeing how we were rolling in during peak hours.

The Lime Garage (our usual parking go-to) was full, so we had to park at another fruit garage, this one emptying out in front of Planet Hollywood (which has gotten a makeover since the last time we were here.)

Hitting up the far western side of Disney Springs, where there's a lot of shops and food trucks.

I hadn't packed enough clothing for this vacation because I had every intention of buying another polo from Raglan Road (which I talked about in the last blog post.)  Since they didn't have anything I liked in the other store, I figured I'd try my luck buying one from The House of Blues. . .

For $30 (not a crazy price, by any means), I found a simple black, dry-fit (think moisture wicking) golf polo with 'Orlando House of Blues' embroidered on the chest.  Nothing cool or fancy, but a shirt's a shirt, folks.

After grabbing me a 'meh' polo, the girls wanted to head into this gigantic M&M's store.

A ton of over-priced nonsense in this place.

She almost spent $25 on a personalized bag of M&M's, but we were fortunately able to talk her out of it

Kris really wanted to try out some of the food trucks that were parked nearby, so that's what we did for dinner.

Waiting for our truck orders.  Kris went to some Mexican truck for the girls' food, and was shamed by the vendors working there because our girls both ordered plain, cheese quesadillas, so they referred to Kris' order as 'two Plain Janes.'  There goes her street cred.

Nobody was overly hungry for rood - the heat from earlier in the day really sucked all the appetite out of us.

After dinner, we started walking over towards the other side of Disney Springs where all the bigger stores are.

One of these days I'm going to hit up that Hangar bar, which I guess is based off of Raiders of the Lost Ark (my all-time favorite movie.)  I only found out about this after we had left Disney Springs and were hanging out with the Voigts later in the week.

Strolling through Disney Springs. . .

Cool sunset over this pond thingy.

We popped into here on our way out in order to try and score some free chocolate, but they must not do that anymore - we didn't see anyone passing any out.

Had to convince Abby to save her money - it'd go a hell of a lot farther if she waited a week and bought a bunch of this at Meijer once we got home.

Vesuvius erupts.

We didn't stop inside here as we made our way back to the parking garage, which was surprising because Alayna is absolutely obsessed with Coca-Cola.

Mickey supports the gays. For the month of June, that is.

Back in the garage, hunting down the car.

We were all exhausted as we left Disney Springs, and we had to crash early that night- tomorrow is our first day at Disney World (Hollywood Studios, to be exact), and for Disney parks you definitely wanna get there right when they open, bright and early.  Stay tuned. 

- Brian